Mind Movers brings things home this week as Rhona has a heart-to-heart with her father, Dr Alex Eskander, a renowned obstetrician and gynaecologist. 

Dr Eskander shares his inspiring journey from Egypt to the UK, his experiences as a junior doctor in the NHS, and his transition to private practice. 

The conversation delves into important topics such as the importance of egg freezing, increasing rates of fertility issues, the psychological impact of infertility, and the option of adoption. 



In This Episode

00:01:45 – Backstory

00:05:50 – Journey to the UK and medical training

00:23:40 – NHS experience

00:35:30 – A love story

00:54:40 – Return to the UK

01:08:05 – Private practice

01:11:40 – Egg freezing and ovarian reserve

01:16:25 – Fertility and IVF

01:29:10 – Societal pressures

01:36:30 – Adoption

01:42:15 – Male infertility

01:44:25 – Dr. Iskander’s experience with prostate cancer

01:48:15 – Advice for younger self


About Dr Alex Eskander

Dr Alex Eskander is an obstetrician, gynaecologist and assisted conception consultant. He is the co-director of The Fertility & Gynaecology Academy and founder of the Gynae Centre, London.

Speaker1: I think the most important thing in life is to have to develop an ambition. You [00:00:05] can’t say I’m studying this because and [00:00:10] I don’t know what I’m going to do at the end. I think it’s always better to set up a goal and [00:00:15] then you work towards this goal.

Speaker2: This is mind [00:00:20] movers. Moving the conversation forward on mental health [00:00:25] and optimisation for dental professionals. Your hosts [00:00:30] Rhona Eskander and Payman Langroudi. Hi [00:00:35] everyone. Welcome to another episode of Mind Movers Season two. Today [00:00:40] I am bringing my dad, Doctor Alex Iskandar, which makes me so happy because [00:00:45] he literally is my hero. And you know, Payman asked me. He said, what’s [00:00:50] the angle? And I said, you know, my dad is an incredible because his story of he always downplays it, like [00:00:55] typically from someone that comes from the Middle East. But his story is incredible how he came to the UK, [00:01:00] how he created what he created, harnessed the right kind of values [00:01:05] in me and my sister, who’s ended up working really hard. And on top of that, he’s one of the top [00:01:10] gynaecologists in the UK, which is true. And what’s amazing is any time I post [00:01:15] him a whole load of people on my Instagram, go, he’s my gynaecologist, you know, and [00:01:20] they say, always the most wonderful things about you. Oh, my father also [00:01:25] is the person that told me to do egg freezing. I think way before it was topical, there [00:01:30] was a lot of taboo, and he’d been talking about it a long before people had started doing it. And [00:01:35] I think it’s a really great way for people who are listening to this podcast [00:01:40] to really understand the implications for female health and why that’s beneficial. So welcome, daddy.

Speaker1: Hi. [00:01:45] Thank you. Welcome to you. Thank you for having me on your shows.

Speaker2: Amazing. Okay, [00:01:50] dad. So I want people to hear your story about how you came to the UK from Egypt. [00:01:55]

Speaker1: Okay, so back in the 60s, [00:02:00] uh, when I went to medical school in 1963. [00:02:05] I immediately knew after the third or fourth [00:02:10] year that I wanted to be an obstetrician gynaecologist. Actually, it’s just the [00:02:15] first moment I delivered a baby. I just felt [00:02:20] joy and happiness and I thought I did a great job. In fact, just the [00:02:25] baby came out and I just held the baby. But it was just a great experience. And, [00:02:30] um, and from then onwards, I just planned to be a gynaecologist. And [00:02:35] in the 60s and still until today, [00:02:40] uh, being a member of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists [00:02:45] in the UK has always been a big name, you know, to be a member of that college, very distinguished. [00:02:50] And so it’s been my ambition and ambition of a lot of people in [00:02:55] Egypt, and I’m sure around the world and I’m sure until today. So it was more famous than the American [00:03:00] board at that time. So I planned my journey that I’m [00:03:05] going to leave at the end of my first year year internship. To [00:03:10] go to UK to study for the membership and train [00:03:15] because again, the British training, English training at that time was one of the best. [00:03:20] Okay. So, uh, the last year of my [00:03:25] internship, last year in university, an internship was not an easy year because [00:03:30] during my working hours, I had to obtain the approval of [00:03:35] my work where I was working, the approval of the army [00:03:40] to let me go because I was supposed to be going to the Army for the regular, [00:03:45] uh, um.

Speaker3: Uh, military service.

Speaker1: Military [00:03:50] service.

Speaker2: So that was normal in Egypt. I didn’t even know that today.

Speaker1: Until today. Do you know that? But [00:03:55] only yes. So at 18, you are supposed to go to.

Speaker2: So everyone does.

Speaker1: It. Everyone one does [00:04:00] it. Even Doctor George did it. Wow. So you’re only exempted if you’re the only son. I [00:04:05] was the only son. But it was, uh, still temporary because [00:04:10] my mother could have had another another boy. And therefore, both of us have to go. [00:04:15] But. So how.

Speaker3: Old? How old were you when you decided that was. [00:04:20]

Speaker1: I was about 23 at that time. So when [00:04:25] I was in that position, uh, so I actually went, I said I wanted [00:04:30] a final, uh, exemption from the military because I was [00:04:35] the only son, and my mother had a strict to me. Now, funny enough, I went to the. So [00:04:40] I went to the army officer and I said, listen, but, you know, my mother had her womb out, so [00:04:45] she’s not going to have any more children, so you don’t have to worry. He said, I’ve never had that [00:04:50] that heard of that before, doctor. So we still have to make it temporary. It was [00:04:55] the most difficult period of my internship for [00:05:00] three months trying to obtain a a visa. We had exit visa [00:05:05] at that time. So you have to have the government to sign to say you can go out of the country, which [00:05:10] I hated, and it’s no longer the case. However, anyway, I managed with [00:05:15] difficulty and who I was.

Speaker2: How did you get your plane ticket to England?

Speaker1: Well, actually my [00:05:20] my mother was very clever, so I was engaged to a girl whom she didn’t like, [00:05:25] funny enough. And, uh, and but I liked [00:05:30] her. And I said, you know, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like her. I like her. So she knew the only [00:05:35] way to get me out was a one way ticket to pursue my dream in the UK. [00:05:40] And who could refuse a ticket to the UK to study and to [00:05:45] see the Beatles country? The happy you’ve never.

Speaker3: Been before.

Speaker1: Never been?

Speaker3: And what were your [00:05:50] initial reaction when you when you got the what excitement?

Speaker1: I mean, I was only 22, [00:05:55] 23 when she said, and London.

Speaker3: In the 60s was the centre of the world. Right?

Speaker1: No, no, I mean, not many [00:06:00] people travelled like that nowadays. I mean, it was, you know, fantastic to travel. And I also [00:06:05] had my best friend here already. So I’m going to join him as well. And I’m going to work in, [00:06:10] uh, in uh, British hospitals. And the NHS was a great institution, [00:06:15] really to train. So everybody aspired to go and train in [00:06:20] the UK. So here we are. I took the flight, I landed, [00:06:25] uh, stayed with my friend, and the sooner or later, 2 to 3 months [00:06:30] later, I took my first post in Lincoln.

Speaker2: Lincoln, can you do I know, [00:06:35] and.

Speaker1: I wanted to stay in London. Really? Did you.

Speaker2: Cry?

Speaker1: No I didn’t, I was excited to [00:06:40] see the countryside. Everybody talked about the countryside of England, but I was disappointed. [00:06:45] Why? Why? Number one? I took a train, [00:06:50] a very cold train from King’s Cross to Newark, [00:06:55] I remember. And when I arrived, number one, the train [00:07:00] that I had actually was not luxurious as the train we had in Egypt. So [00:07:05] in Egypt we had a Hungarian kind of train, which was really like a bullet [00:07:10] train nowadays. But the train I had from King’s Cross was really like [00:07:15] a steam train from the past. I was really disappointed. And anyway, I [00:07:20] got to Newark, small station, empty and cold. It [00:07:25] was cold. It was the month of December.

Speaker2: And you were in summer clothes, [00:07:30] I assume? Well, of.

Speaker1: Course I didn’t have heavy clothes. It took me years to accept [00:07:35] that this country needs a heavy coat. So I had a light coat. And anyway, it was a [00:07:40] very small train to take me from Newark to Lincoln. And when I got to Lincoln, [00:07:45] it was dark. It was lonely. There was nobody there at 930. I [00:07:50] remember in Egypt it’s a 24 hour party. You had people open all [00:07:55] the time. So I was very disappointed. Anyway, I landed [00:08:00] in a good health hospital eventually.

Speaker2: How were you funding medical school?

Speaker1: Medical [00:08:05] school in Egypt was free. But when.

Speaker2: You got to the UK, that.

Speaker1: Was [00:08:10] all. I came to the UK with. You’re not allowed to take more than 30 sterling pounds [00:08:15] £30 in his pocket.

Speaker2: That’s it.

Speaker1: 30 but 30, you know. Remember at that time the [00:08:20] the salary of a doctor was about £106 per month, but [00:08:25] still £30 was not much. So I had to work in London in the first two months I [00:08:30] waiter, I did no first you didn’t know that. First [00:08:35] I did kitchen porter.

Speaker2: Was the.

Speaker4: Kitchen kitchen.

Speaker1: Wash wash wash.

Speaker3: Washing [00:08:40] up the dishes.

Speaker2: Spaghetti house no.

Speaker1: Well it was the one behind I think it [00:08:45] was. It was spaghetti house.

Speaker4: Spaghetti house. Yeah.

Speaker1: Because the chef was [00:08:50] a friend of mine and he said, do you want to come? Just temporary. And I thought dishwashers, [00:08:55] you know, plates and spoons and probably have a machine as well. But in fact, [00:09:00] no. When you work as a kitchen porter, junior kitchen porter, remember [00:09:05] the other one who was there before you goes to the washing machine or dishwasher [00:09:10] and you go to the big, big saucepans. You are [00:09:15] talking about big saucepans. You have you need a ladder to to wipe it inside. Did [00:09:20] you.

Speaker3: Already speak English, French, Arabic, some.

Speaker1: English, Arabic of course, but some English, [00:09:25] which I was a better communicator than anybody who didn’t know English. So I could communicate [00:09:30] and I could speak good English. Actually, relatively speaking, I [00:09:35] now I will articulate it that you think that I understand English. So I managed to get by [00:09:40] very well. Anyway, I resigned, I walked out after two hours. I couldn’t do [00:09:45] that. And then I enlisted in a cleaner, uh, agency shop. So. [00:09:50] And I did some cleaning shop. I enjoyed that, actually. The dad.

Speaker2: Loves it. He’s like.

Speaker4: Quiet. I’m [00:09:55] a clean.

Speaker1: Person. He likes.

Speaker4: It. He loves.

Speaker1: Well, I’m. I’m a Boy scout. I was a boy Scout. Really? So [00:10:00] I mean, that helped me a lot to understand many things in life anyway. And [00:10:05] from there I progressed into a waiter at, uh, Texas Pancake House, [00:10:10] which was good. And I saved some money on top of the £30. I think I managed [00:10:15] to get it up to 100, 120 in in a couple of months. It was not too bad with the tips. [00:10:20] And, uh, we encouraged the people who didn’t pay tips to pay tips by [00:10:25] singing to them after the service in French sometimes, or [00:10:30] in Spanish. There was a lovely Spanish boy with me anyway, so. But [00:10:35] I was so pleased. I really appreciated the medical degree then. I [00:10:40] really, really appreciate it. So when you do those other things, you know, and I strongly [00:10:45] recommend everybody to have a degree because a degree really separates you from [00:10:50] the big, big mass. Yes, I disagree okay.

Speaker2: So I’m going to disagree with you now obviously, [00:10:55] like growing up my instilled values and Payman, you can share your thoughts with your own children. [00:11:00] It was instilled you have to go to university. As my mum and dad always said, a degree is worth [00:11:05] its weight in gold. However, as time has gone on and I’ve told you this, I [00:11:10] have met plenty of people who are more successful than people with degrees, especially [00:11:15] in the business world, and some of them that have elevated more. And they would argue that [00:11:20] a degrees are useless and a waste of time. So I think it depends on the person and what they want to do. If you [00:11:25] want to be a doctor, a dentist, a lawyer, etc., then of course it matters what degree [00:11:30] that you do. But I think now people can be entrepreneurial, online and very smart and [00:11:35] very successful without having degrees, I’d say.

Speaker3: I’d say education is less important than it [00:11:40] was back in, in in your day. I remember my, my dad said his degree from [00:11:45] Belfast was like a ticket to printing money back home. Yeah. You know, so it’s that [00:11:50] it’s no longer like that.

Speaker2: Yeah, but what if your children.

Speaker3: Said they didn’t? But with the kids, I almost [00:11:55] see university as like a a holiday or something. Yeah. Like something you should. [00:12:00] Something they should be looking forward to. So if, if they decide they don’t want to go, [00:12:05] I’d say they’re missing out on something like a.

Speaker2: Life experience.

Speaker3: The actual experience of it. And I know your your, your [00:12:10] college wasn’t as fun as mine. I, we had that episode. Yeah, but but [00:12:15] nonetheless, I’d say they’re missing out on just the experience of it. [00:12:20] But I think you’re right that, you know, okay, you could give three years to I agree something else. [00:12:25]

Speaker1: I agree, but I also disagree. Just tell me, what are the percentage [00:12:30] of people without a degree who can be something without [00:12:35] without going to university? Just a figure, just a figure in a hundred person who [00:12:40] are already around us? How many?

Speaker2: What do you think?

Speaker1: Percentage? Uh. [00:12:45]

Speaker3: I mean, okay. Yeah, a lower, a lower, [00:12:50] a lower percentage.

Speaker1: Is 1%, uh, too little or too.

Speaker3: Much? No. Too little, too little. [00:12:55] Yeah. That’s really. Yeah. You can be super successful without a degree. You can more than 1%. [00:13:00]

Speaker1: Yeah.

Speaker3: Oh, yeah. And you can be super unsuccessful with it.

Speaker1: I agree, I think. Listen, so [00:13:05] I’ve.

Speaker2: Actually googled it. Yeah. So it says based on the findings from Entrepreneur.com. [00:13:10] Those who become highly successful without an education appear [00:13:15] to be roughly 6%. So I don’t know.

Speaker1: That’s still 94% [00:13:20] who can make it. And among the entrepreneurs? Well, no, no.

Speaker2: But listen to [00:13:25] this. The percentage of jobs this is from Harvard Business Review. The percentage of jobs requiring [00:13:30] a college degree fell from 51% in 2070 [00:13:35] to 44% in 2021. So most some people now are not requiring [00:13:40] degrees.

Speaker4: Now.

Speaker1: In my days.

Speaker3: No no no, that’s right, that’s right.

Speaker2: That’s what he’s.

Speaker1: Saying. In my [00:13:45] days it was different. Okay, so I agree I was a frustrated entrepreneur. [00:13:50] I could have gone into business straight away after secondary school. [00:13:55] Now secondary school is definitely.

Speaker3: What did your dad do?

Speaker1: Well, he was a civil servant. He was [00:14:00] not really ambitious. He was happy with and he wanted to have a pension. And there are many [00:14:05] people, I think the majority of people want a stable job and a salary. Not [00:14:10] everybody is an entrepreneur. I’m not sure whether you know, whether you can [00:14:15] apply that to everyone. But, you know, if you have an entrepreneurial skills, such [00:14:20] as Zuckerberg, for example. I mean, he knew he had a talent or Richard.

Speaker2: Branson. [00:14:25]

Speaker1: Whatever. You know, those are people who recognise themselves and got frustrated with education. [00:14:30] I got frustrated with education initially because I was an entrepreneur. [00:14:35] But how many business, how many business people succeed? How many end [00:14:40] that also, I.

Speaker2: Think also, but the thing is, is that the school and education system is extremely flawed because [00:14:45] it’s like one fits all kind of model and also but listen like, you know, as well. For example, [00:14:50] when I was young at school, I struggled academically. I’m not talking about Queens when I worked really [00:14:55] hard and etc. but I struggled academically and teachers didn’t help, you [00:15:00] know, my strengths. They would focus on my weaknesses. For example, like, I’m lucky because Queens College, [00:15:05] which was a school that I went to, it was more designed for like the creative type of person, which then [00:15:10] I could thrive in that environment better. But like for example, the education system, like Richard [00:15:15] Branson, is he, um, dyslexic or. Yeah, he’s dyslexic, you know, so he physically [00:15:20] struggled to read and write, for example. But his skills he have obviously he’s an [00:15:25] intelligent person in a different way.

Speaker3: I think it comes to. Do you do you have any sort of feelings of [00:15:30] you might not have become a dentist if you if you weren’t groomed to become a dentist. And, and do you [00:15:35] think that you would be something, something else. Well that you’d rather be.

Speaker2: Well, my dad knows the story [00:15:40] already. I mean, I was always good at drama and English literature. Do you remember? I was really good at [00:15:45] that. And some of my English teachers even said, why don’t you go to university and study English? Do you remember [00:15:50] the teacher saying this? And they said, Go to Oxford? Miss Kalia said that, go, go, [00:15:55] here we go. Look, it sounds like that. And my dad said, listen, don’t waste your time. [00:16:00] Do do the dentistry and you can always do English later.

Speaker4: Whatever you want to do. Yeah, but listen. [00:16:05]

Speaker1: But you had a flair for dentistry.

Speaker4: Of course I wanted.

Speaker2: To be a dentist since I was.

Speaker1: 12. Yeah. I mean, you know, at nine we visited [00:16:10] my cousin in LA who was a successful dentist, and I loved it. And she looked [00:16:15] she loved it because, you know, she had a nice house and in Santa Monica in LA. And [00:16:20] she immediately said, dad, I want to be a dentist.

Speaker3: And what kind of a kid was she?

Speaker4: Fiona? [00:16:25]

Speaker1: She was a strong kid. She was. She knew what she wanted. Handful from [00:16:30] three years old. She would really. She has a strong mind. [00:16:35] That’s what I want. Wow. She she shout at me. So once I was shouting at her mom and [00:16:40] she was only a baby then she was maybe one year plus. She shouted back at me. [00:16:45] She said like that? She couldn’t say shout back, but she [00:16:50] just made a noise to say that she didn’t like what I said. She she’s all been been always [00:16:55] been strong, always been ambitious as well. I think the most important thing in life is [00:17:00] to have to develop an ambition. You can’t say I’m studying this because [00:17:05] and I don’t know what I’m going to do at the end. I think it’s always [00:17:10] better to set up a goal and then you work towards this goal about the education system. [00:17:15] What I think I would have liked if I, if I would have [00:17:20] known that I want to be a doctor at the age of 13, 14. [00:17:25] I would rather have made that choice at that age. And there is a specialised [00:17:30] school from then. I entered medical school then because everything I [00:17:35] studied then from advanced maths to advanced chemistry, [00:17:40] I mean, you need the basics, but you don’t need the advanced one. You know, I forgot all about it. Most [00:17:45] of us forgot.

Speaker2: But people say, for example, that the things like the education system is extremely outdated [00:17:50] and I would I would agree as well. They agree. They said they don’t teach you anything about taxes. They don’t teach [00:17:55] you anything about fertility. Correct. Yet they teach you Pythagoras theorem. You know what I mean? Like, and [00:18:00] it’s like, when have we ever used it?

Speaker1: They concentrate on the basics. And I think there is a reason for that very important [00:18:05] reason, actually. You have to understand that they want you to be a researcher and. [00:18:10] Advance your speciality. They don’t want everybody just to open a clinic and just [00:18:15] really carry on with what they’re doing.

Speaker2: But I’m talking about even like primary school and secondary school as well. Like there’s [00:18:20] such a disconnect. Like for example, people don’t have a basic understanding, including dentists about [00:18:25] accounting, for example, taxes, things like this. We don’t know. You know what I mean? You’re meant to learn. [00:18:30] And actually if you those are important life skills and extremely helpful. Now [00:18:35] I want to talk to you, dad, a little bit about your time as a junior doctor. [00:18:40] As we know, junior doctors now, for the first time in many years, are speaking out [00:18:45] about their experiences. Nhs dentistry is also in a [00:18:50] huge crisis. I haven’t talked to you about it. As you know, I worked for many years on the NHS. Ten years. My dad [00:18:55] made it very, very clear to me. He said you do your time on the NHS by the way, you know, and you know, a lot of dentists don’t do that. He said to [00:19:00] me, you do your time on there. That’s what he said.

Speaker4: And we all have. We all have to do. A [00:19:05] lot of people don’t. It’s a fantastic.

Speaker3: I didn’t.

Speaker2: See he didn’t.

Speaker4: Really. Yeah, yeah. [00:19:10]

Speaker2: So, so.

Speaker4: But it may.

Speaker1: Be different in dentistry.

Speaker2: Why didn’t.

Speaker4: You.

Speaker3: Because [00:19:15] I didn’t want a third party in between me and the patient.

Speaker1: But did you train before [00:19:20] you came here? Sorry.

Speaker4: Were you born here?

Speaker3: Yeah, I trained here, I trained here.

Speaker1: So you trained. [00:19:25]

Speaker3: I trained here.

Speaker2: But he didn’t have to work on the NHS.

Speaker4: He did his training.

Speaker1: But you trained the NHS. You mean just one year. [00:19:30] So like.

Speaker2: He’s saying.

Speaker3: Oh, I did the one year. The.

Speaker1: The only one year.

Speaker3: Yeah, yeah I did, I [00:19:35] did university here and then one year that you have to do. Yes.

Speaker1: But I think you can do that with dentistry [00:19:40] that. But you can’t do it with medicine because you need them. You need the experience.

Speaker4: I [00:19:45] would.

Speaker2: Say. And I you know, people might think that I’m quite bold saying this, but I would say arguably [00:19:50] sometimes working in systems like that can actually de-skill you. Because I did [00:19:55] I did so many years using materials that the budget allowed for [00:20:00] on the NHS system. So for example, like the silver fillings and all this stuff that I actually [00:20:05] didn’t learn how to do, like the white fillings and things like that. So actually my skills are much less than my [00:20:10] colleagues that started doing that work. Of course, you can do that kind of work within the health care system. [00:20:15] It’s just more limited. You know.

Speaker3: People, young dentists ask me all the time, what should I do? [00:20:20] Yeah. And, and our young doctors probably asking you the same question, what should I do? And the [00:20:25] normal advice is do three four years on the NHS, learn [00:20:30] your skill sort of thing, try lots of different things, see what you like, [00:20:35] then start going into those things that you like. But my advice is kind of opposite. [00:20:40] My my advice is, uh, don’t stay in, you know, pick something, pick something, anything. [00:20:45] Yeah, get good at something. And, uh, don’t go into NHS at all because. Because [00:20:50] the standards are low on the NHS. Um, as far as materials, time that you’re given [00:20:55] and so forth, in dentistry, it’s not the same.

Speaker1: I agree. Well, no, no, even in medicine, [00:21:00] let me tell you also that I did general training for [00:21:05] an average of five years until I got my membership. Yeah. [00:21:10] During those five years of training, which I value very much, I worked so hard. I [00:21:15] did a lot of operations which made me a competent gynaecologist more than the today’s [00:21:20] gynaecologist. Sorry, today’s gynaecologist, but you don’t do enough training really like [00:21:25] what we did. But again, is that required? People then specialise. So [00:21:30] we didn’t have subspecialization then. So I had to start [00:21:35] thinking about Subspecialized Subspecializing. So I [00:21:40] actually started to develop some interest in 1973. During [00:21:45] my NHS years I developed an interest in ultrasound. Ultrasound was very [00:21:50] early then. You could only see blips, you couldn’t see a picture. Oh, and we used big [00:21:55] machines. Then from there we. And then I finished my membership in 1977. [00:22:00] So I started 72. Five years was the average. And then I’m again [00:22:05] I thought, I’m qualified. I thought I’m just done and now I want to go out on [00:22:10] my own to practice. Would would have been wrong. Why? In the following two years, [00:22:15] I’ve also learned additional surgical experience. I’ve also started [00:22:20] to do real ultrasound, and then two years later I thought, well, that’s [00:22:25] it, I have enough now. I can’t face the world alone. But I decided to take advanced [00:22:30] three years in research at King’s College and then learn more about [00:22:35] ultra.

Speaker2: Was that based on the recommendation of your consultants? No. Okay, [00:22:40] so you did that. He became.

Speaker4: An expert.

Speaker1: I did that because I wanted.

Speaker2: To become an expert.

Speaker1: Well, I was planning [00:22:45] to go back home and have a lot of experience, like what you did here, but you did [00:22:50] that privately. So I did it in the NHS because there was nothing private. You had to work with the top people [00:22:55] like Stuart Campbell that I worked with in ultrasound. And then eventually when I really [00:23:00] left the NHS, NHS and resigned completely in 1984 [00:23:05] and then I went to the Middle East, I still developed. I worked in institutions where I had to teach. [00:23:10] Myself fertility. So I became multitask. The [00:23:15] problem because I pursued a career which allows in myself. I took it myself [00:23:20] like you. Now that today’s doctors subspecialize [00:23:25] five years after. And if you work in the NHS, [00:23:30] you only work in one subject. They don’t want you to be multitask anymore. So [00:23:35] my time is different from this time and that’s the NHS and you know.

Speaker2: But let’s [00:23:40] talk a little bit about your junior doctor experience because as I said to you, I don’t you know, you qualified [00:23:45] so many years ago and I think the situation has somewhat got worse for junior [00:23:50] doctors. And we’re living, you know, Gen Z in the millennials, they’re much more outspoken. [00:23:55] But do you think?

Speaker3: Yeah, I think that’s the thing. I don’t think the situation has got worse. The situation was [00:24:00] very hard for junior doctors.

Speaker2: So what like what kind of things is it wasn’t easier.

Speaker1: It was harder.

Speaker4: Yeah. [00:24:05]

Speaker3: They should do more work.

Speaker4: Let me.

Speaker2: Talk us through the kind of things that.

Speaker4: Happened to tell you.

Speaker1: Then. So I, you know, my [00:24:10] initial years as a senior House officer was I had to be on call one [00:24:15] and two and sometimes wanting to talk in obstetrics, you’re up all night. [00:24:20] And when my colleague one, one, one of my colleagues went off, he couldn’t find [00:24:25] the locum. They said, do you mind to cover 1 in 1? Being a young [00:24:30] hero, I did it for 15 days straight. They said, we will pay you. [00:24:35] But then, in fact, I wasn’t paid because they said, we can’t find how to pay you because you’re [00:24:40] only you’re not allowed to do overtime. And I accept it then because I was grateful [00:24:45] for the system teaching me.

Speaker2: This is such an interesting point because for me now, [00:24:50] and I want you to chime in as well, a lot of people, they say that the new generation [00:24:55] don’t want to work as hard. They very much say, this is the hours I want to do. They come to job interviews [00:25:00] now and they actually say so this even I’ve seen it within my own clinic, whether it’s dentist, [00:25:05] auxiliary stuff, they decide what hours they want to work. They also very much [00:25:10] prioritise their lifestyle because they don’t want to be burnt out, they don’t want to be tired, [00:25:15] etc. and I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing because people are a good thing. [00:25:20] See, my dad’s doing this right. And I think because also I am the kind of person that, you know, [00:25:25] my first NHS practice, I was on £8.75 a UDA. Some of my friends [00:25:30] were on way more, but I just accepted it and if they wanted me to do overtime, I accepted it. And if [00:25:35] they wanted me to do Saturdays, I accepted it. Do you see what I mean? Whereas now people would argue.

Speaker3: The thing [00:25:40] is, it doesn’t go with running a super efficient business to have people who [00:25:45] are only in one day, a week or two days a week, especially in the mixed practices. Right? And so I [00:25:50] know loads of principles of mixed practices when when a young dentist comes and says, I want to do three [00:25:55] days a week and they do, you know, now and self-care and whatever, they don’t like that. [00:26:00] Yeah, but.

Speaker1: We couldn’t do that in our time.

Speaker3: Yeah, yeah. But but but now I couldn’t have.

Speaker4: What do you think about it. I couldn’t, [00:26:05] I.

Speaker1: Couldn’t have driving lessons even really to commit because I finished, you know, later [00:26:10] than, you know, the time. And many times I said, you know, do you mind if I go because I have a driving lesson, [00:26:15] but, you know, you’re doing surgery at 630, 7:00, so we had to stay. But do you.

Speaker2: Think it’s better [00:26:20] now that people, including medical. I think.

Speaker4: It’s better.

Speaker1: I would I would like to be a [00:26:25] junior doctor now. However, the system was much more forgiving. The people [00:26:30] were lovely. There was no complaints. Then. If things went wrong, you say, oh, don’t [00:26:35] worry doctor, things sometimes go wrong. So we had a culture of forgiveness and.

Speaker4: The GMC. [00:26:40]

Speaker1: Around. I like that culture better then.

Speaker2: Was the GMC around then?

Speaker4: Of course.

Speaker1: Oh absolutely. [00:26:45] Around.

Speaker2: And but was it less of a complaint culture with the.

Speaker1: Less of a complaint?

Speaker3: I think.

Speaker4: They [00:26:50] appreciated.

Speaker1: Doctors more.

Speaker3: Guyanese get sued more than all other doctors, don’t they?

Speaker1: One of the highest.

Speaker3: One of the highest [00:26:55] really more.

Speaker2: Than plastics.

Speaker3: Because it’s kids involved, right. So when something goes wrong, people want to [00:27:00] find they.

Speaker1: Are in the first three, you know, worst.

Speaker4: Subs. That’s why you gave up obstetrics. [00:27:05]

Speaker1: Absolutely. So your insurance I would have had to pay 100,000 back in 1999 [00:27:10] per year. Nowadays. Now nowadays they pay 200, 250,000. [00:27:15] And that’s to do it. Well that’s why, that’s why if you want to have a baby [00:27:20] privately now, they will put you. They would want you to put down payment at the Portland [00:27:25] of 30,000 before you enter the hospital.

Speaker2: Okay. So my question [00:27:30] for you this and obviously you don’t have to answer. It’s too difficult. But did you ever have an incident where a baby died [00:27:35] when you delivered the baby.

Speaker4: Yes of course.

Speaker2: How did that impact you?

Speaker4: I’ve had.

Speaker1: Incidents. When [00:27:40] a baby died, I had an incident, said the time when a mother died also. Yeah. So? [00:27:45] So the first one was devastating. Of course. It’s just terrible. I had to go on holiday the following [00:27:50] day. I couldn’t face it. Big young and she had severe preeclampsia, [00:27:55] so that must have happened 1974. So [00:28:00] I was about maybe 26 really young and it affected me. [00:28:05] But you had the support. The family also consoled you. You did every, uh every. You [00:28:10] think you could? You know, I had to do one day a hysterectomy in the world because she was bleeding to, [00:28:15] you know, she had she had conditions, which she didn’t. We did not recognise the placenta [00:28:20] accreta. She she also died. And a baby has died from [00:28:25] a very easy delivery. Very, very easy delivery. And then [00:28:30] after three days, he just died. And then, uh, when the [00:28:35] coroner did the autopsy, there was a bit of blood in the in the brain. You [00:28:40] would think it’s traumatic because, you know, because the delivery was traumatic, but the delivery [00:28:45] wasn’t traumatic. And then when I asked the the coroner’s, you know, how often [00:28:50] do you see blood in the brain in a straight in in babies in general, you know, delivered [00:28:55] it’s not uncommon. So but again, you feel guilty all the time.

Speaker4: But we [00:29:00] feel.

Speaker2: Guilty as dentists like. Well, you know, Payman works with one of the top dentists in the UK. [00:29:05] And like, I know how it feels like we’ll have like, sleepless nights over a margin. Do you know what I mean? On a tooth. Do you see [00:29:10] what I mean? Like it’s like, we’ll think about it and think about it or, you know, a shade match or something like that. But then [00:29:15] you hear this, you know what?

Speaker1: It’s normal. It will be unusual not to get upset. We get upset [00:29:20] even when we have a complaint. Where did I where did I go wrong?

Speaker4: So.

Speaker2: But was it those [00:29:25] events that you said I want to stop OBS? Or was it more the complaints side of things that made you want to stop obstetrics? [00:29:30]

Speaker4: No, no.

Speaker1: No, I loved obstetrics all the way. It was age. I was past 50 by [00:29:35] then. I knew I couldn’t carry any longer getting up during the night. You actually sleep on [00:29:40] edge, you know, half asleep, half. You’re waiting for a call, you know? And to be [00:29:45] honest, at that time, I decided that I’m going to stay with my patients in the hospital [00:29:50] if I had a private obstetrics until she’s delivered. So I looked after her because I couldn’t wait [00:29:55] to go to to bed and then wake up again and wake up. So imagine how many nights like [00:30:00] that. So I gave it up and for the insurance as well. And I decided to become only gynaecologist [00:30:05] then.

Speaker3: So, doctor, tell me about when you made the decision to leave the NHS. [00:30:10]

Speaker2: This is, this is so interesting by the way. Also I want to before he [00:30:15] talks about the decision to leave the NHS. I want to like rewind a little bit because people are very interested in my [00:30:20] childhood. I got trolled the other day on TikTok. I didn’t tell you all you, but basically someone [00:30:25] said this woman is lying about her success because her father is a multi-millionaire gynaecologist [00:30:30] who paid for everything and bought her her clinic and everything in it. [00:30:35] Can we just have it on her? Did you buy me my clinic at all?

Speaker4: Exactly. [00:30:40]

Speaker2: And no.

Speaker4: Are you a mona?

Speaker1: Iskander did everything herself. [00:30:45] Trust me. Rhona Eskander. She works three three years [00:30:50] in the NHS. Not three.

Speaker2: Years. I did eight.

Speaker4: Years.

Speaker1: Well, whatever. In the first three years in the NHS [00:30:55] she where she worked, she was earning 42,000 [00:31:00] a year. And I’m saying it really in front of everybody. [00:31:05] She came after three years said, she said dad, I managed to save £80,000 [00:31:10] because I want to buy a flat.

Speaker4: In three [00:31:15] years.

Speaker1: And trust me, in these three years I.

Speaker4: Didn’t do anything I saved.

Speaker1: I [00:31:20] did not help her rent for rent. I couldn’t help her for anything.

Speaker2: I [00:31:25] only university, that’s what I say. You paid for my education? Yes.

Speaker4: In school. [00:31:30]

Speaker2: Yes, etc. but then after university I was done right. I saved everything. [00:31:35]

Speaker4: Myself.

Speaker1: Cheers. And I’m not a multi-millionaire at all.

Speaker4: There we go.

Speaker1: I told I couldn’t [00:31:40] afford to be honest. I had one policy, always with them since she was very young, her or [00:31:45] her sister. I gave you a pocket money from day. From the two years [00:31:50] of age I think I gave them. I give them a weekly pocket money. And I said, well, it’s up to you to [00:31:55] save or to spend it or spend it. It doesn’t really matter. But they’ve learned the value of money [00:32:00] from a.

Speaker4: Young age since I was three and.

Speaker1: And then during education, [00:32:05] then they got used to that pocket money. It was a trick to also [00:32:10] bargain with education. If you don’t do your homework, there’s no pocket money this week. I’m terribly sorry. [00:32:15] So did you.

Speaker3: Work as well?

Speaker4: No, no.

Speaker2: Because for me, just.

Speaker3: Saved. You were a good saver.

Speaker2: No, I was good. [00:32:20] Say, I was a really good saver. Remember, I don’t drink. So when people were spending loads of money on drinking, I think I [00:32:25] saved a lot of money on on no alcohol because I just don’t drink. I think that also [00:32:30] the other thing is like you said, like I remember I was only 2 or 3, but I really remember it. Dad sat me down, just [00:32:35] had bath time, and he goes, I’m going to give you something called pocket money. You’re going to get one dinner [00:32:40] because we lived in Bahrain, by the way, at this.

Speaker4: Point, equivalent to £2.

Speaker2: And then um, so my [00:32:45] dad went to the Middle East. It’s quite interesting because I want him to tell you why he went to the Middle East and how his experience, [00:32:50] that’s when he met my mum. But even more interestingly, is when we came back to the UK, [00:32:55] there was huge financial struggle because I remember we went to Asda and [00:33:00] we weren’t allowed to buy, we weren’t allowed to buy normal coke, Coca Cola because I.

Speaker1: Only bought Asda. [00:33:05]

Speaker4: Cola.

Speaker2: Coke because we couldn’t afford it. So I think that’s quite interesting.

Speaker3: I think the. Decision [00:33:10] needs to be had. Yeah, that if you were a multi-millionaire. Yeah. And there are plenty [00:33:15] of people who are multimillionaires whose kid might be a dentist. Yeah. Yeah, that that still [00:33:20] doesn’t mean there’s anything less about your, you know, your your achievement [00:33:25] of what you’ve managed to do. Yeah. Whether or not there was money [00:33:30] at at the beginning or not or not, the achievement is its own achievement. [00:33:35] Yeah.

Speaker1: Oh, absolutely.

Speaker3: So so, you know, I can understand if someone said your [00:33:40] dad’s multimillionaire and that’s not true.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Speaker3: Not true. You want to set that record straight? Yeah. [00:33:45] But if my dad was a multi-millionaire and he helped me start enlightened. Great. [00:33:50] Yeah, yeah, the last 23 years of ups and downs and all of that, [00:33:55] you know, my own work or whatever. But the person who started out rich or [00:34:00] started out poor, shouldn’t you? It makes no difference. We all have our life struggles to get through. [00:34:05] Yeah. And, you know, even the poorest person in the UK isn’t one of the [00:34:10] richest people on the world global scale. Yeah. So, you know, it depends on how you’re [00:34:15] also.

Speaker1: Also how many millionaires children have made it. A lot of them [00:34:20] are failures as well.

Speaker4: It’s more difficult. Many many, many.

Speaker3: Many can never [00:34:25] get their own achievements recognised.

Speaker1: But trust me, I just [00:34:30] I didn’t. I only paid for education. Her mother paid her also for her private schooling.

Speaker2: Let’s go [00:34:35] a little bit into that. So why did you move to the Middle East. So you’re working in the UK? You were.

Speaker4: 30.

Speaker1: I was multitask [00:34:40] and really I knew now by then I knew I had a lot of experience. I had [00:34:45] colposcopy behind my wings, I had ultrasound experience, all advanced. I had [00:34:50] advanced keyhole surgery. And you’re talking about 1984. Not nowadays. [00:34:55] Um, and then, you know, I had some fertility experience. But [00:35:00] to be honest, by 84 I was so tired and and also the competition [00:35:05] was different. When you applied for consultant jobs, you know, there was another [00:35:10] hundred applicants with you as well to apply and you had to really be [00:35:15] shortlisted. And I was shortlisted a few times, but I couldn’t just go through the bottleneck [00:35:20] one more time and I said, I just need a break. And everybody was having fun. [00:35:25] It was a party in the Middle East. And also I went.

Speaker2: But also, can you, can you be honest that there [00:35:30] were too many women in the UK and you couldn’t settle down?

Speaker1: I couldn’t say no, not not because of too [00:35:35] many women. I couldn’t settle with the person that I wanted to be.

Speaker4: With too much.

Speaker2: Choice.

Speaker1: Maybe [00:35:40] it’s the London is distracting.

Speaker4: Distracting London.

Speaker1: London [00:35:45] is distracting and I tell you so. There are not many loving relationships. There are [00:35:50] many, many people.

Speaker4: And well, it.

Speaker1: Still is. A lot of people find it difficult [00:35:55] to find a loving relationship so you can be friendly.

Speaker4: Do you feel that a.

Speaker2: Lot of women talk to you about that in the clinic? [00:36:00] Like there’s a lot of women.

Speaker4: Who tell me.

Speaker1: Exactly that you can have sex and a lot of sex in London, [00:36:05] but you can’t have too much love. Many love.

Speaker2: Why do you think that is?

Speaker1: I think this [00:36:10] is the way people are, you know, people are just more focussed on their career now. They’re not [00:36:15] really ready to have a family until later in life. And that’s when we talk about egg [00:36:20] freezing. It’s a fact most people don’t have children in [00:36:25] my clinic by the age of 33, to be fair, maybe 35 [00:36:30] even.

Speaker2: But but my question for you is is not so much that part, but why do you think they say they struggle [00:36:35] to find a decent partner?

Speaker3: Bruno, do you agree that these days getting married for [00:36:40] a man is a lot less interesting than it was?

Speaker1: And that’s that’s [00:36:45] also that’s also a point. Yes. He’s got many choices and he doesn’t have to commit herself [00:36:50] himself. But also, I think men get worried about litigation. [00:36:55] The law stands more with women than men. It’s against men. Yeah. [00:37:00]

Speaker3: It’s maybe the worst thing.

Speaker1: That can happen. They are at a disadvantage.

Speaker2: It’s funny, my fiance said the other day, [00:37:05] it’s going to make you laugh. He was getting so stressed about the civil ceremony and I was [00:37:10] like, don’t stress. I was like, just, it’s fine. Like, we’re going to get the date when we get the date. And he goes, you don’t understand. [00:37:15] If the papers aren’t signed, I’ll have no rights to the baby. And I was like, oh, okay. I was [00:37:20] like, I would never do that to you. I would never do that to him. Like, we have such a strong relationship. But I think, [00:37:25] like men subconsciously do worry and like, of course one of my best friends. Would you would.

Speaker3: You sign [00:37:30] a what’s a prenup, a.

Speaker2: Prenup? I wouldn’t mind a prenup. You know, I was listening to [00:37:35] a really amazing podcast. I’m going to send it to you, Lex Friedman and James Sexton. Have you listened to it? No, it [00:37:40] is phenomenal. The podcast basically is, um, the biggest [00:37:45] divorce lawyer in America. And he talks about everything. He talks about everything. So [00:37:50] in this podcast he basically talks about Prenups and everything like that. He goes, everyone [00:37:55] gets so upset about prenup. Oh, do they love me because it is just an insurance [00:38:00] policy. He goes, I tell you this, even he goes, even the people that you see, all the celebrities that pretend they [00:38:05] haven’t had a prenup, he goes 90% have had a prenup. And then he goes on to say. One [00:38:10] of the most interesting things about the prenup is, is that a lot of [00:38:15] people are obsessed with putting an infidelity clause. So whether it’s either party, they [00:38:20] say the prenup will only apply if there’s no infidelity. Right? But he says if you put an infidelity [00:38:25] clause, it just makes it more interesting for the lawyers because he discourages them. Because what [00:38:30] defines infidelity? Texting someone, even if they say, oh, look, here’s the hotel [00:38:35] room. He was in the hotel with the room. How can you prove something happened? Do you see what I mean? So it becomes very difficult [00:38:40] to prove what what is actually. And you start getting into the nitty gritty. But would you.

Speaker3: Worry? So [00:38:45] if your fiance, you know, pulled out a piece of paper and said, I wouldn’t.

Speaker2: Worry, I.

Speaker3: Wouldn’t worry, you’d be.

Speaker2: Cut? I think [00:38:50] that’s because I’m not financially driven when it comes to my choice [00:38:55] of partner, like as like, and I think the same goes his way, like with me and him and again, like, but. [00:39:00]

Speaker3: I’ve had friends. I’ve had friends where I’ve said to them, I’ve recommended, hey, you know, get a prenup. And, [00:39:05] and they say.

Speaker1: Does it work?

Speaker3: I can’t even bring it up.

Speaker1: But does it work?

Speaker2: Yeah. Well, according to [00:39:10] Rolanda.

Speaker3: Does a prenup work? Yes. Well, I don’t know the law in the UK. Yeah, but. But they can’t [00:39:15] even bring it up with their with their fiance because bringing it up brings an argument, brings in an [00:39:20] argument.

Speaker2: That has a friend. I’m not going to mention her name, but the daughter called off the wedding [00:39:25] because the guy wanted a prenup, remember? You know, I’m talking about she called off the wedding. Yes, she called it [00:39:30] off.

Speaker1: He was American. She was English. And, um, she called off the wedding [00:39:35] and has to withdraw all the invitations. You have to think about which I think, you know, I [00:39:40] think you know.

Speaker3: You know what? No, no.

Speaker1: But but I think it was fair from the guy. He had a lot of wealth [00:39:45] and she didn’t have any wealth. It’s fine to to no prenup.

Speaker4: But I’ve.

Speaker2: Had. [00:39:50] Can I be completely transparent with you? Sure. My clinic is my clinic. I’ve worked so damn hard for that [00:39:55] clinic. No matter who I marry, I still want my clinic to be my clinic. What we build together thereafter [00:40:00] during the wedding.

Speaker4: Exactly.

Speaker2: Also what he has got. [00:40:05] I don’t expect to just take that for what he has worked for, for hard, for prior to me. Do you understand [00:40:10] what I’m saying? Us together is a different thing. But, you know, like immediately, as you know, in a separation, [00:40:15] they get 50% of everything, including what you had before. So I think it’s like you have these discussions [00:40:20] and as you know, it’s a bit like getting into disputes with business partners. It’s much easier to have [00:40:25] the conversations when you love each other and care about each other, like like doing a shareholders agreement, for example. The beginning. [00:40:30]

Speaker4: Set the boundaries. What you’ve done.

Speaker1: Before is yours. It’s very.

Speaker2: Nice. I mean, that’s what I believe.

Speaker1: A friend [00:40:35] of mine whom you know very well is going through a divorce at the moment. Really? Her [00:40:40] lawyers, her lawyers, they wanted they want him to declare what [00:40:45] he had inherited from his parents. So going after his parents [00:40:50] properties as well, who died?

Speaker3: Lawyers, lawyers love to get the money right. And wherever, wherever the money [00:40:55] is exactly they will go after.

Speaker1: They will just want to know. And they will. They will have a go. They will have [00:41:00] a go.

Speaker4: Yeah. So so I’m.

Speaker1: Sorry, I have to write my property to [00:41:05] the doc charity.

Speaker4: No. Okay.

Speaker2: So but okay. So dad. So [00:41:10] anyway, so you were there. But this made me laugh so much. He actually really wanted to get married at 38. And [00:41:15] he decided because.

Speaker1: 37.

Speaker4: There was no.

Speaker2: There was no. Can you believe I’m going to be 37 on Wednesday? [00:41:20]

Speaker3: Congratulations.

Speaker2: So depressed.

Speaker4: I know old.

Speaker1: Or no, if you don’t [00:41:25] say it, nobody will know. But it doesn’t really matter.

Speaker4: People still think I’m young. He just told 10,000 people. Yes.

Speaker2: Yes, [00:41:30] 10,000 people. Listen to this podcast. Anyway, listen. So the one, the other thing [00:41:35] that I wanted to say to you was, is, um, now my age thing. Yeah. So he wants he [00:41:40] said there was no Tinder. There was no, he said that he put out an advert on the Yellow Pages describing [00:41:45] a secretary that he wanted, but basically his perfect woman.

Speaker1: Well, when I didn’t [00:41:50] really find the one I really, really want, I said, but why don’t you interview [00:41:55] people? But not for marriage, but as a secretary. So I plan [00:42:00] to take up a suite in the Hilton Cairo and and, [00:42:05] you know, at that time and I was close now in Saudi Arabia, I was close to Cairo and, [00:42:10] and I planned to have a secretary with all the specification of what [00:42:15] I want. And in fact, a lot of it applies to my wife. So she has [00:42:20] to speak.

Speaker4: She manifested her, she.

Speaker1: Has to speak Arabic and as well as English, French [00:42:25] as well will be an advantage. Uh, American University of Cairo educated [00:42:30] my mum.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Speaker2: Lebanon.

Speaker4: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker1: And then in fact. But I [00:42:35] met my wife without the advert. And just before that I met my wife. And it was an interesting [00:42:40] point because I was going to advertise for a secretary and I was going to choose one of them then to be [00:42:45] my wife. But it didn’t happen. I didn’t have to go through that. But it was a fun. [00:42:50] That was your.

Speaker4: Version of a fun.

Speaker1: Experience to go.

Speaker4: Through it. How was how was.

Speaker2: Saudi [00:42:55] when you went? Because he was in Saudi then in the 80s.

Speaker4: Then how was it?

Speaker1: Saudi was very primitive and very [00:43:00] Islamic. You know, there were it’s all Wahhabis and they had their own rules. Yeah. And [00:43:05] but I.

Speaker4: Worked I.

Speaker1: Worked in the American. Yes. In the, in the. Arabian [00:43:10] American oil company called Aramco, and Aramco had a [00:43:15] walled village of 60,000 people from all from the States, from, [00:43:20] uh, the whole Arab world, from England, from Canada as well. So I lived [00:43:25] among a foreign international community, and the hospital was advanced so I could use [00:43:30] all the skills. We had ultrasounds, we had colposcopy, we had everything. So I was happy there. Is that.

Speaker3: Where you [00:43:35] met.

Speaker1: Rodney? That’s where I met my wife. Yeah. My wife. I saw her in the streets [00:43:40] of, uh, Hobart, which is just outside Aramco. And I said, My [00:43:45] God, this is my woman.

Speaker4: Can you imagine? She loved to.

Speaker1: Hear [00:43:50] that on broadcast. I really said it. And I just fell in love with her. Just walking the streets [00:43:55] with a modest cover. She looked incredible.

Speaker2: Bright green eyes.

Speaker1: Yeah. Three days later, [00:44:00] I met her in the hospital, and I just sat close to her so [00:44:05] she can notice me in the dining room. And then I went to. I moved on to [00:44:10] a coma to a friend who happened to. She knew as well. She also came for me as [00:44:15] well on that table because she also.

Speaker4: Uh, admired me. So it was.

Speaker1: And, [00:44:20] you know, which is great. You know, I love it when a woman. My advice to women, if you like a man, [00:44:25] go for him. You know, because men are generally men, men are generally [00:44:30] shy, and they love the woman who chooses them as well.

Speaker4: But, you know, but.

Speaker2: It’s interesting that [00:44:35] you say that because I have a friend of mine, you know, my best friend, her new boyfriend chased [00:44:40] her and he said he finds it a complete turn off when a woman [00:44:45] approaches him or when a woman, he finds it a turn off because he likes to feel alpha and macho and like [00:44:50] he’s done the choosing. But having said that, do you know. Sorry, dad, I’m going to.

Speaker3: Break a Russian.

Speaker2: No, he’s not. [00:44:55] He’s not Russian at all. Um, but he’s he’s he’s he’s pretty modern, but isn’t like, he just [00:45:00] doesn’t like that. The other thing is, my sister. You probably know this well, my [00:45:05] sister, if she likes someone, she makes it known. She will even give her phone number on a piece of paper.

Speaker1: Yeah, yeah, [00:45:10] but.

Speaker2: And it’s worked out for her perfectly.

Speaker1: But it’s not. It’s not for a one night stand. That’s [00:45:15] wrong. It’s really. There has to be an attraction and a love and a relationship. [00:45:20]

Speaker4: But do you not think.

Speaker2: Men like.

Speaker3: What’s wrong with the one night stand?

Speaker4: What’s wrong?

Speaker1: Everything wrong?

Speaker2: Don’t [00:45:25] say that on a podcast.

Speaker4: No, no, no, it’s wrong, it’s wrong.

Speaker1: There’s no really. A [00:45:30] sexual relationship is fantastic within a loving relationship.

Speaker4: But some people [00:45:35] like.

Speaker1: No emotions and love. Well, it’s just an attraction. It’s just beauty. And to be honest, [00:45:40] it’s all the same. If there is no love, it’s all the same.

Speaker2: But the thing is, some people might say that [00:45:45] they enjoy one night stands because they feel empowered and that they feel that they are [00:45:50] they are in their sexual element. I don’t know, I’ve never had it’s not me. So I don’t know.

Speaker1: It’s not [00:45:55] me. I mean, as I said, I’m.

Speaker4: Just one time.

Speaker2: It’s personal choice, I.

Speaker4: Think, which I.

Speaker1: Don’t, I well, from my experience [00:46:00] I did never enjoyed it really hard. I’m sorry for all the girls that I had to be with.

Speaker4: But [00:46:05] really, well, you know.

Speaker1: There was some attraction, of course, but I had [00:46:10] to really develop some attraction and understanding and some love, some love which.

Speaker4: You [00:46:15] make the same.

Speaker2: As in like I feel that to really like someone it has to always be emotional connection. [00:46:20] Yes. Emotional connection.

Speaker4: But that’s that’s the case for women.

Speaker1: Women always need and I’m. [00:46:25]

Speaker2: Not sure anymore. What do you think?

Speaker3: No, I think I think that traditionally that was the case. I think there [00:46:30] is something about women that leads them that way. Different. Yeah. Yeah. Women and men are different. Yes. [00:46:35] But I know plenty of men who say exactly what you said. Yes, yes. And I know plenty of women who [00:46:40] are up for lots of one. Yes. Correct. You know.

Speaker1: Because they don’t want to be committed. And it’s a good thing.

Speaker3: I feel like it’s [00:46:45] a good thing.

Speaker1: But I was a romantic guy when I was young in the NHS, and I tried to fall in [00:46:50] love many times. The girls didn’t like it. Oh, you’re too serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So I, you know, I.

Speaker4: Gave [00:46:55] up eventually.

Speaker2: I think nowadays also women do complain that they want to have a really loving, emotionally [00:47:00] available person, but then they always classically go for like the guy that isn’t that, [00:47:05] you know, and then they start complaining, you know, there is something to blame. And I definitely went through a period where I [00:47:10] realised I was the common denominator in my bad situations, because I was choosing the wrong [00:47:15] man subconsciously. I remember like, um, choosing the wrong men subconsciously. And actually [00:47:20] I looked at it and I was like, you know what? Like, my parents are like the beacon of like, healthiness. [00:47:25] And my partner now who was emotionally unavailable. But there was a change there [00:47:30] definitely like reflects more of, you know what I have grown up with, doctor.

Speaker3: You’ve been married [00:47:35] how many years?

Speaker1: Oh, 1985, 1985. [00:47:40] So coming close to 40 years, I think 38.

Speaker4: Years. [00:47:45] You still love her.

Speaker2: As much as you did.

Speaker4: Back then? Just as.

Speaker3: Much. But what’s the secret?

Speaker1: And, you know, my wife also just [00:47:50] loves. What’s the.

Speaker3: Secret? Because. Because, you know, 40 years is a long time. And so [00:47:55] in constant forgiveness.

Speaker1: Do we do we pick her? We pick her all [00:48:00] the time. Somebody said, and I said all the time. But you know what? Because there is [00:48:05] love. We forget really and forgive within. Now I [00:48:10] am 24, 48 hours, but I used to be 14, 15 days of sulking [00:48:15] as well in the past. But my wife five minutes. Yeah, five minutes. [00:48:20] And I can feel and you know, what do.

Speaker2: You think as well? Because mum used to tell me as well, like in the early stages of your relationship, [00:48:25] that one thing that was difficult for her, which you might not know about, is there were women constantly [00:48:30] trying also to deter your attention away from her. And there was like, you know what [00:48:35] women get like, I know, I know. And mum mum found that difficult. But what do you think that also within that relationship [00:48:40] because a lot of people like a mistake that happens is they get so comfortable in relationships [00:48:45] that they do start to cheat on their partner or they lose interest because, as you know, relationships [00:48:50] go for different stages from the two year to the five year to the ten year. So why? What do you think? Also [00:48:55] held you together? My mum’s a bit.

Speaker4: Of a I.

Speaker1: Mean, I have a theory which not many women are [00:49:00] going are going to agree about. Really, I have a feeling that men [00:49:05] are hypersexual in general. They just really more [00:49:10] sexually easily aroused and attracted, and [00:49:15] they’re very vulnerable and weak because of that. Until they get into their 40s [00:49:20] and 50s and sometimes even carry on, they are just vulnerable women, [00:49:25] you know, they’re emotionally more emotionally driven. So they’re not. But I mean, a lot of women will disagree. [00:49:30]

Speaker3: Well, on an evolutionary level, you know, a woman cannot [00:49:35] be as careless as a man, correct. Because you know, the consequences are correct. [00:49:40] A child.

Speaker4: You know, many.

Speaker1: Many men really don’t care whether you they don’t know whether they [00:49:45] can make you pregnant or the night. Very few are responsible.

Speaker2: Very few, of course, very.

Speaker4: Few.

Speaker1: Only [00:49:50] the women have to be responsible. It’s not fair.

Speaker2: Okay, so tell us your point then.

Speaker1: So my [00:49:55] point is that so men will be easily attracted to [00:50:00] women.

Speaker4: Then how did.

Speaker1: Because they are inherently like that. Women are not. They’re more emotionally [00:50:05] driven. Unless they feel that they become less attractive. [00:50:10] They become egotistic. They want the attraction, they want to know they’re desired as well. [00:50:15] And that happens to women after a long, boring message and where everything became just really [00:50:20] a routine. I think the secret. Of a loving relationship is [00:50:25] to forgive the men more, and [00:50:30] the man has to forgive the woman. But it’s always very difficult. And men usually don’t forgive very [00:50:35] much, but they have to forgive. So it’s a matter of forgiveness, even if there was infidelity. [00:50:40]

Speaker2: So this is so interesting.

Speaker4: Interesting, because.

Speaker3: You and Shivani spoke about this.

Speaker4: Because.

Speaker1: Because the long, loving relationship [00:50:45] should concre that.

Speaker2: So one thing that I would say to you is, is again, in the James Sexton [00:50:50] podcast, which you should definitely listen to, the first question that’s asked by clients when [00:50:55] they find out about infidelity, the men ask, did you have sex with [00:51:00] him? Yes. The women asks, do you love her? So that’s the first question. Correct. So when a woman finds [00:51:05] out her husband cheated is do you love her? When a men finds out his wife has cheated, he says, did you have sex with him? And it’s quite [00:51:10] interesting to see that like psychology of different. Correct. You know, when it comes to [00:51:15] that, because you can see then where the importance lies.

Speaker3: It’s such an unfair question. You’re not even married yet. But if it did [00:51:20] happen to you.

Speaker2: Oh, here we go.

Speaker3: Yeah. Would you have hard and fast rules or would you [00:51:25] take your dad’s advice?

Speaker2: I think that I wouldn’t have hard and fast rules and I would probably get annihilated. [00:51:30] Shivani would definitely annihilate me for this. But I think that, like hearing stories from [00:51:35] my dad also about the patients that he gets in his clinic, there’s complications, [00:51:40] right? Like my dad might diagnose, for example, a sexually transmitted disease, [00:51:45] and the partner’s like. But I don’t get it. How could I have got a disease? I’ve only been with my partner. And then there’s like these [00:51:50] difficulties, etc., and he talks about like the nuances of relationships. My honest [00:51:55] answer would be is, I don’t know until I’m in that situation and I think we pass too much judgement. [00:52:00]

Speaker3: But I think, look, you draw a hard line at infidelity. Infidelity can be psychological. [00:52:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker2: Thinking about someone.

Speaker3: Yeah. Well, listen, someone.

Speaker4: For a week, but.

Speaker1: You know. But if [00:52:10] he’s in love, that’s it. Fine. You can go with her if you are in love. But [00:52:15] if it was only a matter of sexual encounter one night stand and I was wrong, [00:52:20] quite honestly, I wouldn’t destroy my marriage for that. You know.

Speaker2: I think it really depends on the situation [00:52:25] that you’re in. And as you said, if it happens, like multiple times and. Yeah. And the difficulty is I mean, [00:52:30] I talked about Esther Perel. Have you ever listened to her? Oh, she’s brilliant. She’s again a psychologist [00:52:35] and she does a lot. She’s French. So obviously very you know, she’s very open, [00:52:40] open to infidelity. But Esther Perel talks about infidelity, and she [00:52:45] also talks about how a lot of couples try to come back from it. But she says the biggest [00:52:50] judgement, what’s interesting because she goes into different types. But what’s interesting is, is that [00:52:55] back in the day, as you know, both of your generation, your generation and your generation, you’re not as old as [00:53:00] my dad. But still people, if people got, um, cheated [00:53:05] on people would judge you for [00:53:10] leaving. That’s what they would say. But nowadays people judge [00:53:15] you for staying. And I thought that was an interesting point, because what she’s saying is that, like people.

Speaker4: You mean if [00:53:20] you.

Speaker1: Forgive and stay in the relationship.

Speaker4: Nowadays? Yes.

Speaker3: Nowadays people blame.

Speaker2: In the past.

Speaker4: They [00:53:25] will judge.

Speaker2: Yes. But in the past they.

Speaker1: Judge you as being a nice person.

Speaker4: Or a fool. What a.

Speaker2: Stigma. And even when [00:53:30] I was growing up, having people that had divorced parents was such a stigma. Oh my God, not anymore. [00:53:35]

Speaker3: Yeah.

Speaker2: Not anymore. You know what I mean?

Speaker1: They’re not totally happy children as well.

Speaker2: There are no I [00:53:40] think it depends, dad, because there’s a lot of co-parenting. There’s a lot of healthy conversations, [00:53:45] you know, like the life has changed, etc..

Speaker3: Do you know anyone who has an open relationship?

Speaker2: Polyamorous [00:53:50] relationship? No. Do you get clients with polyamorous relationships?

Speaker3: It’s very it’s very much more common these days. [00:53:55]

Speaker2: Yeah. It is.

Speaker1: Polyamorous means.

Speaker2: Like say for example, it’s consensual like so say [00:54:00] say like.

Speaker1: So like husband share to husband.

Speaker4: But then couples your couples.

Speaker2: But you might go [00:54:05] to sex parties together. You might have.

Speaker3: You don’t have to. You agree that you don’t have to.

Speaker2: You agree [00:54:10] that it’s not complete monogamy, but you still come home together.

Speaker4: Of course. Of course I’ve had I’ve had.

Speaker1: One, one [00:54:15] that I know. And she said she was much happier. They’re both much happier than before, [00:54:20] you know. Interesting. Their marriage was really on a verge of a Break-Up. Now they are very close and they [00:54:25] really enjoy the company of that.

Speaker2: Because they still come home to each other and love each other, I think. I mean, [00:54:30] that’s a whole different topic, but quickly I want to get over like, so then you were in Saudi because I want [00:54:35] to go back onto that topic. You were in Saudi, then you decided to come back to the UK. For what reason?

Speaker4: Yes, [00:54:40] just.

Speaker1: To, but just I want to add one point. There are two cultures now about what we’ve just said [00:54:45] there. So I have people from the Gulf. Okay. [00:54:50] I’m because I see them more. Okay. And they have.

Speaker4: In London.

Speaker1: In London [00:54:55] and they have a loving relationship. They are intellectuals and [00:55:00] middle above middle class. And they come sometimes. I [00:55:05] mean, I hope I don’t offend obviously that come. They know their husband [00:55:10] cheats, they know and they forgive them completely. And sometimes they come for.

Speaker4: But [00:55:15] you don’t think they come for an.

Speaker1: Std screen because they want to make sure he hasn’t passed the strain. [00:55:20] Totally forgiven. Are they happy? So happy.

Speaker4: They [00:55:25] do, you know.

Speaker2: Think that’s like a cultural thing? Cultural thing. It’s a cultural.

Speaker4: Thing. So we go.

Speaker1: Back to culture. Yes, yes. But here [00:55:30] it would not be acceptable. They cut off the relationship. But to me ask [00:55:35] me, I have the two in front of me who’s happy, who’s more happy? The Saudi who did [00:55:40] not break a relationship and she accepts it as men are men doctors.

Speaker4: You don’t know if she’s. [00:55:45]

Speaker2: Very happy, actually.

Speaker4: Happy.

Speaker1: I know they are very happy because they’ve been a long time with me. I know. [00:55:50]

Speaker4: Okay, fine now.

Speaker1: So let’s now to Saudi. What made me come back?

Speaker2: Yeah. So you wanted us to grow [00:55:55] up in a more democratic society as two girls?

Speaker1: Yes, yes. I mean, this is a very important [00:56:00] point and a message to everybody who is outside their homeland. It doesn’t have to be England. But [00:56:05] I’m going to say home is home. Home is where you grow. Home is [00:56:10] where you can make your wealth and your future. So if you decide to stay longer [00:56:15] as an expatriate, and I’ve seen a lot of examples like that, you have to find out [00:56:20] where you’re going to educate your children. And most of the time, your children are going [00:56:25] to leave you and go into a private boarding school in, in England [00:56:30] or in America. And, and if you decide to educate [00:56:35] them, for example, in Dubai, sooner or later you or them have to leave. And if [00:56:40] you decide to stay, well, it’s not easy. Dubai is not their homeland. They don’t have a [00:56:45] Dubai or Emirati passport. I actually mainly left even [00:56:50] that though that I had a license to practice in Dubai. I left because of the children’s [00:56:55] future. I only really this is and this was the most important and most successful [00:57:00] decision I made from my life. Because they remain to be British, [00:57:05] I wanted them to adapt to the British culture and I wanted them [00:57:10] to make their future here, and I’m happy about that decision.

Speaker2: So when we came to London, [00:57:15] I remember us struggling a lot financially. I just remember that we couldn’t. Yes, as I said, afford [00:57:20] normal coke. We would go to Asda. I wasn’t allowed to buy like anything expensive [00:57:25] etc. and remember mum crying all the time and I remember being dragged around train stations [00:57:30] and like having to see my dad.

Speaker4: And now this is.

Speaker1: This is despite full employment, [00:57:35] the.

Speaker4: Nhs.

Speaker2: Why did we have such little money?

Speaker1: It’s just not enough. It’s not little money. [00:57:40] The salary isn’t enough. We are doctors are not well paid, I have to say. [00:57:45] And.

Speaker4: But this was worse back then.

Speaker1: Well, even now, I think, to be honest, [00:57:50] you know, you know, people do struggle. They have a regular job, regular salary, but they work very hard and [00:57:55] it’s never been enough.

Speaker2: And also my mum wasn’t working at the time. So what happened was, well.

Speaker1: Even [00:58:00] when she worked, she had to pay all her salary and even more in [00:58:05] for your private schooling.

Speaker2: So basically what happened was, is that my dad got offered by his friend a house [00:58:10] in Swiss Cottage and my dad said, okay, fine, we’ll go and like move in there. Mum couldn’t work [00:58:15] at the time because her degree wasn’t valid in the UK. She went to King’s College to see if she could like, revoke her degree. [00:58:20] And she was like, this is a joke. Like as in like the tray because she went, she’s a Berkeley graduate, [00:58:25] my mum. So my dad was like slogging it out to California. Yeah. My mum. Yeah. She has. [00:58:30]

Speaker1: A master’s degree from Berkeley in.

Speaker4: Nutrition. Yeah.

Speaker2: So then basically my dad ended up like working [00:58:35] really hard. Then we went to go visit the state schools and never forget around like Swiss cottage in that area. [00:58:40] Horrendous. Remember. And they were literally like people like like knifepoint. Like in the playground. [00:58:45] Well awful.

Speaker4: Yeah actually no no.

Speaker1: No, it’s not fair. We don’t know really. But you know, I [00:58:50] just said, listen, we can’t afford a private school.

Speaker2: Yeah. But we went and like, my [00:58:55] mum took one look and was like, this is not I’m not sending the kids here. It was really rough back then. It’s not like [00:59:00] it is now.

Speaker1: Rona, when I spoke to the administrator, she said, are you joking? You [00:59:05] want them to come this year? There’s a waiting list of about 2 to 3 years. You have to put your name down. [00:59:10] Yeah. And I said what I thought, you know, but, you know, inner London school is [00:59:15] inner London like any, like, inner New York like any other place. So that’s why people go and live.

Speaker3: We came [00:59:20] mid-year because of the revolution. Yeah. Iran. Yeah. No one would take us except.

Speaker1: Yes, [00:59:25] yes.

Speaker4: Catholic, but it’s still the same.

Speaker2: The Catholic school took us.

Speaker4: Yeah. They don’t listen. I mean, at.

Speaker1: The end, you know, Netanyahu [00:59:30] did go to Camden School for girls.

Speaker4: But, you know, so.

Speaker2: This is the interesting thing. So then what [00:59:35] happened was my mum was like, right, I can’t do this. So she got a job in retail. Was the Marie Claire at the time, her [00:59:40] first job.

Speaker4: A number of loads.

Speaker2: Of sales and.

Speaker4: Became a manager.

Speaker2: Every single bit of money [00:59:45] she got, she took, she put us to go to private school. The really. Thing was [00:59:50] though, is that like, this is so typical, they couldn’t afford to buy the uniform. You know how expensive private school uniform is, right? [00:59:55] So we had to buy it.

Speaker4: From the so expensive, so.

Speaker2: Expensive. We had to buy it from the charity [01:00:00] of the school basically. And then I got bullied from like the school kids [01:00:05] for having.

Speaker4: I don’t know.

Speaker2: Because they had like little holes in them and.

Speaker4: Stuff like that. So sorry [01:00:10] daddy. Don’t be.

Speaker2: Silly. But the point is that drove me because I so wanted [01:00:15] the kids and the parents of those kids to accept me, to see what I mean. So I was like, I’m going to make sure [01:00:20] that I work really hard and we’re not going to get to where, like, we can work really hard. But also my dad, [01:00:25] as I said, he wasn’t home much because he was doing all these shifts.

Speaker1: I was in tears all the time. You don’t know that [01:00:30] I was depressed and I was in tears. I just couldn’t believe it. Is that what I really aspire [01:00:35] to be? Honestly, a doctor with a membership and all this training I did [01:00:40] and I, you know, I just can’t. I haven’t got enough money. I mean, never mind holidays. [01:00:45] We had we had we had three stars and four stars. Holiday eventually you know, but [01:00:50] even the food I had to memorise how much everything on the shelf [01:00:55] at Asda, not even Waitrose, was a dream. You know, I couldn’t go to Waitrose, you know. [01:01:00] Anyway, so, you know, I had to. We struggled, but it was worth it [01:01:05] because it’s your home country. And I must admit, you know, I love this country. I think it gave me a lot [01:01:10] of strings. You know, the people are wonderful here.

Speaker2: But Payman obviously similarly. I mean, he came to the [01:01:15] UK a lot younger, but he came from where were you born? Revolution.

Speaker4: Iran. During the revolution.

Speaker1: Yeah. [01:01:20] Yeah. So you agree with me? This is a very welcoming country with a big heart.

Speaker3: Yeah, [01:01:25] yeah, I think I think the compared to a lot of Europe for instance. Yes. [01:01:30] People here are much more open, although, you know, these days.

Speaker4: There was but.

Speaker1: However [01:01:35] there was racism, there’s no doubt about it. You know, there was racism at the time. But nowadays [01:01:40] really, I think the younger generation are I mean, the whole country has made a U-turn better than many other [01:01:45] countries, you know, and my advice as well, they expect you to develop your own economy [01:01:50] as a person. In other words, you can’t just go to a British institution and get a top [01:01:55] job because, you know, the local also has worked very hard to reach that job. So I’ve learned that [01:02:00] at a later stage, as long as you look for yourself and become an entrepreneur and [01:02:05] add to the country, you’re fine. But if you want to find a job in a top position and you were [01:02:10] born abroad, it’s not fair for the locals.

Speaker3: I was at, um. You agree? Yeah, [01:02:15] I was at my. I think it’s changed a lot now. So I was I was on a collective in San Francisco. Yes. [01:02:20] And the dean of the university would take all the elective people to lunch. [01:02:25] And the dean was black and gay because it was South [01:02:30] San Francisco, right? Yes. And I remember and this was 94, 95, it was, you know, not [01:02:35] that many years ago. I remember thinking, there’s no way the dean of our dental school could [01:02:40] have been black or gay. Yeah, because it was it was a simple, you know, white man, [01:02:45] the, the kind of person. And but these days things have changed. Things have changed. [01:02:50] Interesting. And for the better. In that respect, I’d say.

Speaker2: So I wanted to say [01:02:55] so now that’s that. But obviously Payman wanted to get into that question. How did you end up in private [01:03:00] practice, and do you want to tell them about the shampoo business?

Speaker4: Yes.

Speaker1: I mean, at the end of the day, I [01:03:05] couldn’t go on and on like that. And because I have already left the system, the [01:03:10] medical system and moved abroad, nobody in the NHS was going to give me [01:03:15] a permanent post in London especially. That’s where I wanted to be. Can you.

Speaker2: Imagine? It’s like [01:03:20] a ladder. It’s like a little community.

Speaker4: Yes.

Speaker1: I mean, obviously those who stayed in the system, they were more [01:03:25] worthy of a permanent job and I wouldn’t have got a job in London. So I decided I’m [01:03:30] just going to give it another six months.

Speaker4: How old were you?

Speaker1: Uh, well, no, actually before that. [01:03:35] So. So at that time, I was about maybe 48, 49 and but but [01:03:40] I said, okay, the best way to be in the NHS and the money isn’t enough is to [01:03:45] try to develop your entrepreneurial skills and find [01:03:50] other business to do at the time when you’re off. And when was I off? I was off [01:03:55] from 6 p.m. till 8 a.m. the following day, every day, and I, I [01:04:00] was off 1 in 3 weekends at the time. So I said, well, I’m going to use that to just build another [01:04:05] business, get people to work and I can get extra money. All what I wanted really was another 20 [01:04:10] £30,000 on the side just to to keep our life going. So [01:04:15] I thought I went to a lot of, uh, exhibitions in [01:04:20] Olympia, in, in Wembley to get some ideas. And I decided since [01:04:25] I am a gynaecologist, I’m going to develop a cosmetic business for women. [01:04:30] So I went to a lab, but we developed our type of shampoo and conditioners [01:04:35] and all that, and I spent about a good six months going forwards and backwards to [01:04:40] a lab in Colchester. And as I went to the the now that the product [01:04:45] is finished now we’ve decided about everything. It’s a lot of hard work I. Tell your in business, [01:04:50] girls and boys and girls is not easy in business because you are competing [01:04:55] with big, big company, which I didn’t accept. I thought I will do even better [01:05:00] than them. Don’t be a fool.

Speaker2: We’ve all been there, right?

Speaker1: Don’t be a fool. Really. You’re not going to do better than [01:05:05] people who’ve been in the business for years, like Lancome and, you know, and all that. So. [01:05:10] And I went with the chequebook in my jacket to pay [01:05:15] the first consignment of 10,000 bottles. And [01:05:20] to my good luck, you will not believe it. The factory was closed by [01:05:25] Her Majesty’s order only. Really? That weekend they started to close it and. [01:05:30] And then they came running to me. They said, oh, don’t worry, we’ll find another lab. I said, when you find it, I pay. [01:05:35] I escaped just really by the hair. [01:05:40] By what? The expression.

Speaker3: By hair.

Speaker1: Yeah. Yeah, by. Just by. By. Anyway, [01:05:45] I escaped. However, I decided to give up the shampoo [01:05:50] then, and I was very lucky. And then I decided to look at other businesses. I said food, [01:05:55] and at that time, soups.

Speaker2: Do you remember that one? Was it Covent Garden soup? They [01:06:00] used to have the shops.

Speaker4: Yeah, soups.

Speaker1: Were coming up. But in fact I was really only the second [01:06:05] person in the country to think of soups as fast food. And I thought, I’m going to [01:06:10] squeeze in between McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken and [01:06:15] I’m going to make people eat healthy. Well, I didn’t realise that people don’t eat healthy. People [01:06:20] wants to feel full. That’s why I can thank you. Fried chicken and McDonald’s succeed [01:06:25] with due respect to the post institutions. And I developed the soups. And then [01:06:30] he said to me, no. And then I decided this time to take the advice [01:06:35] of a business consultant. And that is my advice to anybody who is listening before you [01:06:40] start a business and you agree. Rona.

Speaker4: Business consultant.

Speaker2: This [01:06:45] is what I said to you like Prav has been so invaluable. Like it’s so funny because Rolando, [01:06:50] my accountant, she’s like, so I don’t understand. She was like, it’s a business consultant, someone [01:06:55] that you call for, like a shoulder to cry. And I was like, well, he is my shoulders crying. I was like, but he’s also strategic. He’s [01:07:00] been through things like, do you know what I mean? I think it’s like invaluable. But I also advocate coaches [01:07:05] and all this. I had a love coach for my relationship, you know what I mean? I’ve had I [01:07:10] believe in yeah I love coach amazing. She was.

Speaker4: Brilliant.

Speaker1: You did very well with this [01:07:15] advice. So I went actually to a business consultant, not because I had the money to pay for a business [01:07:20] consultant for, for, uh, for uh, ten sessions. Actually, [01:07:25] the Labour government, the Labour government at that time offered [01:07:30] business advice for free for any project which is going to be turned over, over 100,000. [01:07:35] And of course, my soup business was going to turn over 100,000 because I [01:07:40] planned to have it all over the world. So I went to his my business plan and funnily [01:07:45] enough, also, I made the guy the business consultant, to sign a secrecy agreement. That’s how [01:07:50] much I believed in the soups. Anyway, he signed and then I gave him the idea [01:07:55] and then we kept working out the figures. The figures were terrible. After [01:08:00] the six sessions, he told me, you have 60% [01:08:05] chance that you will close after one year completely and [01:08:10] lose your capital of 100,000 initially of the equipments, the other 40%. [01:08:15] You only have 10% chance to make £60,000 a year, 10% [01:08:20] and the other 30%. My chances were to make £40,000 [01:08:25] a year at best, providing I work. I have experience at [01:08:30] a fast food restaurant like McDonald’s, me and my wife for six months, and then [01:08:35] I have to be prepared to work the first year plus of us minimum [01:08:40] 12 hours a day behind the counters for the business to take off. [01:08:45] And then he said, what about medicine? Are you have you lost [01:08:50] your license or anything? I said, not at all. I just wanted this on the side. She said, well, let’s [01:08:55] talk about medicine. And then he actually developed the whole idea that with [01:09:00] my skills I could open my own. Were you.

Speaker2: Scared to open on your.

Speaker4: Own? Very scared. Why do you think. [01:09:05]

Speaker2: Private practice scared you? Because I know that scares a lot of dentists.

Speaker1: Well, you know, listen, listen, I had commitments. [01:09:10] I had 4 or 5000 expenses coming out of of my. Or [01:09:15] actually, it wasn’t four and five star. It was about 3000 a month between mortgage, [01:09:20] you know, um, schooling, whatever expenses I had. And I said, where am I going to get this [01:09:25] regular salary? Regular salary really ties you up and you lose a lot of opportunity, [01:09:30] I have to say. So. And and obviously also a little bit of the NHS pension, it’s [01:09:35] fine. But then eventually I took up his idea. He designed [01:09:40] the logo for me. He actually gave me a strategy as well. I said I’m [01:09:45] going to give it six months and if it doesn’t work, I’m going to go back to the Middle East. Doctor with [01:09:50] within three months. Within three months, I [01:09:55] was earning more than what I was earning.

Speaker4: In private practice.

Speaker1: In private practice. Wow. [01:10:00] Three months.

Speaker2: But what how was how were you spreading the word at that time? Were you doing Google then or not there [01:10:05] yet?

Speaker4: There was no Google then.

Speaker1: There was only the Yellow Pages. And you have to wait your turn because it’s only [01:10:10] published once a year. And if you just missed it, bad luck. We used we used the [01:10:15] usual business strategies, you know, flyers into people’s homes, for example.

Speaker3: And was it fertility? [01:10:20]

Speaker4: No specific gynae? No, this was gynae.

Speaker1: It was a one stop gynaecological centre. [01:10:25] It still is because of the skills I had. You can have the ultrasound at the same time. [01:10:30] You can have blood tests almost at the same time. You know, we are we are a unique [01:10:35] clinic. Really, to be honest, you don’t have to to come back for follow ups. We give the results [01:10:40] by email. I don’t bring people back and we do the ultrasound at the same time. If [01:10:45] you need a colposcopy, you have it at the same time. So we were attractive and obviously the price [01:10:50] was less than most private hospitals. And also [01:10:55] the services were better than a lot. You have to have a best selling point. You can’t really have a [01:11:00] business successful without a better selling point. That’s what makes business more advanced. [01:11:05] And then I went to partnership because the only thing was missing is an IVF clinic. So I went [01:11:10] to partnership with my. How old are you colleague Doctor Gorgi? Yes, we opened in 2004, [01:11:15] but but we’ve been talking since 2002, so I was only about 50, [01:11:20] 52, 53.

Speaker2: But see how late dad started his private practice. [01:11:25]

Speaker1: So it’s never too late.

Speaker4: It’s never too late.

Speaker1: And I’m 77 and I don’t intend [01:11:30] to stop really completely, but obviously reduced my my sessions a little bit.

Speaker4: Yeah. [01:11:35]

Speaker2: So I want to talk a little bit about obviously fertility. So now you said the [01:11:40] average age of women having children in your clinic is 33 to 35 years.

Speaker4: Old in [01:11:45] this country.

Speaker2: In this country. Now, talk to me, first of all, from a biological perspective, [01:11:50] totally like factually, scientifically, what happens [01:11:55] to women’s fertility when they hit 30? Yes. And above. [01:12:00]

Speaker1: So women, when they reach adulthood, say 13, 14, [01:12:05] they have about a quarter of a million follicle and follicle contains [01:12:10] immature eggs inside, and only one of them come out each [01:12:15] month. So, you know, you do the math yourself. So by the time you reach 20, [01:12:20] you know, you had some reductions. And and the rate of reduction is very slow [01:12:25] until about 30. And then the curve starts to become steeper. [01:12:30] So you lose more eggs as the ovaries get older. I’m not talking about [01:12:35] women getting older now because the women are much younger now at an older age. [01:12:40] So you might feel young because you’re going to the gym and you’re keeping the heart and you’re keeping everything going. But [01:12:45] the ovary hasn’t got hasn’t evolved really to accustom to that. So [01:12:50] at 30 you lose more eggs between 30 and 35, then [01:12:55] 20 to 30. And after 35 the curve even becomes more [01:13:00] steeper. So between 35 and 40. Sorry, and I told you that [01:13:05] before 30. But it doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant, but you just lose, you know, more [01:13:10] eggs, they just die. They just become atrophied. But you still have eggs.

Speaker2: Can anyone do anything [01:13:15] to improve their egg quality and quantity later on in life? Can you do anything [01:13:20] or is it just the usual stuff like good diet, la la la?

Speaker1: No, nothing. Even diet? I cannot [01:13:25] tell you. The ovary.

Speaker4: Has it, so there’s no studies to.

Speaker1: Show its own cycles. No.

Speaker2: What about stress [01:13:30] though? Because we’ve there’s been a massive there has been studies to show [01:13:35] that a stress in general. Not like let’s talk about whatever.

Speaker4: Makes you age.

Speaker2: No. But also [01:13:40] stress has an implication on people’s ability to get pregnant. You know, some people say the moment [01:13:45] I. Stop stressing about it, I fell pregnant, do you see.

Speaker4: What I mean? Ah, but.

Speaker1: That’s. You’re talking about ovulation, [01:13:50] not ovarian ageing. Okay. Yes. Stress can affect a monthly ovulation. [01:13:55] You can have irregular periods due to stress because you’re not ovulating on a regular basis. So let’s [01:14:00] be clear. In order to to to have a regular period you have to have an egg coming [01:14:05] out, you know, in the middle of the month. So ovulation can be affected by stress but not ovarian ageing. [01:14:10] So when you reach there’s another complicating factor. So by the time you reach [01:14:15] 35 the egg quality and what I mean [01:14:20] by equality, you know, in order for the eggs to fertilise and make a human beings, you [01:14:25] know, you have 23 pairs of chromosomes. So these [01:14:30] 23 pairs have to split to become 23 single. So [01:14:35] when they unite with the man’s sperm’s also 23 singles, you make [01:14:40] 23 pairs a human being which is a mix of data. Mom. However, [01:14:45] when you when the ovarian ovary ages from 35 [01:14:50] onwards, that splitting of the chromosomes is not perfect. So [01:14:55] some chromosomes, especially 21, chromosome 18, chromosome 13, they [01:15:00] just stick, they continue to stick together. And you end up having one egg with [01:15:05] 24 chromosomes and one egg with 22 either [01:15:10] of them. When they unite with the with the partners or husband, [01:15:15] you end up with a 145 chromosome and 147 chromosome. [01:15:20] Both of them are abnormalities are abnormal children interesting.

Speaker2: Do you have statistics [01:15:25] on how many people nowadays are undergoing fertility treatment [01:15:30] within the UK? Do you know any stats like as in like how many people are having either IVF or egg [01:15:35] freezing or anything?

Speaker4: Not in my head.

Speaker1: Yes, I must say.

Speaker4: Egg.

Speaker3: Sorry, I decided enough. Egg [01:15:40] freezing is where you’re fertile. You’re going to save some eggs because you want to have kids later.

Speaker2: So let [01:15:45] me. So let me.

Speaker3: Ivf is not fertile, but you’re trying so.

Speaker2: So dad can go into this further. [01:15:50] But basically, when I was 32, he said to me, you’ve not had kids yet. You better think [01:15:55] about freezing your eggs. So he had a frank conversation. He said, because the the, um, quality [01:16:00] and quantity of your eggs is better early on than later on because a lot of women, they try to [01:16:05] freeze their eggs, as far as I know, 38, 39 and they can get like four eggs, right? Isn’t they [01:16:10] don’t get many at all, depending on each case. But the earlier you do it, from what I understand, [01:16:15] the better the outcome could be. So when I froze my eggs I found [01:16:20] it a very stressful experience. Like to be honest, Doctor George, who is my dad’s business [01:16:25] partner, he’s brilliant. He gets really high success rates. That’s why I like refer a lot of people, but [01:16:30] it’s a really emotional experience. The hormones, the hormones. I mean, [01:16:35] ask my dad. I was in tears, you know, the daily.

Speaker3: Injections.

Speaker2: Daily injections, and that was okay. But [01:16:40] for me, it was like they removed the eggs under sedation. They got 19 [01:16:45] eggs, 19 healthy eggs in one go. That was pretty good, you know.

Speaker4: Very good. Yeah.

Speaker2: And, [01:16:50] um, they’re they’re now in the bank. They are there. But you know what’s also hilarious, [01:16:55] which you again, can explain. You get charged for storage as a woman. No, but apparently [01:17:00] sperm doesn’t get charged for storage. Is that true?

Speaker1: No. If you want.

Speaker4: You know, listen. [01:17:05]

Speaker1: Storage needs a building, needs a freezer and needs people to monitor it. You have [01:17:10] to pay.

Speaker4: Yeah, so.

Speaker2: You have to pay the.

Speaker4: Storage. Of course.

Speaker3: Everything you have to pay for storage. Yes. [01:17:15]

Speaker2: Fine, fine. I’m spreading fake.

Speaker4: News.

Speaker1: Why why why store it then? If you don’t have a building.

Speaker4: Where would you store? [01:17:20]

Speaker2: And then IVF is when people have a problem conceiving a child. But [01:17:25] I think there’s loads of different problems that can happen. And again, dad can shed a light on it that people. [01:17:30] So there’s people that can get an embryo can be formed, but it doesn’t stick. So they get [01:17:35] miscarriages and there’s people that actually can’t get pregnant. So what’s your thoughts on that. [01:17:40] Like why are these numbers increasing?

Speaker1: I want to have a full stop. And then I come back.

Speaker4: Toilet. [01:17:45] Yeah sure.

Speaker1: Toilet and water as well.

Speaker4: Yeah okay okay. [01:17:50]

Speaker1: This is a normal tap.

Speaker5: No no no [01:17:55] don’t go to toilet. You [01:18:25] want something to go?

Speaker2: I’m all right. Thank you. He’s [01:18:30] so cute, isn’t he?

Speaker5: He’s sharp.

Speaker2: Can you believe he’s almost [01:18:35] 80?

Speaker5: He’s stronger than my mom.

Speaker3: Who’s 77.

Speaker2: Think [01:19:40] this is a really interesting one [01:19:45] because it’s quite it will give people quite a lot of facts as well. Because [01:19:50] so stressed, man, I got to get on with it and have a baby what, 37 now on Wednesday. [01:19:55] Yeah I know.

Speaker6: I’d like to go into. [01:20:00]

Speaker3: What would it mean to you if you didn’t? If you.

Speaker6: If you couldn’t have kids?

Speaker2: I [01:20:05] think I’ll talk to you about that openly.

Speaker5: Yeah.

Speaker2: Were you young? 28. About when? [01:20:10] Your kids.

Speaker5: How is it going so far?

Speaker2: It’s amazing. We just had. You’re so sharp and so amazing. [01:20:15]

Speaker1: And and I speak with a better accent. The one you keep mocking [01:20:20] me about.

Speaker2: I love your Egyptian, but can I just say, um. Do you. Are [01:20:25] you enjoying it?

Speaker4: Yes.

Speaker1: I mean, I enjoy it more when I see it. That’s excellent. I love [01:20:30] it, you know, it’s a memory as well.

Speaker2: Yeah, it is really good. But the [01:20:35] thing is, like, there’s also really interesting, like doctors and stuff doing all these podcasts. And [01:20:40] there’s one I told you, the gynae geek, she’s become very big now.

Speaker4: Because because. [01:20:45]

Speaker1: Of the podcasts.

Speaker2: And all the Instagram, you know how you said you trained her?

Speaker1: What’s her [01:20:50] name?

Speaker4: How [01:20:55] much you.

Speaker1: Have to pay for that session.

Speaker2: No payment. Does it for me for free.

Speaker4: Wow. [01:21:00]

Speaker2: Because we collaborate together.

Speaker1: But but generally speaking.

Speaker4: You know, there’s only 32.

Speaker1: Hours. How much you [01:21:05] cost.

Speaker2: What? To produce it. Yeah, I don’t know. You can ask.

Speaker1: Him. Yeah, but, [01:21:10] you know, I have Jessica’s husband who does it very cheap for me. 200. But, [01:21:15] you know, I can’t do it because I’m. I’m mainly doing terminations [01:21:20] now, you know.

Speaker2: Um, we have about [01:21:25] like half an hour, by the way. So we’ve got a few things to wrap up, but I want to. Uh Payman. This is [01:21:30] I don’t know.

Speaker4: This is I want to talk.

Speaker1: About, you know, egg, uh, ovarian reserve. It’s very [01:21:35] important. And also about the importance of egg freezing. Yeah. Okay. So we [01:21:40] we still. It’s carrying on. Yeah. Okay. So I really want to make a very important [01:21:45] point okay. So we already explained that the number of egg or [01:21:50] follicles contains immature eggs decreases every [01:21:55] year. Every year. So slowly until the age of 30 a little [01:22:00] bit steeper, 30 to 35 more steep from 35 to [01:22:05] 40 and from 40 onwards even worse. So by the time you reach the menopause, [01:22:10] there are hardly any, any eggs. So we call that egg attrition. [01:22:15] So everybody assumes I will be okay at 30, [01:22:20] 30, one, 32. I’m still okay, okay until 35. It’s [01:22:25] not true. But I don’t want to scare you. I have seen ovaries which [01:22:30] hardly contains any eggs or contain eggs equivalent [01:22:35] to the age of 38, and I’ve seen it at 25 years of age.

Speaker4: Wow. [01:22:40]

Speaker1: And as a result of seeing it. And that’s not only just by ultrasound. [01:22:45] Also there’s a blood test to monitor it called anti-mullerian hormone.

Speaker4: It’s AMH, [01:22:50] AMH mine was quite low.

Speaker2: That’s what Gorgui told me.

Speaker1: Well yours was borderline. It’s 12 was [01:22:55] okay still you know but but under ten and under 60 is worse. Um, so [01:23:00] my recommendation is that before you reach such a decision to delay your [01:23:05] pregnancy, have an ultrasound at the age check at the age of 25 [01:23:10] to check your ovarian reserve. And if it’s a lot and it’s fine and it’s absolutely normal, [01:23:15] I think you can leave it then safely at perhaps until 2830 [01:23:20] before you have another. But I strongly recommend from 30 to [01:23:25] 40 every year you monitor your ovarian reserve, just like an ovarian [01:23:30] health by ultrasound where we can where we observe [01:23:35] and count the number of eggs, as well as anti-mullerian hormones. And as long as they [01:23:40] are healthy, then you’re okay to wait. But once they start going down, then you [01:23:45] can seriously think, am I going to have a baby? Am I? Am I in a position to have [01:23:50] a baby? Or shall I freeze my eggs? Now? The advantage [01:23:55] of freezing your eggs early at a younger age is because the quality is [01:24:00] much better. So having 19 eggs at the age of [01:24:05] 35. Is not the same as having 19 [01:24:10] eggs at the age of 25, for example, because some of the eggs are [01:24:15] bound to be unhealthy, poor quality, and they may not fertilise. But [01:24:20] that’s fine. But 19 is better. Not only that, if you leave it until 35, the [01:24:25] number of follicles will be less. The number of eggs retrieved really for freezing [01:24:30] will be less. The quality will be less. So you can see you can see my point. So that’s [01:24:35] my advice as far as ovarian reserve. Just to summarise, an [01:24:40] ultrasound scan at 25, just to know that you are always following the normal care and [01:24:45] then 30 and from 30 onwards once a year, unless you decide to have a baby already. [01:24:50]

Speaker2: Do you know what is interesting actually? So there is a dentist. Lovely, lovely [01:24:55] one you know as well. And his wife was so grateful to me when I spoke openly [01:25:00] about my egg freezing. People weren’t talking about it that much online. I went out and was like, guys, I’ve just done this. And everyone was like, whoa! [01:25:05] And the reason was because they tried to have a baby when she was 32. They couldn’t. [01:25:10] And when they went to the doctor, she had early onset menopause. [01:25:15] Yeah, yeah. And then they got two eggs from her and [01:25:20] luckily one implanted and they had one. They are very lucky. One child and she only has one child at [01:25:25] 32.

Speaker3: I’m very interested to learn. Okay. We had the scientific side there. [01:25:30] But from a woman, the sort of the social side of numbers. [01:25:35] Now the question of the.

Speaker1: Ball is in your court now the.

Speaker3: The question of [01:25:40] what? How would it feel if someone told you you can’t have children? Number one, um, number [01:25:45] two, the process going through the process. And you said you said you had stress [01:25:50] or hormonal issues and then from yourself, you must have had to break it to people [01:25:55] that you can’t have children a million, a million times.

Speaker1: I never say that. Well, it’s a [01:26:00] wrong statement. Sure, sure.

Speaker4: Because I was going to ask that.

Speaker2: Why is it wrong statement?

Speaker4: Wrong statement?

Speaker1: Because we know [01:26:05] of sporadic rare pregnancies which happen even two years after the menopause. [01:26:10] Really? And the Family Planning Association is the oldest.

Speaker2: Recommend Gordon Ramsay’s wife, [01:26:15] huh? Gordon Ramsay’s wife got naturally pregnant at 47.

Speaker3: What’s the oldest pregnancy you know of?

Speaker1: As [01:26:20] I’ve seen at 47 and 48? 48 and spontaneous.

Speaker2: But [01:26:25] can I ask you something, though? Um. Do women. It must be a very difficult conversation. [01:26:30] Do they get offended in the clinic? If you advise them to think about having a kid soon, do they get offended? [01:26:35]

Speaker1: I had a complaint. I had a complaint. When I mentioned to somebody [01:26:40] I noticed the low ovarian reserve and I said, everything looks normal, but the number of eggs [01:26:45] is small. I mean, I’m obliged to tell her it’s a finding which I have to write. And, [01:26:50] uh, and, you know, if if you are really in a position [01:26:55] to have pregnancy, I think you should perhaps get on with it or monitor [01:27:00] to the future. But people really hear half of the words they triggered.

Speaker4: Yeah, but so [01:27:05] be complaint.

Speaker1: And by a famous journalist as well. Her, uh, her mother in law [01:27:10] is a famous journalist, I’ll tell you off the record after that, who achieved. But it’s just [01:27:15] it was terrible for me because here I tried to convey the facts, but [01:27:20] people get upset from the facts. And not only that, they complain, they make a complaint. So I had to spend [01:27:25] time to reply and explain.

Speaker2: Yeah, I think it’s like a really difficult one because I [01:27:30] think, like you said, more and more women, they want to delay having a child because [01:27:35] they are more career focussed. Also, I think that women have hired their standards from what [01:27:40] they expect from a man as well, because they bring a lot more to the table. Now they’re like, I [01:27:45] want to date someone that’s X, Y and Z. And then that all like delays the process. Now, [01:27:50] I think ideally, if I’m completely honest with you, I would have had a child by now. Already [01:27:55] I put like an onus onto my career, but also I’ve always been like a serial [01:28:00] monogamous. Do you see what I mean? And for whatever reason in the past, the relationship hasn’t [01:28:05] worked out in that way. And I was a very late bloomer, like my dad will tell you. Like, [01:28:10] as in like I was very focussed on, like my studies always had friends and stuff.

Speaker3: So you couldn’t have children. Yeah. [01:28:15] What would that mean?

Speaker2: I think there’s loads of options now and I’ve already like discussed this with my partner. Like if [01:28:20] I couldn’t have children now, naturally I’d number one try to use my eggs. If I couldn’t use my eggs, [01:28:25] then I’d go through IVF. If I couldn’t go through IVF, I’d consider a surrogate. I would even say that. Do you see [01:28:30] what I mean? You know. So, yes, but you know.

Speaker1: But some women, and to be honest, I think you may be one of them. [01:28:35] You’re not really, really hot about having a child. You just says this.

Speaker4: Because you’re [01:28:40] a career.

Speaker1: But you’re a career woman. You’re you have already married your career [01:28:45] and you’re enjoying it. You’re having a happy life. Is it important nowadays to have a child?

Speaker2: Yes. But [01:28:50] I think more so to you.

Speaker4: Yeah. Because this individual.

Speaker5: Makes a.

Speaker3: Very good point. Yeah.

Speaker4: An individual [01:28:55] it’s not.

Speaker3: All you had.

Speaker1: Nowadays.

Speaker4: Is motherhood. Yeah, yeah. So I went and.

Speaker3: Then someone said you [01:29:00] can’t have a child. Yeah. That would your purpose in life.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Speaker2: I mean I mean I had a.

Speaker4: Friend no longer.

Speaker1: The purpose [01:29:05] of life, you.

Speaker2: Know. Yeah, but. No, but. So now that I’m turning 37, I think I’m really [01:29:10] stressed about the fact that I haven’t had a child because I think that I would feel very upset. [01:29:15] This is like a personal thing I think I feel. Don’t worry, dad, you’ll be a granddad.

Speaker4: No.

Speaker2: It’s [01:29:20] like I think that. No, I would feel, I would feel I think it’s. But, you know, like two [01:29:25] of the girls, the message me saying oh, I’ve booked with Doctor Gorgui, one of them is a doctor. [01:29:30] She’s a doctor herself. And she was like messaging me. She was like, oh, I’ve got such bad depression at the moment because [01:29:35] I can’t find a partner and I’m doing all these like, night shifts.

Speaker4: And it.

Speaker2: Needn’t be tough.

Speaker4: It is. No, [01:29:40] it.

Speaker1: Needn’t be like that, to be honest. It is a life without children as well.

Speaker2: My dad always said to me [01:29:45] when I used to, because what happened to me was, is I went to university. I met someone when I was 22 years [01:29:50] old. We were together till I was 27. I thought I was going to get married to him. [01:29:55] My parents thought I was going to get married to him. And in my mind, because of the narrative which we’ve talked about, [01:30:00] I was like, oh, it’s cool. I’m not 30 yet, so I’m not off the shelf. We broke up. [01:30:05] Then I went into like, right, I have to try and find someone before I’m 30. Then I went [01:30:10] for like some of the wrong people, these alpha male narcissists. And then my dad turned around to me and he said, do you know [01:30:15] what? He goes better to be alone than with the wrong person.

Speaker5: Yeah, yeah. This look, this fear of.

Speaker3: Being left [01:30:20] on the shelf. Yeah.

Speaker5: Yeah, exactly.

Speaker3: It’s a funny one because I [01:30:25] come across some, some, you know, like just out of dental school now, out [01:30:30] looking for their husband, like people. I mean, is that how how real is that fear of being left [01:30:35] on the shelf?

Speaker2: I think it’s so real. But even like some of my closest friends, they got into depression because [01:30:40] they weren’t, like getting married or proposed to by 30 and they got into depression. But [01:30:45] I just think like 30, as I told you. However, when I said this online as well, people, men, [01:30:50] the Andrew Tate lovers were like, oh, of course no man wants a woman who’s 30. Her [01:30:55] run through rate is like massive, which is like hilarious because as we’ve just said, the [01:31:00] Gen Z girls arguably are way more like sexually empowered. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker3: Someone trying to get a [01:31:05] rise.

Speaker2: Out of you. Yeah, but I think I think like, I think it’s I think it’s very real. But I think it’s interesting, [01:31:10] dad, do a lot of people also women in your office express anxiety about [01:31:15] not finding the right partner?

Speaker4: Yes.

Speaker2: And having kids?

Speaker4: Not a lot.

Speaker1: But not as much as [01:31:20] it used to be. But you know, ten years ago was more common. I don’t see it often now.

Speaker4: Why [01:31:25] do you think somebody would?

Speaker3: Some someone doesn’t have a partner comes freezes their eggs.

Speaker2: No not necessarily. He’ll [01:31:30] see someone for a gynaecologist generally and then they’ll express he’s saying ten years [01:31:35] ago I’m really sad I don’t have anyone. Why do you think that’s reduced now?

Speaker1: Because a lot [01:31:40] of more women are career oriented.

Speaker2: So now they don’t care.

Speaker1: They tell me at 32 they come. [01:31:45] I just can’t have a child. Now. I’ve just really I’m just about to start to, [01:31:50] to to get a good job and, you know, be promoted company.

Speaker3: If you had a child at 30. [01:31:55]

Speaker1: Yeah.

Speaker4: And I’ve seen.

Speaker3: That for the last seven years would have happened do you.

Speaker2: Think? [01:32:00] I think I always think that I could balance it. I don’t know, maybe I’m being maybe you can, maybe you can. Yeah, [01:32:05] but look, look.

Speaker3: You wouldn’t be dispersed.

Speaker2: Look at some amazing people. Like within like [01:32:10] the dental and medical community. Look at Yusra, for example. Like she’s got like three kids. Do you see? I mean, and her own [01:32:15] clinic and her own. Do you see what I mean? There are women out there that do it.

Speaker3: It’s possible. I’m just saying you would not be the same [01:32:20] person at all. Yeah. Um, and okay, maybe a bit controversial. I don’t think you’d [01:32:25] be as successful as you’ve been. Really? When you’ve got a child, you’ve got a child to look after.

Speaker1: The problem in [01:32:30] this country is child care. Yeah, but. If you are. And that’s one [01:32:35] of the reasons we chose to have children in the Middle East, because you can easily have child care, child care, [01:32:40] drivers.

Speaker3: Nannies, gardeners, cooks for a.

Speaker1: Small fee.

Speaker2: So I want [01:32:45] to ask you, right. Like it was interesting because I’ve had a couple of patients in recently, about 32, 33. And [01:32:50] I say to them, any medical changes a lot now, I would say two out of five of my clients [01:32:55] are doing IVF at the moment when I check their medical history. And I said, they [01:33:00] said, it’s really weird. The doctor actually can’t find anything wrong. I menstruate, my husband, we [01:33:05] try having sex during ovulation. Um, we’ve been trying for two years. I can’t get pregnant. [01:33:10] And she goes, I’m doing my second round of IVF. So what I’m trying to say to you is something must be [01:33:15] going on beyond biological circumstances.

Speaker1: I don’t understand it yet. We call it idiopathic. [01:33:20] There are obviously reasons which are. That’s why I think.

Speaker4: Undergoing.

Speaker1: Research and immunology. [01:33:25] You know, Doctor Gorg is very hot on finding immune reasons. And there are [01:33:30] some mixed feelings in the society about immune immune problems [01:33:35] being a reason for infertility. He’s one of the very few in this country, in in London [01:33:40] who looks into these reasons. And he brings success when [01:33:45] somebody’s had ten failed IVF. Mhm. So there are some immune reasons but yet [01:33:50] it has to be proven as well in bigger studies and all that. There are some studies which shows it’s [01:33:55] yes, it improves fertility rate. There are some studies which say no it doesn’t.

Speaker3: I’m not sure [01:34:00] there’s more stress now than there was before.

Speaker4: No, no.

Speaker1: No, it’s not stress, stress.

Speaker5: Pollution.

Speaker3: Maybe, [01:34:05] you know, maybe processed foods or whatever that is, sleep or whatever. Um, [01:34:10] would you adopt.

Speaker2: So I think.

Speaker4: Excellent.

Speaker1: Excellent consideration [01:34:15] to adopt.

Speaker2: So it was interesting because I was having oh I have to bring Bianca on the podcast. Bianca is my best [01:34:20] friend. She told my dad that he was closest when we were 12 years old because she she wanted [01:34:25] to go when we were 13. She wanted to go to a rave in Kings Cross when Kings Cross was when I was 13. So you remember [01:34:30] Kings cross was like, we went to a place called Bagley’s and my dad dressed, dressed like little like. Yeah, [01:34:35] Bagley’s like dressed in these little mini skirts. And my dad was like, you are not getting out of this car. So she’s like, [01:34:40] Doctor Iskander, stop being cast. You know, classes. Imagine just because it was Kings Cross. [01:34:45]

Speaker3: Kings cross.

Speaker4: Was an.

Speaker1: Empty bed.

Speaker4: Land. Yeah.

Speaker5: A dodgy area with.

Speaker1: Drugs [01:34:50] and, you know, and we.

Speaker4: Were sex workers.

Speaker2: So anyway, Bianca is so [01:34:55] opinionated and she has made the conscious decision. She had said, I do not [01:35:00] want to have children. She made that from a young age. You know, I haven’t told you this about her. Like she just didn’t want [01:35:05] to. She wouldn’t mind me saying this. She’s an incredible psychotherapist. She was a journalist working in the Middle [01:35:10] East, has worked for loads of different places. He loves her lots, like she’s like a second daughter. But [01:35:15] interestingly, her sister had IVF with a donor [01:35:20] at 44. So she went to Greece. She got [01:35:25] a donor, chose a very handsome Dutch man. Whatever got implanted had the baby completely [01:35:30] healthy, fine. Second time round. She’s 46. [01:35:35] She couldn’t. The IVF didn’t work. So now she’s going to be adopting a child. Now, [01:35:40] I was having this conversation with Bianca and she turned around to me and she said, I think it was her partner that said, which I thought was a really interesting [01:35:45] point. He goes, human beings have such an obsession with passing on their [01:35:50] DNA and having a genetic.

Speaker4: Yes, of.

Speaker2: Course. And he goes, but it’s a weird obsession. And he gave an example [01:35:55] of his friends that tried to have a child for maybe ten years. [01:36:00] Couldn’t they got a surrogate? The surrogate had twins. [01:36:05] One of the babies had meningitis early and now is in a wheelchair. And [01:36:10] he said that their whole life has been dedicated to the child in the wheelchair. And he said, but their [01:36:15] obsession with trying to, like, fight the biology.

Speaker4: Yes.

Speaker2: Also was like hampered [01:36:20] them in the end. Does that make sense? But you could argue, obviously, that it’s been very fulfilling their life as [01:36:25] a result. You could argue it both ways. But the point is it’s a.

Speaker1: Very important point.

Speaker2: Yeah, it’s a very important point. But I don’t think I [01:36:30] necessarily want a child for my genetic DNA. I don’t even think about that. I [01:36:35] don’t want to lose the surname Iskander. I told you, because then after you, it’s gone. So I want to be Doctor Iskander. But [01:36:40] in terms of like for me, having a child is more about like that bond and [01:36:45] like having a human being that’s like you’re like someone you bring up [01:36:50] and someone that you look after and nourish. And yeah, I think that, you know, you could adopt. If I adopted, [01:36:55] though, I think I’d want someone that’s like a child that’s maybe really like opposite to me, as in like a completely [01:37:00] different, like culture and ethnicity. Like, I don’t know why I don’t know, I really don’t know. [01:37:05] I think I don’t know why. It’s just something that I was like, you know, like sometimes I meet children [01:37:10] that have been adopted and I don’t know, I just feel like you.

Speaker3: Insomuch as you don’t want it to be a secret [01:37:15] at all. You want it to be out.

Speaker2: Of out in the out in the open. Exactly. And people just know. But not [01:37:20] to get like not for people to give me praise or anything, but I’d want it to be.

Speaker3: I don’t want it to be a thing.

Speaker2: To be a thing [01:37:25] to hide. Correct.

Speaker3: How interesting.

Speaker2: How would you feel about adoption? Grandchildren? [01:37:30]

Speaker1: How do you know that your DNA is. Are half from me and half. Well, how do you know? [01:37:35] From me and your mom?

Speaker4: How do you mean?

Speaker2: I’ve been cheating on mum.

Speaker4: I mean, that’s how.

Speaker1: Does [01:37:40] anybody know what’s inside you? I mean, a child whom you actually [01:37:45] bring up from a young age is your child.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Speaker1: Does [01:37:50] anybody take a test from him and say, oh, I want to see who you are? [01:37:55] I mean, really, you don’t see. Well, I know.

Speaker3: I know several men who who say [01:38:00] they wouldn’t adopt.

Speaker1: Um, yeah. But I think, you know. But think about it. Really?

Speaker3: Yeah. No, I. [01:38:05]

Speaker1: Agree with you. Brought up a child so young and I agree with you. Adopted your environment and everything. What does [01:38:10] it matter about the DNA? I agree with.

Speaker3: You. I agree with you. But there is there’s an element of.

Speaker1: I know there.

Speaker3: Is. [01:38:15] Having kids is so hard anyway. Yes, yes. Having your own child is such a massive look. [01:38:20]

Speaker2: I think this is such a huge topic because also, for example, daddy, we had, um, someone who I’m seeing tomorrow, [01:38:25] we had an incredible man called, uh, John Lancaster on the podcast. He was born with Treacher Collins syndrome. [01:38:30] Do you know about Treacher Collins? No. So you have you’re born with certain features, [01:38:35] so you don’t have cheekbones, you don’t have ear bones, and you look very distinct. And [01:38:40] his parents didn’t know at the time because I don’t think the technology was available. So when he was born, they [01:38:45] gave him up for adoption two days later. And on the adoption paper, they wrote that the parents were horrified [01:38:50] by the child’s face. Imagine he saw that he grew up to be one of the most beautiful, kind, [01:38:55] incredible human beings in the world like us. Payman incredibly successful. He did a documentary. [01:39:00] He tried to find his parents when he reached 30 because he thought maybe they were young. They didn’t understand. He [01:39:05] tried to reconnect. They still didn’t want to have anything to do with him. However, the love that he [01:39:10] has and the bond that he has with his adopted mother is unbelievable.

Speaker4: Exactly.

Speaker2: And he considers [01:39:15] it to be his mother. Yeah. And I think.

Speaker1: Why did he have to worry about his, uh.

Speaker2: And [01:39:20] I think he’s. But he’s okay with it now.

Speaker4: I know he.

Speaker2: Is okay with it now, but I think, like the [01:39:25] point is, is that we all it is that love and bond. [01:39:30] But then on the other side of the spectrum, I have certain friends that have now [01:39:35] because we’re older, they meet people and they get into relationships. And the guy already has kids. [01:39:40] Yeah. Two kids, three kids. Yeah. It’s tough. Would you do tough? I’m [01:39:45] not sure. It really depends. And I always say, like, complicated. It’s complicated because [01:39:50] certain friends of mine, like, I’ve gone from living my best single life. I love this human. But [01:39:55] we have to now pick up the kids. We can’t go on holiday. It’s a lot to take on someone else’s. [01:40:00]

Speaker4: It is a lot. It is a lot. Yeah.

Speaker2: But then, is there a difference between taking on someone’s child, [01:40:05] as you said, where you’re being a step parent rather than when you’re a doctor? Do you see what I mean?

Speaker4: There [01:40:10] is there is a difference. There is a difference.

Speaker2: You see what I mean? Because you could argue.

Speaker4: That’s a massive.

Speaker2: Difference, because you could [01:40:15] argue being a step parent wasn’t necessarily choice, whereas an adoption is complete choice. [01:40:20] Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. We’re running out of time.

Speaker4: Just before we leave that point. [01:40:25]

Speaker1: Some people can accept an abnormal child and some people cannot. [01:40:30] It’s fine. I think both of them are correct. And to give it to a foster parents [01:40:35] who actually are happy to have a down syndrome baby is better than growing with two parents [01:40:40] who cannot physically look after a down syndrome. What do you think? They are both [01:40:45] just different. Kind of.

Speaker3: It’s an important question because now you can screen for down syndrome and you can you [01:40:50] can abort the kid, right? Yeah. And but then you also see.

Speaker2: Some beautiful down syndrome children. Yes [01:40:55] yes yes yes yes.

Speaker1: But some people cannot accept it.

Speaker3: It’s fine. I’ve had the situation where someone asking [01:41:00] me for advice. What should I do? Yeah, yeah. And and we have in Iran [01:41:05] I know of two down syndrome, uh, kids like in our, in our circle, [01:41:10] in our, in my direct community. And you’re right in that they’re [01:41:15] loving and so on. But the one thing that I was trying to impress on this person was that, [01:41:20] you know, it’s a once you’re gone, you have to worry about this kid. Yeah. So [01:41:25] understand that you could you can give your whole life to this kid. But but then once you’re finished, [01:41:30] once you’re gone, you there’s that worry of who looks after the kid now, which [01:41:35] a lot of people have with any child with a.

Speaker1: In Iran it’s a problem. But here the institutions [01:41:40] and the country looks after them very well still, and they are integrated into [01:41:45] society now. But you’re right, they are at a disadvantage. But it doesn’t mean I mean she.

Speaker3: Decided to abort [01:41:50] and, and, uh, you know, understandably difficult decision. It’s a difficult.

Speaker4: Decision. And [01:41:55] such a difficult decision. It is a difficult decision.

Speaker2: Um, I want to ask something else on the men, because I feel like this is not [01:42:00] talked about. A couple of my friends also had IVF, and it was turned out it was actually the man’s sperm. How common is it [01:42:05] for it to also be the man’s sperm? So she couldn’t get pregnant because there was something. The man was.

Speaker3: Infertile.

Speaker2: Yeah. So [01:42:10] it’s he’s not infertile, but there was nothing wrong with the motility or something like that.

Speaker1: I mean, it says it’s [01:42:15] a manufacture. The factory in the testes, which doesn’t function very well, doesn’t bring them. [01:42:20]

Speaker4: Are we seeing.

Speaker2: That it is also something that is being talked about. So men can also experience problems? [01:42:25]

Speaker4: Of course. Yes.

Speaker1: 15% of fertility problems are because of the men.

Speaker4: We know that. [01:42:30]

Speaker1: So it’s 1 in 6. It’s fine. And men in this country accepts it very well, [01:42:35] do they?

Speaker2: So do you feel so? I mean, as a man. And both of you can tell me [01:42:40] if you were told or that you had problems, your sperm as well.

Speaker1: Wouldn’t [01:42:45] have bothered me, and I would have been quite happy to have a sperm donor.

Speaker2: So is that the only [01:42:50] option? If you have sperm problems, or can you then or do then they do IVF.

Speaker1: It depends on the problem. [01:42:55] So some of them have problem in the whole formation. There is not one normal sperm. [01:43:00] The percentage of abnormal sperms in an ejaculate. [01:43:05] Just guess. Tell me what is? How many normal sperms in a normal ejaculate percentage? [01:43:10]

Speaker3: Abnormal.

Speaker1: Abnormal or abnormal? Normal. Let’s say normal. [01:43:15] How many do you expect to be normal?

Speaker3: 80%.

Speaker1: And you just [01:43:20] give a give a guess.

Speaker2: I’m just going to go with you 70.

Speaker1: Only 4% [01:43:25] are normal.

Speaker3: Oh. In a normal ejaculate.

Speaker1: In a normal ejaculate. Is that right? That’s the count. [01:43:30] 4 to 5%. Wow. 95% lack a head. [01:43:35] Lack a tail. No, absolutely. They can’t swim. Absolutely. That’s why they come out [01:43:40] in millions. And those ones don’t reach the egg because they can’t swim. So. [01:43:45] But 4% they manage. They are you know, the winner. You start the race for the [01:43:50] best sperm. From then from that time of ejaculation the best one will reach the egg. [01:43:55]

Speaker2: How would you feel if you were told that something was wrong with your sperm, and that was affecting [01:44:00] your ability to have a child? Yeah. How would you have reacted?

Speaker5: Uh, I.

Speaker3: Think at the time I’d be okay with [01:44:05] it, really. Not now, having had kids and so on. Now, in retrospect, it would would [01:44:10] be something more difficult. But I think at the time I would have either thought of [01:44:15] something a donor or, or I was actually, I’m actually up for people who say, [01:44:20] I don’t want children.

Speaker2: Well, Bianca’s one of them, I told you.

Speaker4: But listen.

Speaker1: I would have been very upset [01:44:25] if I didn’t have you. Yeah, imagine.

Speaker4: Imagine. But listen. [01:44:30] Imagine.

Speaker2: But I think, like, my dad’s incredible because he’s always been very open. [01:44:35] Um, my dad also had prostate cancer when he was, um. How old were you, daddy, when you had that [01:44:40] happened? Worst time of my life. It’s like I blocked.

Speaker4: It, you know, it’s.

Speaker1: In the early 60s, actually.

Speaker4: But it’s actually [01:44:45] 64, 65.

Speaker2: Um, it was, um, the prostate cancer. [01:44:50]

Speaker1: He early. It was early. It was precancerous, really.

Speaker4: Daddy was.

Speaker2: Type. It was stage two, [01:44:55] I remember. So this is how they get over it. You know, my mom was the same. Um, but [01:45:00] he said a lot of men are in denial about prostate cancer. It’s actually as [01:45:05] common I read somewhere as diabetes for men. It’s very, very common cancer. Yeah. [01:45:10] And a lot of men are in denial because the prostate is so, like, linked to, you know, [01:45:15] like manly hood or whatever. Virility. Yeah.

Speaker3: A lot of men don’t visit the doctor. [01:45:20] Yeah.

Speaker2: They don’t, and they ignore it.

Speaker1: Terrible about their health. We are just we don’t check as women. [01:45:25] And that’s why I decided to become a gynaecologist.

Speaker2: And, um. Yeah, [01:45:30] my dad actually, like, was very, like, open as in, like it didn’t ruin his life. He was like, this is what’s [01:45:35] happened to me. He had the surgery and you know, you got on with it. You got on with [01:45:40] it because you you just felt. And a lot of men won’t have the surgery, by the way, for their prostate. Because obviously, when this was going [01:45:45] on, a lot of men refused to have it.

Speaker1: Because, yes, I know because of the complications. Yeah.

Speaker2: You know, and. [01:45:50]

Speaker3: Doctor, do you know in if you’re looking at the psychology of, of fertility. [01:45:55]

Speaker1: Psychology.

Speaker3: Psychology.

Speaker5: Psychology.

Speaker3: That we have in cosmetic [01:46:00] dentistry, we’ve got there’s a, there’s a type of patient that’s like a body dysmorphic system. Yeah. [01:46:05] That that is looking for the cosmetic dentistry. But the.

Speaker5: Cosmetic a lot.

Speaker1: Of women will consider [01:46:10] it failure. Yeah. That they can’t have a child.

Speaker3: Yeah. Really.

Speaker1: So you have to be so sympathetic. [01:46:15] Empathetic, rather and supportive. Really? Yeah. And also never [01:46:20] lose hope. Never use the word that you. And it’s really, truly you can’t lose hope. Some [01:46:25] people even go and have IVF one, two, three cycles. It doesn’t succeed. [01:46:30] A year later they become pregnant.

Speaker4: Naturally.

Speaker1: Yeah, yeah. So really never give up hope at any, [01:46:35] any time.

Speaker3: What about what about the body dysmorphic syndrome person will [01:46:40] will will be blaming their, in this case their teeth for their happiness. [01:46:45] And whatever you do to their teeth, they’re not going to be happy. Yeah. Is there an equivalent [01:46:50] in fertility. Is that like someone who’s given the name to their pain, the fact they can’t have children and and is going [01:46:55] after it in as bad in a sort of crazy.

Speaker5: Way, they.

Speaker1: Get disappointed, that’s [01:47:00] all. And then nowadays they think of options of egg donation. So egg donation [01:47:05] is available now and a lot of people accept it. Just like sperm donation as well. Do a [01:47:10] lot in this country, obviously different cultures. You know, if you go for example, to the [01:47:15] to my Egyptian world or to the Gulf world, they would they would be very [01:47:20] upset. You’d be the man would be insulted in his masculinity and the woman in her femininity because that’s [01:47:25] their role. But as they become educated now, and I think they become.

Speaker4: Less one of. [01:47:30]

Speaker2: My beauticians who’s Iranian, who I’d been seeing for like 12 years, she sadly [01:47:35] could never get pregnant, and her husband became very abusive. Um, and [01:47:40] then she he ended up divorcing her because she never had children. But then later on, when tests were done, it turned out that [01:47:45] she doesn’t have a womb.

Speaker3: Yeah, doesn’t have a womb.

Speaker2: It’s never a womb in Iranian [01:47:50] culture. She was totally shamed for not being able to have children. But she was born. She was one of. Where she’s actually born.

Speaker4: Without [01:47:55] a womb. It’s not fair. She never had.

Speaker2: A period in her life. Yeah, right. We could go on for hours. We need to, [01:48:00] like, um, have you back on. I want to end the podcast because you’re always like my words [01:48:05] of wisdom. What’s one piece of advice that you would give to someone? Or what’s [01:48:10] the one piece of advice you could give your younger self, knowing what you know now?

Speaker1: My [01:48:15] younger self, myself.

Speaker2: So imagine you see now, Doctor Alex Iskandar [01:48:20] when he’s 20 years old, what would you tell him knowing what you know now about.

Speaker1: Yes, yes, [01:48:25] I think and I’ve told you that several times, stay focussed [01:48:30] as an early age. There’s nothing called. Oh, I’m just going to study this and then I’m going to find [01:48:35] out what I’m going to do. Focus. Decide what you want to do in life and work hard to [01:48:40] achieve your goal. And you must have a goal. If you don’t have a goal, then really [01:48:45] you could. You could waste a lot of years. So you must have a goal. You may be disappointed [01:48:50] you don’t reach your goal, but that will take you to other goals. You could reach as well on the [01:48:55] side, but you must have a goal and ambition in life. No ambitions means you [01:49:00] just become static and you leave it up to the world and to the circumstances [01:49:05] of the world. That’s my number one advice. Goal number two, you have to be [01:49:10] flexible in life at any stage. Had I not been flexible, I would [01:49:15] never have been successful. So my practice moved from one section of the things [01:49:20] I know to another section to the third section. I have modified it many times, pivoted [01:49:25] and same same with same in life in general. You just have to adapt.

Speaker1: So [01:49:30] if you can’t afford a certain a certain type of luxury, you just [01:49:35] have to downsize and then move upwards when you know, I’m sure you agree with that. If [01:49:40] you’re not flexible, you suffer as well. And I know people who had to even they [01:49:45] lost their house and they lived in government. I don’t want to say council, [01:49:50] but they lived in government houses. And then they made it again and they bought another property that [01:49:55] is life. As long as you keep going and you have and look after your health, I think. And I love [01:50:00] the young generation nowadays. They are so healthy all over the world. They go to [01:50:05] the gym. My generation, it was smoke and drinks [01:50:10] and style because we were marketed heavily by Hollywood. Yeah, so I could never [01:50:15] understand. They had a glass of whisky all the time. That’s why I drank whisky to keep in style. [01:50:20] Similarly with Marlboro and cans and a see through surgery. Do you remember nowadays [01:50:25] it’s actually a stigma and bravo for the government and the culture that [01:50:30] it has changed our perception of all these bad things. They are amazing. The new generation. [01:50:35]

Speaker5: On that.

Speaker3: Subject, I know, I know loads of 18 to 25 [01:50:40] year olds who don’t drink. Yeah, it’s a massive thing.

Speaker4: I know a lot of them.

Speaker3: And we went we went with with [01:50:45] one of them. Yeah, this guy was older but but he asked at the pub it was a pub. Normal pub said [01:50:50] what alcohol free lagers do you have. And they had six. Yeah. Not just one.

Speaker5: Six, [01:50:55] six.

Speaker3: Different types of alcohol free beer. Amazing.

Speaker4: Yeah.

Speaker1: Amazing. It’s become a thing. Health [01:51:00] is very important.

Speaker4: Yeah. I mean.

Speaker2: My dad can vouch for me. I’ve not been drinking.

Speaker4: Ever.

Speaker1: Ever. But [01:51:05] only because you’re lucky. You never liked it. Really? I mean, I tried to introduce [01:51:10] you in order. In order to become normal in a society, but, you know, [01:51:15] you are normal without drinks as well, you know?

Speaker2: Okay. Thank you so much, daddy.

Speaker4: It’s been a pleasure. It’s been [01:51:20] a real honour.

Speaker3: Thank you so much.

Speaker4: Thank you, thank you. Thanks for having me. All right. Thank you.


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