Inviting patients to appear as podcast guests is officially now a thing…

But there’s so much more to Waz Ashayer. 

The fitness influencer, entrepreneur, and soon-to-be TV personality talks candidly about his rise to success from a low point of substance misuse, addiction and depression. 

Enjoy! 

 

In This Episode

03.01 – Defining addiction

11.47 – The turning point

24.58 – Positive Vs negative addictions

28.29 – Modelling

32.46 – Advice to Waz’s younger self

38.25 – Go Hard or Go hard

43.13 – Influences and inspirations

 

About Waz Ashayer

Waz Ashayer is the founder of the pop-up fitness brand Raise LDN, described as the ‘fitness industry’s legal high’. 

He is the group fitness manager for Equinox and a trainer for the leading on-demand fitness app FIIT.

Waz is also a brand ambassador for many leading fitness brands. 

So if you’re not campaigning for yourself, you’re never going to win.

And were you in the public eye as you are now as much? I don’t know.

Yeah, you.

Were. I mean.

I don’t know if I’m in the public eye now.

Yes, he is. He’s going to be he’s going to be coy about this, but was also dated.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This is Mind Movers. Moving the conversation forward on mental health and optimisation for dental professionals. Your hosts, Rhona Eskander and Payman Langroudi.

Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Mind Movers. I’m so excited here today because I’ve got not only one of my patients, but also really, really good friends. Was Asher. Am I saying it right? The surname, by the way. Yeah.

Asher.

Asher. Cool. We’ll go with that. We’ll go with that. We’ll go with that. He is still a really good friend, guys. I knew that. And actually, I have to say, someone called me Rhonda the other day and I was like, Drop the D, Just drop the D. Rhonda. Rhonda, you remember.

How you introduced yourself to me?

Oh, what did I say?

He said, it’s like Corona, but with an R, Yes.

That’s the pretty unforgettable. So was is a really impressive person. I actually first came across him many years ago. He wouldn’t have known who I was, and I then got reintroduced to him last year by one of my very good friends, Sana, aka Sweat with Sana. I think she lost the sweat with, didn’t she? And she introduced me to was because he wanted to get his teeth done. And at the moment that we met we actually really clicked. But I’d actually heard of was story a long time before. And I say story because I believe everyone has a story and was had worked in nightlife for a long period of his life. He was heavily involved in doing bookings for celebrities and was really exposed to things in nightlife that people don’t necessarily talk about, but happens a lot. And one day he came out on a post on Instagram and I actually saw the Post and you talked about how you wanted to give that whole life up because you recognised that you had a problem with substances and you were, you know, you were an addict essentially. I know that word. A lot of people have negative connotations, but we shouldn’t because actually I think it’s a really brave thing to say and I think that most of us are addicts in something was then went on to change his life and became one of the biggest fitness influencers in his industry. Not only did he smash it, but he also became, I would say, head of Equinox. Is that your role? Head of Equinox? Can I say that?

I manage group.

Fitness Group Fitness.

Group Fitness for Equinox or Equinox. Equinox Equinox in America.

And really was has created a community which I think is one of the hardest things to do for a brand. And I would say if anyone wants to argue with me, they can. That one of the greatest successes of the business can be attributed to you because you’ve done such an amazing job at getting people to come in love fitness, and you’ve gone beyond that, created really amazing brand partnerships, deals, including Gymshark, and you continue to do that. You currently live in York now where you have been also building the brand out there. Had an amazing summer in the Hamptons. We’re going to ask you all these questions as well. And lastly, you are about to be featured on a BBC show, which is super exciting. I can’t wait to tune in. So that is my introduction for the lovely Wires, which is short for Waseem. Waseem, Waseem, fellow fellow Arab brethren. Yeah.

Welcome. Half, half Palestinian, half Irish.

A full terrorist.

There you go.

Lovely to have you. Us. I think the way we were thinking about you was it’s not often talked about, but addiction is actually quite huge in dentistry and medicine. But in sort of high stress jobs, we find that people get themselves into those sort of holes and there are functional addicts and, you know, many dentists are functional addicts, too. Maybe, maybe they’re drinking. I don’t know what the definition is of an alcoholic for the for the sake of the argument, but maybe you can help us. But maybe. Maybe the guy’s drinking a bottle, bottle of wine a night or something. Yeah.

What is an addict?

Yeah.

I think there’s there’s. When you when you say the word addict, you think of somebody that’s, you know, so, so visually off the scale. So you would see somebody, oh, they’re drunk, they’re an addict or oh, they’re, you know, they’re high. They’re, they’re an addict. But, um, you know, addiction can have, like, silent forms. And, and I think that’s the, the most deadliest form in the sense that if we look at it from an accumulative effect, you know, if you were to let’s just take let’s take it out of dentistry, let’s take it out of fitness. If you were just to have a drink on Monday, drink on Tuesday, say you rest Wednesday, two more drinks on the Thursday weekend comes, you know, five, five more drinks on the weekend, five more drinks on Sunday. If you add up how many drinks you’re having a week, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, up to Thursday. Doesn’t really seem like a problem. Right? People would think, oh, they go out on the weekend. But actually, if you look at the week as a cumulatively, you’re drinking all the time. Yeah. So it’s it’s adding up and what you know, I think that’s where my problem started is I worked in nightlife. I you know, in London every night it’s a night out. So I’d be going out is a big night in London Tuesdays. A big night. So, you know, it wouldn’t be as crazy as the weekends, but you’d still indulge. You’d indulge on Monday, you’d indulge on Tuesday, you’d indulge. So it probably is quite relevant to dentists, right? You’d you’d do a working week. You’d. Ramp-up to the weekend, but you’d still be indulging in like midweek or early week, I think. That’s like red flag number one is, you know, we’ve all heard of that person that’s clean during the week parties on the weekend. And I think that’s a bit more obvious and that’s the problem is a bit more local and central and we can sort that out. But I think the danger is when you’ve got somebody who just has no problem with it but is doing it cumulatively throughout the week because then it’s habitual.

Do you think it’s dependency as well, though? Like you’re depending on a substance to get you out of your feelings and your emotions and, you know, what do you think it’s that the addiction somehow entails you being dependent on something?

Yeah, I think, you know, you have to have an honest conversation with yourself. And I just I don’t think the body differentiates between good or bad habits. The body just knows habits. Right? So society determines peer groups determ determine, you know, if it’s good or bad. If I say I go to the gym all the time, oh, he’s really healthy. He goes to the gym all the time. If I smoke, you say, that’s bad. You just got a bad habit. He smokes. You know, really and truly, it’s you know, the gym could also be a bad habit, you know, if you could be overly obsessive. So my point is, take away, like good or bad, your body just knows habits. Yeah. So if you take. A habit away. So say if you stop smoking, your body is going to want to pick up something else because you’ve got all this unused time or all this. You know, quite a lot of people contributed to putting on weight or eating more because people are they just eat more. They don’t it’s not your body is just looking for something else to habitually do. And that might be eating, you know, it might be instead of bringing a cigarette to your mouth. So I just think you need to understand what habits you have and what you’re putting your actively, you know, consciously and subconsciously putting your time into and then trying to decipher, okay, what you know what? Where do where do I need to move the needle?

So as you said, an early red flag is when it’s spilling over into the week rather than just the weekend in your journey when, you know, it was. I guess it’s difficult, isn’t it, because it was work and you felt like you were going to work and you were being a good guy because you’re doing more work. But actually your work was in nightclubs and in that environment, what were the next sort of flags that started showing up?

I just I say like quality of environment. Like if if hindsight is a wonderful thing. Yeah. You know, but I think quality of environment and then that trickles into quality of people right around you. And I think once that starts to deteriorate, you may not see it immediately, but I can only talk from my own experience, but I would take the people that loved me for granted. I would, um, not really sort of have any care or thought to it because I just knew at the back of the head, they love me, you know, my parents, my brother, my, you know, etcetera, etcetera, even my best friends, you know. And then I would run around after people and try and seek sort of popularity validation. I just think whenever you’re taking any substance, drink, you know, drugs, anything in excess, it’s it’s it comes from a position of, you know, that you, you, you basically it’s a vulnerability, isn’t it? You take you’re taking so much of it. You’re you want to you’re not happy and you want to you want to escape. Escape. It’s an escapism.

Do you know what? It’s so interesting because actually addiction is something that really fascinates me as a topic. And I think I really hate the fact that as well as society, we stigmatise it. So I was reading this book called Dopamine, which I really recommend to anyone listening, and it’s written by a psychotherapist, and she talks about how we were heavily addicted society. So like you said, maybe like our parents generation or the older generation, do you think of somebody that’s like, I don’t know, living on the corner of a street or like addicted to heroin or alcohol? Like we have those connotations of people that don’t have their shit together, dare I say, okay. But now we recognise that pretty much some of us are addicted to things like we could be addicted to social media, right? We could be addicted to our phones.

I think that’s the most deadly one.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You know, I think that’s I think that’s that should be a be a conversation, a more vocal conversation because it ruins everything, you know. And it goes back to my original comment of a silent addiction. You know, gambling is another one. You know, gambling. I could be sat here with you now and everything’s accessible on a smartphone. I could be putting bets in losing all my money, you know, and and and ruining my life and ruining going back to that conversation, that quality of your environment. So the second flag, to answer your question is. Yeah. Your weekly your weekly, um, I don’t know schedule and then the second flag will be like the quality of your of your life or your environment and, and, and the downfall of that and, and recognising.

Where the addiction takes priority over other things and other things start spilling.

Away. Yeah. Like you might, you might start cancelling. I don’t know. It was something that you’ve, you’ve organised with your best friends you might and then you find yourself out until 4:00 in the morning somewhere or and it’s these if it’s done repetitively that’s that’s an issue if it’s done once in a blue moon once a month okay it’s you know it’s doable. But I just think when I was extremely unreliable, um, and for anyone listening out there that is in this position and you know, they they want any sort of advice on it, I really thought it was irreversible at the time. I thought, no one’s ever going to take me seriously. No one’s going to look at me and be like, But I tell you one thing that is so true is that you can change people’s opinion a lot quicker than you think. You know, when you’re talking about like, my rise to success or whatever success I’ve had in my given industry. But it you, you can’t be paralysed, you know, by the fear of of what somebody else thinks. And it’s like in that moment I was like, I get it. I know how it feels. In that moment, I was like, No one’s going to. They’re just going to look. Me as a as somebody who parties and drinks. And, you know, if I try and get straight, you know, they’re not going to take me seriously. You know, this this is what I’m this is what I’m dealing with. This is my reality. And I couldn’t be so far away from the truth.

So what was your turning point? Because as I said to you, I think it was extremely brave. I remember seeing that post. Yeah, I knew who he was. He didn’t know who I was just pointing pointing that out. And he and I saw the post and it was extremely, extremely brave. And I think that, you know, I’m very passionate about sharing your story online because I think you can reach a lot more people. And there’s something comforting as well, that when you put something so vulnerable and everyone comments on it or people give you support, you’re like, Wow, people understand what I’m going through because you keep it as a secret inside you for so long. So I think there is something really, you know, self-empowering in that. But what was your turning point and what pushed you then as well to kind of like go online and talk about it?

Maybe, maybe. What was your rock bottom? I mean, how bad did it get? So what were you.

So I’ll answer both the rock bottom bit was physically not wanting to be here. And I think like I’ll define that in the sense that. I didn’t want to people bracket that as suicide. Right. And it’s yeah, whilst there may have been suicide, I didn’t have the guts to commit suicide. So I think that’s that’s something that is, is you know, I want to be true about from the start it was more that I understood if I carried on, you know taking drugs in excess, I would, you know, my heart would stop beating and I wouldn’t be here anymore. So I think that was that was the goal, sadly. But that was the goal, um, in 2016. So I quit. In August 11th, 2016. That was the day I woke up and I decided to quit. I had tried to quit before and it was like, and then you’re tied to like social commitments, like something as stupid as like, how do you make an excuse, like, Oh, I’m seeing my twin brother or, you know, I’m going to somebody’s birthday? Birthdays were always, you know, it’s so-and-so’s birthday, you know, I’ll so I did like a hundred days before quit 50 days quit. I used to announce on social media platforms. Facebook was a bit more.

Of a thing, a bit.

More banging an Instagram at the time. Um, so you’d put your status up 50 days teetotal cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you’d wait for the comments to come in. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and I was doing it all for the wrong reasons, you know, you mentioned the comments and stuff. I never, I never posted. The post that you’re talking about still sits on my Instagram and I believe. It’s one that says I’m like 4 or 5 years sober. I’m now six years sober, and in August it will be seven. Um.

What was different that time where you stuck to it? What was it? You were doing it for the right reasons.

Well, so. So going back to that moment, I had gone out, I was. It was so low talking about that rock bottom bit. I’ve still got videos on my phone. Um. Well, I was videoing a message to my mum, my dad and my brother saying, I’m really sorry, you know, that I’m not here anymore. I just didn’t like my life, like crying my eyes out. And I still have that on my phone. Um, and it was so true. It was just such a horrible time. Like, I just. I literally wanted to not wake up and I just wanted to go to sleep. I felt like I had, like, a world of problems. Like, financially, I wasn’t okay, Um, because it’s expensive. Um, but, you know, and just again, going back to that quality of environment, I had crap people around me and you attract your vibe, right? And my vibe was low vibration. My, my vibe was low, my energy was low, and I was and I just wasn’t a decent human being. And I just was living a lie. And I just think that that, you know, I think people forget that you put so much pressure on the people that you love or people that love you. It’s not really about you. And people try to internalise it and they’re like, Oh, you know, my life’s so bad. And just think about it for one second. You take your life away. What what does that affect, you know, and what does that. So it was I think I was just sad. I was so sad that I just didn’t want to face anything. And I was just like, I just don’t want to be here anymore. And, you know, and I just I was just ill and I just needed help. So I tried to do it. I took, I think in total, like copious amounts of drugs. I didn’t actually wake up for about 2 to 3 days. Wow. So when I woke up, it was August 11th, 2016. Um, and I remember at the time I was living in this tiny, like one bedroom, like in Acton. Like, um.

You lived in the hood?

Yeah, man. No offence to anyone who lives in Acton, but it was not. It was not it was not.

Bougie now, but Mala.

Mala.

Mala babe. Yeah, it was not.

It was not popping in Acton back then. Um, and my room was a tip and just like, it just, it was, yeah, it was just, it was just filthy. I remember waking up, um, and I just. I was just so upset. I must have cried my eyes out and just sat. Sat there just like, sort of. And, and just sort of like, where do I go from here? And then at the time, there was a girl that was like, really important to me in my life. Um. And she said that she she was so concerned, she thought I was you know, I was going to I was obviously the next time I, I wasn’t going to be so lucky. So I think she. She actually threatened to tell my mum. Yeah. You know, cause my mum, I didn’t. I hadn’t told my mum anything. I sort of and I think, I think that’s the thing. I think people that are out there and again if you are listening, you feel like you’re on your own and you’re dealing with it on your own. And that is probably the case in the in the worst cases because you’re element of embarrassment as an element of, you know, like how do you even navigate that conversation with a parent or how do you navigate that conversation with a loved one? Um, I think just the threat in its own of telling my mum, my mum, just like.

So did your parents have no idea? Did your family.

Did your dad. My dad’s a bit street like my dad’s like, he’s very astute.

Pick up the Palestinians.

He’s probably doing it himself. Yeah, but but my mum is like my mum is just such a beautiful woman and she’s just like she’s so prim and proper and just, just she’s just amazing. And I just like, I just the thought of telling my mum was like.

So do you feel you were good at hiding it from people?

I think towards the end, everyone knew. Yeah, everyone knew internally within the industry. And I think going back to like dentistry and stuff, um. People know. I think that’s the other thing as well. I think you kid yourself and you’re like, Oh, I’ll run off to the toilet or I’ll do this or I’ll go outside and have a cigarette or I’ll go do it. It’s you’re not ahead. It’s all I’m going to tell you is you’re not ahead. You may think you’re cheating the system. You’re ahead of the system. You’re not ahead. I’ve got a saying like oil always rises above water, like the truth always comes out. So I just think that, like, if your moral compass is off and you think you can, you’re getting away with it and you get your kicks and your highs out of arm at work and I’ll do a, you know, I’ll do a do this to, you know, keep going or I’ll do I it’s like, just stop it.

Do you know, it’s it’s, you know, but no, but you know what I think is interesting? So obviously, like, I’ve been teetotal my whole life. For me, it wasn’t a big deal. I tried a little bit of alcohol when I was like 14. I was like, I don’t like it. Everyone was drinking around me then. Obviously as we got older, people started dabbling and stuff and I just didn’t like it. But it was weird words that I had this real understanding of myself. I was like, I have an addictive personality, and I saw that as my choice. I was like, So I actually don’t want to try anything because for me, I’m worried that I’m actually going to be an addict. And in some ways it’s been really good for me because I’m like really militant about getting stuff done. So I get really addicted to like my morning rituals or like things I do at work or a certain way that I am. But I just knew, like I was like, if I ever go down that route, there might not be any turning back. Now during uni, that was really hard because people were like, Oh, like they wanted to get drunk, you know, uni life, especially back then, like ten years ago, people like it was cool, Like everyone just wanted to get like, do not.

Drink at all.

At all. At all. And that was Leeds. Leeds up north. Sorry. Love you. Everyone up north. But you know, Leeds was a tough times for me, so people thought I was weird. And actually it would put people off talking to me. So, for example, like guys wouldn’t approach me because they knew I wasn’t drinking. So it was like that conversation breaker that they rely on. And so I started to like God. Is it really weird that I’m not doing anything? But I still stuck to it. Fast forward on ten years. Everyone’s now talking about sobriety and celebrating it. Last week I went to an event, Spencer Matthews So he’s also like spoken openly about the fact that he’s been teetotal for a while. He’s got clean co, you know, his new brand, and he stopped drinking as well because he just felt it made him make bad decisions. And it’s so funny because when I go to these events or when I’m out, I don’t drink. Like, how was I a I was like, I never went like, I just don’t drink.

So people ask me that all the time. They’re like, you know, did you do AA or CA or. Yeah. You know, Um, and I just first of all, I think it’s great that avenues like that exist and there is so much, there’s so much out there for people to get help. So I just think that that’s like just because I didn’t go down that path and I didn’t choose that that route, you know, to to my success doesn’t mean that that isn’t somebody else’s route. So I just think that, again, if you are listening, there is so many ways to do it. So I think that’s that’s point number one, is that there isn’t like there isn’t like this like this blueprint. It goes, if you do this, you’re going to be fine. You know, it’s so circumstantial. Some people need AA, some people need a sponsor. Other people need to dig deep and find some willpower. You know, other people need a peer group around them, like a blanket until they’re ready to be, you know, to be built up and have the confidence to go out on their own. Some people can never go out, you know. So it’s it’s it’s it’s like you got to look at your deck of cards and see what’s best for you.

What was best for you.

I probably got the strongest willpower. Like I if once I decide to do something and I decide and promise to do something to myself, that’s it. I just it’s non-negotiable. Like there’s no looking back. There’s no like, oh, can we. And that’s in every and I suppose that’s why I’m successful in what I do with fitness and in my own personal training and in my own, you know, I just there’s, there’s just this, there’s this deal that I make with myself, and it’s like, I’m not going to break that deal. So I just, you know, I’m resilient. And I just I always say for every excuse, there’s always like there’s always a reason. So for every single excuse, like, I mean, I did it yesterday. I know it sounds really stupid. I came, you know, and using my addictiveness to actually help my life. But I just I was on a train back from Liverpool. Um, and the train, the train train got in at, I don’t know, say, 7 p.m.. Right. I know the gym closed at nine. I was like mapping out how I could still get my workout in. And some people say that’s obsessive and stuff, but it’s not. It’s for me, it was just I made a deal that I was going to train that day. And it’s it’s I could have I could have come up with every excuse under the planet. It could have been like, oh, I’m tired. You know, I need to rest. You know, I could go and get some food. And I just there’s always going to be an excuse. So bringing it back to going sober, I just think that you’re always going to have.

A reason not.

To be sober. 100. But but for that, there will always be a reason to be sober. So I think. Did you have.

No peer group? No. No group? Nothing? No, no.

I actually worked in nightlife for two years sober.

Yeah. Yeah.

But so. So how did you.

Know other than just, like, blind? Sort of. So.

Well. So once I decided to quit. Yeah. My job was still. I didn’t quit my job. Yeah. So, you know, I still needed money, so. So I didn’t. I didn’t quit my job. I quit. I quit my, you know, my recreational behaviour. I, I think there’s an old, like, kind of Buddhist philosophy, like, to, to solve the problem. You must go into it. You can’t turn away from it. And that’s exactly what I did. Like, I would go to every after party, you know, sort out everybody’s drugs, give people cigarettes, give people drink, sit back, watch what effect it had on them. It’s really hard not to get involved. Okay. I do that again. I just I just put myself around the problem so many times that it just built immunity. It built immunity. But also there was a bit of like I saw what was going on. And then and then I was like, whoa. I was like, this is disgusting. This is this is who I am. Or I was more to the point.

But that was the thing about me going out, going out sober, as I was trying to say, is that I’ve always been around non sober people. So my awareness and I hate to use the word, but, you know, woo woo stuff, you know, I like my woo woo stuff. Energy doesn’t lie. And when I used to see certain energy, like you say, turn because I saw some I had there was no judgement, by the way, because I love going out all the time. And people around me, you know, they are on something, whether it’s alcohol or drugs, and it’s never bothered me. But you can see people turn in a certain way and like you said, you just you can tell like people might think they’re hiding it or that they’re not. But it doesn’t lie. However, carrying on from what you said, I’ve got a little bit of a challenging question. Would you say that you’ve replaced one addiction with another going into fitness?

Yeah, I think everybody I mean, yeah, is a great question. Not yeah I have but I just I think I think. A lot of people have said that because now I sit on the extreme end. Like if you look at anybody within the fitness industry, you know, I’m out training all the time. I can’t get enough of it. You know, I should probably rest sometimes when I’m training and I’m just I’m now on that end of the spectrum. Um, I think I think I answered it when I said, your body finds stuff to do when you get rid of one thing. I got rid of three things. You know, I got rid of drinking. I got rid of doing drugs. I got rid of smoking. I used to smoke 20 cigarettes a day. You know.

You go all on the same day.

You just just all on one day cold turkey, you know? And again, it’s like I had loads of I had loads of shots at doing it. You know, I said to you before I did 100 days, failed 150 days failed, you know. And my biggest problem with the previous attempts was I was doing it to tell people are day 150 talking about social media and comments and and it was like, yeah, you know, and I was expecting I wasn’t doing it for me. I mean, at the time I thought I was, but I wasn’t doing it for me. And it’s like, you, you, you have to have a real conversation with yourself. Like, you want the best for me, you want the best for me. But when you’re away from me, it’s like, that’s that’s when you’re susceptible to. Yeah. To do something right, wrong. So it’s you. You need to become stronger and you need to be like, you need to take accountability. Like everybody wants people to be, you know, to, to get to get off it and do well or everyone’s loved ones do. But you need to want it like you need to be the person that is like the lead charger on it. That is somebody that’s going to be like, you know, I’m campaigning for this. If you’re not campaigning for yourself, you’re never going to win.

Was there shame in it because you were in the public eye? Did you feel like.

I don’t I’ve never seen myself in the public eye. I’ve just. Have you not? No. No, I don’t think I am. I just think I’m just. I’m on that fitness guy.

Lies.

Lies.

He’s not your usual life fitness person.

No, I just. I think I’ve had a life of. I’ve worn many hats. I’ve done the nightlife stuff. I actually started doing modelling. So I did a modelling TV show in 2006 called Make Me a Supermodel. Lived. All right. Did you do well? Obviously not. I’m sat here I got. How far did you get? I was like a competition to win a contract with select models. So I ended up I didn’t win the show, but I got a contract with Select, um, modelled for years. Lived all around the world Paris and and and all, most of Europe and stuff. Greece and all those modelling cities basically did that for a while. Um, went into nightlife. Ran all the like the top bougie bars like PR stuff. Ended up doing whisky mist.

Do you remember.

That? He was the guy.

He was like the front of whisky mist.

And.

I’m going to get his number.

He’s going to be.

A useful number.

Just if anyone’s going to ask me. I don’t know anywhere to go. I still get a phone calls and messages from people really long, like, Hey, I’m in town and I’m like, Equinox banging party with bench presses. So, yeah, and then I did, um, I set up nightclubs abroad, you know, like I’ve done loads, I’ve done loads of stuff. And then I did, I sort of set up my own consultancy PR, um, with nightlife and celebrity hospitality. And I worked for Ciroc Vodka and did sort of, um, placement with artists and stuff at different venues. And, and then I qualified as a PC when I was 17 because I just loved fitness.

The stuff, the stuff you’ve done sounds like really fun stuff to do.

He loves that stuff. No, no.

But the question that we just did a shoot with with models and things and it’s a hard job. It’s not an easy job at all. Being. Being a model. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, of, of the stuff that you just mentioned, which which ones are things that you would think are, are, are as cool as they sound and which ones aren’t. None of it. Cuz it all sounds. It sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it? Live all over the world being a model. Nightclubs sounds pretty damn good I think.

I think here’s here’s a here’s a here’s a deal with modelling unless you’re like in the top 0.2%.

Bella Hadid.

David Gandy Yeah, yeah. Who’s such a good looking guy. Um, no. And a nice guy as well. But I just, um, it’s, it’s it’s peaks and troughs. Like you don’t get paid for, like, three months. You’re like, you’re going to castings constantly doing rejection, moving around. I wasn’t super successful in it.

How did you take the rejection, for instance?

Well, you just don’t hear about it. You just go to castings and they just won’t pick you. So it’s just like you’re constantly putting yourself up. Um. And I just. Yeah, I just I was never super successful. I did a lot of I did a lot of commercial stuff in there. I mean, I was successful, but I wasn’t like, I didn’t it didn’t it wasn’t I wasn’t a phenomena in it.

Yeah. Did that bother you?

I was 17 at the time.

But did it still bother.

You?

No, I think at the time it bothered me because it was like I always say, desperation, smells. And I believe that in anything, in any work or line of work, if you’re desperate, people don’t tend to warm to you. Yeah, that’s true. You know, and I think, you know, you you never get desperate if you can stay hungry but never get desperate. And I think that’s something that that I learnt from that because I, I always want to be the best. I always want to do the best I can. Um, and I think that that, that hunger is innately is within you or not. And I am that person. I want to, I want to perform to the maximum or otherwise I just don’t perform. And I think desperation smells and I think do not ever move like you’re starving, never move like you need this so bad. It’s like, what is this going to do for me? You know, and then align with it and then and then and go after it. If you don’t get it cool, go again. But you. You can’t be begging people and you can’t be moving around.

I mean, it’s a cliche, but if you did meet your 17 year old self, what advice would you have given to yourself?

Oh my God, I had the worst fashion. I mean, I still do. I’ve got the worst fashion sense in the world. That’s probably why I wasn’t successful. All like when it comes to gym, it’s like, you know, black on black on black like was black tops. I mean, I can barely put together a t shirt and jeans. I’m like the worst person on the planet. So I think what I thought was cool was not cool. Like I just straighten my hair. I used to have like coloured contacts. I used to have see through Air Force. Like, I mean, I was a mess.

But what.

Life advice would you give yourself if you were.

Like.

If you were meeting your like 17 year old self, apart from telling them you can’t dress?

Um, like I thought you meant it was to do with modelling. No, no.

But what would you tell them? Like in hindsight, would the stuff that you’ve learnt because you’ve obviously learnt a lot more than most people our age. Let’s be honest.

Um, what would I say? Just just like, stop trying to please other people, you know, like I think. And if you look at the things I did, hospitality and all that sort of stuff is catering for other people. I had this burning sensation to be loved and liked.

Do you think that’s gone away?

Don’t think it ever goes away. I think it’s your you need to you need to manage that and you need to get to a level where you don’t care. That’s like the Holy Grail, right? It’s getting to a position where you move without thought of others in in the nicest way possible. So you, you, you put yourself first and you, you, you’re not malleable to your environment and I think I was super malleable.

Do you think Rhona the you’ve got dentists right who who are in a way you are the ways of dentists. Right. I love that. And you are in a way. Right. You’re well known. You’re out there. You know, we were talking about judgement before and we’ve discussed the thing about your biggest strength being your biggest weakness as well, right? So you’re highly ambitious. So that’s a great thing. But sometimes that can lead to like competitive stress or whatever. Yeah, but do you think that there’s something about the two of you that’s different to the average person who, you know, doesn’t even want to put a post up on Instagram in case their auntie thinks it’s not?

The thing is, I’ve had those thoughts before. I mean, I love it. I love the fact that you think memoirs are special, but we’re not. Um, the other thing. The thing is, I think there is something to be said for people that want to put themselves out there. I think there are some people that are like inherently quite introverted, like my sister is a confident person, but she doesn’t necessarily like like eyes on her. Does that make sense by character? As a child, you would find me like pushing her out the way, being like, Dad, take a video of me. I didn’t mind the camera on me. And I think that was something about like being a performer in a way, or being like in the creative. And I’d argue as is the same like I’ve seen him in his work environment. But for me personally, the validation thing doesn’t go away. I do still care what people thinks. The place that he may have got out because of what he’s been through, he said, You know, it’s about a place where you feel like you’re almost bullet-proof essentially, is what you’re saying. I’m not there yet.

I’m definitely not there. You know, I’m I’m definitely not there. I think I think, you know, to to sort of go back over that is that that’s to me, that’s like the Holy Grail, right? So to get to that position and I think you you have to believe like you have to believe in numero uno. You have to believe in yourself. Right? Any time. Had any short fallings like you’re talking about not posting or something stopping you from doing something, you know, and I know social media is a massive thing for dentists now, and that’s how they accumulate a lot of their work. If when you believe anything is possible, anything you have to believe. No. One, you got you know, if you’ve got two hands, you’ve got two legs, you’ve got you’re, you’re like you’re like me. You’re no different. We’re all the same.

You know.

You’re able to get up there, work, do everything that no one no one is special. Right. And I just want to I just want to make that really clear. It’s like it’s hard work. And there has to be a mirrored sacrifice. People always look at like, Oh yeah, this person is so successful. I want to do that. But it’s like they don’t look at like what that person has done leading up to that moment. And I think that is the problem with the generation now, is that people will look at people that have achieved success and they’ll go, Well, I want that. That’s great. It’s great. That person inspires you. It’s great that you aspire to be like that. Go and find out how that person got there. And that’s what people aren’t doing. People aren’t going back to their bad, you know? Where did you start off with your dentist dentist career? You know, you were you were renting a room, probably.

Yeah.

But I mean, it’s so much more than that. Like, we don’t even have time to go on my story. That’s a whole podcast on its own. Um, but the thing is that what I will say is there are a lot of young dentists out there and they do look up to the social media, dentists or the ones and they don’t understand the story and they don’t want to do the grit and the grime. Do you know what I mean? Like, I worked really hard, horrible working life for eight years on the NHS. I went through periods of barely earning any money. I sacrificed, I spent money on courses I built. I had sweat, blood and tears. But they don’t know that and they don’t even want to learn the stuff, the basics. They’re like, Oh, I want to do the veneers and the bonding straight out of uni, you know? So I think that’s things to be said for that. So for me, it’s really important that people understand. Like you said, the story now was tell us a little bit as much as you can about the show that you’re about to be on. How did you get approached to it? How do you feel about it coming out?

Um, the show is on BBC three. It’ll be on BBC iPlayer. It comes out February 19th. Um, what’s it called? It is called Go Hard or Go Hard. No, no, no, no. It’s called Go Go Hard or Go Home.

So fitting for me. Um.

So, yeah, it’s. It’s. They’ve taken eight sort of athletes or warriors, um, that all have a nice background story. Um, I’m one of them. So there’s four guys. Four girls. Um, you’ve got Olympic athletes on their medal winning Olympic athletes. You’ve got like MMA fighter, you’ve got some like professional footballers and you’ve got all, all sorts mix mix of people, celebrity, personal trainer. Um, and each of us have got a story. So you guys obviously know my story or some of it. Um, and then they’ve got trainees that we’re on the island, trainees come to the island. We filmed it in the Dominican Republic, which was quite nice. And then the trainees are out there and these are young sort of adolescent kids or like teenagers that have like really had some big issues in their life. And we use fitness and pioneer fitness to like change their life. And we train them. We get given a trainee, we train them and get them to compete against each other on the island, um, without giving too much away. So it’s like a competition for them. Um, and I would just say one thing, it does change their lives and it’s like it’s powerful to be a part of that. Um, it was an honour to be part of the team as well, like part of the Warrior team. Some really, really interesting people there. And just like I’m all about learning and I just think that like, I’m sure it’s like when great dentists get together and they, they chat and, and and there you go. And they and they but it’s true. And then you create stuff which you’re creating now.

But I think one of the most beautiful things in the world I think is giving or passing on your knowledge to help shape. And we have that a lot in dentistry where like an older mentor sees like someone that they helped, like kind of like harness their skills and then they watch them, like you said, change someone’s life. Someone taught me how to do what I’m doing, you know, like the impact that it has. And it’s a beautiful thing. So it really is.

Yeah. Well, you know, exercise can get you dopamine highs and serotonin highs and all that. Were you doing any exercise while while you were also partying or were they too all the time?

Oh, were you? All the time? Yeah, I was. I just like and that’s what I’m saying. People always. So I know you ask that question to me earlier. Did you replace one for the other? It was already in existence. I loved working out. Working out for me was like, I didn’t know what day it is. I don’t know what time it is. It’s like meditation. It was like, yeah. And I just like, I just love it. Like, I just love being in that position. And it’s a gift. It’s like it’s, it’s, it’s. You’re blessed to be able to move your body, you know, like movement. If everyone says this, but movement is medicine for your body and it’s it doesn’t have to be in a gym. You know.

People dancing.

People people are like gym gym they think they think as soon as you say, you know, exercise, people like gym. It’s like, I love the gym. Right? But there’s so many forms of exercise walking, getting up and walking in the morning. You’d be surprised what it can do for you. And I just think that, like, there’s so many, so much available for you and you might discover this is what I love about fitness is you might discover something that you love. Something be that you’re really good at and you just wouldn’t know unless you put yourself in that position. So I just think that that for me is the beauty of fitness. But the.

Motivation. Have you heard Gary V what he says about love? Gary V Yeah, but what he says about this that, you know, to have a private trainer, what they call it, a personal trainer, personal trainer, um, part of it the motivation wise is to, to go and make sure you turn up for them.

I love my personal.

Trainer, you say, but the accountability piece, like some people like me, for instance.

Yeah, yeah, you’re lazy.

It’s not that I will do anything for someone else, not for myself. Yeah. Yeah. So for me, that would be the way to do it. To be.

But, but, but that may be how you get into it. But you need to flip the script. Yeah. Because no one’s got you. Like you. Yeah.

Yeah. It’s what. It’s what you were saying.

And self care is self love.

Self care is self.

Everyone goes away at the end of the day and you’re left with your own thoughts and it’s like I just, you you have to put yourself first. I mean, I.

Sometimes think about it. Yeah. Sometimes go, you know, get on a plane, go to the, you know, somewhere six hours away for a for a party. Yeah. So for the right, for the right thing, I will do difficult stuff. He would have.

Been there back in your Ciroc.

Days. He would have been there. So we have loved having was here today.

Yeah. Thank you so.

Much for such.

An inspiring, wonderful human being. I like to ask each guest guest a question, so I’m going to leave it on that note. Who was the biggest influence in your life and why?

Who was not prepared for that on purpose? Um, in my that I’ve met as in like a real.

Anyone you want.

Anyone you want biggest influence can be Elvis Presley if you want anyone.

The biggest influence.

I just.

I’m like.

When you’re a.

Twin. I think there’s there’s something really special about that. And I and my brother lives in LA, but up until the age of trying to think of what time we separated up until the age.

Of.

I don’t want to say teens you we were in bunk beds together we like and it’s like he’s super successful and he’s like the opposite of me. I’m like extrovert. He’s introvert. He like, he played rugby for Ireland. I played hockey for England. Like.

Like.

Like he. Are you.

Identical? He’s.

No, no, no, no, no.

He’s Ginger. He’s Ginger.

Um, and then that’s the half Irish.

He’s the Irish. You’re the Palestinian. Yeah.

Yeah.

And it’s like he drank Stella. I used to drink mojitos. He had a shaved head I used straighteners. So it was like he, he’s not on social media. I am like, he’s just we’re just so different and I just my, he’s always been like my anchor. Like my, my, my grounding. Like, I always think that you can go back to that person and they’re they they I don’t know they just get rid of all the noise and the fluff and you can have real conversation with somebody. And he he’s always been when you’re a twin, you always have that and I’m so grateful for that. So like and in terms of inspiring me and most inspirational person, he is so successful and you wouldn’t even know and unless I told you so, I’m going to tell you. But he is first assistant director on on massive Hollywood films. Amazing. Um, and he but he’s just he’s so under the radar and what he cares about in life. I just. I could learn so much from him. Um, and he’s just so interpersonal. He gets on with everybody from the age of like four all the way up to 90. And I think when you’re in industries like fitness or dentistry, you’re so switched on to your target market and interacting with just those people. And he is just such a people person and he will he’s the type of person that will cross the old lady across the road. He’d talk to the little kids. He’s just he’s just had a had a baby as well. But he his priorities are so right in life. Um, he’s just had a baby, like I said, and his and his partner and stuff. And I just, I look at who he is as a person and I just think he’s very wholesome. And I just think he’s, he’s just someone that I look up to.

Amazing.

That’s beautiful.

That is beautiful. Thank you so much. Was and thank you for being so open because I remember us discussing and we, you know, we both agree this is something that doesn’t define you anymore. But I know it’s going to reach a lot of people and help them. So thank you so much. Thank you.

Imagine signing up to be the chief dental officer of a remote (and very cold) island nation you’d never even set foot on and knew nothing about.

That’s the position Amin Aminian found himself in when stepping into the role of chief dental officer of the Falkland Islands, where a relaxed diary allowed him to spend time honing his practice.

In this week’s episode, Amin reveals how this came to be. He also discusses returning to UK shores to set up one of the Northwest’s busiest referral clinics and the mindset, training and aptitude required for excellence.

Enjoy!    

 

In This Episode

06.17 – Discovering dentistry

10.33 – Dental school and Liverpool

16.16 – First job

20.26 – The Falklands

28.24 – Becoming a specialist and a principal

33.19 – Advice on specialism and training

38.12 – Clinical challenges, rehabilitation, and pricing

49.05 – Confidence, humility, and excellence

57.22 – The patient journey

01.00.58 – Clinic 334

01.05.23 – Rapport and trust

01.15.41 – Black box thinking

01.20.57 – Analogue Vs digital dentistry

01.26.31 – Exiting

01.34.20 – Work ethic, leisure time, and daily routine

01.42.46 – Best days, worst days

01.44.51 – Training abroad

01.46.24 – Fantasy podcast and dinner party guests

01.49.06 – Last days and legacy

 

About Amin Aminian

Amin Aminian is a specialist prosthodontist and principal dentist at Manchester-based Clinic 334 referrals practice. 

Amin is a former senior lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire and visiting lecturer on Birmingham University’s Advanced General Practice masters programme.

He is an honorary teaching fellow at Manchester University Dental Hospital and has also spent a year as the Falkland Islands’ Chief Dental Officer.

And also inspiration. And we’ve not done this before, but it is the only way I can see for us to get around this problem and if nothing else will have a plan B and then we’ll have a plan C and that tends to be enough for them. But as said before, you know, to do that, you need to be bold sometimes. And the current climate in clinical dentistry doesn’t allow for that. It doesn’t allow for people to just I don’t like to use the phrase have a go dentistry because having a go suggests a bit of recklessness. But you need to be bold and you need to be able to say, okay, I’m going to give myself the kit. I’m going to give myself the time. I’m going to choose the right patient and I’m going to just go beyond that comfort zone, because the alternative is you’re going to be practising the same way in your 25th year as you were in your in your in your first year. And that’s a real shame.

This is Dental Leaders the podcast where you get to go one on one with emerging leaders in dentistry. Your hosts, Payman, Langroudi and Prav Solanki.

It gives me great pleasure to welcome Amin Aminian onto the podcast, one of my heroes in dentistry for lots of reasons. The main one is that lots of people don’t know Amin Armenian and the people who do know him think he’s the best. He’s amazing. And I often think what would have happened if you had a big Instagram presence and you were out there, but but one of the reasons I was so so look up to you is a very modest person who’s one of the nicest guys I’ve come across in dentistry. And yet his reputation precedes him. Like people really, really around the Manchester area. People really, really do respect your work. So it’s a pleasure to have you. Amin Payman.

Thank you so much. I appreciate the invite. Now we met. Whatever I tell you, when it was, it was about 12 years ago, I think we’d been in our practice a year when you when we worked together at the composite course for the Masters. Manchester? Yeah. 70 odd people in the room. It was. It was bonkers. But thank you so much. Thank you. I really do appreciate this invite.

So, I mean, you’ve you’re the principal and the founder of Clinic 334, which is a purely referral based practice. Is that right? What percentage of your work is referral based?

Oh, man. Nowadays I think we’ve whittled it down to about 99.9% now. The I inherited a very small group from one of my predecessors who I’ll probably mention at some point over our chat, David Eldridge, and there were probably a handful that followed me from other practices, but it’s all pretty much referral now. The systems, believe it or not, are quite different between a referral setup and a general setup. In a general setup, we need the recall program. We need the on call service. That’s quite different to a referral setup. So the two I find don’t mix particularly well. So over time we’ve asked our general patients to join local practices that we’ve been able to recommend and focus more on the referral cases.

So look, this show we tend to talk about sort of from the beginning to the end, where did you grow up and all of that? But sometimes I find I don’t end up asking the key question I want to ask. So I tend to now start with a key question I want to ask. And it really is around that question of why are you so low profile? Is it on purpose or by mistake? I mean.

Do you know what? It’s funny. I think you’ll probably find that as we chat, I’m so contradicted over so many, contradict myself in so many things. And one of those things is my approach to social media. And I honestly think if we were setting up now, I’d have to we’d have to embrace it. There’s no way of developing any kind of referral base. But, you know, we were lucky. We’re low profile because we appeal to local practitioners. We do it through the courses. We run through study clubs of the practice, through word of mouth. So we’ve not spent a penny on marketing over the 15 years. And, you know, I can’t say to you and say our model works. All I look at is not not don’t look at turnover. All I look at is, is number of referrals. And if they are increasing, that’s a good sign. If they are decreasing, then obviously that’s something to look at whether take patients, take up treatments or not. You can’t control that. You can’t control what’s happening in the wider economy. But for me, the marker is referrals and as we’ve included more colleagues and more specialities and, you know, none of us have any kind of presence. I mean, James D’Arcy, a brilliant guy at our place, I think he does a bit on Instagram, but we rely on word of mouth. For me, there’s nothing better than a patient who’s had treatments, who will then talk to one of their friends and their friends will want to be seen by us and we won’t see anyone unless they’ve been referred. And that friend will have to go to their dentist and ask for a referral. Well, get referred in. We hopefully do the treatment to a really good standard. And then if we’ve kind of every step really looked after that patient, then we’ll hopefully get another referral. So it’s slow, man, It’s slow. And you know, there are times where we drop the ball, but on the whole I think we’re, we’re pretty good at it.

Yeah. As I say, your, your reputation is really beautiful. I mean, it’s golden and I spend quite a lot of time in that way with the course. The mini spa maker and I obviously meet dentists from there and yeah, it sounds like it sounds like. Sounds like you’re doing something right.

That’s very kind. But I’m also hoping the reputation is of the practice. You know, it’s not just just of myself. And and if it’s the practice, it’s one of the reasons I was keen to have this kind of chat with you is that I don’t often get the chance to talk about the team that we have at our place. They are just incredible across the board, clinical, non-clinical, but I’d like to think we all, we all try and do the same thing. We all try and look after our patients to the to the nth degree. Sometimes it works. Occasionally it doesn’t. But I’d like to think that if anyone is talking about our setup, it’s because they know their patients are going to be well looked after. And if that means, you know, if that’s the the bar that I set at the beginning, then yeah, I’ll take credit for that. But then everyone else has to kind of work to maintain that.

Amazing. Take me back. Take me back to the first time you thought I want to be a dentist.

Oh, man. I was 14, 15 and a family friend. So similar to a group of my group of friends that I hung around with at dental school. You know, we didn’t follow the the family line. We didn’t, you know, there was no one in our family that had done dentistry. I was kind of clueless, went and spent some time observing at a local practice and thought, this is Ace, this is good. Where were you?

Which town were you in as a kid? Sheffield.

Sheffield, Yeah. Yeah. Went to school in Sheffield at the time. Still would have given anything up until a couple of years ago. Would have given anything to play football. But yeah, so it was it was a it was an aim. I didn’t know much about it. It was only a week that I spent there and didn’t really pay. You know, you don’t realise that at that time, you know, as much as you’re observing. I wasn’t particularly looking into how that that practice was working, how what dentistry really involved was. I was sat there observing and just loved, loved the dynamic in the, in the practice, in the surgery between the dentist, the patient and the dental nurse. And then that was it. They did the we were the very last year of the O-levels. So did that and did pretty well, went to did my A-levels and failed abysmally. And you know, you talk about kind of moments in your life that you learn lessons. Try going with your dad to pick up your A-level results when he’s kind of paid for you to go through independent schools and had to kind of make some unbelievable sacrifices. It’s going to pick up your A-level results and find that you’ve got a C, D and an N, you know, an N an year passed and you can’t get any more humiliating, really. Um, but, you know, and so obviously that was I wasn’t going to get into anything with those results. And you look back and, you know, in the lead up to our chat today, it has made me kind of look back and reflect and, and at that stage I could have gone for recess or gone for I think it was biological sciences or biomedical sciences. And for whatever reason, I thought I’d do a reset and did the resets. Really lucky in that, got the grades, get into Liverpool and then moved on from there.

So Sheffield of late 80s, early 90s I guess, right. Is that what it was. Yeah. Different place to what it is today. What was the reason. Were you were you were you like an early early party animal like what was the reason that you didn’t study and I guess you learnt your lesson and then going forward in dental school, did you end up being the serious student or what were you like?

So I think as with a lot of kids experience more perhaps with GCSEs where you don’t have to work particularly hard. I didn’t feel I mean, it’s different now, I know, but for, for O-levels, you know, I had a particular work ethic that obviously got me through and that work ethic is nowhere near what you need for A-levels. You know, just sitting in a library for six hours staring at a book doesn’t mean you’re revising, you know? So my my revision method was poor at best. And I look back and I actually think I probably went into those exams confident. But how misplaced must that confidence have been just because you’ve sat there looking at the book, you know, and you transfer that forward, you know, a couple of months and would have been going to those pick those results up, hoping that I’d got decent grades. So you can imagine, you know, the world falls from under you. You’ve got, you know, with my dad, we’ve gone to get the results and I take my hat off to him. How he didn’t wipe the floor with me on that day, you know? Um, but is the testament to the man is incredibly patient man in him. And he said, that’s fine you know we’ll we’ll find a way around it. But it was, it was that it was it was a bit of parting and it was a bit of just lack of focus, lack of focus as a city. It was a, you know, it was a fantastic city. And I’d recommend anyone who’s not been there to go there. But it’s it was it was more down to me being, yeah, losing focus.

Tell me about dental school then. So you got to Liverpool was it Got Liverpool?

Yeah. A year older than a year later than I should have done. Expecting to be the. Lived on my own there for a year, expecting to turn up for Liverpool and and be the mature head. But you know most guys I spoke to had had had resat or taken a year out and yeah I was, I was lucky it just fell in with just what I consider still a good group of mates. I didn’t live in halls because I’d lived on my own for a year and I’d kind of lived independently, so I was basically skint. So I was living on. On the grants you had at the time. So lived in a house share in Toxteth and if you want a kind of a baptism of fire. So the I lived in a, in a, in a house next to a Jamaica house, which was a nightclub next door. And on the day that I moved in, there was a police cordon outside with a white chalk mark of someone who’d been stabbed outside the night before. So it was like, welcome to to Liverpool. But it was it was the most fabulous four and a half years.

Such a great city for university. Right. It’s just the just the right size for a university.

It is just the right size. And it’s and it’s.

And the people are just amazing. It must I don’t know. I’ve obviously never been a student there, but I’ve spent a lot of time in Liverpool and I’m actually trying to persuade my son to go to Liverpool now because there’s a size of town, isn’t there, where it’s just big enough that there’s enough going on, you know, whatever you’re into, whether it’s sports or music or whatever. But then it’s just small enough that you’re going to bump into people, you know, like in London, if we ever bump into someone, you know, you’re never going to bump into them again.

That’s exactly it. And I’m not sure what’s happened. You know, I’ve not been to Liverpool for for a few years, but I know it’s obviously kind of blossomed and grown. But, you know, but that it’s also the pulse of the place is quite unique. And I think that is something that anyone who goes there will pick up on in it. And the people are amazing and it was a wonderful place to be a student. For me, it was quite a cheap place to be a student. That was great and we had the most amazing time and not and it’s not necessarily just going to, you know, the typical student places. You know, we we also used to work in a bar in Liverpool. Kirkland’s some people might know. So there was a social circle that came with that as well. That was on a Friday, Saturday night, all through the holidays, I’d work in the bar and manage the bar occasionally, and that in itself was just added another sphere in social life. Yeah, it was amazing. It was amazing. It was amazing. I learnt a lot. So were you.

Top of your class in dental school?

No, no, no, not at all. Oh, man. No, no, not at all. I was just that bang average guy in the middle. And then the came to finals and I had a pass fail Viva in Pedes. And was it Paediatrics and Orthodontics? So, yes, again, on the day of the results coming in, my brother came up with his wife Sarah, expecting me to pass. And obviously if you remember when they put the names on the notice board and if your name’s not on the list you’ve passed, if it’s on the list, you’ve got a viva. So they’re there expecting to celebrate. But I had to go for a viva, so.

I don’t know why. It makes me happy to hear that. You know, it’s interesting. Yeah, because we had Basil Mizrahi. He was saying he was, you know, middle middle of the road. Dental student Andrew Darwood, one of my heroes, He was saying he was almost didn’t get through dental school either. And it goes to show, doesn’t it, that you can you can get serious at any point in dentistry or, you know, it’s not necessarily dental school. That’s what can define your career.

Absolutely. You know, and it kind of and it’s I was talking to we often have young graduates who sit in and observe. And that’s one thing that I’m going to try and push more and more over the next few years is trying to get young graduates in. And we had one in last week. And she was saying, you know, there were being asked to choose a career or choose their specialities as quickly as possible because they’ve been told that time is of the essence and just don’t get that. I honestly don’t get that because if you’d asked me within a year or two of qualifying, what would I have wanted to do? I’d be been on a completely different trajectory to what followed because it did take me three, 4 or 5 years to work out. So yeah, middle, middle of the road.

That’s funny because the I give that advice to young dentists, pick something and go for it, which is opposite to what you’re saying. Don’t you think? If you had done that, if, let’s say you’d by chance picked Endo and gone for it, don’t you think you’d now be one of the top end of dentists in the country as well?

Um, I just can’t imagine I’d get I’d find another specialities fulfilling. I honestly can’t. The variety that I get from my working day in Prosthodontics is just insane. And again, that’s the other reason I try and encourage young graduates to come and observe, because unless you’ve seen it, you’ll assume it’s all tooth wear or you’ll assume it’s all implants and it isn’t. You know, there is so much to prosthodontics and I’m more than happy to bang that drum. From what I’ve seen of Andover, it’s the one thing that I couldn’t I couldn’t do. I don’t think maybe, you know, you can’t maybe I can’t be accurate in saying that now. But in my choice that I made in Prosthodontics, I think I made it at the right time. And that was kind of a good three, four years after qualifying. And I think if I’d made a choice any earlier, I’m not convinced it would have been the right one.

Fair enough. So what did you do after you qualified? What was your first job?

Oh, man. So, you know, I always think kind of blessings are either the people you come across or the circumstances that happen. And so you know, I’m going to go back a stage. So, you know, just before we sat finals, I need to Eileen Thiele, lovely lady, head of perio and she said, you know, if you carry on the way you’re doing, you’re going to fail. There’s no chance. So you come in. Coming to sit in one of my consult sessions for Over your Christmas, I think it must have been summer holidays, actually, because we sat our finals in December just as you come in and went to all the consult clinics throughout the whole of the summer and that was a massive game changer. And then when it came to at the time, it was it was again late for applying for positions and didn’t have anything lined up at all. But a good one of my best mates, Hugh, he found he got a job in North Wales thinking that he wouldn’t get a house officer’s job. He’d signed the contract for the position and then found he had a house officer job. So he then he tried to he wanted to do the house officer job, but he already signed the contract. So Tim, who was who was going to be his trainer, was obviously not happy because he was going to lose out on a trainee.

So obviously Hugh and myself see it differently. He sees it as he gifted me a job. I see it as me saving his ass by taking the job. But either way, it was a match made in heaven. He he did his job and now was a successful consultant. In fact, I had the most amazing year and a half. And that first year in in North Wales was amazing. You know, we said to you, we talked about Liverpool being a brilliant place and everyone wanted to stay there when they qualified. You know, everyone was trying to get to the practices that were within Liverpool. We myself, Greg and Indi ended up in North Wales and in hindsight it was the best thing to get away from Liverpool to to fresh surroundings. And, and Tim was my trainer and between him and Rob Shaw, who was the course organiser for the North North Wales scheme and I know everyone on that scheme had had an amazing program. I myself had a brilliant introduction to dentistry. So at the end of that year you’re kind of going into to your associateship, you know, flying because you’ve had you’re going in with optimism and having had a good laugh and having having had a good grounding, did that for a year, year and a half.

It’s like a launch the launch pad, isn’t it? Like your early jobs, particularly your first job, I find your first boss can really set a trajectory in terms of mindset for you.

There’s there’s so many aspects to that first job and and it really saddens me when I speak to the foundation trainees and they’ll talk about how they don’t get on with their trainer, how, you know, even if you don’t learn a lot, just finish that year. Enthusiastic, feel enthused where the moment you’re thinking you’ve chosen the wrong career. It’s just so sad because to try and turn that around on your own terms or in your associate is, you know, of course all you need is one poor job choice as an associate. And then that’s that’s, that’s you, you know, you’re, you’re spiralling and, and I hope and I do hope that trainers do do kind of spend as much time not just in the clinic but outside the clinic just trying to remind these young graduates, you know, they made a great choice. It’s a brilliant career. It’s got lots of avenues where they can they can follow, but it may not be general practice, but there’s so many other things they can do. It’s and Tim and Rob were really supportive in that. And I remember when I said to Tim, you know, Tim, you know, Tim, I’m going to leave. It was gutted, but it was it was incredibly supportive at the same time.

Did you leave straight after the first year?

That one year did an extra six months. And then I we moved to Manchester. Greg and I shared a house and and then went to the Falklands for a year. That was always interesting.

Yeah. So I read, I read you became the clinical director of the fork. The, what was it? The head of the head of the. History at the.

Sioux people there. So the first one there is the head of the clinic. Yeah. So so.

The actual the job role called.

Clinic. What was it?

Chief Dental Officer. Chief Dental.

Officer. Yeah. Dental office Officer. Yeah. So to apply for their masters. So realised that, you know, straight away there was, there was, there was a hole in my kind of understanding of bridgework and fixed pros. So applied for the MSC Sir Manchester met Prof now Sir Nathan Wilson again another blessing. Great. And he and he said, you know, you’ve just missed your cut off so we can’t take you on for this year, but you know, you’re in for next year. So add a year to kill. So I thought, you know, what do I do in this advert came with for the Falkland Islands. And I remember thinking, oh, you know, apply just to see what it’s about. Went down for interview, did the questions and, you know, came to the end of the interview and they asked me, you know, what do you have any questions? And I said, Yeah, yeah, I’m intrigued. Why? Why do you want someone just for three months? Because I thought it was a short term locum. And they said, Well, no, no, this interview is for the two year post. Sorry, I can’t, I can’t. I can’t commit to that. I’ve got I’ve got a programme lined up in 12 months time. So we called it an end. And a week later they rang up and said, you know, we’d still like to offer it to you for a year if you fancy it. And there’s me thinking, obviously there’s not many. There’s not been many applicants. That’s the reason why. So but yeah, that’s fine. You know, it’s a year to save some money expecting not to spend anything and, you know, just so naive about it, about where it was and what the job would entail. Took the job. I remember just, you know, getting on the Tristar, Brize Norton, stopping at Ascension, getting off to stretch your legs, getting back on again, flying into Stanley and, you know, being escorted by the tornados. They always do that when you get into the Falkland airspace and then just getting on the drive into Stanley itself and just thinking, what have I done? What have I done?

Was it a military role?

No, no, no. That’s the thing. So the nothing to do with the dentist? No. No. So you’re employed by the government?

Employed.

So you’re purely looking after the inhabitants of the island. So the military.

Like if let’s say let’s say someone touched me down in the Falkland Islands or dropped me in the Falkland Islands, would I think I’m in North Wales or something or is it completely different?

It’s quite nothing. Nothing like it. I remember on the way down there I’m going to show how borderline idiotic I am. So on the way down there, we we popped into Costco to pick up some things, you know, things like thick winter socks and things. And I thought, you know, just there was a massive, you know, Costco have everything on the mega scale. They had this massive atlas. So I opened the atlas to find out exactly where it was. And I kept turning the page to go further and further south. And in the end, you can see this very you know, it’s on the same page of Antarctica, south Georgia, on the same page. And and what you have.

Is freezing.

It. You know, the winters were cold but crisp. You know, it’s for me it was reminded me of Sheffield. Cold, crisp winters, beautiful, warm but windy summers. The landscape is barren, but in a beautiful way. When the when the gorse is blossoming, you know, it’s this amazing, vibrant yellow. Yeah. It’s, you know, it’s got mountains. It’s got, you know, for me as a kid who, you know, I was 12 in the Falklands War, so I remember, you know, there was a lot of those a lot of that geography was imprinted on your mind and you were seeing it in real life. You know, you you’d go on on little treks across the mountains and you’d see this these plastic carrier bags that were dug into the mud that had Spanish writing on, you know, this is what was left by the Argentinians. This is the kind of real life. But it was as far as you know, it was it was a year that you dropped into the deep end, you know, on every level. You had developed social skills Clinically. It made a massive difference for me because, you know, there was no lab on site. So your lab is in was near Oxford, so he would get picked up once a week. The lamp still insisted on the two week turnaround. So it was, you know, you were getting back on the third week and I think back back now and just think, why didn’t I not just ring him up and say, do you mind just doing this on a week turnaround? Because, you know, and he had to make sure the impression was good because if it came back and it didn’t fit, then you’d have to do the whole thing again. But what you did, have you had the time? If you wanted to spend three hours on a prep, you spend three hours on a prep, you want to spend half a day on a case, you spend half a day. So it was a it was a time where you kind of hone your skills. I think clinically.

Was there no question of sending it to a lab in Argentina or something that was that completely out of the question?

No, no, no, no, no. How about.

Visiting? Did you did you think about visiting South America at that point?

So it is so yeah. So I’ve not been back since, but the, the they still had the sentiments toward towards Argentina was still very raw. So, you know, at the time they were trying the Argentinians were trying to send their family over to visit the war graves in the Falklands. And there was a lot of resistance in the Falklands still because of of it’s it’s an amazingly unique place. It is the most British place I’ve I’ve ever been to. You know, they will take they will take a holiday for the queens at the time the queen’s birthday. They will celebrate every British event to the nth degree. And it is beautiful, beautiful for that. But the negative of that was that there was a there was a definite reaction to anything Argentinian. So yeah, if you if I mentioned that I was going to go and visit Argentina on my way back, you know, that was my card marked. But I’ve visited Chile. Chile was amazing. We represented the Falkland Islands in football. That was amazing. We went on a tour to South to Chile. Yeah, it was. We made the, the local press there. Mr. Penalty So yeah, so it was so you look, you know, you look back and it was an amazing 12 months.

And the work, the work was, you know, were you up to the work at the time or did you feel like you didn’t you didn’t know what you were up to? You didn’t you didn’t know.

What they asked for on the way out is, you know, as part of the job description, was to have someone who had good experience in everything. And that included or included oral surgery. That’s the one thing I hadn’t done. I hadn’t done a hospital job. So, you know, management of acute surgical cases, trauma, I hadn’t done it at all, but I kind of winged it, got there and expecting to hopefully as you do, as you do, and, you know, you look back and just so lucky and there’s a lot of fishing on big, big trawler ships in the Falkland Islands waters. And these huge, huge ships do everything from the fishing to the processing to the canning of the fish. So these are and these these guys are away from home. These they were mostly Koreans and Vietnamese guys were away from home for months and months on end. But, you know, health and safety isn’t wasn’t a big thing. And when you had an accident, it was a big accident. So they had you know, they had guys coming on with these, you know, quite serious injuries. And the one thing I could call on was the guys from Mount Pleasant, the Army base. So there was always a military surgeon, whether it be a dentally qualified or ENT. And there was one case that we we treated jointly where I was way out of my depth and they had thankfully helped me through. But it could have been a lot worse.

And it was soon after you got back that you decided you weren’t to specialise because I know you’d already had your place. You had your place, right? So, so, yeah.

So I came back to this. Yeah, came back and did the two year. So it was a two year part time program. Yeah. And so. Prof. Wilson And again, it was a time when we had. Paul Brunton He wasn’t a professor at that time who, who took on the program. And then the second year it was taken over by Fraser McCord and you know, it was an introduction to a team that included David Eldridge and Gordon Smith on the side, just the most generous individuals, both in personality and in their kind of willingness to share their knowledge. These these are guys who have been doing implants from the right of their very inception they brought into the northwest. And I, I promise you, I still see cases now that these guys treated in the 80s that are working beautifully. Well, amazing. And, you know, it amazes me, you know, they were doing this with five years knowledge, full arch cases that are still working. And it’s down to the testament of these guys who just knew their stuff, you know. And so we did the two years MSC program and Fraser, he realised that there was perhaps a demand for a specialist training program. And then myself and Neil, Neil Wilson and Anthony McCullough, we signed up for them for the four years part time program.

So, you know, you’re talking about six years, part time self-funded training. You know, it ain’t cheap. It ain’t cheap. But that’s why, you know, most of us kind of had to park the personal life. You know, we didn’t get married until quite late on because your commitments were towards your training. So it was, yeah, six years of part time, self-funded. And then at the end that’s when we got the specialist training post completed. I was working then with Robin Grey, who sadly passed, but again, another amazing mentor. And then these things, the difference now is that at that time it was it was a complete unknown. You know, there weren’t many, if any, specialist referral practices. So it could have worked. It could have thankfully worked out well, but it could have been. A complete duff where you kind of you’re still working it as a very experienced general practitioner, having, you know, spent a fortune putting yourself through these training programs. So it’s quite lucky to be at the right place at the right time. You know, it was different, different in London at the time. I think the referral practices were thriving there. But I think in the north west there was probably 1 or 2. Poor Tipton’s was probably the only one at the time. Yeah.

And so how long after you finished the six years did you open your own place?

As that was 2009, 2010.

And which year did you finish?

So I finished in 2004, worked with Robin Grey for probably about four years. Then Robin sold up. So myself and a couple of other guys, we kind of decided to go our separate ways. And then it was the same time that David David Eldridge asked me to step in and help him his place. And then we kind of inherited his referral base and then extended that into the clinic. And then at the beginning we rented premises, you know, again, because you couldn’t really commit. And then it was we were just renting on a sessional basis. As And when we were there before, you know, we were there Saturdays and Sundays. And that’s when the accountant said, you know, have you kind of thought about buying somewhere, you know, and when he puts the numbers in front of you, you’re thinking, well, this completely makes sense. And then we moved into the building that you’ve been to in 2011. Yeah. Yeah.

So those early years must have been quite hard in terms of getting the business on its feet. And, you know, you kind of had a huge referral base already at that point.

No, there weren’t, you know, there weren’t. It wasn’t. But that was the time where I’d work. You know, I was still working partly in the hospital. If anyone wanted sessions, you’d say yes. I worked at the Blackburn Royal as a locum consultant there for a couple of days, a week or a day. A week. The practice in Blackburn, I’d worked there probably an evening, if not a day a week. So you’d go anywhere and everywhere because you’d have to do the hard miles, you know, And it’s not about kind of making your week busy. It’s about doing the complex cases, doing the, you know, the only way you’re going to learn. But we had a good leg up with the MSC. You know, we did lots of treatments on the MSC were again, as I said, you know, the guys were really generous in giving us really nice cases. We and the specialist training programme hit the ground running from the first moment you’re doing a really nice big cases, so you’re going into practice with with a bit of confidence. And because we hadn’t committed to a property, you know, you’re only paying for the sessions that you’re there. It was, it was I couldn’t really lose.

Yeah. But you know, back then there wasn’t much in the way of education. I remember saying, I want to be a cosmetic dentist and looking and finding those one course in in London. I don’t know if you remember Howard Steen. Yeah, it was. He used to have this thing. He used to test test products adapt it was called or something and that was it. That was there was, you know, with the name aesthetic or cosmetic on it. That was the one course there was. Now today there’s almost the opposite situation, right? There’s courses on every single aspect of dentistry. I mean, even sometimes it becomes very, very specialised, you know, injection moulded composite course, you know, what’s your advice? And I know to become you a purely specialist referral based practice, it makes sense just from the marketing perspective to to be called the specialist and, and so forth. But but what’s your what’s your advice to a young gun who wants to get really good at fixed? Is it to do a specialist program? Is it to do both? Do you do lots of, you know, go away somewhere across the world and do a, I don’t know, spear or choice or whatever? What’s your advice?

Well, you know, it’s one of it gives you the theoretical background and the ability to kind of apply it practically. And unfortunately, there aren’t that many courses that do that. I’m not a massive fan of the specialist title. You know, there are lots of specialists. I wouldn’t go anywhere near. There are lots of general dentists out there that are amazing. And to see that work all the time. Depeche, you know, these guys there, but go to them before I’d go to a lot of other colleagues for for a lot of work. So the specialist title was was useful at the time from a marketing point of view. But if you look at our practice, you know, we’re not all specialists because we’ve got two guys there who just do surgical dentistry and they’re very good at that. So if I if I had the chance to run a course and and I think this is where dental education should hopefully move towards and it is kind of going that way with implant dentistry, but also it should be doing it with other aspects of dentistry as this kind of theory, then practical, practical on Phantom head and then move on to the practical onto patients. So I mean, what, what we’re, we’re trying to what we’re going to try and do at our at our place is, is do this blended learning, whatever you want to call it, where we do the theory, then we do the hands on on phantom heads. Then you come and observe. When you’ve done that a few times, you come and bring your patients to our practice.

Treat them there because we’ve got the kit. You don’t have to invest in the kit and then you’ll be mentored on site. Do that 2 or 3 times and then you’ve got the chance to you’ve got the confidence of taking it back to your own practice and taking it from there. But you know, that that ain’t that ain’t a quick fix That takes time that. Kind of commitment from the person who wants to join that pathway. But that’s the only way I see where we can provide that structure. And I think to be able to get better at something, you need to be bold. You need to kind of but not arrogant, not not complacent. Yeah, you need to be bold in taking these cases on. And unfortunately, I think the courses maybe make you a little bit overconfident sometimes. And patients don’t allow for that boldness. They expect everything, whether it’s the first time we’ve done that treatment or the hundredth time. And I think this is where we need to kind of just maybe go for this phased learning and do it bit by bit. And and you know, I think anyone can do a big complex case. If you’ve done it 20 times, it’s a lot easier than if you’re doing it for the first time. So that’s what we’re going to try. And I think that’s that’s and I hear implant courses where you can treat patients on the course. I think that’s that’s the way to go.

So what’s your own scope of practice? Do you do implants and do the complicated implants or or are you purely. Yeah.

It’s.

You know, it’s funny, years ago it was 20 years ago it was mostly a lot of implants failing dentitions Now it’s a implants failing Dentitions But say it’s 2,030% of the working week is tooth wear. And I do think, you know, that can’t just be by chance that we’re seeing that. And that’s why I’m I’m really keen on getting the treatment to these cases done in practice by by the referring dentists because you know man alive, you’re using that material day in, day out. You know, you’re using this direct composite day in and day out. It’s just applying it in a different kind of way with a tooth wear case. And the guys who’ve kind of followed our structure and been and see now be observed at the practice. I’ve now seen them do wear cases in the practice at their own practices and it works. And you know, and you’re adding a real benefit to your treatment profile if you can manage these cases in house. And it’s brilliant. The kind of really the financially rewarding, the professional rewarding, you’re making a huge difference to that without prepping teeth at all.

So I mean with with a tooth wear scenario, right? The there’s one aspect of it nowadays where we are more aware of it than we were as a general dentist, right? I think as a general dentist, you can see a tooth wear case and say nothing or, you know, you could be reactive to a patient comes in and says, Now I can’t see my teeth or whatever. Do you have a process you teach or that you use yourself for? You know, breaking it to a patient that, you know, although nothing’s hurting, although you haven’t come and told me I’m unhappy with the way I look, now’s the time to act. And then sometimes acting can be quite a massive plan. And how do you how do you manage that process?

Well, I’m going to go back a stage because I think it’s still surprising how many patients who are regular attenders are referred in to later stage. And I do think there’s an age thing. I think I think, you know, I’m trying to see if there is a pattern where the younger graduates are looking at six year olds and seeing them as being written off. You know, are you of course, you’ve got warm teeth. You’re six year old, you’re 60 years old. You know, you’re bound to have warranty. But actually, that level of wear is significant and you’re not seeing the fact that that patient is going to hopefully live on for another 20, 30 years. Yeah, and that’s so moving, moving on, you know, what’s what’s the process? And we cover it in our courses and and it’s a typical kind of speech I come out with you know tooth wear is teeth becoming thinner and shorter. But really that isn’t enough to explain to you what’s going on in your mouth. I need to explain to you with regards to what’s caused it, which teeth have been affected and how severe it is. And then I try and use that severe category as the as the is the most important aspect of that classification. Because if you if they fall into the mild category, we monitor it, we put in some preventative regime.

If it’s severe, we recommend treatments. And if it’s moderate, we treat someone, we treat and we monitor others. And it’s very arbitrary. You know, I say to patients, this is nothing scientific about this. This is very subjective, but I will put you into a severe category. If teeth were in a 70 year old, you might be moderate and you kind of every single time you see the penny drop. Right. I get it. I get it. You know, I’m even if I’m a healthy six year old, you can have severe tooth wear. If you’re fit and healthy, you’re going to be around for another 20, 30 years. And also follow that up with. But please, please, please don’t lose sleep over this. You know, this is not happened overnight, but just be aware. And it’s about making them walk out. One, being aware of what’s going on in their mouth and also being aware of the consequences of carrying on with a non interceptive approach, whether it be that that that’s been something that’s suggested by their dentist or by them. But they need to kind of. Often take ownership of what’s going on. And, you know, and I think that process works because the treatments uptake for our tooth wear cases is really, really good.

Although with you, they’ve been.

Already referred to you. So already the dentist has said something. What about the dentist themselves? Are dentists referring to late when you said you said that, right? You said they’re referring to. Is it because you haven’t got enough tooth to play with now?

Yeah. Yeah. I think it’s got to the point where and you’ll never know whether, you know, we’ll have patients who came in and said, Yeah, I was given a mouth guard ten years ago. Well, you know, straight away if someone’s had that conversation with them ten years ago to say you’re grinding your teeth, perhaps wasn’t explained to them at that time was that if you don’t wear this mouth guard, it will have a significant effect on your teeth. And I’m going to make a presumption and it might be wrong, but I’ll assume that most patients who are fully or mostly dentate in their 60s do not want to be wearing dentures in their 70s, 80s and 90s. And what you’re saying to them is that if you don’t do anything, as long as you’re aware of the probability of the fact that you will lose more teeth and you’re going to have to wear a denture. If you’re if you’re fine with that, great. You know, you can you can be more passive about it. But if you want to avoid that happening, we need to do something. And thankfully there is a treatment in most cases. We had one last week where we couldn’t treat because it was too advanced. But in most cases there is a treatment that’s really conservative and involves no drilling where we can build the teeth up.

Well, what you’re not saying you’re not telling me in every case you can do additive or are you?

Unless it’s really. Really. I mean, there was one case last week that was so advanced that there was very little to work with, you know, pretty much route faces. But we’ve, you know, we’ve we’ve pushed the boundaries so much where I’ve expected expected things to fall apart and they’ve come back and they’ve behaved you know the build ups they they will they may chip they’ll wear. But it’s very rare for them to just fall apart.

So then but then is it a transitional thing? And then eventually you’re going to go into indirect.

So, yeah. So what we say to them is we’ll do this build ups. And historically what we also did was give them a mouth guard at the end and the patients would come back at a review at six months with this pristine, fresh mouth guard that had never been worn one night. And and you’d say to them, you know, you’re not worn this, have you? And they said, No. And you’re looking at the mouth and the composites were wearing really well. So rather than charging them for the mouth guard, for most cases, what we tend to do is is not give them a mouth guard. And then if we get unexpected chipping or breaking in that first 12 to 18 months, then we’ll suggest a mouth guard. But I’ve not you know, you talk about transitionals. I can’t think of a case where we’ve gone from composites to indirects. We’ve got one lined up because the teeth are so heavily restored that we’ll need indirects. But if you’re talking about largely virgin unrestored teeth, we will go with a direct approach. And as long as there’s something to bond onto that will be hopefully predictable for years.

Well, but. Okay. So when when are you doing the full mouth rehabs then? When? When there’s lots of fillings.

Yeah. So full mouth rehabs, it tends to be lots of failing dentitions where lots of failing teeth, teeth that are heavily restored. So teeth with failing crown and bridgework teeth with failing direct restorations. If we’re looking to reorganise and change the occlusion in the tooth’s got a large amalgam or a large composite can bond onto but large amalgam or a failing crown that tends to be and that’s the messy work, that’s the, you know, dismantling old dentistry, you know, is is time intensive and that, you know, that’s that’s the that’s the kind of stuff that takes two three hours of your of your week. So the the direct composite cases are are relatively straightforward.

I mean how do you charge for that? I mean hopefully.

I’m.

Sure you’ve got an hourly hourly rate sort of story going on. Right. But you know, somehow we end up charging less for direct than we do for indirect. Even once you take into account the lab work element and we all know direct is a lot harder.

Yeah, absolutely. So it becomes, you know, I’m still, believe it or not, still feeling my way with it and I’ll look I think I’ve got on top of it now where where with localised where if it’s lowers there’ll be a particular fee uppers and lowers and additional increments. And then if it’s an aesthetic component where at the end of it all, if, if the patient is lost and incisal third where the composite that you’ve added on might be an aesthetic compromise, then you may have to then plan a third phase of layering the facial aspect with composite then, and if it’s the highest that’s at risk, then that adds another tier. So it tends to be and it is it sounds, you know, the guys who come and observe there must be walking away thinking he’s made a number up.

But it’s not.

But it’s not far off that as long and it is a significant number. But there’s a lot of time in Chairside and also reviews, you know, and you’re factoring in any kind of repairs for the first 12 months.

So what are we talking.

Yeah, I don’t mind sharing that with you if we’re talking kind of a very localised wear case, lower 3 to 3, upper 3 to 3. Um, typical dowel pro about 2000. If you’re doing both arches upper and lower anteriors, then you’re probably going about 3 to 3 and a half. And then if you’re talking about the facial aspects of teeth as well, you know, the high end aesthetic, talking about four, four and a half.

Doesn’t seem high enough.

I completely agree with you. I agree with you. And I think.

It doesn’t.

It doesn’t bearing in mind the time it takes and the time it’s going to take in any chips or whatever, you know, I’m sure you’re not going to charge them straight away. And the experience doesn’t seem high enough.

Yeah, but, you know, I think the reason I’m comfortable with that figure and I think I look at our kind of our implant fees, I would argue a less than a lot of practices in our area. General and referral is I’d like to think we’re quite slick in that, you know, we’re, I’m hoping we’re quite efficient. There’s no downtime in the things. The clinical time is pretty quick. So the wear cases they’re being done, you know in 2.5 hours, maybe in one arch. Yeah. So we’re not talking kind of 4 or 5, 4 or 5 hours, maybe 4 or 5 hours if, if in both arches over two visits. But it’s, it’s not we’re not talking about, you know, eight, ten hours it’s efficient workflow.

Yeah. But is that have you done this on purpose as in you’ve worked on the efficiency rather than on the price. No, it’s just the way it’s evolved.

It’s just the way it’s evolved. And it is just it got to the point where I was thinking what we’re charging is not enough based on what we’re providing. Yeah. So a couple, you know, a couple of years, I look back on some of our reports on the tooth wear cases we were doing kind of eight, ten years ago and you know, we were giving it away, you know, it was £1,500 for and I’m looking in those cases I’m seeing now, you know, the things are still behaving really, really well, performing really well. We had a patient who came in last week who should bust a screw in an implant crown that we fitted eight years ago, and our fees have gone up for for our implant crowns by £300.

Wow.

You know. Yeah.

You know, you haven’t done.

You haven’t done the annual increase that you should have done. Basically.

You know.

If you come to ours, you’ll hopefully pick up some clinical stuff. But don’t expect anything on the business side of things. You know, we’ve, we’ve, we’ve winged it so much because yeah, it’s the way we’ve operated. You know, as long as everyone gets paid and patients are happy and bills get paid and, you know, get paid what I do, I’m quite happy with it. I’ve never looked at hourly rates. We’ve never looked at any of that productivity. It’s yeah. Didn’t didn’t have the headspace for that.

A couple of questions for you. I mean if you’re at the tip of the spear like you are. I mean, you alluded to it before. Sometimes you’re pushing the envelope, like you were saying about the bondage bit piece, that you’ve done things that are slightly outside of let’s call it the evidence base for the sake of the argument. Yeah, I see that as your duty as people who are really at the top of their game have to do that. And also the evidence base is always years behind anyway, right? What’s actually going on? But how do you square that with the worry that something’s going to go wrong and then someone someone’s going to say, hey, this isn’t you know, people are acting a lot more defensively now. And I worry about it. I worry about, you know, we’re not going to get any movement forward because all of us are so defensive.

Well, you know, this is where, you know, I’m in that ivory tower, I’m afraid, because you come at things from a slightly different angle. You know, patients are more willing, I think, to take on treatments. And I think a lot of that is in the communication. If you’re if you’re you know, again, I say it’s guys who sit and observe. Don’t just come in and watch the treatments, come in and observe one of our first appointments because you’ve got 45 minutes to take your information, do your examination, present it to a patient. Patients in a really concise, clear way. And for them to walk out thinking this guy knows what he’s doing and with a bit of confidence, but also with a realistic expectation of what’s going to happen. It was really nice. Last week we had a patient who came in and I was saying to him how difficult it was and he said, Will you just do your best? And it’s been such a long time because patients often their expectations are so way off. What might be possible. It was just really heartening to hear someone say, Well, as long as you just do your best, I’m going to be happy. And that should be the starting point, you know, and and we we will say to patients, you know, there’d be a lot of stuff we’ll do now that we’ve not done before.

And I’ll say to patients, we’ve not done this before, but it is the only way I can see for us to get around this problem. And if nothing else, we’ll have a plan B and then we’ll have a plan C and that tends to be enough for them. But I’ve said before, you know, to do that you need to be bold sometimes. And the current climate in clinical dentistry doesn’t allow for that, doesn’t allow for people to just I don’t like to use the phrase have a go dentistry because having a go suggests a bit of recklessness. But you need to be bold and you need to be able to say, okay, I’m going to give myself the kit, I’m going to give myself the time. I’m going to choose the right patient and I’m going to just go beyond that comfort zone, because the alternative is you’re going to be practising the same way in your 25th year as you were in your in your in your first year. And that’s a real shame.

But do you see that with younger colleagues? They’re more worried than than, let’s say, our generation regarding this issue.

What I see with the younger colleagues, we had a young undergraduate in not that long ago and he’s doing a facial aesthetic clinics nice you know as an undergraduate to make money like I never even thought of that you know and I actually don’t you know you look at restorative dentistry when when we qualified you did amalgams you prepped teeth for crowns or veneers, bridges. There wasn’t a whole lot else. Perio, obviously. And even then we didn’t do that particularly well. We didn’t move teeth. We didn’t bond onto teeth, particularly apart from unless there was a filling. Nowadays, you know, the difficulty or the the massive bonus for these guys is they can take it anywhere, anywhere they want. Unfortunately, I think too often they’re going I would argue they’re going down the wrong path first. You know, they’re going for the Invisalign courses within the first year of qualifying rather than looking at an occlusion course rather than looking at a restorative course, looking at perio course, looking at the endo course. Because I think if you’re going to have a hierarchy of what you need to be good at to be successful, diagnosis of endo or perio, I think is more important than diagnosis of crowded teeth. Yeah.

For sure. I mean, your humility is what’s amazing to me. You you turn up to Mini Smile Makeover. You paid for the course. You didn’t contact me or anything. You just turned up as a delegate. And at the time when you came twice. But the first time you came pitch was 26 or something and you were a consultant. Restorative referral only fixed price guy. And the humility to do that, to turn up and be taught by a 26 year old. I found it amazing. I found it. And look Dipesh he’s extraordinary and all that. But you weren’t to know that for sure before you turned up. Are you. Are you that cat? Are you. Do you. Do you go on loads and loads of courses? And what do you do? What’s what’s your story.

I’d go I think people need to park that you know there’s as I said before, there will be people out there doing way better implant work. We’re so primitive with our approach to digital dentistry. Why wouldn’t I go to someone who’s maybe two years qualified, who can teach me on how to work on scanners, who can work on how to embrace digital dentistry? So you’re going to learn from anyone and everyone and, you know, depression, great guy, brilliant at what he does. The fact that he was, you know, whatever number of years younger than me is is irrelevant. I think it’s nothing to do with humility. I think it’s just recognising the fact that there are better people out there that you can learn from. If you’re if you’re not prepared to do that, then it’s your loss.

But back then, we used to get a fair amount of stress from people saying, Hey, who’s this kid you’re trying to get to teach us? And now I get it. I do get it. And I understand why someone might think that. But, you know, a few times and you’re definitely one of them where people have turned up who you wouldn’t expect to want to be taught by a younger person. What is it about you that you know that you’re that cat? I mean.

I’ll tell you what it is. Part of it is because you’re constantly full of self doubt. That’s probably a good start. You know, it’s always nice when someone says, you know, your introduction was really quite lovely, really nice to hear, but we’ll get the odd locum nursing or we’ll get the odd young graduate in. He’ll come in and be very complimentary about the practice or what would I do in it. And it’s kind of it’s at a complete conflict with with what’s going on in my mind because again, you know, what do you want to call it? Imposter syndrome or what? There is always self doubt there, but I think you need that. You need that self doubt to have that comfort zone because then you need to be working just beyond that comfort zone. You don’t want that self doubt to paralyse you to the point where you don’t do anything. So your whole career is spent about defining where that line is and just hopping just either side of it. And if that means going to listen to someone who can, who, you know, is going to, you know, and you might walk away from a course thinking didn’t pick up much from that. But there’s always something someone’s doing better somewhere, you know?

Yeah, I get that. So then tell me about your sort of pursuit of excellence now, because, you know, it’s a funny thing, the way one positions oneself. I mean, I don’t know. When I was a young dentist, I didn’t think to study any further until then. We started Enlightened and that was that. And then some people do what you do and go and study and. And have you found a sort of an ikigai kind of idea of, you know, you found your zone and you’re now just following excellence, trying to get better and better and better at that at that thing. And does that is that what gives you the pleasure in, in the job?

Um, it is one aspect of what gives them the pleasure. I’ve got to say the, the pursuit of excellence is, is in the effort that we all put in as a team. It’s not just clinical, you know, I think there are other people in the Northwest, definitely in the country who are doing better clinical work outcomes than we are, I’m sure of it, but I think we are brilliant at what we do as a practice. On the caring side, I can’t imagine there is another team that puts as much effort into the care of their patients as much as we do with brilliant of that.

Explain it to me. What’s what is it? What is it? When you say care of your patients, do you mean the patient journey?

Yeah, the patient journey. Yeah. You know, from the moment we’ve got a team that, you know, if you’re talking about kind of what I’m so most proud of, it’s where we are at now, at the practice where we’ve got and it’s on the back of lots of other colleagues that have helped us get to this point, you know, from back 12, 13 years ago. But we’ve got a team that are just so committed to everything that is the practice is about getting this patient on a journey where they will invariably start in a compromised, challenged, really potentially awful place. And you take them to a to an end point where they walk out and. They will sing your praises. They will bring you know, they’re paying for their treatment, but they’ll bring gifts and there’s thank yous. The the everything about it is is about that patient journey. You know, we’ll go back to the fact that, you know, the pandemic, you know, you’re asking guys to go back into the firing line of practice and not one of our members of staff who every one of them would have lost a member of either a family or someone they knew. They got back into it without any hesitation. You know, they they embraced everything we were about. They were confident in the systems that we had set up. And I think that takes a huge amount of respect. So the driving force behind everything we do is is respect for each other, respect for our patients. And we get we expect respect back from our patients. So, you know, if you want to get my goat, you can have a winter reception, be nice, be nice in the surgery, but have a whinge in reception and I’ll be the first to kind of call the patient up afterwards and and just call them up on it because it’s not acceptable.

Really? You’ve done that.

Before. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. What do you say?

Talk me through that conversation.

Well, you know, you’ve got to be real.

Idiot to want to cause offence. So invariably patients who cause offence don’t want to cause offence, but if they’ve caused offence then you need to be called up on it because if you, if you let that run they’ll potentially cause offence again. They just need to know that within our four walls, that thing that you said before is not acceptable. So giving an example, we had a saw a patient for a new console on his way out when he went to pay his his fee, he just made a passing comment about I bet he pays better. He pays you less than that per day or per week, referring to our console fee. And he left and I forget who was on the on the desk and said, you know, he just said that that’s quite offensive. So he either let that ride or give it a couple of days and ring the gentleman up and he’s and he’s lovely. And and it was and it’s just a quip. I’m sure he was trying to be funny. But I’d say I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you know, our staff took offence to that and if it was me that had said something that was cause that caused offence, I’d like to know about it. So just to let you know and if you feel that that makes you too uncomfortable to come back. I completely accept that but would be delighted to see you and carry on where we left off. And he was so apologetic and he came back and a lot of it is anxiety. You know, patients are anxious about being there. So they’ll they’ll they may say things that they might think are offensive, but it just means that you need to moderate your you need to moderate what you say when you’re in our four walls. You know, you can’t be rude, you know. And so, yeah, it happens every now and again. It’s about having having each other’s backs, you know, and can have the other dentist back. But you also have to have the receptionist back and the nurses back and they’ll have mine.

I’d like to talk about the practice and you know, it’s not by mistake that a practice does well or that people people respect each other. So how much of that is you and how much of that is someone else who’s who’s like, have you got a practice manager who’s really taking care of the staff side or are you setting the tone to expand a bit on the side? So how many people are we talking?

So we’ve got.

About nine clinicians now. Nine clinicians all do different numbers of numbers of sessions, but it all starts off with kind of myself and Neil, Neil Wilson, a really good friend who again put a lot of time and effort in setting up when we first started and you know, it was just a one surgery setup pretty much. But once you have that core is one of respect and being civil to each other and, you know, just looking after that caring process, it means like attracts like, you know, we start off with with the Louisa practice manager, then Nikki, who was with us for over 11, 12, 13 years. And I can honestly say bar bar, a couple of appointments, all our clinicians, all our nursing staff have bought in, into this, into this. And because if, if you don’t, you’re very quickly get found out because it’s reflected in your work ethic. If you don’t respect your people you work with, invariably it’ll affect the work you’re doing, whether it be on the nursing side, on the admin side or on the as a as a clinician. So I think if we want to take credit for anything, it’s perhaps that bit at the very beginning is that you treat people how you like to be treated. You know, you’re no one’s precious in our place. No one’s no one is above how to make a cup of tea for someone else, you know, to washing up. Lovely. It’s the little things, isn’t it? You know.

I noticed that with you, with our hands on. You came and helped us clear up at the end. You were the teacher. You were the teacher at it. And I remember I’d never seen a teacher do that before.

Yeah.

But, you know, it’s kind of. You know, you see you see your staff and on any given day running around really, really busy. And let’s say, you know, I’ve got a 20 minute gap. It’s either I go up and look at Facebook or read the football or just put the kettle on and just or just wash up. You know, it’s just the right thing to do, isn’t it? And I think it does send out a message. Now, if it means that I keep having to wash up, it means someone else isn’t washing up. And we need to we need to bring that up. But I think it’s you. And, you know, I think words are really, really important. If you if you want me to bring a bit of vomit into my mouth and start referring to your practice manager, you know, my practice manager, my nurse, my treatment plan coordinator, my accountant, that I just find that so offensive. You know, it’s our practice manager. It’s, you know, our training plan coordinator is everything. Because if you use that other possessive, if you’re in the room and you hear that, I think it just it means there’s a hierarchy and there really shouldn’t be one.

I mean, what kind of leader are you? I mean, sometimes, you know, one errs too much on the overfriendly side. Some some people are too much on the, I don’t know, bit strict. Are you strict? Are you friendly? Who are.

You? You know.

I try and be supportive. You lead from the middle, not from the front. Because if you’re in the middle, you’ve surrounded yourself with leaders. So I think the every one of us at the practice has got responsibility that they carry. If you’re in the middle, then the newest additions, you can keep an eye out for them because they’re the ones at the back. I don’t tend to shout and rave too much, but I think when I do, I think the staff know that there’s a reason for it or there’s a reason behind it. But it’s really rare, you know? And the days have gone where I used to kind of throw stuff, you just know it’s completely ineffective and you just come across as a complete fool, you know? So most, most a lot, a lot more can be achieved by just quiet conversations. And that’s the one thing I think I’ve got better at over the last 3 or 4 years is just, you know, just letting it settle and then just having that quiet conversation.

So, I mean, you’ve got this amazing reputation for, you know, knowing your stuff, but also for making patients happy. If you had to distil it down for a young dentist or someone who’s sort of just wants to get into this area, 2 or 3 key things that that you need to look out for to get, you know, patient satisfaction. People, people, people happy at the end of treatment. What comes to mind when I say that?

I think looking it looking at it from the other side, it’s about trying to protect yourself from patients who may have a reason to take it. Anything from a friend to a complaint to the practice or even higher up the ladder. So, you know, in my mind, I think there’s we’re trying to there’s three things you’re looking at. One is getting a successful outcome in your treatments. And obviously that’s the subjective thing. That’s largely down to what the patient perceives as as as successful based on their expectations. The second issue is choosing the right treatment plan. And again, we can discuss that at length. It can be subjective. We can have differences between clinicians as to what is the right treatment and what’s the wrong treatment. One person would do what bonding, One person might veneer a bunch of teeth, but it’s ultimately what is the right treatment for that patient. And the third thing is carrying out that treatment with with an element of care. And I think if you if you can do two out of those three, I feel you’re pretty much protected. You’re protected yourself from a patient having a grievance that may spiral into something that can be really quite stressful in your career. So you can’t you know, a successful outcome isn’t always predictable. There’s variations between what we might choose as a correct treatment choice, but if at least if we can provide a level of care, if that patient feels that they’re being well looked after through that journey, you’ve ticked off one of the three. And if you do tick off two of the three.

You’re safe.

I think you’re safe. I think you’re safe. So so even though we’ve spoken about when, you know it’s exhausting, you’ve got things going in your life and the patient comes and they’re demanding and you’ve really been pushed to your limits. And that’s when you’ve really got to pull it out the bag and show that empathy and that care and that understanding. And if you can do that, and if it’s a lengthy treatment process, it’s multiple appointments, it might be a patient that you may not particularly like as a personality, but you’ve still got to face up. But if you can do that consistently and then either provide a successful outcome or make sure you choose the right treatment in their eyes, I think you can be relaxed and comfortable.

So in a way, you’re saying if if your rapport with the patient is good. And on paper you chose the right treatment plan. If things go wrong, if you don’t get that third one, it’s not going to spiral out of control.

And you look at it the other way, you know, you’ll have patients who’ll go to dentists who can be really prickly characters who who, who are, you know, snappy, short, you know, rude to their staff, but they provide really good treatment with a successful outcome. So they’ll put up with it.

Yeah. Yeah. And what about when you say if you haven’t got that natural rapport with a patient, have you got any tactics that you use in order to, you know, at least make him feel that you’ve got some rapport?

Yeah. You know.

It’s about kind of making that connection and it is different. It is different in a in a referral practice setting because, you know, in a general practice, you’ll see the patient once every six months. And over the course of years you’ll get to know them and their circumstances and their family referral setup. Often you’ll see them over a short period of time, but you’ll see a lot of them. Yeah, yeah, you’ll see. And you’ll get to know them really well. And I think that is the difference. So it’s about trying to get that relationship built up in a, in a, in a general practice setting. And it’s, it’s, it’s a, it’s a soft skill isn’t it. It’s a soft skill that you need to develop. I think unfortunately, I think there was a study that shows that our level of empathy actually decreases the more patient exposure we get. Yeah. So you’ve got to kind of it’s something you work at because it’s human nature. You know, you’re tired, you’re you’re running late and you’ve got to just face up and, and work with that patient as if they are the only patient you’re seeing that day. And they’ve got their full, undivided attention.

I mean, have you had moments where your spidey sense has kicked in and you’ve thought, you know, for whatever sort of sixth sense feeling, I don’t want to treat this patient. How do you break that to them?

Yeah. And and it.

Is what.

Are those times? Are those times where you can’t see what the patient sees when he’s saying, I’m not happy with the way these look and you can’t see it or.

It’s it’s it’s it’s often a non-clinical issue and it’s often it is a spider sense where you you’ve got to have an element of compatibility. You’ve got to you’ve got to they’ve got to have an element of trust. You’ve got to have an element of respect. I’ve got to see I’ve got to say, more often than not, it’s it’s not the expectations that set off his senses. It’s the fact that the patient as a personality you think is not suited to working, to fitting in your environment. And it does then get to the point where you’ll never get a day list where every patient that’s coming in is going to be like your best friend. But you’ve definitely whittled it down to just the odd patient, and that’s okay in an ideal. So what do you say?

What do you say if a young, young dentist is faced with that situation? What’s a nice way of saying.

Well, the first and thanks.

You know, the warning signs are someone who’s been to see lots of dentists in a short period of time. They’ll often present and they’re looking for another opinion or asking to offer an opinion on someone else’s work once they’re in you know, once the moment you’ve picked up that handpiece or you’ve done anything remotely invasive, they are your patient. So it’s about making that call early and just it is awkward conversations, You know, I really don’t feel that what you’re what you’re what you need and what you’re trying to get fits into. What we can provide here as a team, we can recommend practices for you.

Simple as that.

Simple as that. And it’s not a conversation you have too often, but once you’ve had it, you know, through the sense of relief that you get, that you’ve done the right thing.

And how about the fact that you’re probably the lowest ego high level dentist I’ve ever come across, but there are times where your ego kind of gets the better of you insomuch as you know, You know you’re good. You know, you’ve done things well in the past and the patient might be picking you up and that can get you into trouble, right? Yeah. Where you think I can do this? Right. And then. And then you’re. You’re halfway through and you realise that this patient’s not. Not a reasonable person. That must have happened.

Yeah, but.

It’s also every. Every time I’ve kind of genuinely, every time I’ve either got carried away with myself, any time I’ve taken a shortcut, any time I’ve thought, this will do, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ve got caught out every time.

It’s the stone in the shoe, isn’t it?

It it is. And you kind of. And it does happen where you think. I’m sure it’ll be fine this time. And the patient comes in six months later with a broken crown. And then you. And that’s, you know, after that initial moment of that, you’re so disheartened, you remind yourself, well, actually, that’s a lesson. I’m not going to make that mistake again for the next two, three years, because it’s human nature that mistakes and, you know, shortcuts and things crawl in. You can’t you can’t be in a spotless for the whole for your whole career. So you’ve got to accept it when when things do happen and you just, you know, and if if you’re a young clinician and you’ve taken on a case that’s out of your depth, just call in more senior colleagues to offer advice. It’s I think too often I think there’s that tendency to try and go through the whole journey on your own when you shouldn’t be on your own, you know, And sometimes it’s just calling on on advice of of someone within the practice or in that area to, to offer an opinion.

I must say it’s comforting to know that even you have that problem.

It’s inevitable.

It’s inevitable, isn’t it? It’s part of our work. And it’s it’s I think by working on a referral system, it’s easier. But it’s. Yeah, everyone wants to be busy, don’t they? You know, we do rather busy with difficult cases or have an empty diary. You want to be again nature is that you want to be busy. It’s it’s a tough one. It’s a lesson you’ll keep learning. And I think and that thing I said to you before, you know girls coming to to observe, I think they get as much out of a consult session as they do a treatment session just for how we set our stall out. You know, You know, you set your stall out first off, and the patient doesn’t like the way we act and behave. Then they also have the option of saying they don’t want to come back. And we have patients who who had one, you know, recently had a report who said that they don’t like the report. They’re going to go elsewhere. That’s completely fine. I’m completely happy with that.

I mean, what about the treatment? Acceptance rate must be quite high. But then inevitably, all of us have some patients who don’t go ahead, but maybe not with, you know, someone might not be as direct as that. I’m going somewhere else. You just. Someone might just not get back to you. Do you guys then chase that patient or not at all?

Yeah. So we have a referral log.

Which it requires manpower to run, you know, so you’ll have a new patient referred there would have been contacted for an initial meeting. They might have not answered the phone or they may have decided to defer it for a while. We’ll put the reason in, then we’ll contact them. Once they’ve had that initial assessment and the report, we’ll contact them. Maybe we should be contacting them within a few weeks. Often once they’ve received the report, it’s all by email. Now they’ll often reply and say, Yeah, please kind of go ahead. How do I proceed? And that makes it a little bit easier. Nice.

Let’s get on to the darker part of the interview. We like to talk about mistakes.

Yeah.

From that sort of black box, thinking that, you know, the guy says that, you know, when a plane goes down, they share the mistakes. And so the mistakes never happen again. But in medical, we tend to hide them and we tend to blame people. And so, you know, the it’s not the system isn’t isn’t ever exercised and people get blamed and we don’t learn from each other’s mistakes. I’d like you to give me a couple of clinical one clinical error, one management error, patient management error, and then one business error.

A clinical.

Error. That’s the beauty of composites, is that I’m going to look at it from a different level angle is that, you know, with with direct composites and tooth wear cases, you can very rarely make it look worse. And that’s the other reason why I’m a big advocate of composites. So for me, the clinical areas tend to be the implant cases. And we’ve got a couple where and it tends to be under treatment where you’ve not been as radical as you should have been. So you’ve kept teeth that should have come out and it’s come back and bitten you. And with all these cases, you look back and think, you know, in hindsight we should have included that tooth or those teeth or gone full arch. But got to say, every single time you also put yourself back in and think, if I had to see that case again, would I do it again? You probably would do you still would. Probably. I would like to think would practice more conservatively and give teeth the benefit of the doubt. And if it means I’m the odd case, you get caught out, you’ve got to you’ve just got to roll with the punches on that. So it tends to be the not being as as aggressive with the treatment planning. Sometimes that’s caught me out and invariably it’s always occlusion. It’s always something that’s occlusal that will smash something or break something that I didn’t expect. So we’ve got a case at the moment where a lady’s broken her implant because we assumed that she would wear a splint and she didn’t, and the thing snapped and trying to unravel that. And we have no.

The fixture itself.

Yeah, very much so. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, and you know, Corey is really good at kind of giving that structure to his, to his fees as to, you know, how much they, how much the practice will cover with failures year 135I think. And we need to implement that. We don’t get many of them. So it is very much, you know, like anything you’re putting up in the air and just making it fair. But as long as it’s it’s a fair arrangement, we go with it, really. So that’s, that’s the clinical one. Um, patient management. Um, my biggest mistake is reports I’m not quick enough in getting the reports out. It sounds very pathetic, but I think if I could give any advice to anyone who’s starting out, whether it be general practice, specialist practice, get your reports out and get the reports out quickly. I will guarantee you treatment uptake will be way much better than if you leave it a week or two for lots of reasons. But for from a patient management point of view, it would be great if I could get my reports out. And I’ve got I’ve got probably about 15 to do after we finish here. Um, 55 zero no, 1515 from the last couple. Yeah, 15 for the last couple of weeks and you know, I still dictate them and check them. So it takes, it takes forever from a business point of view.

I’ve had with.

Being so clueless. I’ve probably made so many that I’m just unaware of that. I’m just going to live in blissful ignorance. Pay honestly, because if someone kind of scratched the surface of how the place is run and he spoke earlier before about me kind of selling the practice in October last year and it was with a full knowledge that whoever took over it, all they had to do was look at the finances and would realise that with a tiny bit of tweaking, this place could be so much more productive because this, this buffoon has been running it for so long without even looking at the numbers. So I’m sure there’s been plenty of plenty of mistakes on the business side.

But you never, like, I don’t know, lost someone where you didn’t realise that that person was unhappy or.

No, I think.

We’ve had staff leave. Then I’ve got to say.

And.

You might look at this in a kind of a negative way, but whenever someone leaves, there’s always a drive in me to push the practice to a point where they regret leaving.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I know exactly.

It gives me a bit of a push to think. Right. And we’ve lost some amazing staff. You know, I can namecheck them in. Done. You know we can. Nikki. Our practice manageress, who was with us for 12 years. Amazing individuals, brilliant, amazing friends. But you know, there’s part of me that thinks, right you know, let’s use this now as a kind of an impetus to get this place, get this practice. Not that they’re going to come back where they think, you know, Crikey, that place has got better. Maybe I shouldn’t have.

Left.

Like that. I know exactly what you’re talking about.

But when I say when I come out with it, it just sounds a bit sinister. It doesn’t mean.

To.

In a positive way.

Tell me about digital, for instance. I had the same conversation with Basil, right? We said, you know the guy the guy knows his stuff, right? When it comes to analogue dentistry and then digital, it presents a bunch of new sort of unpredictabilities, if you like. And for someone, you know, I can understand if someone like you, sometimes the patients coming in as sort of last chance saloon. And so you know what you know and you know you know that you can sort them out in the in the traditional way and yet you wouldn’t be I mean Armenian if you hadn’t have jumped onto all the all the developments. How do you how do you how do you time it? How do you square the circle? I mean, classically. Okay. You’re not the first person to get it. You’re not the last person. But but tell me tell me about it.

Well, this is this is where I feel a.

Bit dirty before I’ll kind of feel conflicted sometimes. And I do sometimes see myself now, as I saw my previous mentors, you know, 20 years ago, where you looked at them, think we shouldn’t be doing that. We do things differently. I’ve been to this conference where you can do this, this way or that way and remember bringing it to them and them looking at me thinking, But yeah, but what you’re doing now has worked and worked really, really well. Yeah. So, you know, there’s a reason why we I personally haven’t embraced digital because a lot of the case we do our bigger case with lots of implants and think it’s one of those aspects of dentistry that’s very much technical driven, technician driven. That’s what’s been the driving force. It’s giving an example. One of the labs we use is thinking of going digital only. Yeah, well you’re going, you’re going to force the hand of clinical dentistry, you’re going to force you’re at a major crossroads in clinical dentistry. Then if you can only then just do digital honestly on a day to day basis, I’m taking analogue impressions and I’m thinking, could I have done this digitally? And it’s not just the fact that I don’t have the experience with it, but with my knowledge, with what I know of, of scanning, I look at very few cases and think, yes, I think I would have been as confident about as doing this with an analogue, as digital, as with an analogue.

And until I lose that, that’s that comfort zone and I need to step over that line and put my toe on the on the out of my comfort zone because it shouldn’t be the learning curve. They should put you off. It’s the end result. But, you know, we’ve gone for, you know, we’re doing the digital you know, we’re doing digital stuff on the lab side. We’re getting kind of, you know, the models and, and the, the, the frame checks and stuff. And I don’t think is as good as the old technique, you know, for, for accuracy of fit. I honestly think the gold standard is still a custom abutments With a cast framework you don’t get any better. But also no insane that I’m going to come across as a complete dinosaur.

Which is fine. I don’t mind it. I don’t mind it.

What about. Okay, so the other aspects of digital, I mean, there’s there’s the communication side, which is a lot easier with digital. There’s some people some people even say that they use it for diagnosis. For instance, tooth wear. Right? You can you can take a scan with the old trios and then in three years time, take another scan and see the exact amount of tooth loss between the two.

So. So something like Beautiful things.

Yeah. Yeah. No, for something like that. And that’s the shame of it is that, you know, that’s becoming so, you know scanners are so became so much more prevalent now. Yeah. But the thing they should be used for is something like that. They’re not being useful. Someone will, will do more Invisalign cases than they’ll do wear monitoring cases, you know. So for management of tooth wear, quantifying the amount of tooth structure lost over a period of time, it is going to be brilliant and it should be it should be feeding into research now because it’s been around for long enough for people in practice, for colleagues in practice to be able to put forward cases where they show the rate of. Where on fully dentate, partially dentate cases, different occlusions, different aetiologies and get a body of work that can be can be really useful. Taking it on. But again, you know from on a digital side, I’m just I come from a very naive. We’ve had a scanner for 12 months.

Have you.

Have you not used it? Yeah, I’ve not used it. Did you get.

I’m embarrassed to say that, you know.

Well, you know, it is what it is. It is what it is. What about your younger colleagues? Do they not want to?

Well, that’s the thing. That’s the beauty. So we’ve kind of asked the team that we’ve got. It is, you know, there is some thought that’s put into it. So we’re getting gutted. The guys who have joined us, Calum, James, Gavin, these guys are all the guys who have shown an interest in the digital side who can now and I’m going to ride on their coattails if there’s going to be any if there’s going to be any benefit of being at this stage of your career is that you get the younger guys in who’ve got the the, the nous, the the the dedication to be able to take this. And this is where, you know, our practice has got a there’s a there’s a journey still left. You know, we’ve still got areas where we can progress clinically, non, clinically. And I think the the guys who are going to take it on the digital side are going to be the other guys. And I’ll just hang on and and pick up what I can.

So you said we talked about you sold it last year. What was the sort of decision making process that led to that and when did you think I’ve had enough or what was it?

Oh, you.

Know, I’ll go back probably, probably about five years ago where I thought, well, at some point I’m going to have to sell it. So let’s get a value in, get it valued, and if nothing else, use it as a way of somebody else independently going through the forensics of the of the practice and seeing where I can then spend the next ten years trying to look at some of the figures and look at how we can improve things and make it a more sellable project. And offer came in just and just before the pandemic. And then for lots of reasons, it fell apart. And then straight after the pandemic, we bounced back really quickly because I think the nature of the work that we would do had lots of cases that we that were ready for restoration, lots of cases that were ready for placements than we had the backlog of cases that obviously built up over the pandemic together.

With the fact that we had.

Private entity went through the roof. Right. At that point.

You didn’t plan it.

Did you know everything about it? Whether and I think it goes beyond, you know, everyone talking about kind of patients were looking at their teeth and zooms or they were sat on furlough money. I think I think it was people were more available, you know, working from home. You weren’t you couldn’t use a distraction of a business trip or a holiday. You were around so you could come in any time of the day to have your treatment. So you weren’t waiting and, you know, go back. You know, we had a workforce that were willing to put the shift in, put the put the hours in. And we we caught up quickly and we so the rebound was was really good. So they came back and said, you know, we’re still interested did the numbers again and you know a few things both clinical and both family wages thinking now is the right time, now is the right time. In hindsight, I think it was the right time because the only thing, the only advice I’d give to anyone who’s looking to to to sell up is don’t do it when you’re looking to retire. Do it when you when you feel your journey is not quite finished because you want to be there. You want to be there. You want, you know, you’ve trusted your staff to take it to that endpoint. You want to you want to be with them while the practice then goes through the next phase of of getting better. And if you just sell up and disappear, I think it’s a real shame.

And you sold to Dentex, which is a unique kind of model. It’s less unique now, but they kind of introduced this model of kind of a partnership process where you they don’t pay you the full price and then they get you to stay for four years or something. Is it four years?

You say three and a half? Yeah, three and a half.

Three and a half, yeah. So did you did you have other offers on the table and you decided to go with Dentex or what was it, what was the story with the sale?

Um, you know, the thing with Dentex it was, it was I go with gut feeling. You know, for me, it’s a lot to do with gut feeling. It’s a lot to do with the people you’re dealing with. And, you know, one of the nice things about dentistry is kind of meeting, you know, 12 years ago, lovely guy, get on really well, don’t see enough of you. And it was the same with, you know Chris who represented Dentex. He was just you want someone who gets your practice, who gets the people who work there who who you have confidence will look after your set up in that incredibly turbulent period from where before, during and after a sale? You know, if you have if I had any doubts that the staff weren’t going to get looked after or that the new buyers didn’t get what the practice was about, it would have been horrendous. But did that happen?

Did you have other buyers? Did you have other buyers that you felt didn’t?

No, no, no.

There was just the one. There were the there was another buyer who I think was going to come back to us. But then we went with just the dentex.

Do you envisage that in three and a half years time you are going to leave or you don’t know?

Um.

No, I don’t know. Don’t know. The work life balance has been so bad for so long and I’m going to try and get the next three years to correct that where you can kind of truly, you know, not do your too late nights a week and you’re, you know, historically we’ve done Saturdays and Sundays and, you know, you look back and think that’s that’s ridiculous. But you know things like that digital journey. Yeah that should enthuse that should enthuse me and that should kind of add some energy and so things like that. I look forward to embracing and spending and it’s such a weak excuse the reason it’s just time you know, these these learning curves take time to you to invest. And if you’re working five days a week and you’re doing reports in the evenings, you haven’t got the time to be doing these things.

So dentistry is.

Tiring. Look, dentistry is tiring at any level here, but but at your level, it’s going to be double tiring, right? Because you can’t make a small mistake in the report or whatever. It’s a it’s a tiring thing. I’m surprised you worked five days a week all this time. Did you not think of dropping a day earlier?

No. You know, I blamed Robin Grey for this. You know, he built this work ethic in us where I don’t ever leave people waiting. You know, if someone if someone is agreed to have their treatment, it’s criminal to leave them. So the drive for us has always been get them, get them seen quickly for their first consult. Try not to let them wait more than kind of six weeks. And then, you know, you get someone coming in who’s kind of front teeth have fallen out. You have to be pretty heartless to say, well, our next appointment is going to be three months down the line. You’re going to find a window. So we’ve got kind of the group that we’ve got, you know, the guys we’re working with now, they’re all the same mindset. You know, if it means coming in an extra session just to get that person out of pain, to get that person out of trouble, then they’ll go through it. But so because of that and because, you know, my time was always I think was best spent. Chair Side wrap ports were always done on an evening lectures were always written late evening you know, emails were always reply to after a working day. So it wasn’t that unusual to finish really, really late, really late clinically and then have to do two, three hours. That will take you into the early hours and then you drive home and then be back again. And that was like two a couple of nights a week, you know? So I think I think, you know, I’ve done my time with that. Now is the time to try and get a balance and do things like this.

You know, it’s a massive sacrifice. Right. What you’ve just described there, a massive sacrifice. I mean, you’ve got kids, right? Young kids. I saw the picture on your on your WhatsApp. Yeah. Do you wish do you wish you’d done it differently now in retrospect or not?

Um. I.

It was out of my control. You know, I honestly couldn’t have done. The only thing I could have done is maybe have got someone else in that did the kind of work that I do earlier. And, you know, I’m trying to find someone now. And it’s difficult because it’s not about the clinical skill set. It’s the personality that needs to fit in. And, you know, we’re incredibly lucky with the the group that we we are. I’d like, again, I would argue the most conscientious group clinicians. And it’s getting someone else that fits into that profile. So the choice was taken away from me, an unbelievably kind of supportive and understanding wife who put up with it an amazing support team with the practice, the kids, you know, the time that are dedicated to them was was at the weekends. And I try and be home a couple of times a week before bedtime. Of course, you know, if I could turn back time, you know, you’d be you’d be at home for 5:00. You’d be you’d be at a dinner every night. You’d be. But it’s just what the you know, the kids realise that, you know, that the reason they can go on nice holidays and what they have is down to dad working. Would I ask them to do it? Would I encourage them to put that work ethic in? No, no. You do this to stop them having to do to make the same sacrifices, is that right?

Because I think I think it kind of works out that if they see that that’s the way their dad’s acted, they’re more likely to act that way. Like you learn that work ethic by osmosis.

Yeah, the work ethic is really important.

I mean.

Where did you get it from? Where did you get it from?

Is your dad was.

Your dad that that guy to.

You know, our culture is is similar. I think the Iranian culture is is one that works. Guilt is a big part of it. You know, guilt is a big part of it. And and the again, we’re we’re I’m a few years older than you.

But.

But I think going back to kind of childhoods and when you’re of our age you know when Iran that went through a revolution and a war you got a period of time where everyone every single person would have been affected by it to some level, whether they lived in Iran or outside of Iran. It affected people in different ways, the way it fed to them. My my family is that, you know, my brother and I left Iran when I was seven. He was 11 to move away to a foreign country where, you know, the only words in the year were, yes, no fork, spoon and knife. And and you kind of you’ve got to work to make openings. And then you find that, as I think I said to you before, you know, your blessings come from the people you come across or the opportunities that come across that you come across. And the the what makes the opportunities a certainty is the hard work, you know, And it didn’t take long before you realise that actually the more work I put into something, the more chance it has of, of being something that’s going to work in my favour. And it didn’t work for me for A-levels, it didn’t work for me for the, you know, finals, Pedes and Ortho exam. But you know, those are the things you pick up. But, but yeah, you know, work ethic. Absolutely. I think, I think they’ve got it. But I wouldn’t want them to miss out on the, you know, younger years of their kids the way the.

Way I did. Well, they’re young enough.

They’re young enough from the picture. I don’t know if that picture is a current picture that I’m looking at, but. But looking at the picture. Yeah. They’re young enough that you’ve still got some time.

Yeah.

13 and 13 and 11 and, you know, but I spent, you know, we spend all we, you know, wherever, whenever I’m not working it is we, we spend the four of us, you know, they, they can’t get rid of me basically, you know. You know, if they want to play football in the park, I’ll go and play football with them. We’ll spend time doing everything together. So, you know, maybe an absent for parts of it, but when you’re present, you’re present 100%, you know.

Are you dialling it down now with with the sale? Are you doing fewer hours?

Yeah. So, you know, Mondays I don’t work Mondays. Not because of the sale because I’ve had to give up my surgery to Martin Periodontist, who has recently joined us. And there’s only three surgeries. So Martin’s there now. So Mondays I tend to have off. So, you know, I can pick our boy up from school, which I’ve not been able to do for for a long, long time. So yeah, I’m dialling it down a little bit and it’s, it’s, it’s great. I love it.

I mean, what if I know this is going to sound like an alien concept to you? What if you had half a day to yourself? No practice, no kids, no wife, no just yourself. What would you do.

That you know.

Hasn’t happened in 40.

Years?

Generally it doesn’t have happen.

You know, I find the only time you have to yourself now is that, you know, there are times where I’ll take the longer drive home. Yeah. Not but I’m talking about like 3 or 4 minutes just to give yourself that kind of extra few minutes before you kind of get.

Get up super early.

Or go to bed super late. Well, you must have some me time somewhere.

It gets better.

Super late. Yeah, super, super late. But yeah, no, honestly, if someone could give me that. The one. Think I’ve missed out on is reading books. So, you know, you’ll find that I’ll have no opinion on so many things that are so important because I think to have an opinion on something, you need to you need to you need to be well, read about it. Whether it be AI, Brexit, whatever. And unless you read up about it, it’s pointless having an opinion. So all these things have kind of gone, gone by me because I’ve just not had the chance to kind of read a book and listen to music.

How long is your drive?

It’s 20 minutes. It’s 20 minutes. Not long at all.

Yeah, I was going to say podcast. Podcast. There’s so much on AI in podcasts, you know, I can recommend.

Well, that’s the thing.

But you know, but, but that’s that stuff you still have to zone into, you know. So, so for me, it’s the kind of zone out listen to some music and just zone out and do that 2020 five minutes and then you can kind of phase.

So what was the answer to the question?

If you had half a day, what would you do? What would you do?

I would read and listen to music all the all the. Yeah, so many things. I want to listen to. So many things I want to read that, you know, it’ll take a long, long time to retirement before I’ve had my fill.

So you wouldn’t you’re not a golf guy. You’re not a like a call up Marius and go and party in Liverpool guy.

And that’s of the order actually that’s probably the the order I’ve taken up the golf.

I’ve got the golf lessons but it’s the same thing. I think if I had that half a day, if, if I had that half a day it’d be, you know, in a cafe with a book and the earphones in and just it’s, it’s just the simplest of luxuries that that are amazing. It’s amazing.

So then tell me, what time do you go to bed and what time do you wake up?

Oh, man. You know, you won’t believe this, but you know, when when not it wasn’t that long ago that we would do our long sessions in the clinic. So we’d finish at nine with the last patient, maybe even later. And then we’d catch up with paperwork. So I’d be getting home for maybe two in the morning and then get up at six, 630. Wow. Yeah, 2 to 3 times a week. So, yeah. Yeah. So I tend to kind of go to bed probably about one one ish and then get up. It’s half six to be ready for the kids.

God, you’re like in max fax kind of time. Timing. That’s proper. That’s proper. My goodness. Slow down. Slow down for sure.

Well.

But you know, it’s but you look at look back at it now and just think, you know, there is no way I could have gone back. I could go back and do that now, not not the five days a week with two late nights that we were doing there. It’s and that’s what I’d say. You know, you wouldn’t do it again. And I wouldn’t encourage anyone when we have the the young graduates coming around now and say know if I could give myself some advice. Give yourself that half a day and protect it. If you can protect it. If you can, you know, don’t do admin, don’t do, just do.

I’d say a whole day.

I’d say a whole day. You know, there would be no enlighten if I was a five day a week guy I would, I was a four day a week guy. And on the, on the fifth day you’re right, it wasn’t a weekend. So I wasn’t I didn’t have to do anything with at the time. I wasn’t married, but kids. Sorry. Family? Yeah. And it wasn’t a work day. So, you know, I always encourage people, but you’re right. You need something. Dentistry’s hard. Dentistry’s hard. That’s the thing about it. It’s hard mentally and it’s hard physically.

It’s hard mentally, you know, because and it doesn’t matter what realm of practice you work in, you know, that patient that’s there in your chair at that time assumes they’re the only person you’re treating that day. And, you know, if it’s 8:00 at night, if it’s a nine in the morning, if you’ve had a child that’s hardly slept the night before, if you’re going through kind of personal issues, it that’s the hard part. And you know, for it doesn’t necessarily affect your treatment. It affects your empathy. And I think the one thing you need to have in if if if you’re asking me kind.

Of.

What’s the you know, the respect is one thing that we have running through us. And I think we we all in our practice are very empathetic of what’s coming through our through our door. And that’s that’s the one thing you can go into autopilot with your impressions, with your composite build-ups. But it’s really difficult to be empathetic if you are angry, if you’re exhausted, if you are in emotional distress, if you’ve got stuff going on. But you’ve got to you know, you’ve got to put the face on and and deliver. And that’s that’s that’s that’s what’s tiring. You know.

What would you say.

If I say, what was your darkest day? What would you say? What comes to mind?

In practice. Your talk.

Your talk is staying dentistry. Outside of dentistry, it’s another thing.

Darkest day in dentistry. I. Uh, let me think. There’s a period where I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and there was the option of either the the MSC or going to going to America. And I was I was just absolutely clueless. And and then just opted for the MSC. And it was either the choice of being with family or just being carrying on, being this kind of working solo with no very little family around and and chose that. That was a stressful time. There was a time when, you know, finished specialist training and there was no practice, there was nothing you’re finishing and you had given up my job at the university. So you, you, yeah, you have a mortgage. You have no idea where you’re going to work, but you hope that something is going to come around the corner. And it did. Um, they tend to be the darkest times. Yeah.

What about if I say happiest day? What comes to mind?

Um, happiest day in dentistry. Let me think. Let me think.

Dear. You know, I spent.

I spent most of the time being really happy in work. I honestly do.

And happiest.

Happiest day in dentistry. Um, probably getting the specialist training mid exam.

Getting that in Edinburgh.

Getting that exam. Bear in mind, at that time we had no idea, but it was the one time where it was, it was a culmination of four years of the one time where you’d actually the exam that worked hardest for that you made the biggest sacrifices for. You had no idea it was going to be a ticket to anything else. It was you know, it was it was a bit of a gamble, but it was it was the one time we thought, yeah, you know, this is something I’ve worked hard for and deserve.

Nice. I want to I want to ask you about courses abroad. If you what comes to mind? Like if a young guy wants to look outside the UK for a course. What have you done that that, you know, you say to people. Yeah, go see him. He’s great.

So quintessence do a course every 2 or 3 years and it was on this year and it’s a ceramics symposium and um a zing. I kid you not it is I went to it in the US just yeah. San Francisco. Los Angeles was the one I went to, I think six years ago. And we just look at the timetable, look at the programme, look at the speakers. There’s a reason why it’s not on every year because to get that quality is, you know, you need that kind of course. And it’s I think they do themselves a disservice by calling it ceramic symposium because it’s so much more than that. But yeah, and it was only because we had other things going on this year that I couldn’t go and I just found out about it too late. But it’s something if I had to kind of put something in the diary, I would suggest you go to that. It’s it’s brilliant. It’s one of those things where when you’re there, you know, you know, it goes to these things and you think, well, okay, I’ll find a little window where I can go out for a coffee and explore the local area. None of that happening. You’re there from nine till five, three, four days because because it is that good. You know, the European Academy of Aesthetic Dentistry, they’re doing an amazing programme every couple of years. That’s that’s also similar. Very good.

If if you were giving me some advice regarding guests for this podcast, who would you like to see? Whose story would you most like to hear?

Oh wow.

People in dentistry.

Yeah. Bearing in mind it’s called Dental. Leaders.

Yeah, yeah.

That’s good. You know, honestly now, Wilson.

I’ve had him on. I’ve had him on.

Amazing, right? Amazing. Amazing. Just amazing.

Guy.

Just one of my favourites. One of my favourite interviews.

Just, you know, think again. Look back and think, you know, we’re talking about this giant of dentistry that has got this amazing ability to keep in touch with, you know, this idiot of an MSC student that started in 1997. And, you know, he’s been able to kind of drag people like myself and obviously hundreds of other people, never mind the profession along with him. I think it’s just amazing. Who else, who else I’m going to speak to this person experiencing Stephen Davis, who works at our place. Lovely guy. He’s got so many good stories and he’s been doing it long enough to give you a true sense of what dentistry is like and both in general and and referral practice and is is is a very charismatic guy. I’m going to bang the drum of guys at our place. James D’Arcy. He is way more articulate and eloquent than I would ever be. I spend most of my time just jealous of that man he is.

Let’s get him on.

Let’s get him on sounds. Get him on. Anyone? Anyone you say, Will.

James.

D’arcy get him on? You know, and he. He is an old head on relatively young shoulders. He won’t mind me saying that.

It’s amazing. We’ve come to the end of our time. We’re going to end it with the usual questions. So the the fantasy dinner party, three guests, dead or alive? Who would you have?

I said to you before we started that intentionally, I didn’t look at these because I wanted to think of them off the hoof. Um, I will go for my mum who passed when I was very young. My dad and my brother.

Oh, amazing. Amazing. I mean, how old were you when your mom passed?

Six months.

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. So then was there someone else that you call mom or not?

Well, no. You know.

If you could extend that invitation to other people, it would be my aunties and my grandma and granddad. They were kind of. They were massive. So ideally, it’d be like 6 or 7, eight people.

Okay. And just for you.

Just for you. This. This fancy dinner party can be.

Bless you. Bless you.

It could be three pieces of advice mean that you would leave for your friends and and loved ones on your deathbed. What would you what would you give?

I think friends and loved ones if you if you’re if you’re old enough, you’ve kind of learnt your life lessons. You don’t need advice. I think it’s more for the kids. Spend as much time in flip flops as you can. Invariably, you get as long as you kind of got a roof over your head, I think. Life just is generally more relaxed when you got flip flops on. So if you can find a job that they can do that, that’s great.

It’s the first time I’ve heard that one. Excellent.

Yeah.

Treat people with the respect they deserve. And some people deserve more respect than others. I think that’s probably the other one. And it’s something I did hear on a podcast not that long ago, which is kind of it was a psychologist who was saying that, you know, we’re teaching kids all these all this academic stuff at schools, but important life lessons we’re just missing out on. And one of the most important life lessons is that actually what you what you think about an issue, what you think might happen, what your thoughts are, what your feelings are about an issue, are very rarely the same as the reality of it.

Yeah.

So, you know, just just things are very rarely as bad as you might think, you know.

Absolutely. Absolutely. It’s been such a massive pleasure to have you, buddy. And, you know, knowing you this long and not knowing your story goes to show you that like how much how much people people should sit and talk to each other more. You know, we do it. We do it on this podcast. Right. But, you know, I know we don’t see each other enough, but such a massive inspiration. And, you know, it’s one of the privileges of my job, right, is where I get to hang out with some of my Dental heroes. So really, really lovely to have you, buddy. Thank you so much for doing this today.

Hey, thank you so much for this because it’s giving me a chance to kind of reflect on on kind of life and and what’s kind of brought you here. And, you know, I’m kind of name dropped just a few people but it’s it’s been lovely and and you know the reason I’ve done this is you know as I said I didn’t want to do it. Vanessa, my wife said, do you think you should? But it’s that comfort zone thing I said to you before, you know, sometimes you’ve got to dip your toe on the other side of the line and it’s because of that that that I thought was a good idea. And it’s been lovely getting in touch with, you know, being in touch with you and chatting, chatting away has been really enjoyed it. Thanks very much.

Thank you so much. Philly.

This is Dental Leaders, the podcast where you get to go one on one with emerging leaders in dentistry. Your hosts. Payman, Langroudi and Prav. Solanki.

Thanks for listening, guys. If you got this far, you must have listened to the whole thing. And just a huge thank you both from me and pay for actually sticking through and listening to what we’ve had to say and what our guest has had to say. Because I’m assuming you got some value out of it.

If you did get some value out of it, Think about subscribing and if you would share this with a friend who you think might get some value out of it, too. Thank you so, so, so much for listening. Thanks.

And don’t forget our six star rating.

When Maria Ensabella unleashed her London Cryo concept on the UK capital in 2006, she knew little about how to market the business successfully.

Maria chats with Rhona and Payman about finding her feet as an entrepreneur and gives a rapid-fire rundown of the benefits of the innovative cryo, hyperbaric, and IV therapies.

Maria also reveals the most significant mistakes and struggles she has overcome since launching London Cryo and discusses how businesses can retain their sense of purpose as they scale.

Enjoy!   

 

In This Episode

02.36 – Entering business and marketing

14.25 – Cryo and cold therapy

22.20 – Oxygen and hyperbaric therapy

25.51 – IV therapies

31.20 – Business, purpose and well-being

34.10 – Capital, exits and preserving USPs

42.22 – Mistakes

43.39 – Management

49.45 – Struggles

54.04 – Back in time

 

About Maria Ensabella

Maria Ensabella is one of the UK’s leading wellness practitioners. Since 2016, she has pioneered a range of treatments and therapies through her London Cryo brand. Ella is also a fitness enthusiast preparing for her seventh marathon.

I think giving them a plan and direction and letting them understand your journey and making sure they believe in that journey as well is really important in making sure that people you’re attracting the right kind of people to come and work for you. I mean, there’s still politics that you have to deal with all the time. And, you know, getting people to understand that, you know, we don’t all have to be friends, but we have to like each other, but we all have to learn to work together in order for this to work.

This is Mind Movers. Moving the conversation forward on mental health and optimisation for dental professionals. Your hosts, Rhona Eskander and Payman Langroudi.

Hello. Hello. So I am super excited because we are going to be talking to an incredible guest today. Maria. Maria is somebody that I had the pleasure of meeting when I got really interested in cryotherapy. So we all know that ice baths have been the hype. Everyone has to post it on social media, but I’m going to give you a little bit of background about Maria. Maria is one of the UK’s leading wellness practitioners who has pioneered a range of treatments and therapies in London since 2016. She’s a mother of two, as well as a health and fitness enthusiast who has completed five marathons and is training for her sixth, seventh, eighth. I’ve done six looking at number seven. Okay, amazing. And she’s also trying to keep up her fitness routine. However, she noticed that she wasn’t recovering as quickly as before and was more susceptible to her injury as she waved her goodbyes to her 30s. You look fantastic, Maria. I have to say. So whilst Maria was visiting New York City, she gave whole body cryotherapy a try and found it to have a number of physical benefits, including quick recovery from training. And it made her feel clear-headed and happy. And that is when London Cryo was born. So she created an amazing what I call a clinic, or would I call it a faculty or what would you call it? Would you call sort of the cryotherapy branches?

We call them wellness centres.

Wellness centres. I love that. And you also were in a corporate job which you left and dedicated your full time to health and wellness. And one of the big reasons why I wanted you to come on is because you took that massive leap into something that was unpredictable, almost, you know, going down that whole entrepreneurial route, but dedicating time to your mental health and giving that to others. So welcome, Maria.

Thank you very much. That’s a wonderful introduction. Thank you.

Perfect. So, Maria, tell us a little bit about your background. What job were you doing before you embarked on London Cryo? Sure.

So I was an accountant and I was always passionate about health and wellness and just saw when I was training, as you had mentioned, that as I was getting older, I was getting more susceptible to injuries and just thought it was time to step into the wellness space.

Maria, I wanted to ask you, though, do you think I mean, you talk about your physical injuries that were happening, but do you think that also subconsciously there was something going on with your mental health and your mind that also pushed you into this trajectory, wanting to leave the corporate world?

Of course, I was trying to juggle being an accountant as well as being a mother of two, and it was quite a stressful time trying to juggle both. I mean, I live in the UK without my family who are all back in Australia, so trying to juggle everything was actually did take a strain on me mentally. So when there was an opportunity to go into the wellness space and create something that would also I would benefit from mentally, then it was just a no brainer to take that that risk.

Maria, tell me tell me about the, you know, the difference between when you’ve got a job, the paycheque comes in every month. Yes. You know what’s expected of you. It’s similar every month. And then the leap into owning your own business. What was the the thing that made you finally decide to take the plunge and not stay in your sort of comfort zone of your job?

I believe so much greatness can come from stepping out of your comfort zone, but you have to have a belief in yourself and be passionate about what you’re going to do next. So I believe that as long as you have that passion, then it’s worth taking the risk. And my journey over the last six years has just been phenomenal and a testament to that. So it was well worth taking the risk to step into to the place I am now. And this do a lot of times where I think, Oh God, did I do the right thing? You’re always worrying about tomorrow. But, but because I believe in what I’m doing and I see the benefit not only on myself, but to to Londoners, it’s just it’s worth, you know, continuing to hustle every day to keep achieving what we’re achieving.

And so as an as an accountant, you sort of understood the sort of cash flow situation a bit better than most, right? Of course. So did you start then saving for the project? Were you thinking that way? Did it take time, like between the time that you decided to do it and the time that you actually jumped in and opened your first centre? Yeah. Were you preparing properly for that? Because most of us.

Yeah, no, I know.

Tell us your secret.

It was, it was.

Having amazing support behind me. So I do have a partner who is unbelievable and also believed in the project. So we had some savings and thought, actually, let’s take this risk. You know, you’ve got a certain amount of money when you work hard and then you save, save your money, then you can afford to take this opportunity. So we did have a little bit of backing behind us to take this risk and get us through at least the first 12 months.

And then did did you stick to the business plan as far as the income and expenditure?

Important to do that. So and as an accountant, you understand that that’s what you have to do. You’ve got a budget and you have to stick to it.

I don’t know about you.

Well.

Let’s let’s delve into that a little bit easier. So tell me, what did your what would you say if you could speak broadly speaking, a business plan should consist of maybe five points important things.

It definitely needs to include your vision and then the steps on how to get through the first 12 months. You need to have a cash flow projection for the first 12 months. That’s really important. Have an understanding of what your outgoings are going to be and how you’re going to cover those for the first for the first 12 months. I think that’s the first place where you how.

Do you decide how many treatments a week you’re going to be doing? Because you need to project that.

I know, I know.

So you had no idea was it going to be five treatments a day or one treatment a day? You had to. Are you ultra pessimistic at that point?

We were a little bit optimistic, to be honest. And we thought, especially when you’re pricing your first session of cryo at £90 a session and you’re thinking, okay, I need to at least have like 2 or 300 people coming in in the, you know, in the first month. Mind you, we didn’t have that in the first month. It was it was a lot of days of having no one come in because we were still trying to establish the brand and as well the awareness of the treatment of cryotherapy because it was still unknown in the UK market. And I think we’ve made amazing inroads in the last six years. But you know, having we were a bit optimistic with our projections and thought, okay, we’re going to charge £90 a session, we’re going to have X amount of people coming in, so we’ll be okay to get us through. It didn’t work out that way. So it’s like you have the savings and the plan to get you through that period.

And how about from the sort of awareness marketing perspective? Because as the first. Yeah. What did you do? Did you, did you start spending on marketing? Was it social media? Did you get famous influencers or whatever?

How did you do it?

So, so.

I’m a big fan of Instagram. So, so we did have a bit of a social media plan. I come from accounting, not from marketing, so I didn’t understand how important marketing was, didn’t put much into the website and stuff. So it didn’t understand like, I mean, it’s improved since then because you understand so much was missing. In order for people to understand what we were doing, they were landing on a page, for example, with a picture of London at first, and it’s like, actually that doesn’t tell people what we’re doing about cryotherapy. So obviously you learn as you go. But at the beginning of the journey it was a lot of trying to get into corporates to try and promote our services and get to educate people about cryotherapy and who we can help and our vision as well. So there was a lot of, you know, road, you know, road shows at the beginning of our journey. And then from that, from that we also had a few influencers, not many. So but the people that we did have were enough to help us start creating a social media presence.

Did you go after them or did they happen to come to you?

Can I be totally honest? I sat in my hairdresser’s chair the day before we opened and I thought, How is anyone even going to know? I opened up this business. I didn’t understand all the marketing that should have been done prior to opening. And he said, I’m going to give you these my five contacts. You contact them and say, I’ve sent you, get them in, and then they’ll post and you post. And that’s how that journey started. And then I think because I might have had the right few people, they all didn’t say yes, only a few did. But then because it was starting to become a bit active on our social media page and what we were doing was niche in the UK market, we was getting into the right feeds of the right people. So then, you know, we were we were lucky enough that people were contacting us saying, Hey, could we come in, could we use the services, can we collaborate? And that’s what started that journey. And even with regards to to, you know, magazines and other publications, they were saying, hey, you know, you’re doing something that no one else is doing. Can we come in and do a feature? So I was very lucky with that respect.

And did you hire a PR company?

No.

No. It’s really.

Interesting. She had was.

Was was one of her original.

Well, that’s how I actually met Maria. We had we we interviewed was as well, but also was about the kind of like fitness space. Um, but.

It’s really interesting the question of what would have happened if Maria didn’t have that conversation with that hairdresser. I know there’s one aspect of it that says a successful person will always have those conversations.

But you don’t.

Ask, you don’t get that’s my that’s my life.

Motto.

But you’re very sort of that way driven. You’re marketing person, you know, loads of people as an accountant, as an accountant. And this applies to dental practices, right? You open a squat, we call it a squat, which is a dental.

Practice, which I pretty.

Much did with Chelsea Dental. You remember this?

A practice there, but yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was, it wasn’t, it wasn’t what it is now.

No, but it was seeing one patient a month and I literally Payman was one of the first people I called and I said, Do you think I should work here? He goes, You’ve lost your bloody mind. Why would you go there? There’s not a single patient.

I look at you now. Yeah, but.

I said to him. But to me it’s less of a risk because if I open up a squat and it doesn’t work, I’ve spent money on squat. If I make a practice work as an associate, I don’t have the overhead. So it’s not really a loss, you know? Fine. It was a loss of income, but it was like you. I say it was the three I’s for me. Instagram influencers. And there was an inside.

No, no.

It was Instagram influencers and Invisalign. The three I’s that made me successful. It’s amazing. And that’s what kind of, you know, created that.

That was a dental practice because it was a brand new idea in London. Yeah, It takes me back to when we started Enlighten. Light activated teeth whitening didn’t exist and it was a brand new idea. There’s some novelty in it, so you get some of those early adopter types. But I can imagine if it was myself, you know, I’m not like Rona, I’m not I’m not out there. And no loads of people. I’d sort of set up this place, probably do what you did and don’t pre-market. You’re sitting in this beautiful shop thinking, What now? Yeah.

That’s what it.

Was. So did you leaflet drop or something?

Well, of course we’ve done all that now. So, you know, I had some of my team, I only had two of us that were working at the time and and we would go out to Liverpool Street Station and hand out the brochures and stuff. Brochures? Yeah.

Remember the days of brochures?

Oh, I’m still a big believer in brochures, right? So I still think we need to have brochures and people still need to get out and do local marketing. I think that’s really important. I still believe in leaflet drops and stuff because if people are not searching cryotherapy, they’re not going to find me. So yeah, yeah. So it’s all about the awareness and dropping leaflets off and being, you know, in magazines and stuff. So and like I said, I was lucky enough I didn’t need to pay for PR initially. We didn’t have the budget for it and I didn’t know I needed to put that in the budget, to be honest. So I didn’t need that. But because it was so niche that, you know, these people were coming to me. And then I was lucky enough to, you know, you know, there was a big football show that was on and they came in and they recorded and got amazing exposure through that. The Russell Howard Show. He came in and did a segment.

All these people.

They contacted me. Right. So so you.

Said you got into it. You told me before you got into it because you listened to a podcast, correct. So I guess others had listened to podcasts as well. Yes. And so there was that element.

There was, of course, it definitely inspired, you know, cryotherapy, I need to try this. I’m training for a marathon. So, you know, going over to New York where I did the marathon, there’s thousands of cryotherapy wellness centres. So I went along and tried it, fell in love with it, understood the benefits. And so that also plays a part in, you know, having belief in what you’re doing and the passion. So you can come back and then say, Hey, there’s an opportunity here, let’s try and create something. And here we are almost 30 years later.

Now that you’ve got loads of competitors. Yes, it’s a slightly different thing, isn’t it? Because before it was this is where you come for cryotherapy. There isn’t anyone else now. There’s many different brands. You see them.

They’re still not London Cryo, though.

I know. So. So now it becomes like a differentiation story.

Yes.

So what would you say is the sort of the USP of London cryo compared to another cryo place?

I think our customer service, our our knowledge and expertise in what we do doesn’t compare to anyone. So and I’m all for the competition. I think it’s healthy. There’s enough of us in the market and the more people that are doing it, even if it’s elsewhere, the more the market knows about cryotherapy. I still think I always say this, I still think not enough people know about what we’re doing. And it’s not just about establishing the brand of London cryo. It’s also about, you know, cryotherapy itself. A lot of people still say, Oh, what is that?

Well, this is the thing I was going to say because I don’t think everyone knows about cryotherapy, Correct? I know that. So let’s talk a little bit about that, because it’s very much linked to mental health. Have you done an ice bath before? I feel like you’d never do that.

Yes. Cold shower.

Do you actually do it? Okay. So what is the science, the thinking behind ice therapy, cold therapy, etcetera, and how does it improve your mental health and physical health?

Okay. So with being exposed to the cold, especially when you’re doing cryotherapy, it triggers a thing called fight or flight mode. Okay. So you’re in the cryo cabin, you’re in there for a really cold 2 to 3 minutes. And what happens is the brain sends a message to your internal organs saying, oh my God, it’s freezing. So all the blood rushes to your core to go into protective mode. And so you’re freezing in there for a couple of minutes. Whilst it’s in there, the blood gets oxygenated, you replenish nutrients, flush out toxins. And so then when you step out of the cabin because you think, okay, I’ve survived this or that, oxygenated blood goes to areas where you’ve got muscle soreness or any inflammation. And what it also does is it can boost collagen cryotherapy. Benefits are cumulative. So you need to do like we recommend ten sessions and then your body starts to, you know, the internal doctor in us awakens and you start to get the benefits. It lowers your cortisol levels so people feel less stressed. But. People who are training for events, it helps to speed up their, you know, their recovery and they get out and do better performance and performances as well.

So question though, what is better, a cold ice bath or plunging in cold water or cryotherapy and why?

I’m always.

Going to say.

Cryotherapy because it’s a quick.

Two minute. It’s the alternative to a to an ice bath. And to get the benefits with an ice bath, it’s more about, you know, if you’ve got an injury. So you’re trying to, you know, to heal the area. It doesn’t do the internal benefits of what Cryotherapy does because, you know, the research inside and science shows you need to heat -110 or colder to trigger the fight or flight mode to get the cryotherapy benefits. You’re not going to get that in an ice bath. You’re going to feel amazing, feel awaken, which is all beneficial, but you’re not going to get the benefits of cryotherapy doing it that way. You need to describe it.

For someone who’s never seen it before. Describe what is it? How does it.

So what it is, is like, you know how you’ve got the sauna bed’s not a good example, right? So it’s one of those tubes and it’s standing up. This is the way London Cryo does it. You step onto the platform, Your head is outside the cabin with us. Yes. Because that way you can communicate and you.

Can communicate with the client.

Where you’re fully encased. Right. Where your head’s in it as well.

Correct? Right. And that’s called a chamber. So you can step into that. But but I feel like the way we do it, it’s really important, especially because a lot of people are scared to try cryotherapy for the first time because, oh, my God, it’s freezing. But we’re with you the whole time. So when you’re standing in there and you can communicate with us and we can just gauge how you’re feeling and get you through your first two minutes.

So what’s the initial initial challenge? Because with a cold shower, I found the initial challenge is almost like a breathing thing. Yeah, it is. But but also with the cold shower, I always thought your head was quite an important place to get cold. Is that not.

Correct?

Your cold receptors are all above the on the top half of your body. Right. So as long as you’re exposing the top part of your body, then then you’re going to get the benefits of the cold.

Go through it. What happens? Someone goes in, so you go in the ones who hate it, what is it they hate and how soon do they come out?

I think it’s more mind over matter, if I’m totally honest. Right? So once you’re in the cabin and I have an amazing team that talk you through the experience, you get onto the platform, we press the button and all that cold vapour comes out. But because you’re in there for such a short period of time and we’re quite engaging, we have great music playing, then you get through your 2 to 3 minutes of cryotherapy.

So everyone manages 2 to 3 minutes. Every time they try it.

Two minutes everybody manages and the door’s not locked. So if anyone ever says to me, you know, Oh, this is too much, we just open the door and get you out, It’s like it’s not a problem, Right?

So but also, I think that’s an important point to note. So what I found is with mental health, because this is something that I practice frequently, going to London Cryo, it’s kind of my little safe haven. When I was really good, I was going twice a week, but I tried to go once a week and I tell you what I do is, which again, I’m going to talk to Marie about. I do hot and cold. So there’s now science with hot and cold therapy. So that would be a red light therapy sauna. Then you go into the cryo, not the other way around. Not the other way around. Not, I know, but not the other way around. And Maria can explain the science behind that.

Doubly difficult, right, Because you’re hot now.

But you.

Know what? It’s amazing because I treat my sessions as London cryo because what I do is I don’t tend to just go into the cryo chamber because that’s only three minutes, spend like a good hour there or longer. So for example, they have the oxygen chambers as well. So I don’t know. There’s massive benefits to that. I don’t know if you know that as well, which again, we’ll talk to Maria about and I will spend time there. So it’s almost like that whole self love thing that we’re talking about, dedicating time to just doing something for your mind and your body. But for me, I just think it is the whole mind over matter because it’s that whole thing. If I put myself in discomfort on purpose, I become resilient and I feel a sense of achievement. And as we’ve talked several times, people in this world are continuously avoiding discomfort because we don’t want to feel we’re numbing it. Go away. So if we’re on purpose, making ourselves uncomfortable, that builds up that resilience.

You find at some point later on in the week you’re having a stressful Dental situation. Yeah. That you’re more resilient to even that because you’ve been through this?

I don’t think so, but I think it helps me de-stress because I naturally have anxiety. So if I feel anxious sometimes I’ll text the girls at London, cry and say, Can you just quickly book me in for a session? Because then that will de-stress me. It’s almost like it just alleviates the sort of yeah, yeah, yeah. So for me, it’s been really amazing. But let’s go to the science as well because I’m really interested in that. So what is the benefit of hot cold therapy and what why do you have to do it that way round?

Well, you have to.

We recommend that you do it that way round. Fine. As long as you’re not intending to go to bed after you’ve done the two sessions. Because if you. You cry, then you’re obviously going to stay awake and alert. But it’s important to do the hot treatment first, and that helps you to detox the body. And that’s what the great thing is about the infrared sauna and also doing the red light treatment. So, yes, if you do that, that’s a different treatment. And that’s just all about the red light penetrating the skin and recharging all the mitochondria in our cells. So that’s an amazing treatment as well to do just before you do cryotherapy. But the infrared sauna is all about detoxing, but that’s also very challenging for people as well. So I find.

That more challenging. I find I find my sauna is quite stressful.

Yeah.

The breathing part.

Of it, it’s just a lot.

Different. No, this is different. So this is the solar panels, that’s what. Yeah. Yeah. The solar panels do do all the heating. And so you start sweating it out. It’s not a breathing. It’s different to the traditional. It’s a different to the traditional sauna. Normally it’s.

A burns your nose and you’re.

No different. It’s different. Yeah.

You’ve got to try it. It’s in Saint John’s Wood.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes.

Yeah. He knows that.

My parents live on the same street.

Oh, you’re saying amazing.

And then it’s important to do cryo afterwards. Like you have a little bit of a break, make sure you’re completely dry, and then you do cryo. And it’s important to do it that way around because the benefits of to to you physically last for the next three hours after doing a cryotherapy session. So you don’t want to be doing cryo first and yeah. And then going to you know, being have a negative effect by doing the sauna. So that’s why you finish on cryo. It also gives you a burst of energy so that you can continue on with your day. So we do recommend doing, you know, the hot first and then going into the cold.

So talk to us about the oxygen because oxygen. Have you ever done this? No.

So so go on.

Go into a one of our hyperbaric oxygen chambers. And whilst you’re in there, you breathe in. You have a mask that’s attached to our oxygen unit. Yeah. Tank And. And you breathe in 550% more oxygen in a one hour session. And what that helps to do is accelerate any recovery and repairs. So if you’re injured or, you know, a lot of people who are still suffering from long Covid will come in and they’ll get fresh, fresh oxygen into their lungs and it will help them to become better because it goes into your plasma and then all the benefits come from.

Do you also feel better or.

No, You don’t feel.

Any You don’t.

Feel anything. Instantly.

It’s like that.

It happens at a cellular level. So you can’t come out thinking, okay, I feel great. But we do know we’re getting feedback from clients who are now doing up to their 2030 sessions and they can find they’ve got mental clarity now and having a bit more energy. So it does take doing it quite a few times to get the benefit right.

There’s a risk isn’t there, in, in when you’ve got a wellness centre. Yes. There’s a risk of taking on the next sort of fashionable thing.

Yes.

What do you do as far as you know understanding whether the next thing.

Investing.

Well the next the next thing really is beneficial. You know I’m in business, right? So businesses will come to you and say, look, we’ve got this purple light therapy that helps with whatever. Yeah. How much research do you do? Or do you have a medical director or how do you handle this?

No, we stick to being just a wellness centre. We don’t go the medical route. So for me, I’m inspired a lot by what happens in the US. So I find that if they’re doing something like our original vision was just going to be three cryo chambers and people just coming in and out and stuff. But then we realised after being in business for a little while, actually people just don’t want to be in and out, they want more than that. And that’s where we started adding was saying, Yeah, that’s why we started adding the other treatments, you know, And people found it as, as a place where they could come and just be, you know, like, like a safe place that they could come and spend time, look after themselves, recharge, have some self-love. So so we added all these complimentary treatments. And because I’m inspired by the US, we would try what they were doing first. And if I felt the benefits, then we would introduce it into London cryo because you have to believe in it in order to be able to, you know, to allow anyone else to be part of that treatment.

So do you know what’s.

Interesting, though, as well? So I actually have a friend who Payman knows who created a dental clinic that basically integrates some of the therapies that you have, Miguel, Stanley, Miguel, the White Clinic. And it was very innovative for its time. But they even go as far as to do kind of genetic testing and blood tests. And I think it’s really interesting because there’s such a holistic approach to dentistry, which is completely undervalued or it’s an oversight really, you know, because a lot of our oral microbiome, they found as well as as complex as the gut microbiome. And if you go to looking at treating the oral microbiome, you can actually help lots of diseases. So it’s quite an interesting approach. And they do the hyperbaric oxygen as well. And I’m sure that you know this as well. So a lot of medical professionals do a lot of Botox and fillers, etcetera. And fillers are known complication as vascular occlusion. And did you know that one of the treatment modalities is hyperbaric oxygen? So it’s something that if you have an occlusion, so i.e. know a blood. Arsehole gets blocked. The treatment is they’d have to find a place where someone does the hyperbaric oxygen to the patient can be treated to get the blood flowing again.

Serena, we were talking before you got here about IV treatments, but they also this is and I’d like your opinion. Maria was saying that in the US, it’s very, very popular.

Of course it is.

And Dubai And.

Dubai. Yeah, but. But she was saying that in the UK or we we were postulating is it that we don’t like sticking needles. I mean how come you’ve had all the other treatments and you haven’t had.

Well I think it’s because to be honest the.

Pain, what it is.

The dent. So with the IV drips as we know, where whenever someone has a deficiency or wants to feel sort of more energised or, you know, feels they’re lacking in something, they can have a vitamin infusion of a sort, a cocktail, a mixture of drugs. But the idea is, is because it’s given intravenously, it travels to the blood quicker. Correct. Now, I have to say, I am so all for holistic treatment. I need to do some more research. But there have been some medical professionals that have claimed it’s pseudoscience, including a nutritionist, that I follow on Instagram. And I think the idea is, is that you really should be able to get most of the stuff from your food and nutrients. But the reality is a lot of people don’t. And also it’s that the way that the the amount is delivered, your body can’t absorb it all anyway. Does that make sense? And this was particularly for vitamin C because everyone got obsessed with vitamin C drips during Covid. I don’t know if you remember this. Yeah. And then my dad, who’s a doctor, was like, It’s impossible for your body to absorb more than X amount of vitamin C in one go anyway. So you’re just going to basically we’re out, you know, like it’s going to be in your urine. So I think I need to do a little bit more research. I supplement loads, but I see an endocrinologist, so my endocrinologist, I’ve had a lot of hormonal problems and he’s put me on a lot of supplements.

He’s also a functional doctor as well as being an endocrinology list. And it’s amazing because a lot of my problems are being resolved now through his functional treatment and that’s through what the tests that he did. And they found a lot going on with my gut. And so so it was it’s been really interesting. And I’m like, of course there’s something there. But I think that’s the problem is that we have and this is my problem with Western and Eastern medicine as a whole. And again, this is why I think it affects mental health, because in Western medicine and the way that me and Payman were taught as dentists, you have a problem. This is your diagnosis. And then you give medication or treatment. But so often we’re treating the symptom, not the cause. And that’s particularly imminent in the NHS, which is why we end up fire fighting all the time with mental health. I have depression, take antidepressants, I have anxiety, take anti-anxiety attacks, I have bipolar, take medication for bipolar. But they don’t understand what the courts cause the diseases. And it’s funny because when I speak to my father about meditation, yoga, advancements and psychedelic medicine, all these different things, my dad’s a little bit, oh.

It’s rubbish.

You know, because he’s old school, you know. But actually if we integrate the two, the Western and the Eastern and we can see the way the Eastern world live, I think they have a high higher level of depression, anxiety. It’s because of those things that they do that lower level. So lower level. But I think it’s because as well they integrate those things into their life and nutrition matters, sleep matters, doing these things like meditation matters because that all heals us on some level.

I agree. If I can just say like that’s a really good example. What we say is like people will go to their GP once or twice a year. For example, they’ll come in to see us for their cryotherapy sessions three, four times a week, right? Because they know they’re getting the benefits. They know they’re going to be sleeping better. They know they know if they’re having their IVs, they feel like they’re going to be, you know, get their nutrition that way. So there there is that’s one of the big benefits we get of people that come into London because they’re going to.

Get those benefits.

Medical complaints that cryo really helps.

Autoimmune.

Diseases, autoimmune.

Diseases, which I have, by the way.

Yep, Yep. So it definitely helps with that. It helps insomniacs with their sleeping. So there are a lot of, you know, especially arthritis is a big one that we help people with because it comes as an analgesic. So they’re feeling less pain over a period of time.

So and what about what about the technology? The machines? Are there better ones and worse ones? And you said your ones are the head out ones.

They are.

That’s right.

So what are the what are the categories of of machines that you should look out for? If you go to a cryo centre, how do you know you’re getting in?

I would say.

As long as it’s the it’s more about as long as the team are qualified and you feel like you’re in a safe environment rather than how we’re doing it. I mean, that’s in the industry. We have a big issue about whether people do an electric or a nitrogen. I stay away from that argument. I’m a big believer in as long as you’re doing cryo, that’s all that matters, right? So you’re getting the. Benefits rather than. So as long as you feel like you’re in a clean, safe environment with qualified people carrying out the treatments, that’s what you need to look out for more than anything else.

Do you know how many crisis centres there are in the UK?

There must be at least 15 now.

That’s nothing. That’s nothing compared to the US.

They before Covid, they had like 5000. I think they’re down to about 3000. But there are a few companies that are just absolutely just exploding over in the US. But I think the English culture is a little bit different and that’s why it’s taking us a bit longer to catch up to anyone else.

So we’re very early, still.

Still very. We are.

Maria, I wanted to ask you, though, as well, the reason why that you embarked on this journey, as we said, is to leave a job that was incredibly stressful, to focus on a job that integrated mental health, wellness and physical health. However, you’re a business owner and you have many locations. Do you feel that sometimes your primary purpose, which was sought out wellness, is forgotten because the stresses of being a business owner and running a business take over?

This is so true.

Rona So yeah, no, it’s.

Very valid what you say. So, you know, people do say, you know, you want to get away from the 9 to 5 and stuff, but when you do go into business, it becomes 24 divided by seven. And not that I’m complaining because I actually love the journey that I’m on, but it is far more stressful now than it ever was when I was back doing a corporate job. But I know this is for me and I know what I’m creating for the London market. I know the people that we’re helping feel better every day. So it just keeps us going regardless of the stress that it does, you know, does play on me.

What do you what do you find the biggest challenge is? I mean, how many members of staff have you got now?

We’ve probably got 15 people that work for us now. Is that the.

Biggest challenge.

Or. Yeah, definitely staff.

But we’re just talking about that before you came.

In. But, but staffing going into business I knew was going to be my biggest issue. And, you know, we were saying putting things out into the universe, I feel like, you know, that’s come to fruition because staffing, I have an amazing team, but just not enough people. So I do, you know, constantly looking for more.

Sort of corporate structure wise. What have you got a manager at each site?

Yes, we do have.

A manager at each site and.

Operation.

Go to each site. Do you see each each shop every week? Do you go to every. I’m very.

Hands on. Still, I haven’t learned to let go.

So you can’t be like. I mean.

It’s early days. It’s early days. But we were talking about expansion, you know. You know.

How many sites do you have? Three.

We have three and we’re looking at another three now.

So so we were saying, you know, Maria comes from a finance background, as does her business partner and life partner. Yes. And when you come from a finance background, number one, you don’t make the massive mistakes that we made right at the beginning, overspending and under earning thing. You’re more cautious about that. Yes. But number two, they’re going for investment. Yeah.

And so you’re raising for this for these.

Next three, but.

Not traditionally. Like we just want like a white angel to come into the business rather than going venture capitalist.

Yeah, fine.

So so I was saying as as a business owner myself, right, we never raised any money. We got an initial bank loan of 60,000.

Yeah. That’s what we did with, with Paula was the same. Right. Like and now for our second round. But I think this might be useful because I often get asked, what is it? How do you go about raising money? You want to start a business, whether it’s even a dental practice.

Go ahead. Yeah, but like.

We were saying, like I was brought up different. We didn’t go out and do this seed capital raising. And so we don’t go that the new way, new age of doing it by going out to the market, trying to do crowdfunding. I’m still old school and you know, you go to the bank and you get a loan or, you know, you use your savings in order to start your business. It’s very different now.

I’m still old.

School Yesterday there one year old and they’ve got 52 employees, you know, venture backed. Yeah.

32. What is.

That? It’s a liner disruptor.

Okay.

Yeah. So and we were talking about the difference between being a venture backed company and a traditional company.

And what were the findings?

Well, you know, it’s just a different way of living, right? I don’t think they’re profitable yet. So for them, that’s the. The nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. But then at the same time, we’re now getting to 44 employees. 23 years later. Yeah. And on day one, she’s gone. Yeah. So, you know, to be a bigger, a bigger to play a bigger ticket sort of games. But do you think that becomes a part of it.

Do you think, though, when you do it the way that people are doing it now, you’re using other people’s money so you don’t have sometimes you don’t care as much as like if it’s.

Your own business?

I think they do care. But but there’s a there’s a difference in so much as Because money is plentiful. Yeah, you can you can.

Make those.

Decisions. You can throw money at problems instead of throwing solutions at the problem. And once you throw money at problems, you actually hide the problem and then the business. But then at the same time, I mean if you. To Sonia. She’s a Oxford graduate doctor who then went into consulting and superbrain in a clever person who’s aware of all of this. Yes. So, you know, of course there are pros and cons, but what my point to Maria was growing up in London, living in London, it’s incumbent on us to be fully aware of the investment situation. If we were sitting in, I don’t know Malaga, if that’s where we were born and raised, then okay, you’re not aware of finance and business. You could do it the way that I did it. But growing up in London, I’ve got friends in the city. I’ve got, you know, I’ve got all sorts of links to finance. And yet because I’m a dentist, dentist, I wasn’t even thinking that way. Now, dentists are thinking that way. Yes, of course. To open 300 practices, that sort of thing. Yeah. But back then I didn’t get.

The funding and just, you know, explode from day one.

Yeah. Yeah. But then, you know, sometimes you see the quality drop when that happens.

Well, that’s the thing.

I think like the thing is, is that I’m really happy with the brand that I’ve created and but for me it’s also about.

Maintaining were 30.

Yeah, exactly.

30 of them. Would it be. Yeah.

The thing is you know I might open up another but it’s about the like I think I’m more but again it’s all about what your value is and what you perceive like. I think reputational success matters more to me in a way. Like if I’m a very face fronting person. So I want people to associate quality and care. And I think when you start going, like when you become the Starbucks or the McDonald’s and stuff like that, yeah, sure, you’re into the huge bucks, you know, but also the quality can dip and I don’t.

Well, it can, but if you walk into Louis Vuitton in.

Sydney, of course.

It’s the same experience as if you walk into Louis Vuitton in Bond Street. Yeah. So, so it doesn’t have to the quality doesn’t have to drop. No. Yeah. It’s not necessarily that the quality will drop, but then you do see it sometimes, you know.

But Payman but on that argument. Right but you know, you know the numbers and the stats that all of these big fashion companies, some of them are living in a constant debt and also they make much less money than Primark and the cheaper ones. Do you see what I mean?

That problem. But but.

Look, there are schnell, schnell.

Schnell, Schnell has that problem.

So so perfume do they.

But the thing is, Chanel. Chanel makes much less than Primark, something like that. You know, there’s a crazy. Yeah, exactly. So actually what you’re trying to say is. But Chanel is a luxury brand that wants to be luxury. They’re not going to be Primark. So again, and as you know, Ryanair versus the more expensive airlines, you know.

That’s called positioning. Yeah, Yeah. So you can position yourself as £90 per per session. And I’m sure don’t worry, you’re going to get a disruptor that comes in saying £24.

Per session, of.

Course. And they’ll be you know, they won’t have the whole experience side. Correct. That you’ve got. And that will be a different thing. Exactly. So positioning is positioning. But but this question of growth and keeping the quality, I think of it as gales and do you know or.

Yeah, of course I do.

Or was this amazing?

I know you’re bougie array is still around. It’s in Saint John’s Wood.

But now it’s no good anymore now that they’ve got venture capital and it’s everywhere. But it’s not what it was.

Do you know, what do you remember when the first Lappin opened up? Lappin Yeah. So I knew.

A big deal.

I know the guy that opened it up and started it. And it was it was it was a disruptor. It was a disruptor. No one had experienced that. And now Lappin is so.

You know, I mean.

Gales You walked into Gaels in Aberdeen.

Yeah.

And it’s just as good. Just as good.

But do you not.

Think some of that has come down to what we’ve experienced and because of the staff and issues that they have and stuff? So I just think, you know, you can’t keep it up because we don’t have the same kind of workforce that we did. So that’s now playing a part played into that.

And I think the work attitude really interesting. I’m going to tell you a story, actually. So there was this amazing company online called Restore. Have you heard of them? Yeah. Amazing. So what they did was it was really, really niche because it was needed. So you say you’d had a handbag that was a Chanel Louis Vuitton or whatever or shoes. So they, they reconditioned it. So it was like brand new and the value would maintain and the service was impeccable. Like you’d go online, you’d book your slot, they’d pick it up, they’d turn it around. If you ever needed to speak to them, they’d speak to their Italia if you needed things tailored. It was amazing and it wasn’t cheap at all. Like I would spend a lot of money getting a bag restored and they’d even, oh, maybe like £200, you know. So that’s, you know, so their margins were pretty good. Anyways, they developed an incredible online reputation and presence. So about two months ago I thought I’d heard they resized shoes. So I had my shoes and I thought there needs to be a little bit bigger. So I sent them off and two weeks later they sent me a quote for it because you have to approve of the quote. And I kept clicking and it wouldn’t accept the payment.

And I tried to call. No one picked up and I tried to email. And no one answered. And I thought, this is really weird. And I got about ten emails saying you have not accepted the quote, so therefore we’re going to send your shoes back. And I was like, No, no, no, please don’t send them back. I’m trying to click. Eventually one of those like email companies messaged me back, What’s the one, you know, when they become a big company? And then they’re like, You get an email marketer? Yeah, something like that. So then I said, I can’t approve of the link. And then they said, Oh yeah, we’re having a glitch in the system. And I was like, Well, no one’s ever emailed me from this place anyway. But a month passes and my shoes come back and they’re not fixed. And I was like, This is bizarre. So I went on the Instagram and I said, Hi guys, you returned my shoes. Can’t get hold of anyone. Will anyone ever reply? Then I looked and there was thousands of messages of of patience. That’s the default clients saying, This is awful. You’ve not returned my shoes, my bags, etcetera. And then someone replied to me saying, Look what has happened. And they sent me a link to Vogue business and.

They got bought.

They got bought.

And the.

Business fell apart. It fell apart. And I was just like, This is just horrendous.

Imagine if someone buys you. Yeah. And then there’s something about Chelsea that’s special. Yeah. And I’m sure there’s plenty about Chelsea that isn’t special. Right? Bits that you could improve on. If someone buys you and focuses on the bits that aren’t special, but in the process.

Messes.

Messes up with the core, the thing that makes it. Chelsea Yeah, that’s where it.

Can all go wrong. Exactly.

And this is where you need.

To have your vision, your passion, so you’ll never be the same.

Yeah.

So I think, you know, from also from the mental health point of view, how do you think that you keep your mental health in check whilst managing so many businesses?

To be totally honest, I’m in doing my treatments all the time.

Yeah.

So. So I love cryo. I probably do it every day. The infrared sauna 4 or 5 times a week. I also still love to exercise, so I find that if I go for a run after I’ve had that one hour to myself, I can take on the world. So I think it’s important to find out what makes you feel good and make sure you’re including that in your daily routine so that you can stay balanced.

What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made in this business?

Oh, that’s a really good question.

And be honest.

Yeah.

Not having not having a marketing plan that I started with is probably my biggest mistake.

Yeah, but pre marketing plan.

Yeah, pre marketing. I think I didn’t understand like having a website, having my blogs prepared, not understanding how important all that was going into business. I just thought you got the numbers right. You’ll be okay. It’s more than that. It’s understanding, you know, the marketing side.

I think dentists make that mistake.

You’ve got the numbers right. But when you make both mistakes, right, you make the marketing mistake and you haven’t got the head for numbers. Yeah. That’s when things can definitely go wrong. Can go wrong.

Yeah.

Maria We discussed the difficulty of managing staff and I think that being a business owner as well, I think that’s been my biggest challenge and I’m sure for you Payman as well, is just managing personalities, understanding people. It can be. What do you think is the most important thing when it comes to managing staff and retaining staff?

I think giving them a plan and, you know, direction and letting them understand your journey and making sure they believe in that journey as well is really important in making sure that people you’re attracting the right kind of people to come and work for you. I mean, there’s still politics that you have to deal with all the time. And, you know, getting people to understand that, you know, we don’t all have to be friends, but we have to like each other, but we all have to learn to work together in order for this to work. So, you know, and just being I’m very hands on still. So being available and being seen by my team I think is really important.

I found, you know, one of the big issues in dental practice and you might have the similar issue is career progression is quite difficult. It is. So when you hire a yes, call them therapists. Yes.

When you we call them you front of house because because the therapist is mainly the beauty team. But we also have front of house team.

So when you hire one of those.

Yes.

Yeah. The you know, you can say to someone this is your pay and but this is this is the progression. Yeah. In most jobs but in a dental practice situation you hire a nurse or in this front of house person, you can say stuff, right? You can say you can go and train and you can become an oral health educator. But the reality is there isn’t much movement in career. Yeah. And so the problem with it is two things. One, you can’t make those promises and you can’t help people. And we all know that at work, you know, progression is what keeps people going more than even pay. Yeah, but the second one is that, you know, you end up attracting the kind of person who’s not interested in progression, who then ends up being a time serving employee. By the way, of course there are people who are time serving employees and are great employees, correct? Yeah, because they want to do a job well and go home and help their kids or whatever. But do you do you does that resonate?

Of course it does very strongly. So. You know, and for me, having mapped out a career plan for people who do step into this space because it was new, I didn’t have anyone here doing it that I could copy exactly. There was no template. So I had to create that. And I’m still learning and and that’s still being refined as we go now. Right? So, you know, coming up with all new titles and all new positions within the company is something that’s very, very much, you know, on my priority list at the moment. But the fact.

That you’re growing it, though, that kind of I guess you can say if you want to go from three to 6 to 15, you can kind of say to one of those front of house people, you can be an area manager one.

Day. Exactly. Yeah.

And that’s the one thing we did. Well, actually, I’m having being completely transparent. Staff at the moment have been an absolute nightmare in terms of we’ve got some amazing ones, but the the sort of long term vision is difficult to instil and I think more, as you said, with the auxiliary staff. And we found as well that there’s been a lot of people leaving dentistry as a profession as a whole. Covid really had an effect.

It’s turning up.

Is so hard.

Turning up, is.

It? But also I do.

Think that my team don’t one day a week they come in really that that difference. Right But your staff have to turn up. They do.

That’s right.

Yeah. And you’re not paying them any more than I’m paying them. No, that’s right. Similar situations turning up such a nightmare that loads of people.

Don’t want.

To. They’re finding jobs that they can do from home and not applying.

Yeah, Yeah.

And we get lots of dental teams applying for jobs here really for that reason.

But you know, I’ll tell you one thing, though. But I was thinking about this and I wondered if either one of you had ever done it. I think, again, in terms of because I’m so I do think in terms of like mental health, etcetera, it’s hard work. It’s hard to understand your mind. It’s also hard if you’re somebody that gets frustrated, angry, etcetera. It’s about doing that internal work and finding out why you’re act in those certain ways. You know, doing workshops where you have a speaker come, Do you see what I mean? And really taps into that emotive side of work? It’s not just about the physical side.

Sonia was saying.

That. Yes, exactly. And I do think, you know, I think I’m in the process of trying to source that where people are really inspired about the long term vision, almost like the secret. But if everyone understands the secret and the abundance mindset, then. Everyone does well and it’s hard to get everyone on that page.

Of it is you have to have the vision to close the practice during those periods. Yeah, of course. Of course. Or pay people to stay to stay longer or work over lunch or whatever. Yeah, because, you know, being in the dental practice is hard. Yeah. Whether you’re the dentist or the nurse. Yeah. It’s hard. And then to say, okay, I’ve got this inspirational speaker coming in, you can say, Maria, come in and have a little chat. You know, they want their lunch times and they want their they do their home time.

That’s right.

But then closing a dental practice is very expensive. Way more expensive than you’d imagine.

Yeah, right. A lot.

And people can’t believe the overheads. I mean, my dad came in yesterday. You’re going to laugh so much at this because my dad’s helping me make some decisions with the refurb because it’s made me really stressful. And he said to me, So Amy, my practice manager, said, You know, like a new dental chair can be like £20,000. And my dad goes.

Terrible.

He goes, This is dentistry, mine 1500 because he’s a.

Gynaecologist, you know?

And I was like, okay, Dad. But he is always like, because it blows his mind that dentistry, dentistry, like it’s exponential compared to medicine. The crop prices we pay for stuff, you know? So it’s kind of crazy. But I think it’s been it’s really inspiring speaking to you because I think that at some point in my life as well, I really want to integrate wellness into the practice that I create. Maybe it’s integrating it into dentistry as well in the same way that some other dentists have. And I think also the the fact that you’ve managed to keep that delicate balance between, you know, being a businesswoman and, you know, having your mental health, you know, still great is really, really important. Have you ever had I know Payman said, what’s your what was your biggest mistake or your big what’s your biggest struggle been? Have you ever had really low moments, let’s say, in the last five years?

Oh, definitely.

Can I? Yeah.

Shall I share? Like last night I had a breakdown just thinking this is all just really overwhelming. Like the amount of work. And because we are short staffed not to touch on that again, it’s like the people that I do rely on to get things, you know, that I delegate to them done. They’re not. That’s not getting done. So it comes back to me to do it. And then so my list is just huge at the moment. And so, you know, so even last night and then my kids and like my son, you know, needed to go to A&E yesterday because he had a football injury. And it’s like that’s the last thing I needed. But it’s like but his priority. So it’s like I have to put my work behind and and then like by the time we get home and I’m thinking and how am I going to deal with catching up with what I haven’t done And you know what people aren’t doing for me. So, so like even up until last night, you still have those moments, you know? But then I’m, you know, I try and be really positive. I’m grateful for my lifestyle and, you know, and everything I have. So like, you wake up and you show up the next day again, Right? And because you’ve got children, is it looking right?

Is it possible to have it all?

No.

And so what have you decided to sacrifice from having it all?

Oh, I don’t know. People will say I don’t sacrifice anything to be honest. Like, I still think I’ve got it all. Well, I don’t know. That’s. That’s really tricky, right? So, no, because I feel like I’m not there enough for my children, so you can’t have it all. So it’s a sad of sacrifice. Time. Time. Yeah, it’s always time. It’s always time. Yeah.

You know, you two are talking about stress of being a business owner, but both of you have got pretty successful businesses. There’s the real stress comes as the business starts to fail. Yeah. So now I want to know. Now your kid at the beginning, right? It’s like you haven’t given time to your kids. Or maybe you’ve delayed having a kid. I don’t know. Yeah, let’s say that’s the case. Yeah. At the same time, you’re losing money. Yeah. That’s when the real nightmare starts happening. And, you know, I don’t want to manifest it.

No, no.

We’re talking about manifesting.

Putting things out in the universe. We’re not. We’re not manifesting that one.

But the thing is, is that, you know, it’s just it’s a really funny one. And I think the whole failure thing is something I’m still really trying to understand. And I do get I’m better at it with, you know, with dentistry. But you’ve got to think like the most successful business moguls failed and failed again. But what makes them successful? They get back up again.

Yeah, that’s what that’s it.

That’s the secret. The secret is not just failing and just. And also it’s also knowing when to walk away. Correct. I think that’s one of the most important things that people don’t recognise.

It is because it is.

But it’s knowing.

But knowing is a massive superpower. Yeah, because one of the most important things is resilience and continuing and fighting through problems. And then you’re saying knowing when to stop is difficult. It’s difficult, you know, because it’s one of your skills is not giving up.

True. But then that is true. But if you’re not getting it or pivoting, you know, I think pivoting is a skill as well. The Lean Start-Up is also one of my favourite books. I’m sure you’ve read it. Yeah. And they talk about that real importance with pivoting and, you know, we. Learnt that with my start up parlour where, you know, there was a certain thing that the initial message that we wanted to deliver was like, you know, this is it, this is it. This has to be the only message. This is our biggest USP. And I was like, No time to pivot. Everyone is eco and sustainable now. That was the reason we started. But it’s not the only reason. It’s going to keep working. And you know that for me, like I learned that from The Lean Start-Up because I started looking at other brands and their messaging and what they were doing. And I think that’s a really important skill to have in any profession that you have. Is the pivot Absolutely right.

Of course. I totally agree. Yeah. Yeah.

And I’m sure you’ve seen that with the Nitin because as competitors came about, you thought we have to do something different now, you.

Know, So there was.

Even like us, we wanted to just to be a wellness recovery centre. But then we realised that actually, you know, we needed the beauty side of things, so we had to pivot and introduce those services together to keep up with everybody else, even the slimming, you know, And because there was a cold treatment, then I thought, okay, we can, we can incorporate in that in what we’re doing. So, you know, pivoting and knowing when to pivot is really important.

So, Maria, thank you so much for being with us today. It’s been an absolute pleasure. We’ve really enjoyed having you. I always end our podcasts with a question, which I’m finding because I wrote down that each guest has to answer.

Do I get to think about this before I have to answer?

Well, no, it has to be on the spot. This is the.

Thing. Okay.

I didn’t do on the spot right now.

Uh.

You’ve just.

Answered.

40 questions on the spot.

But we got.

Off to a bad start.

Right? So I couldn’t get. For me, it was a bad start.

If you could go back in time, where would you go and why? And it could be in your life. Or it could be like in the 50s or whatever you want.

Oh, okay.

If I can go back in time.

What’s your answer?

I’d love to go to the 1950s.

Would you? Yeah.

I just think it would be a really interesting time. I love that whole Mad Men era, Just like living through all of that Stepford Housewives.

I was.

Thinking dinosaurs.

But to just chill out.

With them, I’d be quite scared.

Um.

I would go back to when I turned 40, to be honest. Really good. Ten years ago now.

Why?

Oh, I was just at the peak of everything. Like I just had my children. We had just established the business. We had it all. I had it all. That’s when I had it all right. Gone downhill since then. But I had it all back, you know when? Ten years ago, when I turned 40, I felt like I was at the peak.

Of that idea that I find. I find it so inspirational now that you would give a lot to go back 20 years, like almost everything. To go back 20 years.

I wouldn’t.

Go. I wouldn’t go 20.

15.

20 years. I was not having the time of my life.

Ten years.

I was 30.

Most hated it.

Then. Okay.

You’re Peking duck. Okay. But. But I would and Maria would. Right. To go back ten years.

You would give a lot. Why? Why?

Because. Because as you get older, things. Yeah. You’re not as exciting as you were right now. In ten years time, you will give even more to come back to.

Exactly.

So appreciate today.

Exactly the question.

Why? Because I’m going to tell you because obviously I’m the younger one in the group here. I feel personally as a woman and I know that we’ve touched on this before. In my 20s, I was really insecure, didn’t know who I was, and I didn’t have a great time, as in like I had an okay time. I was really insecure as a woman and I was really worried about things that I shouldn’t have been worried about because society instilled in me that I should, like, be worried about having kids and getting married. So the whole time I was looking for a husband and that was kind of my 20s and it was a really like sad time. And then in my 30s I felt way more comfortable in my skin and I felt like I knew who I was as a woman. So I feel that despite the narrative society have created, like being in your 30s is great. Yeah.

Wait till you hit 50. You’ll see. Yeah.

Wait till you hit. Exactly. Because I’m just about to hit 50. And for me, when I was 40, I just felt like I still had youth on my side. I had like the ten years was next. Ten years was still going to be fun, you know, not as don’t look as old and you have more energy. I just had the kids, so it was all a brilliant time.

But you know, I think.

Wisdom is on your side. Do you not feel that your mind has developed in a different way as the years have gone on?

A little. But maybe you were more more damaged as a 20 year old than I was.

Okay, fine.

Payments like I still want to get on it and like Burning Man or something like that.

But I’m the same.

Burning Man is on my bucket.

List for sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it’s great fun. I had a great time, actually. I just got back from Africa burn and I was going to say the.

Thing, whether she’s happy, right?

But the thing that makes that whole experience really beautiful, really sadly, is taking things to basics, which is so hard. As soon as you enter the desert, you don’t have a phone. As soon as you enter the desert, you don’t have money. So what are the two? Those two things mean you work as a community because you have to look out for each other. It’s a group effort to cook for each other, clean for each other, look after each other. You have to be present because you’re just in that moment and guess. What that equals everybody being happier. And it’s really sad because as a society and as if we’ve developed as humans, we’ve disconnected from each other even more and we’re becoming less and less happier. And I think that’s really sad because you’re literally fending for yourself in this desert in each other, and it makes people happier to look after each other.

That’s a lovely place to be, right?

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

So on that note, thank you again, Maria, It was a pleasure to have you, and I’ll see you soon at London. Crier You.

Will? Thank you very much. Yeah.

Hopefully.

I didn’t want to say I still need to come and get that tooth pulled out.

Yeah, come in.

So thank you so much.

Thank you for having me. Thanks for coming.

Maria’s details can be found at London. Crier London. London Crier Cry just at London. Crier on Instagram.

Strap in for a deep conversation as Prav sits down to chat with GDPR consultant to the dental industry, Adrian Dray. 

Adrian talks candidly about his difficult formative experiences as the victim of bullying at an early age, a crisis spurred by the passing of his father, and the confronting of his mortality following a brutal confrontation with COVID.

There’s also plenty of practical insight as Adrian discusses the impact of much-misunderstood GDPR on dentistry and the potentially paradigm-shifting effects of emerging AI technologies. 

To learn more about AI’s potential impact, listen to the Implement AI podcast with Piers Linney and Aaalok Shukla.

Grab Adrian’s Exclusive AI & GDPR Freebies!

Adrian is giving away two essential guides on AI and GDPR exclusively to Dental Leaders listeners.

 

Get Adrian’s Chat GPT Guide for Dentists

Get ChatGPT – A Dental Business Game Changer with 100% by following this link or entering code DL100 at checkout. (Offer limited to the first 100 listeners only.) 

 

Exclusive Free Download for Dental Practices

You can grab Adrian’s invaluable Privacy Notice Template for dental practices (usually £57) here with this exclusive link or by entering code DL100 at checkout. 

 

Exclusive Free Download for Dental Associates

Associates can download Adrian’s website Privacy Notice Template (usually £52) by following this link or entering code DL100 at checkout.

 

In This Episode

01.52 – Backstory

05.03 – Bullying

22.07 – The dental community

34.48 – Breakdown and recovery

47.54 – GDPR—issues and risks

01.05.47 – Real-world examples

01.24.17 – AI for dentists

01.36.53 – Health, COVID and fasting

02.07.24 – Compassion and internal family systems

02.13.59 – Last days and legacy

 

About Adrian Dray

Adrian Dray is a leading advisor to UK dentists on GDPR privacy and data regulation and a former Data Protection Officer for over 600 dental practices.

He is passionate about helping dentists take advantage of emerging AI technologies. 

When you have something produce something like, for example, an email, whatever it might be, ask ChatGPT to carefully critique the above. And rate it out of ten for its effectiveness. And what it does is it says it will rate it out of like, oh, and after that prompt you can say and then provide me with a list of improvements to make it ten out of ten.

And then execute it. Right.

So then it really looks it. Yeah. So if you’ve got like a sales letter for example. Yeah, you could say critique this as Alex Hormozi critique this as Grant Cardone critique this as ex sales coach.

This is Dental Leaders the podcast where you get to go one on one with emerging leaders in dentistry. Your hosts, Payman, Langroudi and Prav Solanki.

It’s my great pleasure to welcome Adrian Dray to the Dental Leaders podcast. This podcast has been a long time in the making. Adrian Because guess me and you’ve been messaging through whether it’s social media or WhatsApp or whatever, and there might be a bit of GDPR advice I’d reach out to you for, or, you know, we’d shoot the breeze about AI and how amazing this thing is, but we’ve never actually really connected. And there’s loads of questions that I want to ask you. And I thought, what better way to do that? As have you on our Dental Leaders podcast as a guest. So Adrian, welcome to the podcast. I just like to start by I always do this. Just tell us a little bit about your backstory. Adrian where you grew up and what growing up as a kid was like for you. Adrian.

First of all, thanks ever so much for inviting me here and it’s great. Great to chat with you now. And my, my background. I mean, I think I probably won the birth lottery, as they call it. You know, I’ve heard this this concept today on on another podcast. I’m born into a middle class family in the south west of England in 1986. And white, like, everything is just like kind of okay, right? You know, And my parents were, were, were a little bit older, but I was the the big surprise, as they call it, you know, which is like hashtag accident. And, um, and I had a I had a brother who was ten years old, have a brother who’s ten years older than me, and my sister was 14 years old on me. So my parents had like some, you know, some help. My dad was in his 50s when when, when I was born. Um, but it was, it was nice, you know, I actually live in the house that I was brought up in. I’ve gone back, back to my roots and currently it was lovely living out in the countryside. Yeah. Yeah. Right now. Oh, wow. So I came back to this house was sort of keeping it as a as a family home. And it was amazing. You know, I’ve still got this can see from my office window the trees that I would climb up, you know, coming back from school, it’d be like 30, 40ft up in the air. And I look now like I would never I’d never let a kid go up those. Um, but it was fine for me back then. My mum and dad didn’t see, but it was good, you know, I bounced between, you know, state schools and private schools and had a pretty good education, lots of family holidays a year and it was good.

And my, my parents are sales people. So I think for me, learning like customer care, persuasion, not manipulation, I suppose negotiation more so was kind of built into me. And I remember when I was about 13, 14 years old as that my my dad wanted me. I never, never like a pocket money kind of family, you know, It’s like you have to earn your own. So. Yeah, yeah. They used to sell three piece suites, sofas and stuff. So used to bring back the old ones from the customers and I’d have to clean them up and put them in the free ads. Right. And sell them and get like a couple hundred quid. But 1314. That was great. You think I’d have that money to spend on myself? No, that went on my private school education fees. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, classic, like World War Two, Father, you know, but that’s when he was brought up. So yeah, it was, it was interesting. And, but I was, you know, I’m very, very fortunate. I haven’t got an X Factor sob story when it comes to my my childhood in terms of my family life. I think probably what would what was difficult I was bullied quite a lot in school. Massively. Um, and I think my parents struggled to deal with that. And I think I certainly had a massive effect on my life now and how I treat other people. And for good and for bad. It’s taught me. It’s taught me a lot.

So so just just a couple of things there. Adrian, you mentioned you were bullied. And I’d just like to just tap into why and how did that manifest itself? Right? I was for completely different reasons, mainly for the colour of my skin. Yeah, but for yourself, Um, why were you bullied? So what was the reason behind it? And then how did that manifest itself? Was it verbal? Was it physical? When did it start? How often was it? And how did your parents first find out about it? It’s one of the questions around that.

Yeah. No, it’s and it’s so weird. I expect you had the same thing that you can like flashback straight there like you can. I can picture the little school library. What was up on the walls The teacher like everything what the kids looked like and it was verbal, mostly verbal. And it was because I think I was I shown sensitiveness sensitivity. I was a sensitive person. I was. Quite defensive with things. I was a happy little kid, you know, And some kids just don’t like that. And when they just start picking on that, I should have just ignored it and walked away. But you don’t do that when you know you have a sense of injustice and you want to kind of defend yourself. And then sometimes that turns into tears, which is like, you know, throwing the throwing gasoline on the fire for those kids. They’re just going to keep going more and more and more. And then when I got a little bit and that started when I was probably about 7 or 8, I was I started off in a private school, was about three years old when I went to went to school. So between I was in private school between like three and five, six. And I went to state school and it started in the state school. And maybe it’s the fact that I was a private school kid. I don’t know. I can’t remember that far back. But it wasn’t easy at all. And I was kind of the reject.

But you say, you know, you can almost like visualise and take yourself back to those moments, right? Whether, you know, it’s the pictures on the walls or whatever. I remember. I can take myself back to primary school and I remember a little plastic paint pots and the brushes and the and the a board and stuff like that. The visions like that come back to me. But yeah, if we, if we go to like when you were seven, right, and you sort of close your eyes and you take yourself back there moving from private school to the state school and you say, okay, it was because I was a sensitive kid. And then and then tears came out. But Adrian, what were the specifics? What were they saying to you? And was it was it just 1 or 2 kids? Was it a lot of kids? Did you have some friends that stuck up for you at that time? What the words.

I remember one kid called Andrew. No, I can’t. I can’t necessarily remember the words. But I remember the exclusion. And I remember the fact that for me, even now. I am a pleaser. I like to please people. I like to motivate people, comfort people. I like to be part of something. I’m an extrovert. And from my up my whole life, I was involved with things family, friends. It was it was an alien thing concept for me to be excluded. And so I was excluded for that or things particular things were picked on and I didn’t feel like I belonged, even though they I had a lot in common with the people that were the picking on me. And, you know, these sorts of things with people with bullies and stuff going on in their own life. But I did have a kid that that stood up for me called Andrew. And he was I remember him just saying like in in the park or the school playing field, like, this isn’t right. This isn’t right. Which is great. You know, I’ve never seen him since. Yeah, but I remember that quite clearly.

And then so back in the day, then when you when you were seven, eight years old, how did that make its way to parents? Teachers? Did it I mean, I know today, you know, the amount of support kids have got in and around those sort of issues that someone would pounce on that straight away and it would be dealt with, stamped out, maybe even an element of counselling involved. Or there’ll be there’ll be older school year prefects or whatever who’d get involved and give the kids some time. Right. Was there any of that knocking about back in the day and how did you deal with it?

I remember. I remember this. I’ve never actually said this to anyone is that I remember going to the Headteacher’s office. She was called Mrs. Postans. I think she’s dead now. But she wouldn’t listen to us anyway. And she. She did see me by myself. She saw me with the other kids, which I think is not the way to do it like that. That puts I mean, I used to be a teacher. Like, that’s not the way you do it, right? To begin with. You want to hear kind of both sides. And she, for some reason kind of agreed that I was being oversensitive. And probably I was right. But like, don’t don’t say it in a way that kind of backs up the bullies. And she gave this illustration, this example of like her husband, he had a big beard and whenever he had an ice cream, she would she he would have like ice cream all over it, which I get now having a beard. And she used to have a code word for him, which was aeroplane. Right. And if that was, if she said aeroplane, that was the signal for him to clear his beard. Right. So she said that what we’re going to do is that if the teacher think you’re being a bit sensitive, they’re going to have a word. What do you think the word should be? Right? And I’m like, I don’t know what what it was, but what I do remember is guess what the bullies were doing for like the next year after that, running round with the.

Cold word.

Going round aeroplane aeroplane. And I was like, Thanks a lot and I can just picture them now coming down the corridor, three of them, William Michael coming, the other one. And I did get my own back on one of them, by the way. But about ten, six years later, um, which I’m not particularly proud of, but sort of proud of. But, but yeah, it was like it wasn’t handled very well and it got really bad for me. And I, I say this with appreciation that the bullying that you went through is, was very severe and I’ve never been subject to racial bullying or anything like that. For me. Is that that kid? I. That was my biggest that was my Goliath. That was the thing I really struggled with. And I’m trying not to tear up now, but I remember sitting at three rooms across me now, sitting on the ledge of my windowsill, thinking about jumping into a 30 foot conservatory that’s just in front of me.

Because at about you did.

7 or 8 years old because just.

Because you didn’t want that anymore.

So what’s the point? Yeah. Kane came back home really upset. Really upset. I didn’t think. Anyone properly understood me now? I don’t think I would have done because I’m a heck was scared of wasps and all sorts Prav. You know, I don’t think I would have done it, but I had enough like understanding of what that would. And I think not. I’m not saying I wanted to do it to to kill myself. I think I wanted them to feel something. And maybe it was a case of, oh, Adrian’s hurt himself and that’s the way they would understand. That’s the way that they would know that they can’t talk to people like that. Yeah, yeah. Obviously didn’t do it, but I remember it clearly. I look out that window. Actually, my office used to be there and I flashed back to that. At that point, being a seven year old, blonde, curly haired boy.

But you thought about it, right? There was a thought process going through your head that, you know, whether you’d have gone through with it or not. There was some kind of thought process going through your head. And then and then so that happens. And did you go home and speak to Mum and dad or was was there a conversation that was had about the bullying, the aeroplane, the, you know, the code word or whatever, and what impact this was having in your new school?

I think there was I don’t know whether I have blocked it out, but I don’t think it was it. I don’t think it was seen as a as a big deal. I never told them about what I’ve just told you. There never did that. But I, I, I don’t think it, I don’t think parents or teachers really knew what to do in the mid 90s. You know, this is all before like ADHD and you know if you it was hyperactive remember that. Oh it’s hyperactive. Yeah. Yeah but that was that was the thing. Yeah. So I, I, I don’t think they really know what to do, but then I think I might have blocked a lot of it out. I remember secondary school, it was taken a bit more seriously. But when I was, when I was in primary school. No, no, not at all.

So as you did this. Carry on?

Yeah. So I went to so the primary school I went to, which is my local town, everyone goes to the like the local state school. And my parents thought they didn’t like that state school because actually my my sister had been bullied there 14 years previously. And, um, so I went to a private school next town across. And a lot of those, I didn’t see the same kids anymore. Right. One of those bullies, he actually he was kind of not the main bully, but he was sort of part of that group he came across and. He kind of started it again a little bit in this completely new like group of kids. And it was then it became a bit more physical because you’ve got this. It was a boarding school and you’ve got the boarding school kind of hazing. I wasn’t boarding. I was called a day boy. So you go there for the day. And yeah, I started to get I started to get picked on and they’re being a bit more it was becoming a bit more violent now. The thing was I was getting a bit bigger myself and I think my housemaster pictured it and he was a big guy. I actually look like him now, but big bearded guy, six foot, you know, big as a broad. I’m not I’m not ripped, but I’m big that way. And he got me into rugby and I think he used to intentionally wind me up so that I would basically just. I used to be called the Hulk. Yeah. And I would, I would I couldn’t be tackled. I was really good at rugby at, you know, year seven, year eight. And I taught those kids a lesson and they did not didn’t mess then. I don’t I don’t you know, I don’t say that. Proudly. I used my strength to my.

To your advantage.

My nice Frank.

So I’ve got. I’ve almost got a rocky moment.

Oh, yeah.

Of something similar that happened to me. Adrian and I can. Do you know what? I can remember it as clear as. My morning routine today, and I was getting bullied constantly by a couple of kids. And, you know, it was the usual packy, this packy, that, so on and so forth. Right. And, and but it was, it wasn’t just it wasn’t just verbal, it was physical. It was taking my lunch off me because we were, we, we came from a corner shop, right. So we had access to chocolates and sweets and all of that. And we could just help ourselves from the shop, right? So that was, that was getting cleared from us. And I remember and we didn’t have much money back in the day. And I remember getting this poster tube, I’m filling it full of sand and hiding it under my bed. Right. And I would I would curl this poster tube, do some do some presses and and literally hundreds. Right. Hundreds. But almost felt like during that period of time I was in training for something. Right. And there was going to there was going to be a reckoning. Right. And and I remember, like every day when I’d get on the school bus to go home, I’d walk past these kids, I’d get a little bit of a pasting, and then I’d go and sit at the back and then get off.

And that would be the end of that, right? And there was just this one day and I’d got myself a hell of a lot of confidence. And what happened? I got to the back and the kids were and I said, Right, you’re going to get it today. And I remember if you if you stood in the middle of a bus aisle and you can see the seats on either side, right, and you can stand in between them. And I literally put my hand on on on both of their hand seats and I pushed myself up. But as I did that, I clocked this kid under the chin with my foot, and he was out for the count. Right. And from from from that moment onwards, I did not get bullied. Right. But but it was all it was all the sand in the tube and the training and all of that. That was the build up to it to get the confidence right. But can you take me back to your moment where you where you gave your bullies a good pasting and what happened after it?

I remember once that and it it kind of it kind of proved it to the rest of them that were there. So the kid, one of the kids that were that bullied me in primary school, he was at the the other school, you know, the one I said that people usually go up to from primary school. And we played we played them in rugby, which was quite unusual because usually private schools play other private schools and they will play in a state school. And he was in the scrum and in the scrum I was the tighthead prop and where he was was opposite me. And we’re in a second half. We had had many scrums, but where I was, my right hand was was free. And basically what you can collapse the scrum. And I was really good at making it look like they had collapsed the scrum. But as we did it, I just I just went and I clocked him lots and lots of times to the to the point he was taken off and he knew he realised it was me. Yeah. After, after I did it because I don’t think it even I changed quite physically change quite a bit and this is a good sort of few years afterwards. And I remember just looking around and seeing the other kids and they’re like, okay, that we’re not going to we’re not going to mess with, mess with him. And I, I think I realised at that point I was like, I and I’d done a few other things that I’m not now not proud of.

Yeah. Is like I need to control that. I need to remember that it’s just the wrong. And I remember there was like a news story at the same time where someone had like, punched someone in a in a in an aisle at the Tesco’s or whatever and like killed them with one punch. Like wasn’t even that big of a guy just managed to hit the right place. And I was like, oh, flipping heck. So it actually helps me in a way because I got to a point that even though I was still getting picked on, that I was much better in my my comebacks and my words. And I would actually, you know, they say like the bullied becomes the bully. I was doing that. Yeah. And so these bullies would come at me and my retorts would absolutely just I would just go straight for the sucker punch. Like just that their biggest insecurities went straight there. Like I didn’t care. And I’d sometimes I’d like re lyrics songs about them. Yeah. Then then the whole class is kind of singing these, you know, re lyrics of Fresh Prince or something about these kids. So I didn’t go physical anymore, but I went quite nasty the other way with with my words. So I’m like, now I look back, it’s like, yeah, I, I have to work on the virtue of, of holding my tongue.

Yeah.

Difficult though, when you’re really, really want to so close to doing it some days. Prav.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And so, you know, fast forward to today, Adrian. How what do you think the impact of that has been on you as an adult in your relationships with, with people, family, friends and, and how it’s manifest itself in just yourself as a person?

It’s taken me a long, long time. I’ve still I still have. I’m getting better at it, but I still have that sensitive nature. I still can become quite defensive and indignant and not always righteously and. It often comes out because I feel that. Majority of my time. I try my best to be kind and caring and comfort people and help people. And when that gets misunderstood and people see that as me being manipulative or stupid or whatever it might be, and it’s usually for their own agenda. I don’t know. It brings back this. These dark, dark thoughts. And I think I don’t deserve it. Right? I really don’t deserve. This is not who I am. I’m. I work on being a nice person. And I’ve only recently felt that it’s okay to be misunderstood. That’s what it boils down to. It’s alright to be misunderstood.

And when it manifests itself today, Adrian, like when you sort of you’re either misunderstood or people misinterpret or you find yourself in that situation, does that take you straight back to where you were as a kid in terms of emotionally the feelings that you were experiencing back then?

I’ll be honest with you, it doesn’t. And maybe that’s because of years of working on it. But what it does, what it does present is a lot of frustration and confusion, and my head feels almost heavy with that. So perhaps I’m perhaps my brain is fighting those impulses, those flashbacks. But I thankfully have a fantastic network of very close friends, particularly in dentistry, where, you know, I’ve had it in dentistry that right? I wouldn’t say like, call me down, right? I’m not I’m not that bad. But people I trust who are like, just ignore them like or let let them let them be like that because they’re only there’s a wider audience that are on your side and it makes you look look okay. So that’s that’s where I get to look.

I think our our industry can be can be fucking brutal, right? Absolutely brutal. I mean, if we fast forward to today, right? The sort of shit I see on Facebook groups, the sort of conversations I’ve had with either clients or not necessarily clients, but dentists or individuals who, you know, happen to put out their point of view or push a piece of educational content out there or whatever. And then it’s it’s just the one, right? It’s that one person who ruins their entire day week, whatever it is, and causes them to have some sort of anxiety or palpitations or however that manifests itself. And it’s usually the minority. Right? But you know, dentistry is fraught with that. Right? I’ve seen it so much. There are there are bullies in in our industry and they will hide behind a login and and mouth off or direct message or perhaps form small groups and stuff and make certain people who are trying to push positivity out in this world just feel so shit and look as as people who push content out there. Do you know what sometimes the stuff we put out there is wrong, incorrect, perhaps not accurate or whatever, right? Nobody’s infallible to this, right. But there are ways to challenge people in a public environment.

Yeah. And and shooting them down is definitely not one of them. Right. Certainly there’s been times where I’ve noticed some of my colleagues have pushed some info out and I’ve thought, hmm, maybe that is incorrect. I’ll send them a message and say, Listen mate, I know you have just created this Facebook post about attention to detail and how that’s really important, but there’s a spelling mistake on there and you may just want to re-edit that or whatever. Do you understand what I mean? But there’s there’s more sensitive ways of dealing with stuff like that, or you can just publicly shame them or take the piss or whatever it is, Right? But dentistry is fraught with that, I think. And I’ve seen it. I’ve been on the receiving end a couple of times, but I think I’ve got thick enough skin to just realise, do you know what, Screw him. And I remember actually it was a business coach of mine who taught me this life lesson and it was simply this, that the opinions of those that matter are the ones who will turn up to your funeral. And so when I think about that.

Wow, that’s very that’s that’s really powerful.

Yeah. So when I think, yeah, yeah, no, no, no. But it is for me, it was so profound, right? And, and so the moment I thought about that and then I think about the impact that these, that certain individuals will have and the comments of, of other people. Right. Actually, the only opinions that really should matter are those of those who are closest to me. But what do we normally do? We normally push them to the side and we let these other, less important people take over our emotions, our well-being, how we’re feeling and what happens. We go home and we take it out on on the ones who would be there at the funeral by not giving them the time, the energy, the attention, not being in the room when you’re in the room and and all of that stuff. Right. And so so the moment that struck a chord with me, Adrian, I just stopped giving a shit. Yeah. And, and that’s sort of a piece of advice I’ll give somebody if, if they’re caught up in that place where, you know, if we sit down and think that person who’s just who’s just shot you down publicly, do you really care about what what they think and what they say? Well, yeah, because they offended me. And tomorrow, if the world was to end and you were in a box or however you would go out in this world, do you think that person would give a hoot or turn up to you? Absolutely not. And so why let it bother you?

It’s I think that that is so powerful. And I’ve really I’m going to nick that off here. I will credit you if I ever use it publicly.

But whatever.

Steal.

Steal it. Right.

Um, but I would say that I mean, I’ve worked in a lot of different industries and dentistry is, is very unique in and I don’t want to be all doom and gloom. And I think maybe when we talk about like my Covid stuff, there’s a lot of positive stuff that came out of the community which blew me away. But when I compare it to a lot of the other other industries that I’ve been involved in, it can be very dark, nasty place to be. And it’s a small world in dentistry. And I think that these tiny individuals I’m not going to name any names and people listening, you can make your own connections on who this is. I don’t particularly care if they get upset and I’ll probably get a WhatsApp or whatever about someone saying, Did you do you mean about me? I really don’t. I’m just saying, you know, I don’t care what you think. The but the reality the reality is, is that they don’t understand that, especially when they’re quite public with this, is that just because you might have a few people that like your comment or whatever it might be, the general audience think you’re an idiot. Yeah. And I’ve seen this and I’ve heard I actually got fat shamed by a dentist about a month ago. And I had 3 or 4 people message me. One, call me and just say, that is it wasn’t it wasn’t explicit fat shaming, but it was implied. Right. And they just said, look, he does that. That person does not have a good reputation. Right.

And is this a dental professional?

Yes. Then professional one. Dental. Professional. I just thinking like I have for me, I’ve got to a point where. I have a lot of. Care and time and love for dentistry and my dental friends and people I really look up to. Including yourself. And I love being part of that community, but I have made it a kind of community that I could say goodbye to it in my life. I could say goodbye to it tomorrow. Yeah. And I could leave quietly. Or I can leave loudly. And the thing is, is that whilst I work on the virtue of being self-controlled, I think people forget that I know a lot of where the bodies are buried in dentistry. I know a lot of this kind of stuff. And as Jordan Peterson says, be formidable, be dangerous. And I think some of the top people in dentistry who have a tremendous amount of respect for are like that, who I see as and I mentioned, for example, Andy Acton. I hope he doesn’t mind me saying this. Andy Acton has been such a caring person to me, you know, personally and to my family during very dark times, always got time with me. He is the last person I would ever want to upset because I realise that that man has got he’s a very powerful person and he has nailed it. Absolutely nailed it. Is he is not his opinion online. I would take very seriously and I’d never want it to be against me. And I don’t think it would be. But he that’s the person I want to kind of be in this community. There’s too many people who don’t think like that.

If we look at Andy, right. And you know, we’re digressing here a little bit, but he is just a lovely human being to be around. Nothing but positivity comes out of him. You know, there’s a lot of people in the dental industry. I’ve never heard a bad word about him, though, right. So, yeah, you know, there may be, but but it’s certainly you know, I’ve been in this game for 16 years in the business of dentistry, right? As long as Andy’s been in this business, I’ve never heard a negative word about him. Right. So, um, and it’s lovely to hear that he’s been there in times of need as well, Right? It’s it’s true to his character. Yeah.

But I never want to. I never want to go against. And that’s the thing. Like it’s almost this respect, this fear of like, you know, ever and I’ve never seen him ever doing it. But I could just imagine if if he ever kind of like, Right, enough’s enough. Here’s what I’ve got to say.

He’ll fuck you up.

People be like, Whoa. Okay, okay. And I think that we have now we’ve got people that have these characteristics where they are just this kind of like, stop negative. It’s like, you know what? They’re going to come back or they’re just so inconsistent, you know, they’re like, Oh, I’m your mate. One second and then I’ll destroy you, the others. And then they’re like, Oh, you know, I hate bullies. It’s like one of the biggest ones, mate.

Yeah.

It’s just like people see it. It catches up with you.

I think I think in our industry a lot of is driven through jealousy from from what I’ve observed and seen. Right. And I think also, you know, having just sort of discussed the doom and gloom of it, I think the positives in our community, in our industry outweigh the negatives. Right? Whether we’ve been subject to it or not, and even yourself included. Right. There’s so much positivity in our community. There’s so many nice people. The relationships I’ve developed with my clients, some of them who’ve become incredible friends, right? So, you know, Payman Langroudi, who’s usually the co-host of this podcast, is someone I’d consider to be like a brother, right? And so I’ve made some wonderful friends through this industry, right? Um, and a similar relationships with some of my clients as well. Right. But, but it is, but it can be toxic at the same time. Right. But but let’s, let’s move on to more positive conversations. Adrian And talk to me about life before dentistry. Adrian So I know you as the GDPR guy, the AI guy, the Google Review guy. Yeah. And and the guy on social media is just happy and comfortable recording videos about whatever. Yeah. And just sharing content and positivity. Right. And also just, just very comfortable with creating content, right. And pushing it out there. And we’ll talk a little bit more about public speaking a little bit later. But what was life before dentistry? What was your career before dentistry? Um, Adrian, what were you doing?

Is paint like proper varied I think to bullet point lists was left school at 16 didn’t go to university. Dad was like get a job worked in an animal feed mill about seven miles from my house now hated that went into working for the police because my sister had a job. There was an IT support, became a telecoms engineer then thought flipping it. I’m 22 now. I don’t really like England and I think because I worked for the police, I was kind of subject to stuff that freaked me out. So I was like, Right, I’m going to move to Sweden. So I moved. I lived in Sweden for three years. I was a teacher in an international school, came back because for lots of different reasons. Family was a big draw. My dad was getting quite old, then went into a family business, part of my family that was in insurance and that didn’t work out. I won’t go into details why, but it just didn’t work out. And it got to a point. It was just after my dad had died. So I was in a in a bad state and I basically had a breakdown. So I lost it and I couldn’t.

And was that because your father had passed away or the whole combination of the job wasn’t working out and everything or everything was combination?

A realisation? Yeah, a realisation of a lot of, lot of stuff. And it just it hit me in a weirdest way. My dad had died about a year earlier than this particular event. Like I think exactly what it was. I was on a call to a client insurance client and I was actually wearing my dad’s dressing gown. I still have it now. Right. And in the pocket was a little thing of rescue remedy. And I would have rescue remedy when I was nursing my dad when he had cancer for a month. And I saw him decline. And when I was really I would take this to kind of get me through. And I was feeling not very anxious on that particular call. And I took that rescue remedy and I just burst into tears because the last time I had that was when my dad died. So I just had a flashback to my dad, you know, in this in in a horrible position, yellow, skinny, couldn’t talk horrific and didn’t work for three months after that thought, that’s it, I can’t I can’t do this. I sat.

After that call.

Watching cartoons. Yeah. Yeah. And about a week previous to that call, I was with a friend of mine. He’s very successful and he’s telling me about GDPR and he goes, he goes, One of the career change. You want to get into this? He goes, We just we just paid someone £1,200 a day just to advise us. And she said she’s only done a course like a month previous. She’s a business consultant now, knows a bit about GDPR. So I distracted myself. By learning GDPR. I read that law. I stopped watching cartoons. Rick and Morty stopped it, and I just read every article, commentary, website, webinar, you name it. That was my distraction and I thought, I am going to know this thing inside and out. By pure accident. I came across dentistry because I wanted to join a group of other privacy professionals. I hadn’t even done my course at this point. And I’ve put in GDPR and the first thing that came up was a Facebook group called GDPR for Dentists. And it was run by Derek. And I joined Derek and Peter and I rang. I messaged Derek and had an hour long call with him. And now we’re very, very close friends. And I started helping dentists with GDPR stuff. And I’ll be honest, I can say it’s now Prav. I was no expert. I was a few pages ahead of everyone else. Well, maybe quite a few, a few pages of webinars ahead of everyone else. But I learnt GDPR there and I did my course and I it saved me in a way because a few months later I got my my first job in GDPR. I was actually on more money than what I had just come out of as a GDPR consultant.

Just before the whole GDPR thing. You’re in a you’re in a really dark place. Adrian, you said you said you had a breakdown, right? There Was that there was that phone call to the client when you took the rescue remedy. And then there was all that time that you were just sat on the couch watching cartoons, probably not feeling very good about yourself or life. What what was going on there? What does it mean to have to have a breakdown and how the hell did you get yourself out of it? But how did you find. Did you have any motivation at that point? I’m assuming very little. What was going on in your life at that time? Adrian.

I was. I think the only way I can explain it, I’m quite a visual person. Imagine you’re up in the attic, right? And you’ve got boxes of all stuff that’s happened in your life, and there are boxes which are full of very. Dark, sad thoughts, and particularly around losing my dad and things that were happening in the business that I was working for at the time and. Lots of other stuff that I’d obviously compartmentalised and all of a sudden it was like those boxes have been. Untaped and cut open and the contentious thrown to the front of the room. And the front of the room was the front of my brain. So I had all of these thoughts that were just floating around and I. It was chaotic. I struggled to find the comfort in that chaos. And I, but I knew I had to get out of it. I just didn’t know how. But that’s that’s the is the confusion that the loss of clarity, the fogginess, what you want to call it. With the emotion that comes with it as well.

What was the day in the life like during that period of time? How long was it? And if you were to sort of describe to me typically what a day in the life would be during that phase?

In my pyjamas, in bed, wearing a red hat. A red beanie, which is kind of like sometimes my signature. That red beanie and watching, watching Rick and Morty cartoons. And that was it, being very, very quiet. Not really wanting to see anyone. Crying. I cried a lot. And I cried because I felt I had needed a release. And that was it was almost like a drug, like the cathartic nature of it.

And. And was there anyone that you were speaking to at the time? Were you were you just sort of going through this by yourself with a friends with a with a colleagues, a counsellor, anything like that? Or did you just have to pick yourself up?

I had I had a close, very close family member that was helping me with it. But I hadn’t really been through anything like that before. And obviously I told you when I was a kid, but I. I didn’t think about getting counselling. I think I was on antidepressants. I think I went on to some. Some kind of medication. But I realised that because of like responsibilities that I had, I needed to find a way out. I needed to get out of what I’ve got. What position I was in at the time. And, you know, it’s I don’t even know Prav where the breakdown is the right word for it. And I haven’t been diagnosed. I just felt like I broke down like on the motorway of my mind. Yeah. So, you know, I’m no clinical specialist on that.

But you were broken, weren’t you? That’s for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. It really. It’s. And I think, you know, I don’t know if you’ve ever had this where you have kind of you’re you’re down and you think, I’ve got so much stuff going around, I’ve I’ve got tremendous privileges and treasures, material or friendships that are around me. I really have no reason, reason, proper reason to be upset. Upset. There are people in far worse situations than me. And I’m feeling like this. And that thought in itself is, is, I think, the most dangerous. Because your self-talk is so critical. It’s like you’re not helping yourself.

Been there a million times. Yeah. And and, you know, especially in what you’d consider to be our Asian community. Right. The the recipe for success is this. Yeah. You’ve got a great marriage. You’ve got a healthy children, you’ve got a nice home, and you’ve got a great career and you’re doing all right financially. Yeah, all of that doesn’t mean you’re happy. All of that doesn’t mean you’re internally content. And there are so many people I know that have got all of that, plus ten have got my level of success, however you want to define that. Times 100. Yeah. And are right at the bottom of a fucking big hole. And and sometimes it’s very it’s very, very difficult to climb out of it. And for a lot of people, you’re constantly climbing out of it, constantly climbing out of it and just popping your head back up and then and then nipping back down again and dealing with your demons. So I do know exactly what you’re talking about there, Adrian. And, um, yeah, you know, I guess what got you out of that hole at that time was GDPR, right? Was that the motivation?

That’s so weird, isn’t it?

Yeah. No.

Tony Robbins.

No, no, no.

It was no hot coals. Yeah, it was. You know, I think probably what came from it was the fact that I like teaching people. You know, I had this opportunity of being a teacher out in Sweden, you know, it wasn’t I wasn’t a proper teacher, but I loved inspiring, motivate and taking these boring concepts and being able to present it in a in a way that was good. And I had been a sales person and I kind of started to realise like I was, I was thinking of what’s this 31 or something that now I’ve really got to nail these soft skills, these talents that I’ve got like talents, nothing unless you put action behind it. And I kind of just relied on a bit of talent before, you know, this confidence. And I used to be the lead singer of a rock band. So like, I kind of if I needed to, I could put on that performance. Yeah. But I, I realised with something like GDPR is like, heck, if I can, if I can teach people this and in engaging way, heck, if I can even sell it. Then if I to ever want to move out to something else. I have literally gone to the boot camp the hardest. The Iron Man, what do you call it? Of selling? Because if you can sell something as boring as GDPR, you can sell anything.

Sell anything. Yeah.

So it’s yeah, so that’s, that’s kind of what it was. It wasn’t a case that I’m a massive fan of privacy law. It’s just a subject. It’s all of the, it’s all the skills around it. That’s what I needed to learn. And it just happened to be that. That was the hot topic at the time.

Right? And so who was your first gig with?

It was the first. If you look me up now, who paid you?

Who paid you your first quid?

Who paid me my first quid. What? Oh, sorry. I thought you said first gig.

As in Dental. Gig As in. As in Sorry. As in GDPR gig rather than, um. Yeah.

I suppose directly, because I was working for a consultancy at the time. Can’t remember exactly which which clients we had, but I would say properly, me for my GDPR stuff was when I became the data protection officer at. And that was a massive triumph for me because I’ve been a GDPR consultant for six months. I got told about this, um, this position to be the data protection officer, which is a, you know, quite a high level for 600 practices. And I thought, I’ll go for it. Screw it. I am literally this, this role is three, four, five years away from where I am at the moment. Yeah. But I had to two interviews. I was grilled by two lawyers and it was in Manchester, so I’d have to relocate and I got it and I was DPO for two years and I found out that I was the data protection officer for more companies than anyone else in the country. I’ve been through multiple investigations, not just. A particular corporate, but with, you know, data breaches and stuff in dentistry. So yeah, my day probably paid my first quid. And since then I’ve had lots of lots of engagements with dentists on a retainer and, you know, an ad hoc basis. Yeah.

And so sort of fast forwarding from there, how much of your life now does GDPR consume?

A lot. So a lot. I actually yeah. So my, I actually work in financial services now as my full time job. So dentistry is kind of my. I don’t want to say like side hustle. I’d probably more say passion project because as you mentioned earlier, there’s other things which I’m trying to use these skills which I’ve built up to not just be talking about GDPR but other things. And I’m kind of using it as a bit of a dentistry. I don’t want to say playground in a derogatory way, in a disrespectful way, but I feel like, well, I can, I’ve got this kind of footing already and I can try different things out in dentistry without. And I know people and respect people’s opinions and I can deal with the idiots that say stupid stuff. So yeah, GDPR takes a lot of my time at the moment with that with that job, but I am starting to look at look at probably peeling away into doing doing other things. And it all comes down to helping people. That’s what it is. Just change the subject. You know, that’s GDPR is one subject out of lots that are coming through.

So Adrian, let’s help some people. Let’s let’s let’s do a mini masterclass on GDPR right now and let’s say, you know, dental practice audience. You know, I get a lot of people asking me all the time, you know, about about GDPR. I remember when this first thing when it first kicked off, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you a little story about what it did. There’s a lady called Julia Furley, I think her name is. And she’s a Yeah, Boris Love.

Julia Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Senior barrister. Yeah, yeah.

So what, what happened around that time was that, um. I knew bugger all about GDPR. Apart from what I’d read, but it had come out and literally every single one of my clients was asking me for advice. Right? So I thought the sensible thing to do was to pay Julia for an hour of a time, but go in armed with a shitload of questions. I got a value for money out of the hour. I kid you not. Adrian. Right. And then I recorded a social media video. I recorded a social media video as Prav asking those questions and Prav answering those questions and just pushed it out there.

I remember that video. I remember it so well. It was brilliant. Brilliant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that. And it’s like all this GDPR stuff about.

Yeah, yeah. And so, and I had to record it straight away because I didn’t want to forget any of it. Right? And it was very clear in my mind I’d taken loads of notes and I remember it was she charged me, whatever her rate was for an hour. And I think we got it done in 50 minutes. And I told her to keep the change it was.

She’d love that.

Because you know how lawyers are with their time, right? So, um.

But yeah, yeah.

But if we, if we sort of fast forward to today, Adrian, what are the, what are the things that, that a practice owner and then an associate needs to be aware of in terms of the movement of data and GDPR. So I guess, you know, we’ve got patient data, we’ve got staff data, we’ve got associate data, and then how that’s stored, how that’s moved around, who’s responsible for it and and who can. And I know this probably be on the scope of today’s podcast, but I’d just like to get some nuggets really, if we can just assimilate some key things that could that could help our audience, whether they’re an associate or a practice owner. When it comes to GDPR, what have you got to have buttoned down?

I think that there are some there are some key takeaways. I wish every practice owner knew. Okay. And it’s not going to cover every part of GDPR, but these are things that I say on a regular basis and I would try and make it quite punchy without going into the weeds of the law. What I would say is that GDPR is is a principle based legislation which is good and it’s bad because it’s bad because in dentistry we’re quite used to very prescriptive legislation like health and safety, which talks about measurements of time or units or whatever it might be. You’ve got to do this and this person has got to do that and that kind of thing. Gdpr has a bit of that, but it’s basically principle based and it’s based around human rights law and also security, which is constantly changing because the threats are changing. Now, the first thing I would say to a practice owner is you will never become 100% compliant and any compliance solution, provider system, whatever, whoever they are that says they’re 100% compliant with GDPR, I usually run a mile because it means they don’t understand GDPR is. Yeah. Um, but if you’ve got worries, contact me. So I would say that’s the first thing. Now that means that when it’s when you’re not 100, it’s not really possible to be 100% compliant and run a business.

Then you have to have a risk based approach to certain things. Now, this is always difficult because I think a lot of dentists don’t understand what kind of the risks are and therefore they can’t really show the right level of accountability for it. So the question is like, well, what really, Adrian, are the main risks? What are you what do you see are the issues from a privacy perspective and a security perspective? Okay. So from a privacy perspective, I think what I would say is that you’ve got to be really aware of people’s rights when it comes to their data. And this can really catch out businesses because it can waste a lot of their time if they don’t a are aware of it in the first place or deal with it properly. So people’s information rights, let’s call it, are, for example, how they’re informed about how their data is being processed. This is called a privacy notice, and there’s lots of privacy notices out there. And there probably never be read by anyone. But you need it to be your sword that you go into battle with and your shield when you’re dealing with complaints. So I’ve actually and I can give you a link to this, a free copy of the privacy notice that I’ve written up for dentists practice owners.

And it goes basically, I’ve adapted it to deal with a lot of the complaints and rubbish that patients can throw out. So you can basically, as per our privacy notice, if you’d read it, you would have known this already. Now that’s one of the main ones. It’s quite easy to sort out. One of the ones it’s probably a bit more difficult is around people. And I would say we often only think of patients. But you I’m so glad you said like staff and associates data and that’s their right to access a copy of their personal data. So you have no hope. They don’t inspire inspire anyone here. But if someone leaves a practice under a bit of a cloud, right. And they say, Right, I want every piece of information about me in WhatsApp. Messages, emails, recorded calls, voice notes. Minutes of meetings, that kind of stuff. It. Most likely they’re entitled to it and they can take hours and it can cost you so much in legal fees if you get it wrong. Don’t ignore them. Don’t start deleting the data. So I would say is that once you know that people can do that, when patients do it, there’s a bit of a pain in the bum.

But you can at least the data is in one place when staff do it and you’ve got practice. Practice owner who’s been slagging off whoever nurse practice manager over email, whatever. And that comes out. That can be very, very uncomfortable. Now there are exemptions available. But what I would say is you’ve got to be really careful with that. With that in mind, Prav and obviously cut over me if I’m going into the weeds. Cctv Gosh, CCTV is is a data protection nightmare. Because practice owners. I don’t know why. You know, Rob Moore always says like, never insult your client base. And this is I’m saying that because I say this with respect. I don’t know why you guys are obsessed with CCTV. I have never known anything like it. You’re quite happy to spend thousands of pounds on CCTV. But not in other areas with the practice really needs helping. And yes, I guess, you know, there’s security reasons. And if you’ve had a receptionist that’s been spat at, punched, you’ve been broken into. Totally makes sense to have CCTV in relevant places. But putting CCTV in surgeries in where the people are getting changed in the staff room, listening in to conversations, covertly recording people’s conversations, you are you might as well just get a blank cheque out. And those individuals who get caught up with that and they get told, oh, well, we got a recording of you.

Guess who they come to? Me. Guess who writes a subject access? Request me. Guess who helps them put massive complaints into the ICO? Me. Because I know it’s wrong. And I fight for those associates rights on a you know, I bet everyone and people who are under my retainer are spared of this. But I’m saying that because it is getting ridiculous some of the stuff and no wonder there’s such a lack of trust not to go negative. But remember that when you’re when you’re using CCTV, you have to justify the reasons that you’re doing it. Going back to the principles. Why have we got this? Oh, because we have broken into and we’re trying to, you know, detect and prevent crime. Excellent. Is it to monitor people and spy on them? Really don’t do that. That’s not there’s no justification an try saying that with the words you’re on or after it because that should be your test. So I would say that when you become more aware of people’s rights over their information, you’re a bit more careful about how you handle it. So that’s more the privacy thing. I don’t know if you’ve got any questions on that before I go to security.

I’ve got a few questions I’ve written down here, but I’d like you to go through it all and then I’m going to layer on top a couple of questions that I’ve got that I think would be quite interesting.

Cool. So with security, what I would say is that. You’ve got, then just need to realise that they’re more at risk and they’re more of a target than they realise at the moment. And I had an opportunity of, of talking about this in Nashville at the Dental Festival last year and I gave the story of a practice owner who gets hacked by a teenager and they deploy ransomware that makes them lose all of their data. And this this happens quite often. I think the statistics are a new business gets hit by ransomware, a virus determined to lock up or delete your data, a new business every seven seconds. So. A dental practice. Dentists. If you’re listening. Do you need your information? Can you go more than a day without your information? How much does it cost you to be without your systems for a day in production time? Right. So there are practices, and I don’t know why. I do know dentists who are getting hit by ransomware all the freaking time who are losing months of data. And maybe the ice is not going to find them. But, man, that hits your reputation that your production time, everything. And how could it have been prevented? Maybe give you a receptionist some training so that they can know how to pick a suspicious email? Yeah, right. And updating your software and whatever it is and having firewalls and this kind of stuff and blocking your access to your business WiFi and having your own guest Wi-Fi is another good one.

All this kind of stuff. And making sure you know exactly where your data is, if you need to back it up and how long it takes for you to get backed up and to make sure those backup backups are complete because people only find this out the hard way and they’re blaming everyone else but themselves. Maybe it’s the IT company’s fault. You should know, as a practice owner, you should. And I think as well with with AI coming out, you’ve got to be really careful. You know, banks are having people their voices are being cloned and they’re getting through past that. My voice is my password. Security. And that’s been done by listening to less than 10s of someone’s voice. Yeah. So we you know, you got to be suspicious. Don’t demonise. That’s what I always say. Suspicious people. But not everything is a hack. But train your staff. Get the right security in. Make sure you can get your data back to all of your data, back to the core data backed up and recoverable within a day because it’s going to cost you a heck of a lot of money otherwise. So that that those are my main things of practice owners. Associates I can come on to in a second. Unless you want to.

No, go for it. Go for it.

Any questions on the practice? Go for it with associates. You are what’s called a data controller under GDPR. That means you got responsibilities. Now you might thinking, Oh, that’s okay. I’m registered with the ICO. Brilliant. You’ve done about 5% of your compliance. That’s like me saying, Oh, I’ve done my taxes. My proof is I’m registered with HMRC. Tax return. What? Right. Yeah. So dentists have got some other things which are, you know, privacy notices and some other responsibilities. So especially when you’ve got like these, what do we call them, like super associates where they’ve got their own website, they’ve got their own chat bot, they’ve got people email addresses, marketing to them, DMS. Is the practice responsible for the data protection on that? Nope. It’s you guys, the associates that are responsible to that. So when you’re. I love it. Prav you ever see when people on Facebook like, oh, don’t accept any messages from me, I’ve been hacked?

Yes.

I was like, okay, what does that mean? Like, are they they they read your messages, right? So all of your patient messages, are they in your Facebook accounts? Manager Like, what does that mean? Do you really want to be advertising the fact that your work could be holding quite, quite sensitive personal and business data has been hacked. So with associates, you really need to just understand that you’re responsible for the security of that. But also when it comes to like using patient data, particularly images for advertising, marketing and research and training purposes, lecturing purposes, you need to get that patient consent. You cannot just piggyback on the practices for that. They have got the consent for the practice to use it. You want to use it on your social media. You need to get your own consent.

As an.

Associate forms and of course on that and that can as an associate.

So let me give you a couple of a couple of caveated examples here. I’m just going to sort of spitball with you with with some examples that are real life examples, right? So an associate comes to me, they’ve got their own website, they’ve got their own Instagram presence. And what happens is a patient inquires with them, they then via the associates website fill out an inquiry form and that the details of that inquiry form go to practice A or practice B where they’re an associate, depending on what location the patient prefers. That data then goes into the inbox of the practice, but it has filtered through the Associates website, so sat in the back end of WordPress somewhere that patient data on the Associates website is living there. Right? So now this particular associate wants to open his practice one day and has got this plan of sort of, well, those are my patients, so I’m going to send an offer out to them and market to them in the future saying. Dr. Smith has now moved and opened his shiny new practice here. Talk to me about who owns that data because is it is it the associate that owns that data because they filled out a form on the associates website? Is it the practice who now owns that data? Because that data went to the practice. The practice called that patient booked them in with that associate or maybe even someone else, and now they’re a patient of the practice. Who what’s what’s the situation there?

So you remember. The first thing I would say is that if, let’s say, for example, the practice engaged me and said, we’re really worried that Dr. Bob, whoever it is, has done this. The first thing I’d do is like, okay, what I need to look at is your data sharing agreement with Dr. Bob. And does Dr. Bob have a does Dr. Bob have a privacy notice? Because his privacy notice, as I said earlier, the right to be informed, will set out how he controls that patient’s data. And if he’s control of that data, whether it aligns with his associate contract or not. Okay. But if he’s the controller, it should say that I can market to you. Now, if he hasn’t got that and if he hasn’t got the consent for it, then he’s up the creek, right? The practice that probably got a bit of leverage then to say, you know, your data controller, blah blah blah, you’re in breach of your contract, this kind of stuff. So the associates against the wall with that. Now, what I would say for an associate say if Dr. Bob wants to prevent that from happening is he would. He would need to understand contractually. And I think there’s a there is a self employment matter that comes in this as well.

The worker status issue is whether the practice have engaged him and his lead collecting abilities, let’s call it, on the basis that they have to come to them. Or is it a case that because he’s a self-employed dentist, he can collect his leads and he can see whoever he wants and he is basically just passing that and the practice are just fulfilling their part of that license fee, that agreement to book in patients. Because if it’s the latter, then that’s what’s called a data controller to a data controller relationship. Right? I get the leads and you’re going to book them in and we’re going to we’re going to treat this patient together. Yeah. Yeah. Now, if if it’s a former and he’s just doing it on behalf of the practice, right then he’s got called a data processor. That means if he’s a data processor and he signed a data processor agreement which is required under GDPR, Right. Then it means he can’t use that data for any other purpose than pretty much collecting it and sending it to the practice. Of course, you’ve got all the caveats of the of the of the associate agreement and I’m not a lawyer.

And that’s really interesting. And does the associate need to take explicit consent from the patient in order to be able to market to them in the future or is mentioning it in the privacy policy enough?

Has to be explicit consent.

Has to be explicit.

So with that, yeah, can’t be covered off in the privacy notice. So for example, I see this with a lot of like chat bots and like the, uh, like the clinic, um, what it’s called now. Well, let’s start small assessment things that you can get. You can’t remember the name of the company now, but where they’ll get all the information for a lead. Right. And they’ll be like, can we get your consent to store your data, which you don’t really need that, right? But they don’t get the consent for ongoing marketing, right? So you’ve got obviously the implied implied consent of someone filling out that form or going through that chat bot and therefore you will respond to them for in relation to that lead. But that’s a. Yeah, exactly. But you don’t know where that person is definitely going to go ahead. Right? So you can’t just keep marketing them on the basis that they’ve they’ve had treatment. The bit which they should be doing is they should be saying somewhere in that chatbot flow or form or whatever it might be is Would you like to hear about our upcoming giveaways? Competition offers free deals and other offers, right? Like where it’s like the person and they they have a yes or no, so they can’t they have to select either yes or no. Don’t default to yes, but just, you know, the.

Make them make a decision.

Yeah, exactly. Before they can go. Before they can go ahead and. If you’ve got that, then it could be that it’s on the on that associates website. Then that’s where I would put in it not to collect the marketing consent for the practice. They can do that on their own time. But for me as an associate, I want to have that so I can start sending a newsletter out. So that means if I go somewhere else or there’s Dr. Bob’s now got his own practice, just letting all my subscribers know about this, Of course, check out get legal advice on your associate agreement. But from a data protection perspective, Privacy Notice, you’ve got that consent. You can do it.

Yeah, perfect.

Now hate me for that.

But I think it’s important, right? Whether you’re an associate or a practice owner, just make sure you make sure whatever your plan is for that data, you’ve got your shit covered off in whichever direction you want to take it, Right? So if you’re taking explicit consent from that patient who’s inquiring because they found you on Instagram, they landed on your website, they filled out a form and you say to that patient, Hey, you are a patient of Prav Prav is going to get in touch with you in the future and market to you, but I’m going to pass your data on to the practice where I operate from now so that I can treat you. Are you cool with that? Yes or no, or words to that effect? Right. And then and then whatever the agreement is with the practice is another, another conversation, agreement, whatever that goes on. But I’ve got a question because you alluded to it about the contact forms, about continuing to market to these patients. I’m an implant patient and on average it takes about 12 to 18 months to two to convert me. And the reason being is I could be at any stage in that funnel and I could be early consideration.

Where do you know what I know I’ve got a missing tooth, but I’m not quite ready to part with three grand but want to learn about what the options are and this, that and the other. So screw it. I’ll fill out a form on Facebook. Someone will contact me and I’ll ignore the calls. I’ll get a few emails. I might respond to the odd one, but I’m definitely not ready to buy today, but I might be ready to buy in 6 or 12 months time. And the data in the practice is really clear that we have a ton of implant patients. Over 50% of the inquiries that come in today will convert in 12 to 18 months time. Right? So we know that that data exists, right? And so this theoretical question to you, Adrian, is this that I have inquired about implant treatment and that practice is going to continue. To communicate with me for 12 months or 18 months only about my inquiry and nothing else. Because of legitimate interests. What are your thoughts on that?

So I would say that. I think if if the communication is quite specific to that person and about their particular needs rather than a kind of a mass message, then you could rely on legitimate interest. Now, the thing about legitimate interest is that the law says you have to have a legitimate interest assessment, which is looking at the purpose, the necessity. I can’t remember the next one. Done one today. But effectively what you’re trying to do is saying, look, we this is how we’re going to grow our business and we don’t think that this is going to really hit the privacy rights or is going to have a negative impact on the individual. And you know what? Any time they say that we can, they don’t want it any more. They can opt out. We can take them off our list. Now, in that particular legitimate interest under necessity section, I would be saying that based on our statistics, the relationship goes on for at least 12 to 18 months. So checking in with that person is is because of the nature of that particular procedure. It’s it we’re kind of given the green light that it’s okay, but we’re making sure they’re not happy with it. They can unsubscribe, they can tell us, don’t call me anymore at any point. Now, what the what the practice can’t do. It’s just on an add on to that is automatically add that person to their their general Invisalign bleaching that kind of marketing this that was.

Exactly that was exactly my next point Adrian that look if I’ve got a missing tooth and I’ve inquired about implants, do not send me your latest Invisalign open day promotion, something that’s totally irrelevant, Right? So, so my argument here is that and look, I’m no expert, right? I paid Julia fairly a few hundred quid for 50 minutes of a time a few years ago. But, but, you know, I sort of exercise the right of common sense as well. And and I think, you know, I think I think what’s really clear is the nature of the communication, the the specificity of it, the preciseness of it is very much tailored towards the nature of their inquiry. And what else you mentioned, which was and they should have the ability to tell you to get off on the next bus whenever they want. And that should be very easy for them to do that. But then don’t take that as a license to then go, right. We’re running a hygiene offer today. I’m just going to send that out to everyone. Um.

Yeah, but, you know, you could have something where and I mean, obviously this is not formal advice, but I would feel that if you’re, if you’re, if you’re nurturing that relationship with a potential implant patient and you have an implant open day. Yeah. Go to them first. Absolutely. And just say, look, I know I know you’ve said recently that you take your time. This is not to press you at all, but we’ve got you might you might see it on Facebook that we’ve got this open day. So we’re not releasing it yet. Yet we’re giving people who are still talking to us about it sort of kind of first refusal. Explain what the open day is. And, you know, it’s not interesting to you. Then I’ll give you a call in a few months to check in like we usually do. That’s fine. I don’t know Prav people doing that. People thinking about that or they just putting all the money into a Facebook ad and not thinking about their current pipeline.

My, my, my, my thing. Adrian, is this. So we we get a lot of people coming to us and saying, hey, we’d love you to run some Facebook ads, Google ads for us, whatever. Right. And our Mo is this what’s your sales process? And if your sales process is broken and you’re not willing to invest in that broken sales process, we ain’t running ads for you.

Yeah.

And we walk away from it. Right. And, and the main reason for that, Adrian, is this because I know what will happen is in six months time or three months time or whatever that period of time is that we’ve been taking that retainer from that client that they will then start pointing the fingers finger at us. Right. And and I know from doing this for many years that marketing is about sales and marketing and more so about sales than marketing and the different techniques and the strategy and the communication and the nature of that communication, the different communication methods and the timing of it. And and so much more than, Hey, here’s an ad, I’m connecting it to a patient who’s got a problem. They’re going to fill out a form. You’re going to get the details. Now the uphill battle starts and so many practices don’t understand that, that it is is more sales than marketing. And so and so we see a lot of that.

It’s convincing. It’s convincing.

Yeah. We see a lot of that Adrian our dentists.

To persuade people.

Yeah, absolutely. Adrian And your question, our dentists just throwing more and more money at Facebook. And I think on the whole the easiest solution is to do that. The hardest solution is to train your staff and continually train your staff and investing them and yourself as a leader and find those holes and continually improve your consultation technique or your delivery of consultations or your sales approach. And all of that is so much easier just to say, you know, just to stick another £1,000 a month into Facebook. And we see that all the time.

Boost the post.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that’ll work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Absolutely.

So it’s interesting. It’s interesting you say that. And I think that the GDPR is annoying. I totally get that. But I think because there’s been so much misinformation that’s been pushed a lot of industries, but particularly dentistry, there’s so many opportunities that are being missed out. You know, they’re kind of like hacks in a way to think, okay, how can I totally maximise and utilise this data by actually being comfortable with what the law says and what the law permits me to do. I remember when GDPR first came out and people were like, Oh, can’t send appointment reminder to someone unless I got their consent. Yeah, I was like, You you can. People still call me now and say, Oh, it’s been a real tricky position. We’ve got, you know, a hundred patients coming in this week. We’ve had to close down the practice, but we don’t have their consent to send them an SMS. Reminder, I was like, You don’t need that consent, mate. No, no. You could just send it, you know, just don’t put any marketing stuff in there.

Look, I have this I have this conversation with clients a lot, which is this, that if a patient fills out a contact form with their details, their phone number and their email address and the nature of their problem. Do you do you need.

That consent.

To respond to that email or pick up the phone and talk to them about their problem?

No, you don’t. No.

Absolutely not. And this is a common conversation that I have with dentists is this that we need this tick box and they need to consent to being contacted about the specific nature of that. If you want to send them some marketing shit down the line and offers and all the rest of it. Yes. Tick that tick box in. Don’t have it pre-ticked. And either make them tick it and don’t have it so that they can’t submit the form unless they’ve ticked it. Yeah. Then you’re golden, right? But. But to actually just respond to a question they’ve asked you and pick up the phone and say, Hey, I’ve got your enquiry, I’d like to help you. Fair game, right?

Exactly. Because it’s like me asking you a question now and you saying to me, Is it all right if I respond to that question?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Right.

Is it 100%? That’s the same thing. 100. 100%. It’s like it’s like.

Me saying Prav, could you could you do my website for me? Yeah. And are you going? To is. All right. If I just. If I just. Okay. Can I get your consent for me to answer that question?

Yeah. Well, just. Just while we’re on this topic, just to cover. Just to cover things off, Adrian, because I’m speaking to a professional, do I have your consent to publish this podcast online?

No, of course you do.

There we go.

Could you imagine what, an hour and a half in? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I’m sorry.

Mate.

Yeah. I withdraw my consent. Um, but, um. What what what I’d like to do is just take this conversation to a more recent conversation that we’ve had, Adrian, which is, um, revolving around AI. And it seems to me that you, I think you are using dentistry as your playground, Adrian, because you’ve smashed it with GDPR and then you’ve found a piece of technology that. I think we’re just scratching the surface with. And you’ve thought to yourself, well, how can this apply to dentistry? And then you’ve led by writing the book or the guide and pushing that out there. So give us some of your best nuggets when it comes to AI technology and how we can apply it to dentistry today and where you think the future’s going with it.

Wow. It’s it’s a it’s a question that the answer will change probably every month that someone would ask me it because it’s it’s growing so fast and I’m obsessed with it. But I have to limit how much YouTube that I watch on I at the moment because it’s just it’s fall down the rabbit hole and I don’t have enough time to test all this stuff out. I would say and I don’t know if you know, I don’t know his last name is a dentist, but he’s based out in Portugal. Yes. And he and Pierce Linney have got a company called Implement. I certainly followed them and they’ve got a great podcast as well. It’s not dental related, but you know, Alec has got the dental background and um. Puts it in the best, best way possible. Like I has been around for ages, but our actual kind of like hands on it right now is the fact that we are at the the Nokia snake level of artificial intelligence and that is blowing us away like our minds away just that. So we are only getting a glimpse of what is possible now. I think that’s really important because dentists need to be very, very care. Careful of the there’s lot going to be a lot of snake references. Now the snake oil sales which is going to come through I, I see us now as like oh this thing we’ve got AI eyes included in it. And I asked like the person who’s like, who’s who’s selling this software was like, okay, what what do you mean by AI? They can’t really articulate it. It’s like someone releasing a software product now and saying it’s got the Google in it, you know, because.

The Internet for them is Google. Yeah. So it’s got the Google. Yeah, yeah, it’s got the Google.

So I think that you’ve got to be you’ve got to you’ve got to be opportunistic. You can’t the subject is not going away. Yeah. And I think you just need to be very efficient and economic with your time and your thoughts around how this can help you in lots of different ways. So first place to start off with would be ChatGPT and alternatives like Claude to which in some ways is better in Claude to is actually free now as well. Right. And what you want to understand is prompt engineering. So prompt engineering is your ability to talk to the chat bots or the artificial intelligence where you want to call it in a way that it can help produce and generate the best types of responses. And there are certain tricks and tips on how to do this. And I would say the best way to do it and I’m going to nick this from Pierce Linney. The best way to think about this is that imagine you have got an expert that’s sat in your practice surgery room and you’re going in there and you’re asking it to do something right. So and it’s never met you before, doesn’t know anything about your practice or anything like this. And you go in there and you’re like, write, write me a blog about teeth whitening and that’s all you give it.

Now, it might be able to do it. But it doesn’t have the necessary context. Or how do you win that in American English or British spelling? English spelling. How do you want that formatted? Do you want it to be about you? Do you have any stories? Are you a private practice? Your practice? Like all this kind of stuff. So when you when you talk to the chatbot in chatbot and it’s very difficult to explain this without actually showing it, but you want to be thinking, okay, I need to give it necessary context for it to understand what kind of output I want. Also, I want it to be able to take on the persona of a particular expert, which is for the desired outcome. So, you know, blogging is not particularly the best one to use, but then we can say something like social media content, right? So you want to have someone who’s a copywriter that specialises in writing compelling content or captions for Instagram for dentists, blah, blah, blah, this kind of stuff. Now, when the when the when you put that into chat GPT or Claude, it’s like, okay, I know where to really focus my amazing computer power and the outputs that you would get are much, much better. Now once you know, those fundamentals are really, really good tip to use.

That I’ve found has worked massively for me is to use words like imagine at the beginning. So imagine you could blah blah, blah. Imagine you could make this better. Yeah. Imagine you have a magic wand and you could do anything you want. Okay? And and use that kind of thing. Another one is use the words carefully. Consider in caps for some reason really loves that. And it goes just deeper. Think about. Another one is let’s think about this step by step to make sure we get the right answer. Now something I’ve done. I wish I flippin had like a YouTube channel and published this because no one really tapped into this until like three months after I’d tried it. But something that works really, really well, especially with Chat GPT four, which is the kind of more clever version, let’s call it of ChatGPT, is that when you have something produce something like, for example, an email or whatever it might be, ask ChatGPT to carefully critique the above. And rate it out of ten for its effectiveness. And what it does is it says it will rate it out of like, oh, and after that prompt you can say and then provide me with a list of improvements to make it ten out of ten.

And then execute it, right?

So then it really looks at it. Yeah. So if you’ve got like a sales letter for example. Yeah, you could say critique this as Alex Hormozi critique this as Grant Cardone critique this as ex sales coach.

Yeah, really? We did. We did a bunch of, um, we’re going to, we’re going to release this as a, as a blog post. Our copy copyright. Bob came up with a bunch of ideas of writing something in the voice of and then he was like, Snoop Dogg, Samuel L Jackson, blah, blah, blah. Right. And it was hilarious. What, what, what came back out. Right? And that and I’ve been looking through the article, but just as you were sat there, I went into ChatGPT and I said, Write me an advert for Teeth Whitening in the Voice of Snoop Dogg. Yeah. And it’s brilliant what it comes back with. Right. And it’s just captured his persona. Yo, yo, yo. What’s cracking? Beautiful people? It’s your main man, Snoop d o double G here to drop you some knowledge on how you can take your smile game to the next level. Picture this. You stroll into a room, everyone stops and says, Damn, that smile is fly. Well, guess.

What? I just got.

The thing for you, my friends. It’s time to unleash those pearly whites and let them shine like never before. Introducing Snoop Dogg’s teeth whitening the dopest way to. And anyway, it carries on like that. Right?

And it love.

It just carries on. And it ends with, you know Snoop Dogg’s teeth whitening. Let them, let them teeth sparkling and them smiles popping bow wow wow Yippie your pearly whites unleashed all day. Yeah just think how.

Cool is that.

To market to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

How cool is that.

Yeah it’s it’s it’s.

Brilliant and it’s, you know, it’s. And then in that same, the next, the next prompt you could say is like right now do it as a verse from the King James Bible right. Completely.

The other Yeah. The other spectrum.

Of this and it’s it’s very, very it’s very, very clever with that. And I think now I would say too, because I’ve been holding off from providing any more sort of content around ChatGPT and I because I’m just trying to see like the dust settle and it’s like regulations that are coming out and, you know, just it’s becoming quite divisive. Um, I’ve seen one company, they said they’ve got rid of 90% of their support centre by now using AI. So like that’s, there’s going to be a bit of a culture war around this. Yeah. But what I would say is that get now understand how to prompt engineer wait for Microsoft and Google to really battle it out. I wouldn’t be buying any fly by night companies that are saying that we’ve got I kind of in it and you know I can’t give too much away on this Prav but I’ve just literally before our call, I have seen an AI element which is going to be introduced into a dental practice management system which is going to be launched in the UK very soon. Okay. Which is phenomenal. Right. So this is a behemoth company that’s going to launch in the UK. I’m helping them with lots of different stuff integration, that kind of stuff.

Wow.

And I mean, you know, I would struggle for anyone when they see this to think, Oh yeah, but I still like so I like what that button is. Yeah, but can it do any of this stuff? Like, no. And that’s the exciting stuff. So I would say like, let the big boys now take the reins and to really because they have to adapt, like they have to be able to show it and they’re not going to buy these little small companies. They sell, you know, CRM, chatbot, whatever you want to text a video, whatever it might be, companies, they’re just going to do their own one because software can write software now. So it’s not about acquiring small software companies. These big boys will just destroy them. It’s as simple as that. They’re not going to buy them. They’re going to get rid of them.

Yeah, very quickly.

There’s stuff coming.

Yeah.

Stuff coming, which I’m very excited about.

So you can’t talk.

You can’t. You can’t. You can’t talk about the who’s and the wherefores and stuff. But what about the when? When’s it happening? Adrian. Or you can’t even talk about.

I would like to say.

Well, I’m I’m quite a conservative person with stuff like this. And I would say. By the end of the year, conservatively speaking, that this would be available. Now, of course, if you’ve got a US, a US product that’s coming to the UK, you’ve got you’ve got GDPR stuff, you’ve got so much to consider. But the dentists who are involved in the pilot with this are exceptionally impressed by it. And I’ve picked people who are, you know, critical, objectively, constructively, but they’re thinking this could actually save the NHS dental crisis, I think in some ways. Not completely, but it would go. I was listening in to the parliamentary discussions on the stuff today because I’m a shadow and I’m like, Yeah, a lot of the problems is data, right? This is the issue. People not turning up for appointments and that kind of stuff. There are ways to be able to use the right technology to be able to sort that out. But the problem is we have these legacy systems that are not ready for it. You bring an AI, you bring in proper systems. It’s going to I hate the word the term game changer, but it’s the one that fits. Right.

Interesting. I want to I want to move the conversation to a conversation that me and you have been having more about, which is not eating food. So, you know, I think offline we had a little bit of a conversation about health and mortality and that sort of thing, Adrian. And, you know, I’ve been on my own journey really, and, you know, I’ve realised that the older I get, the friends and colleagues and loved ones around me are now sharing with me that they’ve either got mental health issues, physical issues or a combination of them both, or have just been diagnosed with diabetes or worse still, they’re no longer here. And you know, myself, I’ve always had this constant battle with weight body image. Definitely 100% suffer from some kind of body dysmorphia. There’s no question about that for myself. Right. And I’m a complete all or nothing kind of guy. Adrian, I don’t do moderation. It just doesn’t exist in my world, Right? So I’m either all in one direction, so I’m either not eating, let’s be honest, I’m either not eating and I’m fasting or I’m eating once a day, or I’m trying to see how many Mars bars and pizzas I can get through in a day. And there’s no there’s no in between. Prav doesn’t exist. There’s no moderation. Prav And so and I’d hate for somebody to follow exactly what I do because I think it’s not healthy. And from a from a, I think from a mental point of view, I don’t think it’s healthy to fast for ten days and then eat for two and then fast for three and so on and so forth.

But I’m working on my own goal and my own mission. But while I’m sharing that journey, I have inspired a few people at least if they just decide, you know what, I’m going to skip breakfast or I’m going to think more consciously about what I’m eating. And what’s happened with me now is I’ve started thinking about food as fuel or nutrition and what’s in it and what I put in my body first. So the other day I went out for a nice meal, but before I went for that nice meal, I stuffed myself with broccoli and some salad and stuff like that so that when I went out for that meal, I wasn’t as I would normally do in a restaurant, say, Right, those three starters look really good. And instead of deciding which one of those I’m going to have, I’ll order all three. Thank you very much. Yeah, and that’s me all over. Right. And so I can control that now by actually, you know, slamming a load of broccoli and veg down me before I go out to a restaurant and then making a normal decision as people would and just picking one starter and maybe a main or something. But but Adrian, you shared with me that recently you started fasting and but you also shared with me that you had a tough time with Covid and health and stuff like that. So I want to learn about your journey in terms of health and where you are with that, where you were with it and what you’re working towards.

Yeah. Thanks. Thanks, Prav And thanks for sharing what you said as well as there’s a lot of similarities there. I don’t think I’ve ever had the body dysmorphia thing. I do catch myself in the mirror sometimes and I’m like, Oh man. Like I look a lot better when I’m stood up and when I’m sat down, you know, and I it doesn’t get me, get me down. And I would never begin to say understand, but be able to put myself in the shoes of someone who suffers with that. But I think for me, I’ve really had to change my my view of health. I’ve never been particularly athletic. I was good at rugby, but I was an impact player. I was big and I could push to my my shoulders blades, you know, And I’ve enjoyed the moments when you can achieve something physically. I remember when I did my first chin up and thought that was like amazing, you know? I was like flipping after that chin up, right? But for to, to bring it back to where I am now as a 36, 37 and September adult, I got Covid July 2021 and I was a big guy, overweight. I had one vaccine in me. And whilst, you know, we talked about the the birth lottery, you know, I lost it when it came to the vaccine because I was literally like white male in his 30s. I was the last on the list to get the vaccine.

If I’d had that second vaccine, the doctor said it might have, you know, prevented you from getting so sick. But I got to I had to go in hospital and I had severe pneumonia. And I just managed to dodge the ventilator. But I was I my stats plummeted massively. And it took me about six months to recover. And I was walking a bit more. I didn’t really I didn’t really see the problem with diet, to be honest. I never really count my calories or anything like that. But I thought, I’m walking around the garden, I’m keeping active now. Now I know is certainly not enough. And then I bounced around different ideas and watching videos. And, you know, I’m a little bit like that obsessed with like certain people on YouTube that I watch about the keto and all this kind of stuff and fasting. And then it, you know, you go on holiday and you just kind of forget it. And then I got Covid again in March. And I was actually I just found out I got Covid before I went on Justin Lee’s podcast. And I could, um, I thought, I’ll be all right. I’ll be all right. And I nearly went into hospital again. And I was like, crap. And about a month ago. I thought I really. I’ve really got to sort myself out now. This is. You’ve had a good innings of, like, eating what you want and not exercising and stuff.

But what that just goes to show is a lack of discipline. And if I want to be in ten years time someone who can identify me as an approachable, lovable, confident person. Right. These comforting people. But, man, that guy is disciplined. Yeah. And I’ve never been able to have that as part of my identity. So I started a version of 75 Hearts. I don’t know if you’ve ever come across this. It’s a 75. 75 hard. Yeah. Yeah. So I’m doing a version of of that. It’s still pretty difficult, but part of that is is fasting and keeping to a diet. And I’m I am I’m tweaking it a little bit now. You’re not supposed to be supposed to start again if you don’t follow what you set out to. But I’m taking a bit more of an interest in fasting and I’m being very careful where I get my information from. And I’ve realised that when you look at the science behind it, when you actually experience the satisfaction of discipline, which I’m sure you’ve had, Yeah. The also the focus that you can have from not eating like I haven’t the last time I ate was 9:00 yesterday. Right. What is it now? We’re coming up to 7:00. Next day. Yeah, like I feel a bit hungry. I’m starting to feel a little bit light-headed. Right. Okay. But I’ve got to a point now where I can comfortably do this and then realising, looking at the science of how that is affecting your physiology and how that can improve your metabolism is brilliant.

And one thing that really stood out for me, I don’t know if you’ve come across this doctor called Dr. Gundry. He wrote a book called Unlocking the Keto Code, and he admits that as one of the pioneers of the Keto diet in the mainstream, he got some of that wrong. And he says, you know, you need to think about other stuff, not just ketosis. But one of the things is fasting. And one of the studies that he did was just a very quick one. Italian cycle team. Yeah, I think for about three months they had the same feasting table, so they ate the same stuff and they did the same exercise. And but one of the group one. Group B, they could only eat in a six hour feasting window. And they performed much better than group A who could eat whenever they want. And I was like, that really piqued my interest. And I’m thinking, But the way I have to look at this is not that I want to lose weight. It’s not that I want to look better. It’s because I want to be able to say that I am a disciplined person and a great way to see the measure of discipline is your diet and your exercise.

So I’ve got I’ve got a few questions that come out of that. Adrian And, um, I guess one of them is just if we just go back to the point where you were sort of very ill, at any point, did you think this is it?

When you were watching.

Those O2 sats go down and you thought, shit.

They wouldn’t even let me look at them in the end. Prav They wouldn’t let me look at them.

Right?

My heart rate was going so far up, they turned the monitor away. And I remember I was taken out to a what’s called a high flow room, high flow oxygen room.

Yeah.

I don’t expect him to be there for an afternoon, by the way. Right. So this is day four. Yeah. I get put into a high flow oxygen room. I had two Filipino nurses. I love those nurses so much. All the nurses, I watched them get spat at, swore at by other guys in my ward. I made sure I knew them by name and I said hello to them. And you know, much, though possibly had baked goods brought in for them and had visitors, the whole shebang. But I remember this particular point where I was really getting down. They wouldn’t let me look at my stats and they said they’re going to put me into ICU. And these two nurses were so wonderful and they were washing me down. And one of them said to me, she said, I shouldn’t be saying this, but try to mentally fight that. You do not want to be on a ventilator. You do not want to be on a ventilator because that’s where you’re heading right now. Right. And Prav that I took a picture of myself as what I thought would be my last selfie. Not that I take selfies all the time. Not that kind of guy. But I took that picture thinking this might be the last photo of me. And that night I prayed and I. All I thought was, I don’t want to be on a ventilator. I don’t want to be on a ventilator. I don’t I don’t believe in like like mind over matter, psychosomatic, whatever the word is for that. But to answer your question, to face my immortality. Yeah. That point, I thought, this is it.

So, so my question after that, Adrian, is this is then did you pull your finger out at that moment or did you come out of there at that point, things got okay. You thought, fuck it, I can have a pizza now. I’m okay. I didn’t pop my clogs. We’re all good. And then did you have to find a second wind or were you 100% tunnel vision at that point and said, Right, I’m going to save my life now.

No, I let myself off. I let myself off by thinking I need to rest. But take I mean, to put this into perspective, I’m not usually quite open about this, but six months before I just finished my job at my dentist. Right. And then I was starting up my own consultancy in dentistry.

And.

I was building that up slowly. But that’s a tough, tough gig, right? Even with the fact that I have one word equity in dentistry. And I’ve just moved the other side of the country. Right. And I get sick. I can’t work for six months. I blew through my savings. Yeah. And my job was to try and support myself and my family and people who depend on me. So if that meant that we have, you know, we’ve got to eat fast food or whatever it might be, that was it. Because you know what it’s like. Even though we fast like when we do eat, we eat well and that’s quite expensive. Right. So I focussed on that and I got, you know, I managed to bounce back with my job and financially. But then you easily just slip back into normality, you know, and like Covid is like my X Factor sob story when I speak to people. And, you know, it’s it’s interesting people. Oh, I never met anyone who’s gone to hospital. That’s the kind of thing and that’s how it reserved itself in my life. And I kind of I always thought that when I was in hospital, there was people I never thought I was in there because I was overweight. I thought I was in there because I just unlucky. And I was people next to me that were much fitter.

There was a guy who was like semi-professional rugby player. There was a kite surfer there and I just thought, Oh, I’m not here because I was overweight. It probably was a factor. I don’t really know, but I never thought. I just thought, well, I’m confident. Like this is my personality. I’m big. Like sometimes, you know, when I go to a shop and I want to put a suit on, I’m thinking, Oh yeah, I’m a size whatever, and I’m not that I’m still big. That gets me down. I feel a bit rubbish, but nothing really pushed me until I started to think about I need to get better control over my thoughts, not just like negative thoughts that I get so distracted. And I was there was regrets that were starting to pick up opportunities that I’ve missed, things I’ve missed out of. And I started to read, read and it’s just a compound effect of so much other stuff that may be brought to the point, like health is the foundation. Physical health and emotional health is the foundation for any other success. I’m going to see over the next few years, the only way that I can get there is to be disciplined. But that is the fuel discipline is the fuel for this, and the outcomes will just flow from that. Yeah.

Interesting. You know, you mentioned that, you know, you have one of these life events where you sort of see your life flash in front of you. You take your final selfie and then you give yourself a bit of a break and you don’t go tunnel vision, all the sort of, you know. Goggins On it is probably the easiest way to describe it, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Watch so much. Goggins Right now. Yeah.

If you want to give yourself a bowl full of motivation, just just listen to both of his.

Audio.

Books and and you’ll push through whatever pain barriers or mental barriers you’ve got if you believe in it and you get sucked into it like I have. But, you know, it took something else. And that’s something else for you. Certainly was. You want to be you want to develop your sense and feeling and achievement of discipline. And the consequence of that will be a fitter, stronger, healthier, more successful businessman, partner in life, whatever that is. Right. And that will all stem from this one thing called discipline. Right? And we all have different, different things that drive that. And you mentioned to me now, right, you’ve not eaten for whatever, nearly 20, 22 hours, something like that. Yeah. 22 hours since your last eight. And you say you feel a little bit light headed now. Right. Can I ask you, have you had any salt today?

Yeah. I just came home at. When was it? Around 3:00. First thing I did was have some water, a bit of salt in it. But what I probably should have done is had another one about two hours ago. But you are right. The salt thing is important.

The reason you’ll be feeling light-headed is definitely the salt thing. I’ve done this so many times. I know. Kind of know my body and now I know how to remedy it. Right? So I will have two salt capsules probably every four hours while I’m fasting without other than other than when I’m sleeping. I’ll have my wake and sleep and all the rest of it. And that keeps me in check, gets rid of all the headaches and stuff. But I’m going to ask you another question now, Adrian. You’re probably going to eat after this podcast, right? I’m guessing, but. If you were to not eat after this podcast and eat tomorrow on Saturday. Yeah. How hard do you think it would be to do that?

Mm.

Hey, it’s just a decision, right? So I think that. I think I probably need to have the salt just to probably give me some sort of electrolyte and and probably push off this slight headache that I can feel just pulsing, you know, every 30s. Um, but I think from a mental, the mental toughness of it would not be would not be a problem because you know what it is, man. I don’t know how you get this stuff out of me but the when I feel that hunger, you know, I picture, I picture someone mining for gold. Right? And it takes like it takes energy and pain, right? The reverberation of the axe going against the rock. And I make that feeling. It’s like little man just mining.

In my stomach, you know?

And he’s looking for success.

Yeah, Yeah. It’s interesting. We all create these little, little, um, images in our minds, right? We all have these different ways of coping with it, right for me. And I don’t know where I first heard this, but hunger is just a temporary state of mind. Right. It is just a temporary state of mind so I can think my way out of hunger. It’s really easy to do. Yeah. And so, listen, I’m not trying to at this point convince you to not eat tonight, but just I’m just having this conversation with you. Because if we were talking about it and you said to me, Look, Prav, do you know what? I’d be really cool if I could go to breakfast tomorrow, right? But there’s some barriers in the way. And I’d say to you, well, what what are these barriers? Because between now and when you sleep is the only thing that you need to overcome. Right. So then I’d be asking you, well, how many hours till you sleep? Adrian, what are you going to do to preoccupy your mind between now and sleep? What makes you really sleepy? Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Right. And we figure out how you get through the next few hours of your day. And then by the time you nod off, it’s morning time. Fasting while you’re sleeping is really easy. I’ve never I’ve never thought about that.

Yeah. Yeah. It’s like a quick.

It’s like a shortcut in it.

It’s a hack, isn’t it? It’s a quick win. And your minor, your equivalent of your minor hack. In a way, when I feel like I want to give up or I want to fail or I’m feeling hungry. Yeah. And look, we don’t we don’t come up with many explicits on this thing here. But, but I literally say to myself, Fuck you, Prav.

Fuck you.

Right? And that takes me out of it. Yeah, right. And. And I do a lot of self-talk, right when I’m in the gym and training. Or during these things we need to get. And those are the words I use. Right. And they get me through. They get me through. And part of that, you know, it’s I guess it’s layered on with, you know, some of the concepts from Goggins where he says, you know, when you’re at your tether and you feel you’ve reached the end and you can’t go any further, you’re only 40% of the way there. And that resonates with me. So then that gives me a mental pickup. It flicks a switch, and I say to myself, f Prav you’re better than this and motor on. And so, yeah, I guess, you know, that’s where I am. And so, and so if we talk about your fasting journey. Adrian, what, what are you going to do? What’s the plan? You’re following this 75 heart or whatever it is. You’ve tweaked things a little bit. Talk me through your protocol. How how long are you going to fast for? Is it going to become a regular part of your every day? You’re going to is it a 16 eight? Are you trying to shortcut something and you’re going to do a period of intensity and then revert back to. What’s the plan?

So my plan is at the moment I need to have a plan. But what I’ve been following, following at the moment is keeping to a kind of a six, seven hour window. I eat usually around my first meals around 1:00 and that is and I’m keeping my diet wise is is quite heavily protein good good fats I eat a lot of goats dairy goats products. Okay. Because they just it’s just brilliant you know they they have all the lots of nutrition and polyphenols and all this other stuff that you need to have that’s in there. And I actually quite like it. I used to hate goat’s milk, but the new stuff is pretty good. But in terms of the, the fasting, I’m because I’m seeing Mike like I’m losing weight and I’m not losing muscle and I’m feeling more focussed and it’s helping with this whole discipline journey. I’m intrigued to research it more. And I catch I caught a, um, a podcast episode, just a bit of it with Diary of a CEO. And it was this this lady who’s written a book called Fast Like a Girl. I think it’s fasting for women, by the way. But she says that there is a scientific fact and you might know it scientific backed fasting schedule that you can follow, which kind of varies the fasting. So your body isn’t just used to like, okay, Adrian doesn’t eat between 8 and 1 the next day. Yeah. So the variation of the fast is actually something which is quite, quite good in terms of weight loss, the focus and the other benefits that you can get from it. So I’m going to look into that.

Keep your body, keep your body guessing. So if like some of the best stuff I’ve heard on fasting is from a guy called Dr. Satchin Panda and another guy called Dr. Walter Longo, and they lead the research in fasting. So well worth looking at that. But you spoke about keto earlier and I think there’s one piece of content that you will find really, really interesting. And I have listened to this podcast 2 or 3 times and it’s by Andrew Huberman and he interviews a guy called Dr. Chris Huberman. It’s his interview with Chris Palmer, and it’s about the ketogenic diet and its and its impact on mental health. And the evidence is so compelling for treating depression, schizophrenia, psychosis. It’s insane, right? You know, the reason why the ketogenic diet was initially developed was for epilepsy treatment, right? But then they looked at, okay, what, what, what, what does epilepsy, what are the brain patterns and the neurone firing and all that have in common with other disorders of the brain. Right. And this is where this Chris Palmer talks in an incredible amount of detail. You will really enjoy that podcast, I’m sure you will. And the knowledge I got from that and the information, it was so inspiring about the ketogenic diet. And I’ve noticed whenever I’m in ketosis, I am mentally in a much happier place. But I hadn’t connected the dots until I listened to Chris Palmer’s podcast so. Well, well, well, well worth a listen there. And and.

To feel this.

This is not.

Come on.

But do you feel like your skin is better from being on keto? Because mine is.

Right. Let me.

Tell you. Let me tell you, as a bald guy. I have dandruff.

Okay.

I used to. If I take myself. Eight weeks ago, I had dandruff. I had dandruff falling out of my beard and I had itchy what I would consider to be mainly inflamed skin. It’s the easiest way to describe my skin. Right after my ten day fast, I realised that I no longer had dandruff. Which means when I scratch my head, it stops snowing. Or when my daughter scratches my beard, it stops snowing. And I can now wear black tops because they don’t get covered in snow. My skin is so much better and so much clearer. Yeah. Funnily enough, just before this podcast, I recorded a little video on my phone about what I’ve been the side benefits of fasting right? For me, this whole journey I’ve been doing, you know, probably for the last eight weeks, eight, nine weeks ago after my ten day fast, right. And I brought that up. So one of them was clearer skin, no more dandruff. I deliberately don’t weigh myself, Adrian. And the reason being is the scale just plays fucking tricks on you, right? So especially if you’re doing a bit of training, if you put on a little bit of muscle or you’ve drunk a bit more water that day or whatever, or you know, you’ve, you’ve not taken a crap or whatever it is, the scales tell you a story and you interpret that story the way you want to. So whenever I’ve wanted to lose weight, I never step on the scales, right? But the last time I weighed myself, I was 11 kilos heavier than today.

And that’s about eight weeks ago. Right. So I’ve lost about 11 kilos. Wow. I think I need to lose about another eight kilos for me to be in a happy place. Right. With my with with with where my weight is. Right. But for me, it’s it’s that whole body dysmorphia. Right? So then then there’s actually muscle tone because I’ve lost ten kilos, but I’ve got the physique that looks a little bit like melted cheese at the moment and I don’t quite like that. And so that will figure itself out over the next few months. Right. And and I’ll work on that. And so, yeah, I do do honestly believe that the benefits beyond weight loss, mental clarity, skin inflammation, achy knees, achy joints, all of that just gone. I’ve got an l5-s1 disc tear, so I get a lot of sciatic pain, so I just need to walk 100m and I get this intense foot pain. It’s not gone, but it’s better. Do you know what? When I see these benefits, Adrian, they motivate me further. Yeah. And that’s what’s keeping this thing going. And my plan is at the moment that I have no plan. So I’ll know that during the week I might just throw in a little two day fast, but the maximum that I’ll eat is once a day. But occasionally, if I want to treat myself, I might go all out and eat twice that day. And that’s it. Right. And you know, you just said earlier that your plan is that you need a plan, but maybe you don’t.

I feel inspired by that because I think the the idea of keeping the body guessing is good.

Absolutely.

When you have the knowledge, like when you mean Andrew Huberman, man, like I got a guy crush on that guy. Like, he’s super smart. He looks like he’s Sons of Anarchy.

Like he looks good. Very eloquent. You know, just awesome bloke. And like, listen to him for days. And, um.

I think being able to get this knowledge and having it explained to you in such a, like in a such a clear way makes you realise, okay, this isn’t someone who’s trying to sell me some weird eight week plan and I got to pay him like hundreds of pounds. Like, this is person’s like open source their knowledge so that I can feel like when I’m going.

To.

A social gathering or whatever that might be, I don’t have to explain myself. Like, I just like, you know, I’m, I’m on this, this thing at the moment and it’s really good because I’m, I want to stick to it and disciplined with it and that kind of stuff. And I’m not doing it because I want to lose weight. I’m just doing it. I want to be disciplined. And I think it’s really good to have that. And but still having the flexibility of like because the knowledge I have, like I can kind of move around it and I can enjoy it because that’s what drive and motivation is about, not your outcomes, but actually enjoying what you’re doing. And that’s the first time I’ve actually enjoyed this, even though I do go a little bit. Goggins And I’m having a lot of this talking like I’m, you know, you know, I’m being a bit of a was he saying you’re being a bit of a bitch?

Yeah, kind of thing.

And it’s like, just use that, use that as if you’re talking to your best friend and you are telling them this stuff to save their life because that’s effectively what I’m trying to be doing to myself right now. So what would I say to someone else? Say that to myself.

Say it to yourself, right or the other. You right that Goggins talks about in his second book. He talks about there being a second persona. Right? There’s there’s David, there’s David Goggins and then there’s the persona. Goggins And Goggins is one mean mofo that you don’t want to mess with or compete with. Yeah. And when, when he unleashes. Goggins God help anyone, right? And whether you’re self-talking to that. But, but, but the one thing about being relaxed about not having a plan and I’ve done this before is that I see the fruits of my success in terms of like, let’s say, fasting and stuff and thought, think, Oh, can I have a bit of a break here? I can let myself go here. I can do this. For me personally, it’s such a trap to fall into and I’ve done that so many times. Look, I mean, I did a 21 day fast a few years ago, right? And I still managed after that. I was I was fit as a fiddle. I was lean. I was happy with the way I was. And then do you know what I did? I let myself get fat as fuck again, right? Why? Because I fell off the wagon. And then. And then these things just creep up on you. And then you make excuses. And then you get busy at work, and. And your thought processes run away with you, and you make up excuses for yourself. And then you stop being that. Let’s say in your world that’s super disciplined human being or in my world, you know, you know, tunnel vision and challenged and obsessive in that way. And then and then you go into self-destruct mode, right? Which is what I went into and then had to pull myself out of it. Right? And that’s where I am today. And so it’s for me personally, it’s a very, very fine line. Adrian And so it’s really interesting to just shoot the breeze with you in terms of like, you know, why you decided to do this. And, and the core driving factor is discipline.

Yeah. And I think the thing is, is that. We need to we need to look at what our self-talk is. And sometimes our self-talk can be very critical, but actually it needs to be more compassionate. The problem is, is when we hear the word of like self-compassion, it sounds all like bit cheesy and like all be nice to yourself and affirmations and all this kind of stuff. No, because there is a you have to you have to think about what what is the actual kindness to myself right now? Yeah. And sometimes it’s a little bit cruel to be kind, right?

Without question.

To not being horrible, not being, you know, persecuting yourself, but a case of like what is kind to me right now for the bigger picture and how can I help that guy in as much that I would if I had an overweight friend who was diabetic or near to it and I’ve got a piece of cake, am I going to offer it to him? No way am I going to do that. That’s not kind. I’m going to encourage him like, Hey, man, I won’t have one with you, you know? Yeah, that’s the that’s the kind of self-talk I need to be having with myself.

100%. 100%. And, you know, there’s this there’s this concept of know if you’ve come across the concept of it before or internal family systems as a sort of psychological, should we say a coaching, but also a therapy, a practice of therapy where you actually take yourself to a place of your younger self. Okay, so let’s say, let’s say we took ourself to that point where Adrian was that 710 year old boy who wanted to jump. Yeah. And hurt himself or whatever. Right? So we take ourselves to that bad place that that really, really bad place. But, but what we do is we close our eyes, we take ourselves there. But you’re now Adrian the in his mid 30s and you sit next to that boy and you look over to that boy. Right. And you really vividly visualise and, and you talk to him. And what would you say to him at this point? Right. You know, what would you tell him? What were the words you would tell him? And and if that boy was to now look up at you today. What would he be saying to you? Right. And I think that that practice of ifs where we just touched upon self-talk now, Adrian, and this is self-talk in the present.

But if we were to exercise some self-talk in the past, I think that’s where our compassion would really come in, where we’re going back and potentially healing. What? We didn’t have the opportunity to heal or close the book on. Right. Many, many years ago or whatever. Right. And I think in in all aspects, Adrian, whether it’s self-talk today, right now, this evening or whether it’s self-talk and having a chat with Prav or Adrian when they were ten years old. Yeah, I’ve done a lot of that. It’s a really, really powerful way of healing yourself and moving on or motivating yourself. And I think as you said, right, it might sound cheesy, but I think compassion is really important. Really, really important to to to give yourself, you know, and in your self-talk. And there are lots of people I know. Adrian, who I would talk to about self-talk and mentioned self-talk and they just think I’m fucking cream crackers, right? Because it’s off their radar, right? Having that, that having a word with yourself, having a conversation with yourself. But do it all the time.

But I think it’s because our what you’ve just said there, that reflection, that emotional intelligence, that ability to embrace our regrets, our failures. Daniel Pink talks about writing a failure resume and looking at that about all the things that you got wrong, that you missed out on, that you didn’t take or the things you shouldn’t have taken. On one side of a piece of paper and then what you’ve learned and what you’ve built from that. Because I think that seven year old Adrian did not have a clue about what other failures and issues he was going to have for the next ten, 20 years.

But the thing is.

I would pick that chaos to colour my life because I learned so much from it. And I’ve got plenty of mileage left in me. You got plenty of mileage left, left in you.

Absolutely.

And that’s the thing. It’s like embrace it, grow from it, find strength in that regret because you’re going to have it one way or another. You might as well use it.

100%. 100%. Adrian I’ve really enjoyed this evening’s conversation. I knew this was going to be a long podcast. Yeah, I just knew it. And whether it’s the energy between us that we’ve had when we’ve been communicating or what, we had so many topics to cover, right? And I feel we could carry on going on, right? But I think we’ve come to the point where I’m going to ask you perhaps a final question. Okay. And perhaps final question is this, Adrian, that imagine we get to the point where it is your last day? But you now 125 because you’ve you’ve nailed your self-discipline and you’re fasting and you’re a super athlete and you’ve been successful in business and but you’re surrounded by your loved ones. Adrian Whether it’s, um, you know, friends, family members, whoever it might be. And you had to leave them with three parting bits of advice or wisdom. What would they be?

I would always say that. Have a bias towards action, even if it’s a slight bit of action. Always a bias towards action above me. Don’t think you can see it, but there’s this light. It’s a shark that’s holding that light.

Ah, okay.

Sharks don’t stop. Right? I know people can’t sit. They’ve seen this. But you see that? I love sharks. Slipping Jaws is my favourite film, you know. And sharks never stop moving. And I have stopped moving so many times in my life and suffered the penalty for that. So have a bias towards action. But when you’re doing that action, always look for kindness, for comfort, for compassion, for patience. Look for virtues in your action. And I think the last one that I would tell my seven year old self. Is. It’s okay to be misunderstood. Because if you are built your character on all of those other things and you’re confident in that. You understand that? And the ones that matter, whose opinions matter, whose opinions have actual consequence, they understand it. And that’s fine if other people misunderstand it. Whatever. That’d be my three bits.

Okay, beautiful. And then it wasn’t actually my final question. Tell a lie. Adrian, is that is that after you’ve passed, how would you like to be remembered? Adrian was complete the sentence.

I’m not going to say GDPR guy Adrian.

I would say Adrian was a kind and confident man who found comfort in his chaos so he could comfort others in their chaos.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Adrian And then this payments final question, which is fantasy dinner party. Three guests, dead or alive? Who would they be?

Johnny Cash. Jim Morrison. Frank Sinatra.

Lovely. Lovely. What an evening of entertainment.

Yeah. Dinner and a show.

Yeah. Yeah. Happy days. Happy days. Adrian, It’s been a blast. I’ve really enjoyed shooting the breeze with you. It’s been a really comfortable conversation, and it’s gone in many different directions. But I think I’ve got as much out of it as I’ve put in. I’ve got a lot out of speaking to you today. Um, it’s been it’s been very open and thanks for sharing your stories with us. Yeah. And look forward to having your next meal, I guess, after, what, nearly 24 hours of fasting?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s not going to be Domino’s.

Good.

I’ve made that mistake before. For those of you who’ve listened to the end, if you check out our podcast show notes, you’ll be able to access some free gifts from Adrian, who kindly donated some content for us that he usually charges for. So you’ve got his chat GPT Guide, essentially a Dental business game changer. I actually purchased this and it’s incredibly valuable. It gives you a good insight into how to use ChatGPT as a dental professional and how to squeeze the most out of it. And so if you check out the show notes, there’s a free version of that for the first 100 listeners. Then you’ve got this Privacy Notice template for practices and his Privacy Notice template for associates, and you can download those free of charge, but they are limited to the first 100 Dental Leaders listeners. So race in there. Check out the show notes and download your free goodies from Adrian and Adrian. Thank you so much for your generous gift to our listeners.

This is Dental Leaders the podcast where you get to go one on one with emerging leaders in dentistry. Your hosts. Payman, Langroudi and Prav. Solanki.

Thanks for listening, guys. If you got this far, you must have listened to the whole thing. And just a huge thank you both from me and pay for actually sticking through and listening to what we’ve had to say and what our guest has had to say. Because I’m assuming you got some value out of it.

If you did get some value out of it, Think about subscribing and if you would share this with a friend who you think might get some value out of it, too. Thank you so, so, so much for listening. Thanks.

And don’t forget our six star rating.

Prepare for a deep, touching and wide-ranging conversation as host Rhona connects with her therapist, Ella McCrystal.

Multidisciplinary therapist Ella discusses the role of trauma in shaping the psyche from a young age. She shares insight on coping with trauma and catastrophising, talks about the shifting landscape of gender, and reveals how helping a client overcome dental phobia led to an unexpected opportunity.

Enjoy!   

 

In This Episode

04.53 – Trauma and EMDR

17.59 – Disclosure, forgiveness

26.59 – Free will and programming

33.06 – Therapy, leadership, and isolation

40.11 – Masculinity and toxic masculinity

54.27 – Gender roles

01.03.03 – Children and careers

01.07.12 – Tools for change

01.12.30 – Catastrophising and internalisation

01.19.25 – Dentistry, skills, and values

01.27.58 – TED 

01.29.50 – Fears and mistakes 

 

About Ella McCrystal

Ella McCrystal is an accredited psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist, and mindset coach. She is also the owner and manager of The Northampton Clinic, a private multi-disciplinary health clinic in central Northampton.

She is a published author and writer who shares insights through her Medium blog and has also created an online self-help course to help people to gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts and behaviours.

Needed someone to know because it was obviously you’re living in fear, so you just need someone to talk to. So I shared the diary page with him and a boy. His friend thought it was a love letter and took it out of his hand. We were in a math class at the time and within about 30s everybody in that class had seen this piece of paper. I ran into the toilets, locked myself in there, and then the rest of it’s a bit of a blur.

This is Mind Movers. Moving the conversation forward on mental health and optimisation for dental professionals. Your hosts, Rhona Eskander and Payman Langroudi.

Hello everybody, and welcome to another episode of The Mind Movers. Today I have an incredible guest with me. This is going to shock you all. I have literally brought my psychotherapist on a podcast. It reminds me of that film starts. Have you seen starts? Nope. So Jonah Hill literally brings her psychotherapist to do a film with him because he’d learnt so much through his therapy and he just wanted to kind of bring his audience in on his secret and how he healed from so many traumas. So today we have Ella McCrystal, who is a survivor of Intrafamilial childhood sexual abuse. She is also a psychotherapist, a clinical hypnotherapist, which I’ll tell you about, very interesting Emdr practitioner, meditation teacher and a mindset coach of 15 years. And she’s worked with a group of individuals and lots of different people. So welcome.

Ella Hello, Thank you for having me. It’s very exciting.

So amazing to have you. I’m going to kick start by telling everyone because everyone might think, Oh, Rona gets therapy. I’m sure that’s what a lot of people will be thinking. Well, they might not have been. I’ve been talking like I’m crazy person for like ages now, right? But I have to say that therapy is something that, again, was very much stigmatised. I’d be interested to know what your generation thought. Payman. You are older than me. So we’re going to we’re going to kind of touch on that. But I think importantly, I think that therapy should really be normalised because for me, it’s something I’ve been doing for a number of years now. I have been going in and out of therapy because I just never thought it was the right fit, if I’m completely honest. So for me, I’d go and they’d be like, So tell me, how are you feeling? And I’m like, I need you to tell me why I’m feeling this way. You know, I need you to tell you how I’m feeling. So it wasn’t until I got paired up with Ella, and the reason why I got paired up with Ella is because I had a lot of gut issues. I found a functional practitioner who deals with gut problems. His name is Dr. Sunny, and he said to me, I think a lot of your gut issues might be related to trauma, to some things that you’ve been through in your life. And paired me up with Ella, and it was a match made in heaven. So she has been an absolute angel. I adore it. I look forward to therapy now and I think that we’ve made some great progress.

It’s for me, everything you’ve said there is spot on because so many people, and we touched on this before we started, didn’t we? So many people think you’ve got to be in deep pain to have therapy. But there’s lots of different reasons, whether it’s, you know, something physical or you just want to be the best version of yourself. Yes, there is always something painful for everybody, but actually, there’s a lot of work that you can do in therapy, which is actually about growth. It doesn’t have to be about constantly dredging up the past, although that is, you know, we do have to do that too. So I think having that holistic view is really important and perhaps that’s why it aligns so well with you because you are a very holistic person.

Thank you very much. Take notes.

That’s very true. There’s almost like a need and want part to it because I’ve never I’ve never seen a therapist. I haven’t really never know. But I’ve been in situations which are similar. I’ve been on courses and things where people are asking coaches as well, coaches courses. And every time I’ve been in that situation I’ve felt like that was really nice, you know, like spending time thinking about me without any sort of other agenda. So I’ve come out of it feeling that was nice, like a want thing rather than a need thing. Yeah, but I think it’s a bit of both, isn’t it? Sometimes if you’re in a crisis situation, you could look that as I need to talk to someone right now. But then we were talking about optimisation. Yeah, right. And the fact that, you know, you could see it as just one long line with, you know, superhuman on one side of it and someone very, very depressed at the other. And you need a therapist in all those situations sometimes. So it’s interesting. So I’m interested to know of your patients. Do you call them patients? Clients?

A bit of both. It does actually depend on why they’re with me.

What percentage are in the sort of the optimisation area and what percentage are in the other.

I’m going to be really in the middle here and I think it is 5050. There are some people that are very, very traumatised or very, very anxious having sort of extreme panic, um, lots of anxiety, depression. But then there’s lots of people and I think it’s through word of mouth as well that will say, you know, you’ve been working with my friend for a long time. He’s gone from, you know, middle management to CEO in two years. Can I work with you? What you know, what is it that you do? And you mentioned in the bio there, it’s a very multidisciplinary approach, lots of different models of therapy. So with the trauma work, you would look at reprocessing trauma with something like. Emdr hypnotherapy is fantastic.

For.

Eye movement desensitisation. I tried reprocessing so.

Eye movement, desensitisation.

Reprocessing. So essentially it’s based on REM, the movement of REM. When we go to sleep at night and we hit our REM sleep, we store information from the day. If you have a trauma or if you’re very, very stressed and burnt out, a lot of the time your brain actually struggles to store that information because you don’t always hit good sleep. You said as you came in, you didn’t have particularly good sleep. So if you don’t hit good REM sleep, you’re not always storing information. Also, if you drink a lot of alcohol, you won’t hit REM, which is why we forget moments when we’re drinking too much. But when there’s a trauma, your body and your brain go into hypervigilant mode. And so it’s hard to go into that deep, deep sleep. So you don’t always store information correctly. And what happens is the trauma kind of gets frozen in the brain. And so people with PTSD or complex PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder will often not realise it, but they stay stuck in the trauma. So not in every some people, you know, present very, very well at work and everything else, but they might find that in their personal lives or sleep or with panic attacks that they’re constantly traumatised.

So when we mimic REM eye movement using bilateral stimulation and I’m doing that because you wave your fingers in front of someone’s face or they can tap with Emdr buttons or clickers. Actually you can use bilateral sound as well. And with a particular protocol you’re able to reprocess the trauma without even having to talk about what it is. So I would say to someone, for example, hold the memory in your mind, have a snapshot of that memory. What are you feeling in your body? What’s the belief about yourself? What’s the emotion? And then I’ll give them cognitive interweaves, which are really suggestive ones of how they can layer in different aspects or perspectives of the trauma. Because each time you recall a trauma, say you’ve had a car accident, you generally remember it through the eyes of the person that’s had the car accident rather than through the adult or through the older self. So Emdr is very, very good at taking the traumatic memory, reprocessing it, and moving it into the part of the brain where it should sit rather than in the limbic area where it’s constantly creating the anxiety.

Is it a new thing or has there been quite a lot of relatively.

It’s about 30 years old as a psychotherapy, really. It was traditionally used for military police, you know, paramedics, that kind of service. But we can use it now for OCD or OCD spectrum, obsessive compulsive spectrum, anxiety and more complex PTSD as well, like abuse, abusive relationships, violence that kind of thing. So it’s a bit broader in its approach now. And there is a particular protocol that you do have to use, but we can blend and this is what I do. We can blend modalities of therapy together so that someone that’s really dysregulated emotionally and struggles with that we can use. If you’re multifaceted in your approach, you can perhaps use both hypnotherapy and Emdr and you can use the talk therapies and the CBT, you know, cognitive behavioural therapy. So it’s just finding what fits for that person. So like with you, you are very much somebody that kind of likes the coaching approach, the talking approach. You like to try things.

You would have guessed. But my question is I want to stick on trauma, right? Because there’s a few things that I want to cover. I’d be interested. I know what I’m going to ask Ella. I’d be interested to have your input on this too. Payman Are there such things and is there a difference between big and little traumas? And do you believe, number two, that every single person, no matter how happy they may appear, has had a degree of trauma, whether little or big in their life?

So I’m going to try and answer this without confusing anybody because it’s a very difficult question to answer. Trauma for me is the manifestation for each person of of that particular event. So, for example, I’ll try and keep it simple. You could have two people with exactly the same trauma. So let’s say a car accident, exactly the same One person will get out of the car next day, drives one person, may never drive the car again. So it’s very much based on the individual personality type. What’s happened before and how that manifests. I would say most people have a degree of at least periods of time where there’s acute stress, some in childhood, which is more impactful because the brain isn’t fully developed yet. So the way the brain. Is impacted by early childhood trauma is different, not necessarily worse or better, but certainly different. And then it’s how that personality manages those events. So when you say is there big or little trauma, I think, again, that’s perspective because what’s a little trauma to one person is a big trauma to another. Yeah. And again, that’s very much based on lots of different things, personality, cultural aspects of someone’s life. Um, you know, also if you haven’t had, let’s say, a lot of stress in your life and life’s been fairly perfect, something goes wrong, you haven’t got the skill set to deal with it. So it feels very traumatic to you. So it’s very difficult to answer that.

How do you go about unpacking? I mean, as a dentist patient comes in, we do an examination, we look, we might take an x ray occasionally you do get this situation where someone who should be in pain is and someone who shouldn’t be in pain is occasionally. Yeah, but really, it’s empirical. You look at it, you examine it and you figure out what the problem is. Yeah, of course. In Rhona’s area of cosmetic dentistry, you get that sort of difference in what people think is looks good or doesn’t look good. But what’s your process in your examination when you first meet someone, how do you figure out which one of these are they? Is is there a pathway like a normal way that all psychotherapists do that?

Or I suppose some people have strict protocols, so it would be very sort of almost a questionnaire, you know, tick a few boxes, answer these questions. I prefer to have a bit more of a laid back approach. So nine times out of ten, someone’s quite nervous when they start therapy. So I’ll often explain all the different modalities, what they’re for, how they work, how we can blend them together. And then I’ll ask questions. As I’m explaining, say, Emdr, I’d say, Does this resonate with you? Is there anything that you think you could benefit from? And they would then say, well, actually not necessarily trauma. And then they’ll tell me something and I’ll be like, Hmm, that’s really interesting that you don’t consider that to be trauma. And that’s when we start to unpack. So it’s a good it’s a good place to start, I think, to explain what the modalities are, how they work, and then ask questions as you go through rather than straight away. Tell me how you feel, because that is too big a question.

But then you know the element of trust in the therapist. I’d expect a bunch of people wouldn’t open up for a good few meetings and then you find out stuff later.

It’s interesting you say that, and I don’t know if this is just it’s Ella.

I’m going to tell you right now because.

I’m sure some people are better at it than others, right? Totally.

But I think it’s in the same way, like different dentists have different approaches, right? Like as soon as I saw her, I liked to talk things out. You know, this that I like to talk. I like to understand. I like to feel it out. So for me, very much, the therapists that I encountered, which I assume is a professional boundary, is also because they they always say things like, so just tell me they don’t want to say too much because it’s not professional to say too much because they feel like they’re leading the conversation. If they’re leading the conversation, they’re being unprofessional. And I think it’s the same thing with dentistry, right? Like lots of people are like, you shouldn’t be on social media. You shouldn’t conduct yourself this way on social media because dentists are meant to just be that person behind the chair. You know, you’ve heard that narrative before. So I think in terms of in terms of with you, it just made me feel at ease straightaway. And also what I found interesting, which I think you can explain to the audience is when it comes to, for example, the brain, she actually told me a little bit about the brain. So she was like, this is your cortex, this is the limbic. This is this is the part that does this. This is why you’re feeling this. And I thought it was quite an interesting way to understand what’s going on from a scientific point of view.

Yeah. And that’s why I like those, um, not so much niche now, but certainly when I started to practice, there were more niche the hypnotherapy, the Emdr. I like them because they’re very brain based. And I think once you start to explain what something is to someone rather than start with, Tell me about you. So this is what I’m going to do with you and it’s up to you whether you want to carry on with this because it may not float your boat. So if you want to go into this type of work, this is what we’re going to do. This is the impact on the brain. But I’m also, um, I was trained in that way. Don’t say too much about yourself. You know, keep a very sort of boundaried wall up, I suppose. And I just thought no, because for me, when I was going through what I was going through as a child, which was awful, I wanted somebody to be like me, warm, welcoming, open and say, and there was one person that did that for me and she was my social worker at the time. We didn’t really have therapists. She was a social worker. I saw a 2 or 3 times a. She disclosed to me that she’d been sexually abused as a child. And I was just like, Oh, really? I’ve not met anyone else at this point. I was I’m 44 now, so it was about well over 30 years ago. So it was not spoken about then. And then on I think on the second or third time I met her, she said, Oh, I’m moving into the probation service.

And she went and that was the only person that ever disclosed anything like that. But in that moment it made me feel safe that somebody else understood the trauma. Now, I always say to people, Look, mine is sexual abuse. It’s intrafamilial. There’s lots of different complexities within that. But it doesn’t mean that what you’re experiencing is too different, actually, because of the impact that trauma has on the brain. So I keep taking it back to the brain rather than the trauma itself, because when we talk about trauma, we start to compare. We start to think mine’s not as bad as yours. Maybe, maybe I shouldn’t be in therapy. Maybe there’s something just wrong with me because you went through this and I’ve only been through this and I seem to be more dysregulated than you are. So take it back to the brain. How the brain functions, how the brain processes, what the brain’s doing, what that does to your body. Gut health is one of those things where that’s why Sony and I align because there’s this very important nerve, the vagus nerve that runs from the brain to the gut. And it’s very, very linked brain gut. And when you look at what someone’s feeling in their body, not only are they dysregulated in their mind, they’re often struggling with pain, gut issues, fatigue, all sorts of things. And so I try to unpack the person rather than the presenting issue.

Yeah, and I think that’s what we’re all guilty of as a society, especially within the medical world. We want to treat the symptom and not the cause. You feel depressed, take some antidepressants, you got a headache, take a pill, you know, and we don’t want to actually understand the cause, which is why I think it’s so important that we apply integrative medicine within our profession, which is, again, why I connected to her, because I’ve been going to gastroenterologists, do a colonoscopy, do this, do that. But they didn’t really understand that there were other issues going on within my body that were causing these gut issues, you know, and I’ve got awareness of that now. So.

I mean, would you say you got into this line of work because of what you’ve been through as a child?

I mean, I.

Because of your own healing. Yeah.

And by the way, if you’re going to disclose your own story as a therapist, you have to be healed. You can’t talk about this stuff if you’re triggered. You can’t work with people. If you’re triggered, you have to have done the work. It was a difficult path because, like I say, when I actually disclosed what was going on at home for me, there really wasn’t much of a service of anything. In fact, I’ve got to be careful to say this, but the counsellor, I saw 2 or 3 counsellors through the GP and they all were quite aggressive, very cold, no warmth. How old were you? I disclosed sexual abuse. It was my dad that sexually abused me. I disclosed that when I was 11 and then probably didn’t get much of anything. Social services were involved for a very short period of time.

Did you disclose it to.

Well, it was I say I disclosed it was actually accidental disclosure because I never intended it to go to the police. I kept a diary of what was going on. And I had a really good friend. It was a boy, but we were just friends. We used to play computer games together and I just thought actually it was the second time I tried to tell someone. The first time I told somebody and they told their mum and I just sort of went, Oh, it was just a joke. And actually the mum told me off and so I was like, Oh, okay, people aren’t going to believe me. So I thought, I’ll just tell my friend he’s not going to tell his mum. All he cares about is computer games. But it just I needed someone to know because it was obviously you’re living in fear, so you just need someone to talk to. So I shared the diary page with him and a boy. His friend thought it was a love letter and took it out of his hand. We were in a math class at the time and within about 30s everybody in that class had seen this piece of paper. I ran into the toilets, locked myself in there, and then the rest of is a bit of a blur. Before I knew it was lunchtime dinner, ladies were like, Get out the toilets telling us off because we were all in there. And then someone must have told her what had happened. And the next thing I know, I’m in the Headteacher’s office stuffing envelopes, if you can believe it. They didn’t know what to do with me because back then you didn’t have a protocol for this sort of stuff. So stuffing envelopes. But the window overlooked the field where all the kids were playing. And there I was. My heart genuinely felt like concrete. I just could barely move, breathe. It was hours and hours and hours before the police came because they had to arrest my dad got home. Mum’s in the window. Dough crying. Did your.

Mom know?

No, she said she didn’t. But the first thing she said to me, the first thing was, I don’t know if I’m I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stay married to your dad. And I was like, what do you mean you don’t know? Obviously, you’re going to leave him. And she never did. They’re together to this day.

So how long had it been going on?

Over. It spanned several years. Several years? Yeah. Um, so, yeah, she. My mom was an actress, so she was often out, um, amateur stuff, but she was out a lot. She’d had three kids, I think, you know, she just wanted to go off and do her own thing. And, you know, my dad had been sexually abused himself as a child that had not been dealt with that, you know, he was brought up in in Paisley in Glasgow. And back then, those things were literally swept under the carpet. I think it just stayed and dealt with. And unfortunately, these things affect people. They the part of him that I think was sexually abused went into this. I’m going to I’m going to be in control. I’m not going to be the victim. I’m going to be the powerful one. It’s obviously very subconscious, which is why I’m so interested in the subconscious mind, because I think the only way that we can heal these types of things is to really understand why people do the things they do instead of being angry, which of course you’re allowed to feel angry. But instead of staying angry, let’s learn about what the brain’s doing. Let’s learn about why people become sex offenders. Let’s learn about how the impact of sexual abuse affects certain people at a certain age in a different way. So if you’re younger or older or female, let’s look at those statistics and really try to understand what the brain’s doing and understand that these are impulsive, compulsive behaviours. No one wakes up in the morning and decides to be a sex offender.

Or an alcoholic or a drug addict. Correct. Do you know what it just reminds me as well, and I’m sure both of you, it might have crossed your mind, but also with Michael Jackson, right? Dare I be controversial? There was so much abuse in his family and actually came across a video really randomly on TikTok where his sister was talking about the abuse that she had endured. Latoya. And you know, what’s really mad is that she had stated this in the 80s on a talk show, and she almost got cancelled and people labelled her as having psychiatric issues. They blamed her. Yeah, They didn’t want to acknowledge that this sort of thing was going on. And whether the allegations about Michael Jackson were true or not, if it was going on in their family, you can understand. Absolutely. And then I think it was LaToya. She then goes on to basically say that they ended up resenting their mom because their mom knew. And then then there’s that whole issue as well. And I think that’s why like human behaviour is so complex. Yes, we want to make it so simple and I think that’s definitely the case in dentistry as well, when people just fail to have compassion. Number one for patients behaviours, patients reactions, you know, we often say that dentistry becomes very defensive. We do defensive dentistry because we always assume the patient is out to attack us. So I think in a way there’s been some kind of like trauma instilled in us. And actually even if I get a complaint now, which isn’t big, I think of the worst and I become this mess. You’ve been there as well, I know, in your career, which made you almost walk away and did make you walk away from your career because you go through something like that. And I think it’s instilled right into you. So it’s just a lot.

More living in fear, however that happens, be it professionally, personally, your body, your whole body and your brain adapts to that. Yeah, you become hypervigilant. And because it could happen, say if you’re a dentist, that could happen over 5 to 10 years. And you know, by the time you’ve been doing this for a while and you know you’ve become jaded, I guess, by what feels like a constant attack that becomes your norm. Yeah. So you don’t even know you can’t remember a time when you didn’t feel like this. And it’s not until you go to a therapy or coaching or invest that time in yourself that you start to realise, Oh well. So not everybody stays up till 4:00 in the morning worrying about work. You know, it’s those things that you just don’t realise because if you’re always with dentists, they’re all going through the same thing. You don’t necessarily know that it’s not normal.

With your dad, was there an element of, dare I say, forgiveness now?

Oh, massively. Because if you understand again, it doesn’t matter how you look at anything, your profession, your personal experiences, if you can understand the drivers behind behaviour, if you can understand the subconscious, how that massively impacts behaviour. If you can understand for me as well that why my mum. Would stay with my dad and look at the links. You start to realise it’s not personal and if it’s not personal, there’s no point in staying angry if it’s not actually about you. And it’s a broader picture. You then go, okay, it’s my time to heal me now. I don’t need to be angry. I don’t need to question why all the time. I’ve got enough of an answer to understand that this is not something you chose to do. This isn’t something someone wakes up in the morning and chooses to do. So I’m going to work on healing me. I don’t have a relationship with them now, but it took until I was about 37 before I realised that it was too toxic for me. And actually, um, it’s a strange situation because they’re obviously both still here. They’re still together. I have a brother and sister that are still in touch with them, but I’m probably the happiest, most successful I’ve ever been. And I’m not saying that’s for everybody, by the way. Not everybody can cut people out of their lives. Not everybody can just leave a profession if they’re super stressed. Not everybody can make that big break. But sometimes it’s the scariest choices that you make that bring you the most success, happiness and peace. So it’s always about working towards optimisation of self as we speak.

What’s your position on free will then? I mean, do you believe there is free will or do you believe that we’re all a product of our past and our experience and our reaction to that?

And I think if people and this goes back to something you said, if people are more educated, then there’s a lot more free will. If you are somebody that has been through a trauma and you don’t talk about it and you don’t share it and you don’t understand it and you adapt to that trauma and you are angry or you are suppressed or repressed, the subconscious is 95% of our thinking. So it’s always in control. And if you’re not willing to take the time to understand yourself and to sift through some of these things, then I would say largely those compulsions take over those impulsive behaviours. Again, if you look at addictions, you mentioned addictions there, alcoholism, you know, heroin. Yeah. You I don’t believe someone sets out to be an addict. It’s self-soothing. And when you’re in that mode of wanting to self-soothe, everything else is less important because you’re trying to soothe that pain. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s sexual abuse or addiction, someone who sexually abuses a child is self-soothing on some level. I mean, that’s a massive subject. But, you know, one of the things that we spoke about before we started was suicidal rates within dentistry. Yeah, it just shows that there’s not good education around mental health. In dentistry, there’s none coping mechanisms, conversation. And those things give us more a sense of control and free will. I think rather than being completely in the faulty programming.

The thing is, is that it’s the tools, right? And we don’t have tools. And I think one of the main reasons we wanted to have this conversation was to give people tools to help them. And I think that it’s been years of understanding that and having the tools under my belt. You know, you and I always talk about society as well. I think society is something that I really get angry about because I always say I’m happy this way, but then someone comes along or ten people come along and tell me I shouldn’t be happy because of my the way I look or my way or the fact that I’m not married or something like that. I’m like and I’m annoyed. I’m angry. Like, why does society telling me to judge myself when I never judge myself for those things? But one thing that I do want to ask you is, is that you talked about people aren’t just born with this urge to have addictions, etcetera. A subject that I’m really interested in. I talk about trauma a lot is as well. Gabor Matei, which we’ve talked about, and he’s a trauma expert. I’ve brought him up lots in this podcast and with Gabor he’ll actually say that some people are more programmed to have addiction tendencies from as young as being in the womb. Yeah, so what makes somebody more susceptible, for example, to have addictive tendencies? And if they’re someone that, you know, as Payman would put it, are programmed a certain way, how do they cope with that? How do they find out if they’re that kind of person?

Yeah, so that’s interesting because you do see, for example, addiction, suicide, depression, anxiety running through families. But if you look at trauma, trauma has an impact. So if if you’re pregnant and you’re really, really stressed and you have unresolved trauma and I spoke about this actually before, I thought I had resolved trauma. And when I was pregnant, I became concerned that I would be a terrible parent because of. Widely experienced. And very early on in the pregnancy I was bleaching all the surfaces in the house. I started to pick up litter outside my house. It was like on another level, although I felt like it was completely normal and everybody else was odd for not doing this too. Then when my daughter was born, I had OCD around germs or OCD type. Thinking around germs didn’t really do much for a year, didn’t go out, didn’t really want people to come in. And then I realised I don’t know what it was. I think it was someone that said something to me and I felt very, very angry and I realised this isn’t normal. And essentially all that stress that I had carried, all that fear of wanting to protect the baby, all the experiences of wanting everything to be super clean and passing all of that down through to the baby. She’s growing in this environment where there’s all this stress, where there’s all these sort of OCD type thing thoughts and her first few months as well, Molly coddling her.

So those things create behaviours in the baby because they only have you to look at they only have you to be guided by. So if you’re anxious or if you’re overprotective or if you’re stressed, those things will have an impact on the baby’s behaviour. Now it doesn’t mean it wasn’t, you know, happy and all those things, but there was some behaviours that I can see now relate to past experiences and traumas. And then I wonder if you think about what my dad did, okay, he was sexually abused, but there’s some quite complex issues within his family. So how much of this is just trauma handed down again and again? And that’s where I think we see the genetic predispositions because we know DNA molecules change and can be handed down through generations. So actually, if someone’s had a lot of stress, you know, the grandparents will pass that down to their grandchildren. There’s some theories around that now. So I think that’s where you see addiction. I think that’s where you see patterns of behaviours and mental health issues within families rather than it being you are just predisposed to this full stop. So I think there is the nature plus nurture situation.

How often do you see each other?

Well, we actually see each other once every two weeks. And again, that was great because all the therapists that I tried before were like, you have to come at this time every single week. And I was like, But I don’t feel like talking this week. I’m all right. And I felt like I was coming and just trying to create conversations. Whereas Ali’s approach is a lot more relaxed because again, I felt like it was another pressure, you know, like dentistry’s so precious. I felt it was pressure to turn up somewhere and perform again, you know? So it works really well for me. And I think that, you know, now it’s what I call sort of like maintenance and tweaking where there’s certain times where I’m like Ella. And because I’ve done so much work on myself, I’m very aware of what’s missing. And I say to like, Oh, I’ve just I felt a certain way and I’m really annoyed with myself for feeling a certain way, and we unpack it and so forth, and we know what works for me. And as as you both know, I’m a massive talker. So a lot of talking works really well for me. Whereas we tried Emdr and I liked it, but I find it really hard to focus on something for a certain period of time. Yeah. So and also there’s some people that love a lot of written information, right? You know, the ones that really want to understand, like you said, the brain and like coping mechanisms.

But I’m much better at learning audio. So she sends me audio information. She’ll send me hypnotherapy sessions to help me sort of relax. That works really well because I like to do stuff on the go as well. So I want to make sure, whereas if I read, I have to be like really isolated. It kind of reminds me of university in school, which I didn’t love. You know, just being like with a textbook and going over things again. And that adds added stress. So I think it’s been one of the best things that I’ve ever done, and it’s created such awareness around my own habits, behaviours and thinking and as I said, like providing coping tools because within work, you know, especially now being a practice owner, I’ll call Ella and I’ll be like, Oh my God, this associate’s doing this, or they’re doing this. And I don’t know how to behave like a leader. But also all this anxiety is coming out because if a colleague speaks me a certain way, I feel like a failure. I feel like this. And we unpack all of that because the way that I feel is not the fault of everyone else. It’s reflective, as you said, of my subconscious mind, and that’s what needs to be tackled, not everyone else’s behaviour. It’s my response to their behaviour.

I think we talk about this, I talk about this with Prav quite a lot really. As a business owner, it’s very lonely being a business owner. No, I haven’t got the I’ve got three partners. Yeah. And he always says that to me. He says okay you only get a. Quarter of the pie. Yeah, but. But you’re never in the same lonely situation as I’m in where it’s almost like you against the world, because at some points, it can be you against your own team. Yeah. Or, like you said, an associate. Or you’ve got all the stress of patients coming in every day. And so that interaction where you’re using it to get out of the loneliness of that decision making.

And I can understand that as well because I’m a clinic owner myself. Yeah. So I have those I have that experience of what it’s like if you feel like, you know, everyone’s against me and you know no one understands me because they don’t understand the pressure of keeping this all going and keeping it running smoothly. So having that again, those different perspectives is really important. And as you talk about there with coping mechanisms, I think this is so important. A lot of therapists are trained in one modality, so they will give you, you know, it might be CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy tools, evidence based thinking, which is important, but if you’re not much of a reader, if you’re if you haven’t got time to do that, then I would always look at what works for this person. Because if I give you one thing that I’ve given to everybody else and say it’s worked for two people, what about the other eight people that it doesn’t work for? You can’t have that linear approach. I believe with therapy you have to deal with the person and that very somatic approach because if you’re not looking at what’s going on in their body, you’re missing a huge part of what’s going on for them overall. I mean, if someone says to me, I’m anxious, I’m like, Right, okay, so how do you feel? Anxious, Not okay. So tell me about, you know, what’s gone on for you. How do you feel? Anxious. How does it present? Because every body is unique and what looks like anxiety to one person. It’s a bit like trauma, doesn’t look like anxiety to another. And everyone’s so good at masking it. So we have to get down to do you even know what’s going on in your body when you feel anxious? Are you slowing down? Are you taking the pause to pay attention to your body or are you just carrying on regardless?

You know what, though? I think that’s a really interesting point because when I look at generational reactions as well, I know that some of your colleagues recently described when I say your colleagues, I mean people that are kind of in the older generation, they were like pandemic hit. I’m really healthy, but all of a sudden had a heart attack or all of a sudden like something went on with my body and they act like it came out of the blue. But for me, I’m thinking with all the knowledge that I have, Did it come out of the blue? Were you just masking all your stress? Were you just like trying to keep calm and carry on sort of attitude? Because that’s definitely my parents generation and the kind of trauma they experienced, which was war, you know, literally war in the Middle East. They’re like, why are you anxious? You have everything. You know what I mean? So it was very much like, you have to keep going. And it wasn’t until my body started getting physical symptoms that I realised that I had all this unprocessed stuff that was going on. And I see that a lot in the older age group, particularly the older dentists, and I think they find it hard to empathise with the younger generations because they were like, We never had mental health, we never had anxiety, we just got on with it. But then it will manifest as a heart attack. Do you see what I mean? But they don’t say think. They think it’s completely separate things. But more and more I’m understanding you’re having I think.

What you’ll find it’s a very interesting point. It’s a very interesting point you’re making. And I’ve been that older dentist who thinks like, why are they all complaining so much? I’ve certainly been there. But what will happen is you’ll be that dentist too very soon because you’ll have someone complaining about their own tick tock, not not not getting enough views or something and get into a depressive state because of it. And then you’ll say, wait a minute, You know.

I don’t think she will, though, because Rona would say, What’s happening in your life that makes you hyper focus on your tick tock? Why is that so important to you?

And you have to you do know you have said this to me Payman that and I know Prav has said this. It’s my empathy. Where’s my empathy come from? My empathy is the recognition that no matter how somebody reacts, whether that’s anger, whether that’s sadness, whether that’s disgust, whether that’s bullying, something’s going on. And I understand that now that people’s reactions I actually got trolled the other day by a bunch of like Andrew Tate hating 18 year olds online, basically telling me that I wasn’t a high value woman. Okay. Let me tell you the story, because.

Hate loving.

Andrew Tate loving. So listen to this because this is an interesting point of discussion, right? I know a lot of people that love Andrew Tate, by the way, as well, like within the dental arena, a lot of my male friends. And it shocks me because for me.

It didn’t shock you. You should be the same. You should empathise and say they need they need some male male love and attention.

Well, this is the thing. And I do actually, because one of my male friends, he’s absolutely wonderful. He’s a great dentist and he loves Andrew Tate and he’s like massive conspiracy theorist. And it’s like, who is it who is not saying? We’re not telling you. Not telling you. So he massively believes the Matrix has gone out after him. And this this whole conspiracy. And Romania has just done this to do him in. And it’s because he’s trying to make the world a better place and we’re trying to stop that. Like one of those. He’s like trying to keep a straight face. It’s not Payman. Anyway, basically I was like, This is so toxic. I said, I don’t care if the 1% of things that he says makes sense. I said, I genuinely believe what he’s saying about women is so gravely dangerous. Because if he is, if he’s just saying and just that beating up a woman is okay and that video goes viral. And if he’s just saying it to go viral, that video gets in the hands of a 12 year old boy that’s being bullied at school in America. He’s the kind of guy that’s going to pick up a gun and start shooting down kids. Right. This is this is dangerous. Anyway, the point is, there was this meme that was out one of these meme accounts and it said the problems with dating women nowadays and it had all these issues tiktokkers only fans trying to make fun of what the dating pool’s like. But then it said 34. So I obviously piped up and was like, What’s wrong with being 34? Because I just didn’t really understand what the issue was. So I had some Karen come along and this Karen comes along and she’s like, she’s like, Um, because your fertility rates are low, you become less desirable as you get older and then you, you’re run through rate becomes higher.

Had to Google that. What’s wrong with through rate and she what is it. It’s that you slept with more people. She’s obviously generalising and then she said and men don’t want women women that are older. And I just said, well, I totally disagree because actually I’m a lot more confident in my 30s than my 20s. And it was that, again, societal toxic narrative that really got me to places where I felt so low because I was suddenly 30 and not married. And I was like, There’s something wrong with me. Oh my God, I’m going to be like, chucked away by society. But as I got older, I actually got gained more confidence. I think I felt more attractive. I got more attention. You know, there were things in life that I was like, Actually, life gets better in your 30s. Anyway, try to describe that. And then these bunch of kind of like 19 year olds from America were like 34 year old women are disgusting like all this. But the thing is, they were using a lot of terms that Andrew Tate uses. So they were using things like high value women, high value man, and he very much uses that word. That’s his dialogue. And I was like, okay, wow. And I always took a step back and I’m like, I’m deleting my comment. I can’t engage with these trolls. But the point is, I was like, again, like you said, there was a degree of empathy because I was like, the fact that you think this way is a reflection of you and a reflection of what you’re going through, and that’s quite sad. So that was it.

There’s been no vent for the male problem.

No, you’re absolutely right.

Meaning that’s the conversation around minorities, women. There’s been loads of conversations around these, but men’s issues have.

Men’s mental health issues specifically or.

Issues issues haven’t been discussed. And Andrew Tate’s become the lightning rod for that because.

Yeah, because, you know, it’s a very vulnerable area. If someone’s willing to talk about male issues. And so you would be able to listen to that and go, okay, some of that makes sense. But that’s a little bit too off the Richter scale for me. Like you say, a 12 year old boy that perhaps doesn’t have good role models, you know, for whatever reason, isn’t surrounded by strong, positive men. It sees this guy lots of money doing cars and goes what he said. And then they just take that on board because they haven’t got the ability to analyse that information, to make sense of that information, to really see the nuances in those larger topics. So it can be very toxic.

So what do you think is the solution, though, for men? Do you think we’ve moved forward and do you think Payman as well? Following on from that, when Ella answers, do you think that there is still a massive stigma with men speaking out about their mental health?

Sure.

I mean, I would say I’ve got 5050 male female clients, so I don’t know, again, if that’s just because it’s a different way of being a therapist, which makes people feel a bit more comfortable. Although Rona and I, we are online actually, so I do both online and in person. The clinic that I have, it’s a basement. It’s quite cool. You know, you come in, it’s not like a clinical room at all. It feels very I mean, some people walk in and go, Whoa, because there’s just lights everywhere. It’s beautiful. It’s a beautiful it’s like walking into a different planet. So it’s a very different vibe. So I think that’s how I’ve been able to cultivate this comfortable space for men. And actually I can tap into again a bit like you, I think being the empath, but not taking problems on board. For myself, I can tap into masculine energy quite well and I can tap into feminine energy quite well so I can understand the complexities of both sides of the coin, if you like, and all sorts of gender issues in between. So but with. Generally, I don’t think people are talking about mental health. They are talking about this surface confidence mindset, which is great, but there’s not many men that are publicly saying, let me just tell you, you know, about this thing that’s going on for me. And it’s you know, sometimes I don’t feel very masculine. Sometimes I feel like my wife doesn’t really listen to me, You know, she doesn’t really fancy me anymore. I look forward to sex on a Friday and she never gives me it. And I just feel completely undervalued because they don’t want to say that to their friends because their friends are going, Yeah, I’m having sex, you know, five times a week, different women every night. And so the guy that’s not getting that, not feeling loved, not feeling.

I think it’s a bit of a generalisation. I mean, I know what you mean, but you know, the Andrew Tate thing to start with. Yeah, there’s always been a character like that. It hasn’t been online saying crazy stuff to get clicks, but there’s always been a character like Hugh Hefner or someone from the 80s from the Or.

He’s been in the pub.

Yeah. And then this thing about men talking about men talk to their friends.

About the emotional level, about.

Those, about those things. I do. I do, but maybe some don’t. I get that. But there’s no doubt it’s the suicide is the number one killer of under 30 men. Yes, correct. More than car crashes, cancers, all of this. It’s the number one killer. Yeah. Yeah, it’s certainly. Men are going through something now, isn’t it?

Isn’t it? Did you say 30% there?

The number one killer of under 30?

Yes, that’s.

Right. Yeah, under 30.

So what do you think that is then? Because I think.

The conversation hasn’t been there for men and it’s been there for everyone else, but not for men.

When you say the conversation, what do you mean the narrative? The narrative? Because I think the narrative is is certainly over the last ten years, they’re more on mindset, confidence, how to be successful and all of that, but those more vulnerable topics.

So I think I think Harry Prince Harry was maybe someone who talked about it.

And he’s absolutely getting annihilated. Yeah. And you know what? I hate the.

Thing he’s getting.

He is he is talking about. He is. He is. And this is the thing that I find so depressing and actually gabol who I keep talking about. I’m going to send you his book, Gabor got Annihilated by the Daily Mail for giving Harry a platform to talk about his trauma. So Gamble was obviously a trauma expert. He was a survivor of the Holocaust. You know, he’s amazing. He gave Harry a platform, and the Daily Mail was suddenly like, Who’s this wacky psychiatrist who believes in psychedelic drug taking and, you know, completely sort of like character assassination. Now, with regards to Prince Harry, whether or not you like him, whether or not you like Meghan, for me, it’s abundantly clear that he has gone through so much and on some level, fine, he shouldn’t have cashed out or whatever it is, those reasons. But on some level, he’s actually just needs to talk. And although he’s doing it publicly, he just needs to talk. And I think that if he’s seeking refuge and finding support in public figures, that’s just what he needs to do right now. And that’s what I believe. And I’m.

No.

Controversial.

I’ve got no problem with that. But, you know, the question of, you know, he shouldn’t be more special than the next man who’s super stressed and about to commit suicide. And and, you know, we we come down to it. Okay. He lost his mother at age nine. How you how you feel that and how you translate that is the actual key. So, you know, Ella was saying it’s not it’s not the event. It’s how you how you translate the event and.

How the people around you allow you to allow.

That’s the they’re not allowed like.

Please Prince Harry. So of course that’s the way it’s not allowed. That’s the way it goes if you’re the prince of England. Britain.

Yeah, but he was born into that title, so he has the right now to break free from that. And that’s what I believe.

Look, you shouldn’t obsess on Prince Harry.

I’m not obsessing.

We should. We shouldn’t because. Because. Because it’s a totally different situation than anyone else is in. Yeah, It’s the third in line to the throne or whatever it is. Yeah.

But I think what’s important about him is that.

He brought it up.

He brought it up. Yeah. And I think what’s important about him is it just goes to show it doesn’t matter whether you’re royal, whether you’re a bin man, whether you’re a dentist, whether you’re, you know, everyone’s going to have a different perspective. It’s what we were saying earlier about little trauma, big trauma. Everyone’s going to have a different perspective. And if the more vulnerable narratives aren’t available or if the right therapists and coaches aren’t available that are willing to be vulnerable with you or with you and just say, look, I have been crazy at times, so whatever you’re saying here is definitely not going to be judged. I’ve been that crazy person who’s been full of anger, full of pain, does some stupid things. Whatever you say in here, I get it. You need someone that will go. You can be whoever you need to be. You can tell me whatever you need to tell me it’s safe. And I think when you’re not hearing that narrative and when you don’t know that’s available to you, if you’re talking to your friends about this stuff, that’s really, really good. I think a lot of people do struggle, even women. We think this is a male problem with vulnerability. Women do struggle to be truly vulnerable, too, because they are being judged 100% right.

I look at women sometimes in a in a cafe. Let’s imagine five women sitting together and all five are showing I am very happy faces. Yeah. Throughout the interaction. And you know, I always think to myself, you’re not all happy, you’re not, but you’re not allowed to show yourself as not happy in this situation. Now, I know one on one or, you know, in a smaller, more intimate environment, women may may talk to each other in a different way. But, you know, out there in public, everyone being so super happy, it’s like that’s the pressure, right? I think it’s a.

Societal.

Pressure, though. It’s happiness, but it’s me.

Living my best life. And there’s something called toxic positivity, which Ella would know about. Do you know about this? That’s toxic positivity, right? No, but it’s like, hashtag be happy, hashtag positive vibes only. So I’ve got a few friends that are psychotherapists, and obviously I work with Ella and they’re like, It’s so toxic. It is not normal to be happy 24 over seven. And creating that narrative actually makes people even more depressed. It’s like we’re not robots and be like everything is cookies and everything is wonderful and great. I actually want to ask you about another thing as well. What’s your thoughts on toxic masculinity? Do you know what I mean by that?

Pei Andrew Tate.

Lol Well, I’m saying I want a more definitive.

Did you just say LOL Yes.

Oh I always say that he’s used to it now. Literally.

She says it when she’s not smiling. Yeah.

Oh. You know what’s even funnier is that sometimes my friends will text me on Instagram like Louis. He goes lol babe lol that’s all he’ll say because it’s like, But it’s between me and my best friend Nino. And what we do is we don’t. No one knows, but we’ll look at each other and we’ll know exactly what we’re talking about. Lol babe blob could be lol not lol but it could be like lol lol. Anyway. So toxic masculinity for people that don’t understand it. What does it mean?

Essentially the way I see toxic masculinity is feeling like you have to be a certain type of male feeling like you have to promote that. You have to share that with everybody else. You can’t just be, you know, you can’t just break down and cry and then go and speak to your friend about it because that would be seen as too girly. You know, you’re not being a man man up. You’re not you’re not putting your woman in her place, man up. It’s those kinds of phrases. What do you mean? What do you mean? You’ve got a Hoover that’s a pink job, not a blue job. It’s those kinds of things. But then that can be very, very broad as well. Like, you know, not considering other people’s feelings, thinking this whole. This alpha male thing. But actually it’s a bit of a facade for most people because I think everybody’s multifaceted, everybody’s got different sides to them. Everyone needs to often.

Often it’s confidence to cover up. Lack of confidence as well, right?

Yes. However, and I’m going to be a bit controversial because I never know whether I’m one or the other. You can help me with this. With regards to toxic masculinity, do you also think that first of all, do you believe in gender roles? Second of all, do you think that women that are displaying displaying more alpha qualities and I’ve been told that tend to show then more masculine traits, which also then create a different type of dynamic within society, which actually makes it more difficult for men and women to interact.

So do I believe in gender roles? It’s very difficult because I will speak from personal experience, but also professional experience. I think there is a definitive feeling if you know you are female and if you know you are male, there are certain things that are very, very different within the genders. Now, for people that don’t necessarily feel either female or male, for people that are perhaps trans, they’ve got a slightly different experience. So I’m going to be really careful here because there is that middle ground. But on the whole, I do believe that people naturally, females, males feel certain things that the other gender doesn’t. So within that, I think it can be very, very difficult. I would say that I’ve got quite a masculine energy and I tend to get on very, very well with men. I don’t get easily offended. I’m quite open to hearing a conversation, even if I don’t agree with it. I don’t take it personally. Whereas there and actually I think, um, I’ve been called aggressive at times. Certainly when I was younger, not so much now I don’t have the energy to be aggressive anymore, but I certainly would have been labelled. Is aggressive, but I was just a go getter. I was determined. I was very, very dedicated to my purpose. So I think I was very much about not that I don’t need friends, but, you know, I was very much masculine in that sense that I was following my path. And the other stuff, the fluffy stuff, if you like, didn’t really matter. And I think a lot of people struggled with that 15, 20 years ago because it wasn’t necessarily the norm.

In the corporate world. You often see women acting like men a little bit. Yeah.

I think now, I mean, would you say that I have masculine energy? Tell me the truth. Really? Not at all. Even with the kind of boss sort of like energy.

No, you’re not. You’re not that kind of boss at all. You’re hugging your staff the whole time, buying them flowers. But. But look, look. In fact, I would say you’re quite the opposite. I’d say you’re one of the rare breed who carries off being a strong woman in a feminine way, which is. Which is rare. It’s rare in the corporate world. You can’t set up the the environment like you can. Chelsea Dental can be exactly as you want it to be. The vibe can be exactly as you want it to be. The people, the environment. You’re in full control of the atmosphere. Whereas if you work at Procter and Gamble and you’re an ambitious woman in a way, you’ve got to feel in line with that male culture. And then you have to say the things that men say. And then for me, that’s a bit of a shame because it would be really lovely if there were more women who were feminine but strong.

So it reminds me of the 90s and in the 90s I was in my 20s and there was a show and I can’t remember what it was called, but the the term at the time you remember is and you may even remember, I don’t know, was ladettes, wasn’t it? And there was a show and that was Sarah Cox and Sarah Cawood. And they did this segment. What was it called?

Um, I can’t remember, but they did.

A segment which was called Wanker of the Week. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember it?

Yeah.

I’m clearly too young for this.

Yeah, it was a great show. It was a brilliant show. It was a brilliant show. I forget the name. Go on.

But it was then it was kind of like you could again, you could look very feminine, but you were you were going to be drinking beer and you were going to be, you know, football fan, football fan. So yeah, so that so I wouldn’t if we’re thinking about masculine energy in that sense, I don’t feel like I have that energy, but I feel like I suppose I’m, I can relate to masculine energy. Maybe that’s maybe how you feel as well.

I genuinely speaking, like, look at my clinic. As you said, it’s sort of 90% males I think, you know, out of the clinicians we have one female dentist and I haven’t done that on purpose. It’s just generally who I’ve sort of meshed with. However, having said that, there are times that I have found it difficult to assert my authority as a female, not because anyone’s made me feel a certain way, but I definitely think if I was an older guy, I don’t think this boundary would have been crossed. As in like sometimes I’m maybe that’s because I’m a bit relaxed. Do you see what I mean in terms of like my approach? And then I become a little bit more resentful.

But I think, look, we all have that. Yeah, we all have something that if we weren’t this way.

X, y, and z.

X way, then it wouldn’t be so.

So, so do you think but do you think the way that female roles have adapted over the last sort of 5 to 10 years have also somewhat made males feel a certain way? Does that make sense? Because they are taking on particularly I know look, in the dating pool. We hear it all the time, right? People are like women now can fund for themselves. It’s not like my parents generation. You know, people got married much earlier for financial reasons, you know, for example. But now women can pretty much do everything in the provider role. Do you think that that is healthy, unhealthy? I’m asking as a general conversation.

Let me let me tell you something controversial that one of my friends said to me that a woman should never earn more than her partner. And I thought it was very misogynistic thing to say. I thought, you know, why not? But then he pointed out amongst our friends, where any time where that’s happened.

The man felt emasculated.

The relationships failed. Not every time there’s there’s 1 or 2 where it’s worked. And so in a way, I had to sort of change my mind on it because I thought that was a really, really wrong thing to say and wrong thing to feel. But you’re right, the man does feel emasculated by that. And so the woman in that situation has to do something to make up for that. Yeah, it’s.

What do you think, Ella?

For now.

I so I remember again being slightly. The older, the sort of early 80s. And I remember the communities were very, very different because if women worked, it was part time and they would be at home with the children, doing the shopping, doing the cleaning. On the whole, generally, and the husband was the main provider and the women had a community of women and the husband would go to the pub or go and play snooker or go to the football. And it was a very clearly defined role. And there’s nothing wrong, in my opinion, of women. I am one of those women that is a go getter, wants to earn my own money, wants to provide for myself. I think that’s partly a survival thing as well, needing to feel in control. But you are right. There are men that would feel emasculated by that because primitively going back to the primitive brain, men are designed to be the hunter gatherers, women.

Were the hunters. The man, the gatherer is the woman. The woman, Yes. Sort of that predisposition.

And there’s a really good book which is called and I can’t remember the author’s name, which is really awful, but it’s called Sex at Dawn.

Yeah. Yeah. Chris Ryan. Yes. Great book. Yeah, it’s.

A very good book. And it talks about how, you know, sex has changed over the years. So it goes from hunter time, primitive times, and then it looks at how agriculture changed things because money was coming into play. And then it looked at Victorian times and polyamory, you know, monogamy now and all the different aspects of sex. And actually reading that book, it’s really interesting because it reminds you of the biological differences between men and women. Again, we’re talking about men and women, not non-binary and trans, but the gender difference is there. And the drives there’s about 100 men, I think at least 100 gender differences in the brain between a man and a woman. On average, men have seven times more grey matter, which makes them very, very focussed and tunnel visioned. Women have generally ten times more white matter in the brain, which then links to all the other processing areas, which means we’re better at multitasking.

Although millennials don’t accept that men and women are different. I mean, we had.

Millennials as Gen Z, mainly Gen Z, we.

Had Shivani here, and Shivani is a very ambitious podcast. And if you’ve come across. Yes. The I asked the question, I said, Look, both of you are very ambitious women. How do you think having kids is going to affect that? And her answer was, Well, why are you asking me? Why isn’t it why isn’t it the man that that is going to get affected by it? And my my initial thought was clearly someone who’s never had a child. Yeah. So it does change things because it changes it for the woman more than it changes it for the man.

If it depends on which point actually.

On the radar, I know it.

Depends on which point. So I’ve got a daughter, she’s 15, and at the time that I had her, I was in the beginnings of, you know, building my practice and, you know, doing all sorts of things and becoming solely self-employed. And, you know, it was definitely a different experience for me than it would have been for a guy who wanted to do that, because I wanted wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. And and I don’t know if I would have known that until I had her. But that didn’t stop my ambition. It just gave me more obstacles, I guess, to work around. So I think the reason that it’s still important to have that conversation is because there are clear biological, physiological brain differences. And if we ignore that and we don’t have the conversation, then I think men actually feel a little bit uncomfortable and confused about what they can and can’t say. And I think actually it’s really important.

I think society, I think we’re all uncomfortable, but we can and can’t say and we’re ignoring that we are dealing with like physiology. It’s like you can be in, say, and do whatever you please. But we’re biological beings and we’re all different from person to person. I think people are just trying to ignore that completely. Yeah.

I think that people want to have it all these days, and for a woman to have it all these days means I want to have children and have a career and this and yeah, and maybe we have to have this conversation about you can’t have it all. Well, I will. Well, listen, if I was doing it, I want to I want to backpack across South East Asia and I want to have a business here. Yeah. That the two things can’t happen at the same time. Yeah. Oh, I want to have it all. I want to. I’ll figure it out. I’ll get zoom in Thailand and all that. Oh, but I also want to be in Vegas partying with my buddies, and I want to.

Of course, 12.

Year old children. You can’t have everything. But you know what?

You know, I’ve also on top of LR, I had a fantastic life coach and she said to me that acceptance is a really great way to heal. Because what you’re saying is, is that when you commit to a long term relationship, you can grieve not being single, you can grieve, not being able to be with other partners or have those desires that you can’t fulfil and grieving it is okay. And it’s that’s part of letting go. So instead of trying to sort of suppress it or fulfil it, you just grieve it and it’s okay because everything life is nuanced and because you can’t achieve all those things in conjunction with each other. When you let go of one part, you’re like, And that’s with anything. Because when I do have a child, if I do, my career is going to be on the back burner for a bit. Naturally it will, like you said, biologically time, etcetera. And that’s okay. And I can grieve that for a little bit, but I can accept that something new has come into my life, you know, and like you said, people want to have it all. And that’s why as well, I believe that, you know, people want to be in a relationship, but they want to cheat at the same time because they want to have both of those experiences, you know, And it’s like, well, you got to make choices. Essentially. We have been speaking for ages, but I’ve still got some kind of more Dental stuff to go through with you. So as you know, as we said, dentistry has one of the highest suicide rates. We’ve got very ambitious professionals that put a lot of pressure on themselves and feel extremely isolated. What do you think? Some of the simple things they can do, some simple tools they can do on a daily or weekly basis to help themselves, particularly if they’re suffering in silence?

So I always talk about tiny chunks of change. We can’t be we have to manage expectations not only of ourselves, but each other as well. So if you’re looking at some coping mechanisms or ways that you can implement change in your life, you almost need to apply habits within habits because it’s too much for someone who’s a dentist that’s very, very busy, that’s got family, that’s got, you know, whatever going on to do too much all at once. The first thing is always seek out a support system, even if it’s not people that are within your family or your friendship group. There’s loads of different ways. You’ve mentioned that you’ve had a coach. You’ve also got psychotherapist. You’ve reached out to Sunny. I think really making the choice to prioritise yourself is the first important choice. Now, no one thinks twice about getting a pet or a gym membership and looking after their fitness. It’s normal. Everyone does it. There’s no shame in it. And most people will at some point do some exercise. So we need to just look at exercise as broad as we can and look at exercise in the brain as well. So habits and habits are really good. So, for example, if you feel burnt out, it’s about planning. You can’t if you if you’re burnt out now, you’re burnt out now what are we going to do about it? How are we going to manage that? We can’t do too much to change it now except for take some time out, you know, go for mindful walks, do those kind of things.

But actually it’s just planning ahead. Sure, you have to be reflective. That’s a really important tool. If you’re going through something and you feel constantly anxious, constantly stressed, angry, tired, fatigued, aches and pains, you have to be reflective and write down all those symptoms. I’ve got headaches. I’ve got gut issues. I’m tired. I’m getting angry at the kids, write them down. And then you need to say, Well, what can I do about each one of these? This is where we talk about habits and habits. So for a lot of people that are angry or anxious, they are probably in dysregulation a lot of the time. Their vagus nerve, which I mentioned earlier, which is that main cranial nerve out of the 12 that links to the gut, is probably lacking in tone because it’s been overused, because you’ve been stressed for so long. So vagal toning exercise is really important and there are lots of little ways that you can tone. One is breathing exercises. So breath work, even if it’s five minutes a day, it’s about creating a routine.

So five minutes a day of breathwork, but also cold showers. Everyone shudders, plunges the plunges. But you know what? It’s not realistic to do that for most people every day. So I always say at the end of your shower for the last two minutes of the shower, turn the temperature down by 30s and then 30s a bit colder. 30s a bit colder. Finish on cold water for 30s Then you build that 30s up to a minute to two minutes and eventually maybe five. You can do that every day if you want to. Most people will say No, thank you, but it’s very, very good for toning the vagus nerve, which means that your body is able to get back into balance quicker when you are dysregulated. Breathwork is the same thing. The vagal nerve runs. On the side of your throat. So breathwork humming anything like gargling water strengthens the vagal nerve. So after you’ve brushed your teeth. Glass of water, gargle for a couple of minutes. You know, breathwork at the end of the cold shower for five minutes. Box breathing is the easiest one to start with. Breathe in through the nose for four seconds. Hold for four seconds. Breathe out for four seconds. So you could basically do 3 or 4.

Out through the mouth or out through the nose as well.

If you can do it through the nose and out through the nose, that’s probably better. But if you can’t do that yet because you’re a bit congested, you’ve got hay fever or whatever through the nose, just start somewhere. And this is something I say to a lot of people. They’ll go, But actually I’ve been told that you should do 15 minutes of breathwork. You should go for a run every day. You should go into the cold plunge, four minutes for four minutes and actually people won’t do it. It’s not realistic. So when we’re setting habits or goals, they have to be smart goals, specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed. And we have to start off with bite size chunks. You know, if you don’t have a lot of green space, get plants in your office or in your house so that you are surrounded by the nice oxygen that the plants provide and that you’re getting that visual of the green space. Try and stand outside for five minutes a day and just get the fresh air. There’s so many tiny chunks that you can bring into your day that once you start, you might find that two of those work brilliantly for you. The rest are a load of rubbish, but they’re the ones that you then focus on to start really practising exercising the brain and exercising the nervous system in the best way so that you can strengthen the vagus nerve and you can bring yourself back into homeostasis.

The other thing that I wanted to ask you is and I know Payman would agree, is that as dentists, we tend to catastrophize things a lot. So as we said, if there’s a disgruntled patient because I think it’s what under the wrath of so many governing bodies, it’s the same in your profession. Yeah. So because of that, we go into catastrophe. We’re like, I can’t my life is over. My career is over. And I think that’s what often makes people lead to those decisions like suicide. So when someone’s experiencing what they consider to be a catastrophic event, but they can’t share it with the public or even their colleagues because there’s so much shame. A patient’s suing me. A patient’s this, a patient’s that. There’s a lot of shame, I think are still around that they don’t want to talk about it. They don’t have a support system, so they’re internalising it. What would be your advice?

I mean, always reach out to a professional in that situation. If you know your catastrophizing and you think this is really, really grabbing a hold of me, I’m really struggling every single day. I’m nervous. I can feel like my chest is tight, My stomach’s whirring all the time. Really. It’s reaching out to a professional. That’s the first step. But if you’re not ready to do that, I know everyone’s going to go, Oh, boring. But writing it down on a piece of paper and actually applying evidence to those thoughts, what’s the evidence that this worst case scenario is going to happen? Because nine times out of ten, what you worry about does not happen. You know, I mean, that’s not actually a statistic, by the way. Nine times out of ten, that’s just a turn of phrase. But most often what you worry about won’t happen. And when it does, you actually cope with it far better than what you thought you would, because the catastrophizing is just that it’s blowing it out of proportion. So first of all, recognising, oh, I am catastrophizing, okay, I should reach out for professional help. I’m perhaps not ready yet. I’m a bit nervous. I don’t know how I’m even going to begin to do that. How do I find the right person? Write it down and actually online. If you wrote in free worksheets PDFs for catastrophizing, Google will show you loads of free PDFs. You can just download, you know, and you could save them to a little digital folder and you could easily start using those templates. It’s a good place to start, but after that, if you really still feel very dysregulated, if you can’t sleep at night, I do think reaching out for professional help in a real crisis, obviously someone like the Samaritans or other crisis lines, if you really don’t have that ability to wait and you’re in a complete crisis, you know, in terms of suicide, the problem is with suicide.

When people plan to take their own lives, they actually feel relieved and quite happy because they they know they’re getting out of something that feels impossible. So they’re often not in crisis at the time they’ve decided they’re going to take their life. It’s before that. So I think as dentists, what you’re doing here is quite phenomenal because it’s about opening up the conversation with your team members. You know, if you have a clinic, I think dentists that do run clinics need to be much more forward thinking in being role models, which is why I love what you do. Being a role model for the people that work in your clinic and for other people in the industry. Because like CEOs and leaders, if you’re not being the role model, how do you expect anybody else to look after themselves? You have to model that behaviour that’s so important. If you were at the top in any business, you have to be the role model. That’s where it starts. And then I say to people all the time when I’m helping them with business or whatever, if you don’t know what to do beyond that, get a consultant in that. Someone who’s specialises in wellbeing, wellness and bring some structures into the business. But if you’re not modelling it, it’s pointless. It’s a waste of time. You have to be the role model.

And sometimes anxiety and depression manifests as those physical symptoms that you’re talking about. But sometimes am I right in saying sometimes it manifests a sort of numbness?

Yes, flight. That’s fight. Flight, freeze. Yeah. So when you’re in freeze, the feeling of numbness can be almost deafening, you know, if nothing matters.

And I’ve been I’ve certainly been in times of that, you know, weeks of that in my life. But in a dental practice, the thing that does your head in sometimes is, you know, is this all there is? You know, you’re in this room and your impact is on, you know, you can count impact however you like it, right? You can count your impact on one human If you if you changed one person’s outlook, you can say, well, that’s amazing. Or you can you can count it in a sort of negative way. You can say that my impact is on Kensington. Yeah, Yeah. You’re aware of your practices within a three mile radius of your practice, and almost this feeling of, you know, is that all I’ve did? Because a lot of times dentistry, especially in rowena’s generation, they they to get in is a nightmare. Yes. In my day wasn’t so hard. But as the younger the youngest dentists are, it’s super hard to get in. And so there are these super ambitious people who from when they were 12 years old or 13 years old, started studying and doing the right sciences, getting into the dental school. Dental school itself is a massive trauma for most people because the first time you’re treating a patient, but they.

Do this thing as well. And I think this is where education needs to change.

Like education is all wrong.

Yeah, but the thing is, is that you remember in dental school, so what they do is they say you have to be so academic to get in. So you get this pool of people at 50 really academic people and they make the assignments so hard and they’re like, No, no, no, but you just need to get a C and you just need to pass. You’ve got it’s really it’s quite traumatic. Again, another little, little trauma. You’ve gone from being an A student doing really well and they’re telling you that even though you’re working even harder in dental school, you’re just going to get by because that’s what you’ve got to aim to do. Do you know what I mean? It was just a weird psychology.

I was a C grade guy generally. Oh, were you? Yeah. So but then but then. Okay, you’ve been through all of that. You’ve been through dental school, now you’ve become a dentist. You know nothing now then you start practising and learning going on courses. You might even own a practice. Then you’re sitting there in this room thinking, Well, is this all it was?

So it’s the anti-climax.

Well, some people like Rhona, she’s fed by relationships, so a patient will come in and just the conversation will feed her. But there’s loads of dentists who aren’t that way inclined, you know.

And they’re very scientific.

Very scientific.

Actually. They love. They love the stuff that’s like, tell me about like the molecules.

You know, almost the patient interaction for them. Hate it in the way, you know, they’re just fitting stuff on teeth.

So if that’s the case, I suppose everyone’s got a purpose. What would be the purpose, do you think, as dentists of the more scientific dentists, what’s their purpose? What gets them problem solving?

Right. That that’s one side of it and the other side of teaching. But the other side of it is the actual work, you know, the actual DIY. They want to take.

That like they want to take the patient is in like the personality, the head. They literally just want to take the teeth out of the body and just deal with the teeth. Do you see what I mean? So like the operative side without dealing with anything else, do you see what I mean?

Yeah, that’s interesting. So that again, that’s quite varied because of all the different personalities that you find within the industry. And does that do you find that that causes problems because it’s.

Not each one of them has its own kind of problems, you know. So I haven’t practised for 12 years now, but, but the thing I miss is the people. Yeah, I don’t miss the teeth, but I’m sure someone else I know plenty of dentists who love the drilling part, but. But this issue of is this all there is? You know, that did my head in the most about being a dentist.

What back then?

Back then. That’s why I started Enlighten. You know, the idea of this was this what it was all about?

You know, I think it’s so fulfilling and I think there’s such job satisfaction. It’s really interesting because I’m going back to the refugee camp. So every. Every year. Festivals back to Lesvos for the Greek and I’m working with the refugees. I’m going with my friend Chrissy. And it was really interesting because recently I found myself putting myself down thinking like, Is this all you are? A dentist? Particularly because I’ve had to fight really hard for media space and convince journalists in the media that we are worthy. Because you have to remember Payman you saw my journey. I was one of the first dentists that really pushed positivity in media for dentistry, you know, because I think, again, remember like ten, 15 years ago, it was like this dentist did this, this dentist botched. And again, it was society against us. And I really changed the narrative. That’s what really I mean, I literally knocked on the door of the Daily Mail until they would hear me out anyway, compare and despair space. I started comparing myself, as, you know, to my friends online that had social media success that was much more than mine. So I felt somewhat like a failure because I was like, Well, they’ve created these amazing companies and non dentists. Sorry, non dentist, non dentists, Correct. And the interesting thing is when I went to when we were talking to the guy at Lesvos who I’d met before, I was bringing on to the Lesvos camp, non dentists. And then it was like he doesn’t have social media. So he was like, But what skills, what’s their skills, but what’s the skill? And he was like, Well, you’re going to be treating this patient. I’m bringing Doctor Aaron, my colleague, You’re going to do this, you’re going to do this. And he’s like, But what’s the skill? And then I suddenly thought about it and I thought, We have a skill. Yeah, like, that’s quite incredible. All of us have worked seven years and more with CPD and we have a skill and that’s something not everybody has. And people have created an incredible online presence. Instagram dies, their business dies.

Yes, that’s so true.

Businesses don’t die, Do you know what I mean? Of course.

Plenty of dentists love their job. Plenty. Do you know? Plenty do. Of course.

So? So, with all that being said, because it is a skill and we all need dentists. Is that simple? Not everybody goes to the dentist because people don’t prioritise dental health, but we do need it. And and you talked about that sort of very clinical space and sort of sitting in the room going, what is is this all there is? So we mentioned before we started recording as well the perfectionism within dentistry and how that could possibly be a bit of an impact as well as some of the litigation stuff and complaints and people not being particularly happy about having to go to the dentist. But yeah, I mean, how does that impact from from your personal experience, those things? How does that impact perfectionism?

I mean, yeah, people will stress about things that.

I stress about it all the time. And the thing is, is that naturally I’ve employed in my own clinic because I want my patients kept to be the best. I have employed some ridiculously incredible dentists and actually I get fear of judgement from them because I almost feel like I’m not as good as some of the clinicians. And the funny thing is, I have a different skill. I bring the patients into the clinic, the patients come to the clinic because of me, and those dentists rely on me for the internal referrals and they love working in my practice because as Payman knows, not everyone builds a multi specialist cosmetic practice. Yeah, without Google ads, without any of that, literally just through my social media. But then I get that imposter syndrome because I’m like, Oh, but I’m not as good clinically as them. And you know, my clinical works. It’s okay, it’s good, but it’s not like that level. If you have a trained.

Always someone better.

Totally. But I think yeah.

And you know, talking about perfection Dipesh. Yeah.

He’s ridiculous. He’s like the 1%.

He’s very, very good. But he gets depressed about some, some dentist in Brazil who did something. He does. He does. He wants to be the best in the world, you know, So for him, one guy on the other side of the planet is better than him.

Why does he want to be the best? That’s really interesting. And because that seems to be a common theme.

Well, yeah, because it all fails is the thing. You know, the sort of the dirty secret of dentistry is that when when when you get something.

Done, it doesn’t last a lifetime, which patients don’t get.

It doesn’t last. And sometimes it’s a millimetre thing. I mean, one millimetre is a long a big thing in dentistry. It’s huge. It’s got to be your margins are much smaller than one millimetre. Yeah. And so, you know, you’ve got to constantly worry that that thing you did is never perfect. It’s always some form of compromise. And when is it going to fail and and how is it going to fail?

So you’re always expecting the complaint.

Not necessarily complaint.

Complaint, but a.

Failure. A failure. It’s going to it’s going to stop working at some point. And you’re doing everything you can to make it last as long as possible.

But isn’t that a bit like a mechanic as well? You know, because obviously with cars you can fix it and then six months later, but the.

Car doesn’t matter as much as someone’s, you know, someone’s.

Well, I disagree with you. I think it’s all about value. Right. It’s about value again, because you say a car doesn’t matter. And, you know, like famously like coachman and Miguel Stanley will be like, well, actually, I am going to charge this amount for teeth in the mouth because if people are willing to pay that much for a Tesla, they can pay that much for their mouth because their mouth is that it’s the value, right. And I was having, again, a discussion online, as you know, I post a lot of stuff about treatments abroad and everything like that. I keep stipulating that there’s dentists like amazing dentists all over the world. Gallup Gazelle is a Turkish dentist who is incredible. And someone said online, Oh, my sister is a technician. And she said that the UK can charge as much as Turkey, but they just don’t want to. As little as Huh.

As little as.

Turkey. Yeah, she said sorry, as little as she goes because they just don’t want to. They just the dentists are just greedy. And this was in response to a case that my patient had posted. So you saw she went abroad. She got a life threatening infection because of the work that was done. It took us 60 hours of clinical time to fix it. Five specialists, lab work, which was over £10,000, etcetera. And I turned to her and I said, Well, it’s all about value because she was and she was like she said, the materials themselves don’t cost that much because her sister’s a technician. I said, Yeah, well you can buy a dress from Primark and you can buy a dress from John Lewis. Same material. But you’re not just paying for the material, you’re paying for all the other stuff. And it’s the value around that. Yeah. So I think that’s the thing to, to realise. And sometimes dentists feel the value sort of issue. Should I be charging this much? Do you see what I mean? I think that’s it.

It’s a UK thing too. I mean you must, you must have it in your field too, right? Yeah.

In the in the US they’ll happily pay for psychotherapy. Yeah.

I’ve got, I’ve got a cousin in the US who drives a helicopter, he’s a dentist. He’s like and, and his patients are really happy.

That he’s driving, that.

He’s driving a helicopter. Yes. Yeah. Whereas here it’s, it would be seen as a sort of greedy. Greedy. Yeah.

Yeah. And would you say with the mental health issues within dentistry, is it more within the NHS or more within or is there no real.

I’d say it’s both.

I’d say it’s both. I’d say because actually when people pay, they feel like they’ve got almost sort of more leeway to say to say something, let’s say. Right.

I’ve got one final question for you, though. I’m really interested in your Ted experience. Yes. How did it come about? And then do you do they make you, you know, like is it that flawless performances that you see on Ted? Is that something that ends up like do they make.

Sure.

Not? I didn’t watch it all.

It’s funny. I mean, I, I try not to be flawless, actually, because I always try to promote Let’s be real about this. You know, you go on to do a Ted Talk and it feels like a big deal, so you’re going to be nervous. And I think I referenced at some point that my heart was jumping out of my chest, you know, because it was it was. And as I was talking about fear and phobias, I thought it was an appropriate time to say, by the way, I feel like I’m having a heart attack. But also on the night, there were some people that weren’t particularly prepared and they were using scripts, so they weren’t even talking to the audience. So I was where was it? It was in Northampton. So I was surprised that there wasn’t more preparation because I was prepared, but I wasn’t flawless. And it came about actually, I think I said to you off camera the I’d worked with a guy, no jokes, who had had a dental phobia. And he came to me many, many years ago. And then I continued to work with him in a business role, actually, in terms of leadership to help him get to CEO. And he knew the person that was organising the Ted Talk and he was just like, You have to have this girl. She. And he said, I never I won’t say his name. He said, I never tell anybody this, but she cured me of this dental phobia. I hate the word cure, but he used that word. But she’s phenomenal. She knows so much about the brain. She does this and she’s done all the leadership stuff with me.

I concur.

And so thank you so much. And so he put the good word in for me. So if it wasn’t for dental phobias, it would never have happened.

There we go. We’ve done a full circle.

I actually want to end on something else. I always ask my guests the question that’s going to throw them off a little bit. So with all the work that you’ve done now, what is still your greatest fear, if you’ve had any?

That’s a very good question. I think the greatest fear is probably a bit like you were saying, there’s a little bit of imposter syndrome. Is am I actually doing this properly? You know what? If I’m not doing this properly, what if I’m not actually doing what I set out to do? Because I said to you at the beginning of this, I always wanted to be the person that I needed. And what if I’m failing at that? And I’ve got to be I’ve got to be that person. So it’s.

Responsibility.

It is a massive responsibility. So the fear is, is am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing here? Now people give you lovely. Feedback. And I don’t know about you and I don’t know about you, but when someone says something nice to me, a little part of me still goes. Yeah, but you’re just saying that.

Yeah, 100% all the time.

Yeah.

But it keeps me grounded and humble and driven to be the best version of myself.

I’m quite interested in, you know, the thank you, the really proper from the heart. Thank you. That a patient sometimes gives you as a dentist. I missed that one so much. That’s one of the things I miss so much about being a dentist. Well, that’s the thing that makes no sense at all. That one. Thank you can make your day, but it’s about. It’s actually makes your day.

It’s about that job satisfaction, you know, It is about that job satisfaction. It’s about knowing that you and that’s, again, a proven thing. You know, it has been proven that if you do something and your professional life, which makes a difference to someone else’s life, it makes you happier as a human being. That is why people in finance, no matter how much money they earn, sure there’s exceptions. Find those jobs so soul destroying because there’s not that one on one help. You do not feel like you’re making a difference in the world.

Yeah.

I mean, dentists do help massively with pain. How confidence, how you feel about yourself when you smile. And also if you if you’ve got a good relationship with the dentist. I think that’s like a good relationship with anybody. It makes a difference to your day if you look forward to going to the dentist because the dentist is a friendly, smiley person, that does make a difference and that can be the purpose, isn’t it? Is making a difference. Doesn’t matter what your profession is, you can be a binman and actually make a big.

Difference hundred percent.

If you’re passionate about.

Your job. Yeah.

I have the best cleaner. He just comes in smiling and I just think like, I’d hate to clean that clinic, you know, just because it was the loveliest person and it makes.

Oh, you know, billionaires who are sad and you must have patience. Yeah. And then people, people in debt who are happy, it’s.

Like, Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. I’m going to ask you one more question you don’t need to answer If you don’t want to, I’ll answer anything. Oh, on our other podcast, we try and do a version of Blackbox thinking, Okay, do you know? Yeah. So? So mistakes. Yeah. And often dentists don’t don’t discuss their mistakes and we don’t learn from each other’s mistakes because everyone hides them. Because. Yeah. When have you made a mistake with a patient? What comes to mind?

Hmm. That’s a very good question. When have I made a mistake? I think sometimes it’s boundaries, actually. Um. Not so much now. I went through a transition, actually, of. Of trying to become the therapist that I am today. With all the fear of not being too open, you know, being that blank canvas for the patient, the client. And so there was times where when you’re practising like being warm and open and vulnerable, where perhaps you give the wrong signals. And there was this one time this was a mistake, and I didn’t know it was a mistake at the time, but I was wearing a shirt. It wasn’t low cut or anything, but I had an itch on my shoulder and I so I was rubbing my shoulder and I must have stayed with my hand inside the shirt for some time, just on my shoulder. I wasn’t picking up on the signals from this guy that he obviously thought it was flirtatious. And he messaged me to say, you know, I’m reading the signals here. And, you know, I could see that you were sort of flirting with me. And I was like, what? I was scratching my shoulder and I just left it there. But. Okay. And I had to explain. No, no, no. I’ve obviously completely misread the room here because I was literally just scratching my shoulder. But, you know, that was very uncomfortable. So making sure that you’re really aware of boundaries and even those body language things is really important. So reading people, but you learn that as you you go through any profession and as you’re trying to transition from this type of therapist to this warm, open, vulnerable therapist that tells their story, that becomes more of a not a friend because it’s not friends, but it’s more of a friendly therapist than it is a clinical therapist approach. There’s the mistakes mainly there with boundaries, never anything too serious, but it can have serious ramifications if someone doesn’t understand boundaries. So that’s something that takes a lot of practice.

Business people are feeling so vulnerable that the smallest thing can become gigantic.

Yeah, Yeah. And you do have to be aware.

It is the same with people. Feel vulnerable down there.

100%. Yeah.

Oh my. I mean, if I want for another podcast, I will have to go on to some of my social media stalkers. They’ve rocked up to the clinic as well. And yeah. Wow, that’s another story. Anyways, thank you so much, Ella. It’s been incredible. Absolutely loved having you. I think this has been our longest podcast to date. You know, we’ve been chatting so much, but you are wonderful and I’m sure lots of people find this so insightful. You can find Ella online. She has loads of publications, a website, and of course, her own channels. So thank you again.

Thank you so much.

To find you.

I would say if you’re looking at social media, it’s at Ella McCrystal on Instagram and then Ella mccrystal.com on my website.

Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

A passion for drama and the stage run in the family for Trishala Lakhani, so it’s not surprising that her early dental career has gone hand-in-hand with appearances on the pageantry stage and as a TV documentary presenter.

Trishala discusses the stigma around becoming Miss GB, how the opportunity helped highlight the problem of acid attacks against women in India and the reasons behind her BBC documentary on Turkey Teeth.

Enjoy!

 

In This Episode

00.39 – The media, dentistry, and fame

10.05 – Turkey Teeth

21.39 – Miss GB, pageants, and stigma

30.00 – India’s Acid attack problem

34.14 – Dental school

37.55 – God, karma, and spirituality

42.45 – Black box thinking

47.54 – Plans and dreams

57.30 – Recognition and notoriety

01.09.24 – Last days and legacy

 

About Trishala Lakhani 

Trishala Lakhani has worked with oral cancer and trauma patients and in general practice.

In 2022, she won the public vote to become Miss University Great Britain but left the competition to pursue TV presenting and journalism.

Her first documentary on Turkey Teeth prompted a national conversation on dental tourism. It was nominated for Best Investigation of the Year at the Asian Media Awards and  Most Impactful Journalism at the BBC News Awards.

I don’t know the terminology. Educational supervisor. Is that your boss?

I was just so out of it. You’re just so enlightened. Smiles? No, because.

When I was a dentist, when I was dentist, they had different names.

Like a trainer.

The trainer. And then who’s the one above that?

That TPD. So they take care of.

You don’t even know.

This is Dental Leaders, the podcast where you get to go one on one with emerging leaders in dentistry. Your hosts, Payman, Langroudi and Prav Solanki.

It gives me great pleasure to welcome Trishala Lakhani onto the podcast. Trishala is suddenly burst onto all our TV screens. We I mean, a bunch of different things. I think you’re on TV every other week. Trishala as well as a history in the pageant world. Lovely to have you.

Lovely to be here.

Thanks for coming all the way. No, not at all. Thanks for.

Inviting me.

No, no, I think it’s an interesting story, and I think you’re probably appearing in front of everyone’s like feeds right now, and people want to know, who is this Trishala. So give us give us a little potted history of like, you know, when did you decide to do dentistry? And from the looks of your career, you’re veering away from dentistry quite a lot now. Was it was it a decision that you made and it wasn’t necessarily the right decision? Or would you have rather done something more media or just give me a little history?

How did it come about? I get asked this a lot, and I think growing up I was very academic. You’d never see me without a book in my hands. I was more kind of like the nerdy kid, but I was always into my media and it was so funny because someone commented on my an Instagram post the other day, a lovely girl. We were friends in secondary school and we kind of lost touch. But she said, I remember you saying you always wanted to be a TV presenter, so it was just so sweet that it kind of felt like a full circle moment. But so growing up again, really academic, really like nerdy. But I always wanted to I always knew that dentistry was not and it would not be enough. I loved dentistry and I still love dentistry. Dental school was tough, incredibly tough, and a lot of people fly through. But I was never one of those people that I can get kind of a lecture done in an hour and then enjoy my evening. It took me five, six hours. I was always the one that had to work a little bit harder. I found it incredibly tough, but dentistry was definitely the right choice for me. I don’t regret doing it at all, and people ask me that a lot. And and what I’ve also something I also always wondered throughout dental school and it was tough. I was I did use to question my choice. And I used to say maybe if I did journalism or English or something that kind of tied in with my media career, would that have been a better choice? But now coming out the other side, I just think I’m so glad I persisted because I don’t think I’d be where I am right now without it, honestly.

But as you were growing up, were you doing school plays and was that the thing?

Absolutely. Oh, my goodness, Yes. I was in every play. Like I wanted to just be on stage. I did Bugsy Malone fame, all of those things. Obviously, the Bollywood dancing, which most of us Indian girls do anyway, but always on stage. And I’m really lucky because I had such creative parents as well who really pushed us into that direction and were so supportive. They were there every show, every weekend. They would also push us for any opportunity. And even when I chose dentistry, my parents were like, Are you sure? Like, are you actually sure? I really wasn’t them. Absolutely not.

Push you?

Not at all. They were the ones who said you really need to think twice because they knew how much I loved the media and how much I wanted to to do the TV presenting and open that that can of worms. And again it was it was tough because it is a choice you have to make. But being from an Asian background as well, I didn’t know anyone that did journalism. I didn’t know anyone who was on TV. And I mean, let’s not kind of beat around the bush. We’re severely underrepresented when it comes to on television and on our screens. So I always thought even if I did go down this journalism route, it’s no guarantee. So I think at that time I made a decision to just go with what I knew. And also my sister was doing dentistry to my older sister. And so I had a good insight on what was what was to come. And again, I think it was the right decision.

Is your older sister also media type or not?

No, but so I’m one of three girls. My youngest sister is actually studying dentistry as well. Yeah, but she’s like she’s like the talented, most talented person you ever meet in your life. She sings. She’s an actor. But my older sister. No, she’s doing what every event I go to, she always comes with me as my plus one. And everyone just knows her as the person who drives Trishala around. But she’s just she works the room so well. But no, she’s not into it at all.

So your parents are creative. What do they do?

So my dad actually works in a he’s a banker, so he’s not actually creative by trade. But when he was younger, he still kind of like the radio presenting. He was an actor when he was growing up in India on stage and and he was a complete non academic growing up, like he always wanted to pursue the acting career and like singing and all of that kind of stuff, which is great. And he’s obviously incredibly talented as well. But I think at that time times were different. He wasn’t. As fortunate as I am to be in a position where we’re in a stable place and I can make those choices for myself. Because, I mean, again, let’s not let’s not beat around the bush when we talk about this. But my especially my generation, our parents had to work ten, 15, 20 times harder to give us the life that we have today. So they sometimes had to make sacrifices. And obviously he had to do that. But I’m very lucky that I am allowed to live out my dream.

I mean, you know, when we were kids, we all have sort of crazy dreams, right? People want to be sports people. People want to be celebrities. And especially these days. Right. These days, you know, you talk to kids, they all want to be famous. What is it about you that, you know, you pursued that and, you know, kind of starting to achieve that and others, you know, sort of give up that innocence and go go off and become a regular dentist. I mean, even now, you’re not doing that many days of dentistry, are you? Two days a week, You told me. Yeah. So is there a determination or is there this sort of unmet sort of feeling that you really, really want to be on stage or on on TV screens and why?

So, you know.

What have you have you thought about it? You gone into anything? Why? Why do I want to be.

You know what? I have.

Famous. I have I want to be famous. So this is the thing.

When I look back at last year. Yeah. And I think to myself, when was I my happiest? It was making the documentary. It was making that the documentary. It was planning the documentary during the research stages. That was the adrenaline that was driving me through. Obviously when it got released, it was lovely to hear how successful it was and everyone’s support, but it’s not the fame that makes me happy. And I really have to you know, when your life gets so busy and sometimes you’re so focussed on the accomplishments, you have to take a step back and think, what part of this has made me happy? And it’s not the fame. That’s why when people say you’re an influencer, you know, because people say, we have an influencer that kind of reach as well. Yes, I can create influence on the Internet. It doesn’t mean I’m an influencer and there is a negative connotation with that as well, because people put you want to be an influencer to go on like reality TV shows and then that’s how you become famous. That’s kind of the circle, they think. But for me myself, the reason I don’t want to say or I don’t want to be in quotation marks famous, I just want to do what I love doing. Yeah. Successfully and to the best of my ability. And and I think that’s what makes me the happiest. It’s not the fame. We talk about innocent dreams, right? Like, I wonder when you were younger, what was your innocent dream?

It’s a good question. I’ve got an innocent dream right now. Being an international DJ, I’m joking. Post-race. I don’t know. I’ve never had a proper I, you know, I never knew for sure. Never knew.

What did you what did you want?

I never knew. I never really knew, you know. So because I didn’t know I was like, well, my parents said, Hey, be a dentist. And I thought, All right, cool. My uncle was a dentist. He was a cool guy. Okay? So I did that. But then look at me now look, even this. Yeah, someone could say the same thing about me. I say, Look, why are you doing these podcasts? You’re trying to be famous, You know, there is that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the podcast, at the end of the day, I own a teeth whitening company, right? And so I’m not going to lie to you and say that we didn’t think this was a marketing thing. We started it as a marketing thing. And, you know, we just we started about five years ago doing a content approach to marketing. And this is just content, right? This is this is audio content. But now that I’ve done it, interesting what you said about what bit of it do you enjoy? I really enjoy the conversation. I really enjoy meeting you, really enjoy finding out know I’m curious person Right. So I’m now really interested in just doing it and now it feels like a hobby rather than anything else. And what is a hobby? Like something you enjoy, something you try and get better at or whatever?

Absolutely. It’s not about the obviously the thing is, when we post on social media, we want the traction. We want to have, you know, a successful post or successful real or successful podcast. But that’s the thing. So, you know, you talk about your curious and I think something I think we probably both have in common is we have inquisitive natures. I think that’s what drives people. As soon as the why is missing, like, why is this happening? Why is this happening? So is that why goes for me. I know I won’t enjoy it anymore and I hope it never does.

We should talk about the documentary because it really was groundbreaking in several ways. Yeah. Number one, what you said a dentist who actually leading a documentary. Presenting a documentary. We’ve never seen that before. And then number two, someone had to tackle this turkey teeth problem. I mean, if someone hasn’t seen it, it was it was all about turkey teeth and some of the journeys of people who’ve been there. How did it come about? Was it your idea and you pitched it to someone in media or.

How did it happen? Absolutely.

That’s exactly what happened. So I came up with the idea, I think, of what was I watching Love Island.

Okay.

So I had to think about that. I knew it was Love Island, so I was watching Love Island and they were talking about turkey teeth and all.

On Love Island. On Love Island between them. Yes. Okay.

Even this year, I don’t know if you’ve seen one of the girls said her type is turkey teeth. Um, and I was just like, okay, that’s interesting. And obviously I looked at it on social media and people were having these obviously full mouth of crowns. Like I was like, Oh my goodness. And they were like, complete healthy teeth, healthy mouths. So obviously I did a bit of research and I during uni I was always kind of dibble dabbling in like radio as well. So I had a few contacts through there. So I was thinking what to do with it, what to do with it. And then I found a producer and I just thought, I have nothing to lose and I just shoot my shot.

Emailed her.

Um, I messaged her on, on social media platform. I think it was Twitter.

What do you mean you found her? As in you came across her on Twitter? Yeah. Send her a message saying I’ve got an idea for her.

It was literally there’s no groundbreaking. Anyone could do it. Absolutely anyone could do it. That’s the thing. Um, and she go.

On and step by step, tell me, what was the process? She messaged you back and said, I’m interested.

Then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a phone call. Yeah. Um, and then we left it. I think I went to Bermuda with my family on a family holiday. I did. I did a lot of research. Now, this is the bit where you have to put your investigative hat on, because what you have to remember is I’m not a journalist, I’m not a qualified journalist. And when I say anyone can do it, and this is why it was actually anyone, I say anyone can do it. And it’s it’s just not true. Because if you have an idea, you need to pitch why you are going to bring that idea. What was different about me to bring that idea as opposed to one of their trained journalists who can do an incredible job, probably even a better job. So when people do when I say anyone can do it, anyone can do those initial steps by coming up with the idea and pitching it. But you need to put that hard graft in after. Yeah, Um, and I did. And then it went kind of radio silence for a few months. I was like, okay, well, I tried. Let’s just move on with, you know, with, with the, with the day job. Um, and then, and this was the year I graduated actually. So it was just after the pandemic. And then she loved it. And within a year we filmed and released the documentary.

But. But the steps. You. You met her?

No, we didn’t meet. You didn’t meet? We didn’t even meet. This was all done via email. Via phone calls.

So you said, I’m trishala. I’m kind of like presenting. This is a problem and.

I want to talk about. I didn’t even say I liked presenting. I just said there is an issue and this needs to be addressed.

Did you even send her a little video of yourself or.

No, I didn’t. I didn’t have a showreel I didn’t have anything, didn’t have an agent, nothing. I was just somebody who just graduated, you know, with the big dream.

I love that. But it’s very interesting. Yeah, because that sounds relatively simple, but that might have been the 99th thing. You tried since you were 11 to, you know, get on a play or get get on a radio. You know what I mean? Like that whole thing about the bottom of the iceberg and what people see and what’s gone into it.

Absolutely.

But you know what I will also say, and I think it’s important to acknowledge this luck is a huge part of this. I’ve had people saying to me, I’ve been a journalist. I’ve been trying to get a commission with these massive broadcasters for years and I haven’t been able to do it yet. I’ve studied journalism at the best journalism schools in the country. I’ve pitched the most incredible ideas, the most unique ideas, and here I am. I’ve just come out of dental school, you know, like 25, 26, just excited, like I’ve got an idea. And then I managed to get a commission and a documentary and now the.

Ball is sometimes sometimes the naivety. Naivety itself is an advantage, isn’t it? Yeah. You know, like if, if someone that classic thing, if someone had told me the nightmares, I would have to go through to to start enlighten. I never would have started it. Definitely not 100% not losing money for five years at the beginning. Really legal problems, staffing all 44 staff right now are handling all those people. But the naivety of it, you just think, well, let’s do it. And sometimes it’s your biggest advantage in life, but take me through the process, right? She said, Yes, let’s do this then. Do they then put a bunch of researchers at your disposal? No, you’ve got to do it all yourself.

Basically, I was found.

People online.

Who’d had.

Absolutely, Absolutely. And I’ve carried on doing that even through our projects. I’m currently working on that. That’s what I’m saying. Is that why it’s those conversations which really and and one thing I’ll also say is people see through fakeness and falseness. You need to be so genuine as to why. Like I’ve turned projects away just even if it would be great, whether it would be great coverage or great financially. If I know that my heart is not in it, I will not do.

It because it’s so hard. Right?

It’s and it’s just not worth it. It’s not worth the mental struggle of doing something every day you don’t love doing. And like I said, I’m in a fortunate position where I can say yes and no. I know a lot of people don’t enjoy their day job but feel like they don’t. There’s nothing against that. I completely understand. People need to do what they need to do, but I’m just lucky to be able to have that choice. But I will never do something I’m not committed to. And that’s what I mean. So that tenacity and that drive to kind of do that research, to find the sources, to find the cases, to stay authentic, it’s I think that works the best for sure.

Tell me tell me tell me the stories, then. Is it, as you would expect, is it that people had no idea what they were getting themselves into and got there? And then I mean, let’s let’s start with this. There’s plenty of people who’ve been to Turkey had that done to them come back and are absolutely happy and have no idea. Absolutely. They’ve damaged themselves or whatever.

I will say the.

Documentary taught me a lot. Yeah, a lot. So as obviously a clinician, your first thing is people shouldn’t be doing this to their teeth. You know, it’s so bad. Like, you know, high risk of root canals, extractions. You’re so young, you’re 21. Although I’ve never, ever said people should not go to Turkey. Obviously, we’re minimally invasively trained, right? We just think you shouldn’t be destructing teeth. So our kind of mind as dentists is a bit shifted. But that documentary taught me so much. There are young girls who couldn’t even they don’t have the confidence to smile or even speak or brush their teeth or go out in public. Now, if these people are so low mentally and don’t have the confidence to do those things, and after they go to Turkey, they come back with a newfound confidence, it’s so worth it. They found a reason to live again that to make them the reason to smile again. Who is anyone, whether it’s a clinician or any person, to say you don’t owe that to yourself because everyone owes that to themself. So my biggest thing, and this is what I said in the documentary time and time again, I don’t have a problem with anyone going to Turkey. Just know what you’re getting yourself into. They know the pros, the cons, the risks and what the treatment they’re going to give you. Once you know that and you make that informed decision.

Absolutely.

So was that your experience that people had been it had been explained to them what was going to happen to them, the pros and cons or generally? No.

So generally no. Generally no. And that’s the problem. And that’s what we’re that’s what we that’s what we kind of mean by Turkey when we say and again, I got a lot of backlash for this against like the darker side of media. Right. Not everything can go swimmingly well. So I had a lot of clinics in Turkey saying, we want to speak to you, you know.

Because some of the top dentists in the world are from Turkey. Right. Let’s not forget.

That I have.

I said that’s the first one of the opening lines of the documentary. I said with some of the best clinicians in the world in Turkey and that was never, ever, ever not going to be the case. And that’s why I never even said in documentary, you shouldn’t go. I all I was saying was.

Know what you’re getting.

Yourself into yourself.

Getting yourself into when you’re having these full mouths of crowns as an 18 year old with a with a healthy, healthy mouth. But yes, some of the best clinicians in the world are in Turkey. And when you’re going to have these kind of like implants or composites or when, you know, minimally invasive ethical dentistry, great. But when it’s the kind of being sold as a holiday being sold as a week away will take you to the airport, we’ll drop you. Yeah.

So tell me, what are the packages?

So a typical one, what’s the cost? Typically, I guess the treatment is all crowns on the uppers. Is it upper and lower?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which one. And lower. Both. Really? Yeah.

And what’s the cost? How much are they charging for that.

It varies. It really does vary. So it could be from hundreds to thousands, obviously a lot cheaper than it is here. But obviously when you’re selling it so people let’s be honest, no one likes going to the dentist. Yeah, absolutely no one. So when they sell it as you’re only, you know, you’re going to have a holiday at the same time you only see the dentist twice for at the beginning when you have your treatment, when you land and right at the end when you leave, I have a brand new teeth. They make it just sell it as a dream. That’s the issue. It’s not a dream. You’re having a surgical procedure done to your body. You need to see the dentist more than twice. You need to be discussing all your treatment options, you know, gaining consent informed ethically so when those things don’t happen, that’s the problem. Um, but you know, it’s not just the young people that are going and that’s what, again, that really surprised me. We spoke to Lisa, who’s in her 40s or 50s. She went her and her mom went and just bless her. She’s had root canal since and she had no idea what she was getting herself into. Um, and she broke down in the documentary as well, and so did I. I got very emotional with her because she, she just thinks I’m going to have dentures now. And obviously she’s very conscious about her teeth. That’s why she went. And those. The cases where I’m like, I wish somebody would just explain what it is that you’re getting yourself into and if it’s the right thing for you. And so those are the problems, really.

And what’s happened when someone’s had problems, they what have they done? They’ve contacted that clinic and what’s happened.

Has happened.

Lisa, actually. So they won’t do anything about it. Nothing, Nothing, nothing. That’s what happened with one of the ladies we spoke to in the documentary. Some people do go back. So we spoke to Jack from Laval and Jack Fincham. Um, I don’t know if you watched. Do you watch Love Island?

No.

Okay, fine. Jack Fincham from Love Island. We spoke to him in the dock and he went back to Turkey to, I think, to fix it. Yeah. No, no. So I think he wanted a Whiter Shade when we spoke to him. Okay. So he was going back the next month, but again, he’s really happy with his teeth. So good for them. You know, if they know what they’ve got themselves into, the pros, the cons, the risks and they’re happy with that, then who are we? Who are we to judge?

Yeah, no, you’re right. If there’s consent, you know, informed consent.

That’s that.

Is the main thing. Informed consent. That was my biggest issue. Otherwise, go for it. Who are we? Who are we to judge?

No, I agree with you. I agree with you on that. Um, so you got into sort of the public eye with the pageant, sort of what do they call that contest? Sorry? Pageant pageantry. Yeah, tell me about that. Because there’s there’s a kind of a stigma attached to that.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely there is.

And you must have had some sort of backlash about that from what, Denters or whoever. Yeah, but but I also know that, you know, in those pageants, they a bunch of good stuff comes out of them. Right. Because people have a platform to push whatever agenda is important to them. And so talk to me around that. What was the first time you thought I’m going to go for Miss? What was it? Sorry.

So as Miss Universe, Great Britain. Yeah. So when growing up so I don’t know about how how it is really in other countries, but in India, pageantry is huge. Oh, is it? Yeah. You know Priyanka Chopra. Jonas. She was.

She came from pageantry. Yeah. Yeah.

Ashwarya Rai. People like Molly Mae came from pageantry. Um, loads of big names, I guess, that are in the current media came from pageantry, but people don’t really speak about it as much, like you say, because of the stigma attached. So growing up, I was I grew up watching pageants and it was like, wow, especially the Indian ones. Then I didn’t really think about it for many, many years. And I remember I was doing some research. I do a lot of charity work, and I found a charity in India called Stop Acid Attacks. Incredibly, just the most amazing, amazing charity. Um, but they affiliated with Miss Universe, Great Britain, I saw on the website and I was like, Oh my God, that’s that’s actually incredible. And I was in a bit of modelling at the time, just double dabbling during uni as like a hobby.

And how do you model.

As a hobby? How does that work?

It’s kind of like Indian bridal.

Model, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not awful. No. Gigi Hadid Let’s. Let’s get that straight. But, um, I just applied for it. I went for the interview, and like you said, the naivety, everyone was there just looking so polished. I went with my mum and my dad, like, sitting next to me. It’s just so encouraging. And then we all watched the presentation of what it was all about and the charity, and we all had just tears in our eyes when we found out about this stop acid attacks. And I was like, I just want to go for this because it meant that as well, that if I raise a certain amount, I could go to India to visit these these ladies who have been victims of acid attacks, which I did last year, just the most incredible week of my life. I can’t it was just it gives me goosebumps just thinking about honestly insane, but it gives you those types of opportunities too. So then I did apply for it, and that was actually during my last year of uni in 2020.

And what did what did your.

Parents, your friends say about it? Did anyone say, Hey, I don’t think that’s a good idea because it’s because of the stigma?

Absolutely. So were.

They supportive?

Parents were just unbelievably supportive. They always have been. They always just teach me, do what makes you happy in life as long as you’re not hurting other people. So that’s literally the motto I go by. I don’t really care what anyone thinks, and that’s just the way I’ve always been, even as a child. Um, so parents unbelievably supportive. I think with friends we had conversations about kind of it was tricky because no one wants to say anything directly to be like, isn’t that really, you know, you know, like, I know the stigma attached to it. You know, you can be fake or you could be fake. It’s very superficial. It’s about the way you look.

Yeah. So the stigma, I guess, is to do with sort of objectifying.

Objectifying women.

Women, women. It’s going to be women. But then I guess to counteract that, the pageantry itself is full of all this important, impressive stuff like charity work and and so forth. But somehow that side doesn’t come through, does it? People still still think of it as, I don’t know, a bikini contest or something.

Absolutely.

And in some of the. Hudgens The bikini contest doesn’t isn’t there. But what I will say is I think if we try and shy away and say it’s not a beauty contest, pageant girls are lying. It is a beauty contest. Yeah, okay, it is. And one thing that does not it doesn’t annoy me as such. But, you know, when you see these girls talk about, you know, how empowering pageantry is and you can look like anything and it is a beauty competition. Okay. And people say as well, the bikini rounds, it’s a way for women to kind of focus on their fitness and it makes them feel confident, which once you get on the stage in a bikini, you feel like you can do anything in life. But what I will say about pageantry in the UK is excellent because the girl that won, she was five foot. Five foot one. Five foot two. So she wasn’t the kind of five, 58595 10s six foot that we normally used to see back in the day. Um, just a normal girl. And it just makes you think that pageantry has come a long way. And we have definitely become a lot more inclusive. People who competed there were all sizes ranging from size six to size 1820. Oh, really? Absolutely. In the UK it gives you a platform. But again, like I say, it is a beauty contest. So although it has that inclusive element, it does have that. I understand when people where the perspective comes from, when people say it’s superficial because it is about, you know, it’s about how you talk. But we believe not the heaviest weighting in it is actually your interview because there’s an interview aspect. So that actually weighs for more than the other parts, which again, people don’t realise. And by doing that I had to fundraise. We don’t have to. But I did fundraise thousands for this charity in India.

Yeah, yeah.

And imagine just from doing this pageant, I’ve improved the lives of so many girls in India who are obviously less fortunate, and you just think, how can pageantry be that bad? How everyone says when actually we’ve improved, we’ve improved lives of other people, How is that ever bad? No one’s being hurt by doing it. So you have that aspect too?

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I’m interested in. Were you aware of the stigma when you went in or did you not care about the stigma or was it something you’d wanted so much since you were seven and you were just going to go for it? Was it the charity element that made you blind to the stigma? Because the stigma is there?

I think it was the charity element that made me blind the stigma. I never went into it thinking there was a stigma associated. And again, you can call me naive. No, not not at all.

Really.

Not at.

All. Because you were a fan? I was not even a fan.

I just grew up because that’s the norm, you know? And you think to yourself like.

So did it shock you then? Yeah. I can’t be the first person to say this, but when people started saying this.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. A bit surprised. I was.

Surprised. The thing is, it’s very strange, isn’t it? When you model, it’s, Wow, that’s so cool. Yeah. All of this, that and the other. But when you do it for a pageant, you know, there’s a good cause associated with it. There’s an uproar. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You’re absolutely right.

You know, and we talk about filters on social media. People use them to make themselves look better.

Look, I think. I think you should do whatever you want to do. Absolutely. And you seem like the kind of person who’s cool with that concept. But but I’m interested in I’m interested in the stigma. Actually.

There is.

A stigma. And one thing, again, I will say is, as a clinician, yeah, I would never after start talking to patients about pageantry, you know, and you talk to patients just about, you know, this, that and the other, because one thing I did realise so I had a conversation with a consultant actually, and I said to her, Oh, like I’m just so ask me what I’m doing this weekend. I said, Of course I’m catwalk training because we trained for obviously Miss Universe, Great Britain. She was like, for what? And I was like, Oh, I’m just doing a pageant. And she said that us women have worked so hard, especially in a career as a consultant, to like play a level, you know, have a level playing field with men and you’re going to do a pageant so that you’re intelligent. You came like within the top like 30, 40in the country for your post because I had a good post and she knew that she was like, Why are you doing this? So there is a stigma associated.

But you’re right, if you’d said, I’m doing catwalk training for modelling, but you know.

Also also la-di-da about it, I was like, Yeah, like, you know, just what are you doing? That kind of thing as if it was just the norm. But it’s interesting, isn’t it?

Yeah.

Tell me about the acid stories. Is it a massive issue? Is it does it happen a lot? And what happens?

So it happens more in the kind of the less more in the poverty areas, right? Yeah, in kind of main in Mumbai and in the areas where it’s quite affluent, it happens a lot less, but it is definitely still an issue. So, so many stories.

But what’s a typical one? Is it like some someone divorces someone or someone cheats on someone or so Do you.

Know what’s really interesting and why? I think it works? What with pageantry, because its beauty is often the driving factor. So there were some cases I have on my Instagram as well. I’ll send you the video later where I put a summary of some because when I went out there, they just let me film a little bit and of them sharing their stories. So sad. So one of the girls was 13. The man was 65.

Oh, my goodness.

And you just think like he was married. A lot of divorces happen. Mother in law’s sister in laws. Someone’s own dad did it on her.

Oh, Why? Oh, just.

What’s she done? Married a guy she didn’t.

Like or something.

But you what really got me? There was one story where when I told my dad, he literally had tears in his eyes because he’s a father of three girls and a husband did it. It’s disgusting. Poured acid on his wife because she was only conceiving girls.

Oh, my God.

And you just think. And the bait that she had newborn baby, the newborn baby died as well in the process. And you just said guy just makes me feel a bit heavy. You just think to yourself like.

The newborn baby died in the attack.

In the attack. God.

And when, when where do they get acid?

Find the markets.

It’s all black market. You can get acid there for cheaper than you get clean water.

Because it’s a.

Very particular kind of attack, isn’t it? It’s an attack to change the way someone looks forever. I mean, you can kill someone, you can, you know, hit someone, but there’s a very particular thing to do to someone.

It’s a crime you live with.

Yeah.

It’s almost like you will never forget that. And people will always see that. And I guess you get blinded and stuff as well.

Oh, absolutely. Blinded. Oh, man. Burns Obviously the burns victims like it’s.

And so what’s the work that they do in the charity? Is it education? Is it helping these people who’ve had the attacks?

Why is it.

So we raise money for them so they can live a better life. But I’ve kind of gone one step further. I’ve become an ambassador for them, which is not anything to do with the pageantry side of things. So what we do so I’ll tell you what they do. So why this charity is incredible. It’s called sheroes, which is a combination of the word she and Heroes put together. They’ve set up cafes across India, okay, in Lucknow, Noida, Agra, Delhi. So they have these cafes, which are like they’re run by acid attack survivors. So the food is made by them. It’s just incredible. And it gives them a place to work, a place to earn some money to build their livelihoods. And and what this charity also does, it kind of puts them on beauty, hair and beauty courses. So after they’ve, you know, a livelihood, it’s just incredible. And what is also really sad about this is, again, these girls are stigmatised. These attacks weren’t any fault of their own. But sometimes they’re kind of like, oh, she must be cursed. And there’s just ridiculous ways of thinking. And they’re kind of outcasted from society and their kids are. Then they have that same knock on effect. So the charity just really does support them in every way, whether it’s financially, emotionally, it builds that community to bring them all together. And when I went, they again, just absolutely amazing. They treated us so, so, so well. And they you know, they did dance performances for us and they’re just the most lively, jolly people you’ll ever meet. And they’re just an inspiration to all. So I don’t like calling them victims. They really are survivors because we could all take a leaf out of their books 100%.

And what’s the.

Sense? What’s the sense of the the scale of the problem? I mean, is it how many people do you know?

I can’t I don’t really know a number, but it’s declined over the years, which is good. We’re heading in the right direction. But it still happens. It still happens.

It still happens now happens. It’s such a tough thing. Let’s talk about teeth.

Yeah.

We are in enlightened smiles. Hq would be wrong not to with my black coffee it is.

The show is called Dental Leaders.

I’m a dentist.

So look, you qualified at the I mean, you went through Covid as a dental student, I guess, right? So you qualified 20.

20, 2020.

So you were one of those very unlucky ones who. Yeah.

Although although you say unlucky.

Yeah. Or lucky.

But my sister, my youngest sister, she’s in Leeds right now and she’s in fourth year going into fifth year. She’s just like Trishala. You’re so lucky you got to sit your finals from home. And I’m like, Oh, is that right? Because she’s going into fifth year. She’s facing the brunt of it a bit. But it’s just funny because you say lucky but not lucky.

But but so let’s let’s start with that. How much did you miss? So is your cohort. You know, they must be.

Yeah, I think.

Stunted a bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So I was quite lucky because obviously we have quotas at Kings, obviously Endocrines. I think every uni does. Yeah. I actually hit all of mine before that march. Oh wow. And all the denture. So I was quite lucky. That being said, being non-clinical from. March and then going into the foundation year job in September. I think the educational supervisors did did find that we were a lot more lacking than previous had to hold our hands a bit more.

Definitely.

I don’t I don’t know the terminology. Educational supervisor is that your boss.

Was just so out of it.

You’re just so enlightened.

Smiles No, because.

When I was a dentist, when I was dentist, they had different names.

Like a trainer.

The trainer. And then who’s the one above that?

That tp’d. So they take care of.

You know, even the one who takes care of the trainers district.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That region.

Okay, cool. So. So you’re saying the educational supervisors had a much bigger job to get people through? Absolutely. I bet they did.

I bet they did. It was.

Tough. It’s tough on us as well, you know, because the whole like I know people said the PPE, but it was hard because we had to wear all the PPE and the fallow times and. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were seeing a lot more people obviously, who had issues because of Covid. It wasn’t like leftover issues. Absolutely. You’re picking up the pieces as opposed to starting off fresh, you know? So it was definitely very, very challenging. But again, I’m not someone to kind of keep my hands still. So during Covid, again, I did a lot of fundraising. I sourced PPE from a warehouse. I went to collect it, I went to distributed to Care homes. So I did keep myself busy during Covid as well.

So we’ve always done charity.

I think it’s a huge part of me as a person first and foremost. I think, yeah, first and foremost.

When did that start?

When did that start?

I just think as a young, young girl, I was very emotional, honestly. So I stood. You lost my parents always. Y y y you went through a phase of like, is God real? And my parents are like, What? I was so young when I asked this and they were like, Why? I was like, Because God hurt so many people. How could God be real? You know? And like I always said, growing up, I was young, I was like six. And I was like, If I had one wish in the world, it’s everyone in the world has clean water. Because again, and that’s probably my number one wish now and everyone has three meals on the table. I’ll give everything I’ll take, take everything. I would I would happily do that. And so it was always something that was embedded within me that I always wanted to make the world a better place.

Yeah, but why?

It’s just something that I just thought that I’m so lucky in life.

Was it something.

Your parents did? Was it something in your community? Were you. Are you religious?

I’d say I’m spiritual. I’m a Hindu. I’d say. I’d say I’m religious. Do you believe in God? I do believe in God. I do. But younger. I used to when I was younger, I really used to. I couldn’t fathom that. How could there be a God? But there could be suffering, suffering in the world. I just couldn’t understand it. So what’s.

Your what’s your understanding of that.

Now?

My understanding of that now and I don’t have an answer. I don’t have an answer.

So some I mean, I’m not a massive expert on this subject, but some people say some religions say some belief systems say that let’s say let’s say a baby that that that poor baby that died in the acid attack. Yeah, that that that baby is going directly to heaven. Yeah. But you who saw that and didn’t then go ahead and help people and be nice to other babies for the sake of the argument it’s now incumbent on you because you saw what happened to that baby to be even better than you were before. And so that’s part of God’s great plan, too. I don’t buy it. But but, but but that’s what what some people say, for instance. So what’s yours know? You’re not sure?

I don’t know. And my parents used to tell me.

So why do you believe in God then?

I believe in God because there was also so much good in the world. Like, I don’t know what I’ve done in my life to be so blessed with everything I have. I don’t know my family. I just touchwood incredible. I know you said don’t move, but I believe in this touchwood thing.

That’s weird. Sorry.

I just have to, like, I’m healthy. I’ve been able to chase my dreams. I know. Obviously, the health can change any second I’m not. But I’m just saying, so far in my life, I’m speaking for most supportive parents. I’ve never been struggling whether it be financially. I’ve never had a struggle to find clean.

Water with God.

But I just feel like God has been so kind to me, so kind. And I just think that has to be and also greater being like I just think God has given me so much in my parents and in my family and in my sisters and in my life. I just think, wow, like there is a greater being there. And also God is like a synonym for the universe for me. So the universe has also given me this. But the part of life where I think, why is there suffering? I’ve read a lot around it, especially in Hinduism and reincarnation and karma and all of this.

And do you believe in karma?

Do I believe in karma?

I’ve asked this question a lot on this podcast.

Do you know what I do?

All right. So. So do I.

Yeah, I do.

But I believe in in a practical sense. Okay. Some people believe in it in a supernatural sense. So I believe, hey, if I’m nice to you one day when you want something and whatever, you’ll come back to me. And it makes sense to be a good person practically. Yeah. So people who do good things end up with good things because nice things happen that way. Other people think if I don’t know if I find this £5 note on the ground and I pick it up and I don’t give it to charity and I spend it, the thing I spend it on will come back and get me like in a supernatural karma way. So which one are you?

You know, is this so I can go to bed peacefully at night? I can’t categorise it. It’s just if I know that I’ve done something intentionally to say, upset somebody, I’ve done something where I’ve hurt somebody else or taken something from somebody else. I just can’t sleep peacefully. And that goes the same with, say, if something’s on my mind. And I really want to tell you something that you’ve done to upset me. I will tell you because again, I won’t sleep peacefully. I just want to sleep well at night. That’s it.

It’s interesting, You know, your your answers to most questions are simple. And simple is a funny thing. Yeah, because you can. You can be, you know, the simple can be a beautiful thing to say about something. Or it can be. It can be like you can say something simplistic. Yeah. Which doesn’t sound so great. Yeah, but with you, it’s kind of like simple. Yeah. Simple. Not uncomplicated. Which is. Which is really refreshing, right? It’s refreshing to hear. And it’d be interesting. I’d like to, to to, to see that your sisters and your parents and see like, is it something that was like the you get it sometimes in a household you know, is it a culture of the household or is it just like sometimes people go opposite to the way they were brought up? You know, like people go opposite to their parents, you know, so you can’t you can’t necessarily tell. But but looking at it and I’ve been obviously watching a lot of your content just leading up to to today.

Yeah, absolutely. It’s very.

Simple. Very nice. Simple. Yeah. Yeah. I say it’s a compliment. I definitely do. I definitely do. Let’s let’s get back to teeth. Okay. Not not much experience. First day PPE. You must have made some mistakes. We like talking about mistakes on this pod.

Well, I’ve made so many share them.

Yeah, because in dentistry, we don’t tend to share our mistakes. And there’s going to be many people listening to this who are one year behind you or 12 years in front of you. Yeah. Yeah. But share. Share a mistake that someone else can learn from.

Do you know what I. I think something what I used to do is just because I didn’t want to look stupid is not ask for help. Especially as a qualified clinician. At dental school, I had imposter syndrome majorly. And the fact that like I remember I was saying to you, like, I used to take six hours to finish a lecture and understand it and it would just, Oh, it’s so difficult. So I think asking for help is super important. Yeah, whether it’s with a root canal or my first endo molar, I was like, Where am I? When I drilled through the tooth, I was like, Is this the pulp chamber? I haven’t even gone through the roof of the pulp, those types of things. I was just so just oblivious to. But again, I was always so scared to ask for help because I just felt a bit. Because you.

Felt qualified.

And qualified, but.

You’re not qualified.

Yeah.

Yeah. And one thing I will say that has led into my clinical now is say no when you do not feel comfortable. Yeah, okay. I’m two years qualified. I did one year in obviously foundation year, second year. I did a restorative post and I was in the oral cancer unit, special care and sedation, all of that stuff. Okay. And then this is my year in practice. I’ve not done any cosmetic courses. So when people ask me for full mouth rehabs and they see me from television, they just, you know, it helps a little bit. Sure. But I say, no.

Of course.

I will not do.

It.

Yeah, yeah. And I think saying no is so powerful in life, not in just clinical dentistry, but just generally in life. You know, say no when you do not feel comfortable. That’s one thing I’d say.

You’re quite.

Right. You’re quite right. I mean, clinically you’re going to refer right, like knowing, knowing when to refer.

Knowing when to refer.

And it’s a funny one. Yeah. Because you don’t know what you don’t know at the beginning. Absolutely. And I’ve been in that situation back in the day where, you know, I had no idea what was what. Yeah.

Can I ask you, when you were younger.

Practising clinically, did you know you want to like wanted to have a business? No. Let alone in.

Whitening?

No, no, no. We were going to open a practice. Okay. And that may make something different, you know, like a whitening practice. And then we there was four of us who said, okay, four of them then. And then we were going to call four of them enlighten centres. And then we said, Go, let’s find the products, you know, for find the best teeth whitening product. And then when we were looking for the best teeth whitening product, one of them said, Oh, we don’t have distributors in Europe. So happened that way. Really? Yeah. Um, but you know, when you said to me, what did I want to be when I was young, when my school friends, my best friends, who’s still my best friends now, many of them that had like multinational conglomerate companies. Yeah. So a lot of the conversations with my best even today, my best friends today are about factories, distribution, design, you know, marketing, HR. I mean, these guys have got proper gigantic businesses. I did 3000 employees, you know, 40 employees, 3000 employees. You know, factories all over the world and all that. It must have had some sort of impact on me in that sense of, hey, let’s do a company. And Sanj, my partner who we started the company with, we used to live together in university and we used to joke. We used to joke about this giant business we’re going to open, but we thought it would be like dental practices or something, you know? So, yeah, I guess everything comes from somewhere, doesn’t it? It’s a it’s a funny thing.

Do you believe in fate?

Not really.

Not really.

Because a lot of people would say that you and Sanj were living together at uni. You used to joke around and then miraculously, you’ve got a successful business together.

Yeah, it’s interesting.

Not really. Do you believe in fate? I mean, have you ever have you heard about this company that arranges coincidences?

You give me their number if you have it.

Do you know what I mean? So, you know, like. Like it’s an idea of like, if. Let’s say I want to get this girl. Yeah. They’ll arrange two coincidences to happen so that the girl thinks that it was fate. Like. Like I’ll be sitting next to the girl in the ballet, and then I’ll be sitting next to the girl on a flight. It’s awful, isn’t it?

Social media, Isn’t it social media?

Just such an awful idea.

My God. It’s a documentary of this. Cut this bit out. Don’t anyone’s stealing this idea. That’s incredible. What are your.

Plans going forward?

So again, like, very simple to be happy. Sure. And I need to figure out what is making me the happiest. And I have a few things that I’m working on.

Obviously, I can’t disclose media stuff, media.

Stuff which I can’t disclose, which is very exciting. But one thing, television takes time. Yeah, yeah. Television takes a lot of time. Obviously, you can imagine how much red tape and just like hoops you have to jump through.

And sometimes, I mean, when we’ve done PR back in the day, I remember they’ll say this afternoon, Can you come and do something?

Oh, that happens so much.

Yeah.

Is your boss understanding? Yeah.

Yeah.

So my boss is going to watch this. And I took the day off actually today because I was like, I’ve got this that let me work Monday.

It’s been a nightmare to get you here.

I know. I’m so sorry.

You’re so busy.

Because I know this is the thing. Yeah.

So we’ve come to some sort of arrangement of, you know, maybe cutting down. I’m cutting down my times and my hours to make sure that at least I get my evenings free, because that’s when a lot of events do happen. And but yeah, they’re quite understanding. And sometimes I’ve had to say no to things. I won’t lie about that. And that’s also been a bit difficult as well because but then you have to prioritise. And I have taken the job as a clinical dentist and when I’m a clinical dentist, my patients do come first. Regardless of what’s going on in my personal.

Life, you must.

Have had people wanting you to be their dentist because of your media side. There must be a massive element of imposter syndrome there because you’re so junior as a dentist.

This is the.

Thing. What do you do? Do you when they, you know, see you on TV thinks she must be brilliant. She’s on TV. I want my teeth done by you. Yeah. Do you explain that? You know, I’m just two years out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or do you not?

What do you do? So what.

Happened? A lot. And now I just prefer to practice and say if there’s another dentist who’s qualified to doing or, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah. Um, but last year when I was in hospital as like a DCT as a dental corps trainee, obviously you’re five days a week there. Like I said, cancer departments, you know, hypodontia, sedation, those types of things like endo. It was nothing like what people were asking me to do. Yeah. So that’s when you get bit scared because I was like, Actually, you want to have a full mouth of veneers and I can’t do that. That’s what I do. I just refer them in the right direction. Well, I personally am not carrying out treatment. I’m not actually clinically practising in practice right now, but here you can take a look at X, Y, Z.

But from from the tactical perspective, isn’t it? Well, if I was advising you, I advise quite a lot of young dentists, right? If I was advising you tactically and I and I get you want to be in media. Yeah, but you’re going to get loads of patients.

I know.

My sister said the same.

She was like, you might.

As well get really good at one aspect of if you’re going to talk about cosmetic dentistry, then get good at cosmetic dentistry. If you want to talk about something else, get, get, get good at that, you might as well because, you know, it’s a dream come true from the perspective of patients. Yeah, let’s let’s put to one side the perspective of being on TV and being an influencer and being famous and all of that stuff. Right? Put that to one side. The other side of it is Milad. The singing dentist.

Gets.

Hundreds of patients saying, I want you to be my dentist. Yeah. And with him, you know, he’s a 20, 20 year veteran, right? He can handle most situations. And I’m sure he’s doing very well out of something like that. Yeah. Or Rona. Yeah. Who? You know, I’ve done plots with her. She gets loads of patients from her media and, you know, she’s a full on cosmetic dentist and has a cosmetic centre and all that and has a massive business because of it. Yeah. So it would be amiss. You’d be missing out, you’d be missing a trick if you didn’t, you know, convert the exposure.

To a to a business.

To a business you would be missing a trick.

Yeah.

Tactically, it’s something I’ve thought about, especially having siblings who are dentists.

And it works.

That’s an interesting point.

Yeah. Like push them to your siblings. Yeah.

So we have thought about it, but I need to figure out my next steps. I know it’s like I’m 27. I’m just trying to figure it out right now. And but I do I hear what you’re saying because I’ve thought about it a lot. I’ve had a lot of conversations about it too. Um, maybe something in the future. And I do, I do think is I do want to get better clinically, too.

Yeah.

You’re nowhere so far. Yeah. It’s so early.

It’s so early.

So it’s like, you know, when you say focus on one thing, I think that’s an excellent idea. An excellent piece of advice taken.

Yeah.

You know, also, media is a very fickle thing, right? Yeah. It’s one minute right now you’re. You’re on fire four years down the line. Who knows? Like what? What will be what?

Absolutely.

You know, the platform shifts I or whatever it is.

Yeah.

Who knows what would be in four years time. But you know, you could have a long lasting business. I mean, you know, they say this thing about you start a squat practice and I’ve had someone on here he said because of one patient that they treated really well. His whole business is based on this one patient because this was a Qatari patient from the embassy and now the embassy just sends them loads and loads of patients so that one patient can do that.

That’s amazing.

Then now let’s imagine 300 come from some media appearance that you do that could set you guys up with a practice or with whatever it is. It would be a shame. It would be a shame if something like that didn’t come out of it. But I think it’s a very interesting problem that I’m sure people come to you thinking you’re the super duper dentist just because you’re on TV. And then you’ve got to explain to them that I’m just new.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it happens a lot. And I think.

When we filmed the documentary, I was 26, so I was very, very fresh. Very fresh. Um, and that’s when the imposter syndrome kicks in.

Like you said.

Because you’re just like, Actually, I can’t do a full mouth rehab. I’m sorry. But then it’s. Then you just feel like, am I actually credible, a credible clinician. I like. The way I also see it is I’m a good GDP. I’m like, I do everything in the best interest of patients.

Not many not many people can do full mouth rehabs to a high standard anyway. Yeah, don’t worry. I mean, even if in the next five years you can’t do one, that’s cool. Yeah. Yeah. That’s. That’s a advanced level of dentistry. Absolutely. I’m talking Invisalign bleach bond, you know. Yeah. Which is still hard work. It’s not easy. It’s not easy to do that. Well, yeah, but. But do that well and or veneers or whatever it is, you know, that sort of minimally invasive cosmetic dentistry. You’re right. Start with bleaching.

Well do that. Well, enlightened smiles.

Tell me.

What would be your.

Dream scenario going forward? It must be something like media, right? It must be.

I think my dream scenario would be to continue how it is currently. That’s what I think. What’s really important for me is to make sure I’m happy right now and I’m really happy right now with where I’m at.

And one thing.

There’s happiness and acceleration.

There’s acceleration, you’re accelerating.

So anytime you’re accelerating, it’s a happy feeling. It’s a.

Happy period. Now, what I don’t and this is again, what I want to I had a conversation with my sister last week, so I’m stuttering on this because I said she said to me. So I basically did a run. I was just doing a ten K Park run. Um, but I was like, No, no, no, I want to do a 15. So I ended up doing a 15. It was actually a Saturday ago, so it was 30 degrees. And then I was like, and that night I signed up for a half marathon, which I’m doing in September. Bearing in mind last year I could barely run A5K, But anyway.

That’s.

She said to me, You feel the need to keep. She was like, It’s excellent. But she’s like, One thing I’ve noticed is you’ve done this as a child. If you’re not accomplishing, you don’t feel satisfied or content in life. And she’s so right.

Do you think you trying to prove someone wrong or prove.

Something to yourself? What am I what am.

I trying to prove? So I’m really and it’s a daily task now. I just am really trying just to be content and say God’s given you so much more than he’s given to most of most of the population in the world. So I really just want to make sure that I am happy in my professional life, my personal life being the biggest one. Because what I’ll tell you as well is last year when when everything was going on, I probably wasn’t the best daughter. I probably wasn’t the best sister, I probably wasn’t the most present friend, all of those aspects of my life.

Right. But I.

Was lacking. And when you think about it, at the end of the day.

What matters?

I mean, I hear you. Yeah, but last year we were launching the latest version of Enlighten, and I wasn’t the best of any of those things either. I wasn’t the best husband, not the best dad. I was. I was busy. I was busy because we were, you know, all the different aspects of it. And, you know, you owe it to yourself to when when the when the iron’s hot to strike as well. But let’s let’s get on to the personal thing. You must have loads of men saying, hey, you know, tell me about that.

Yeah, I mean.

Yeah, but do you know what I did.

You get do you get.

Recognised?

Sometimes I do. Sometimes. How does that feel? I wouldn’t say. Like I say, I’m.

No, no, no. But sometimes.

Harry Styles.

But I imagine it’s a bit weird. Like a bit.

Dangerous.

It’s a bit strange. And it’s, it’s lovely because most people have or everyone’s been pretty lovely, but I think.

There’s an element of.

Risk in it, isn’t it?

There’s a huge element of risk and there’s a huge element of stigma.

Yeah.

That because you do television, you’re into media and you live a completely different life. And yeah, people.

People think they know about you.

Before. Yeah.

Even I thought I knew you before. We just. Seriously? Yeah.

Yeah. I watched a lot.

Of content the last 4 or 5 days.

Oh, you know me now.

But it’s true. There’s a stigma attached. And I think especially when it comes to, obviously, the opposite sex. Yeah. They think they know you.

Yeah.

And they just don’t. And I think it makes again, people see the pageantry thing. Yeah. She must be fickle. She must be, you know, superficial.

Yeah.

But then I also think if somebody like that does approach me and wants to be in my life, then you don’t deserve to be in my life because we don’t share the same values. Because I would never the one thing I’ve never also done is look at somebody on TV and think, Wow, like you must have such a perfect life. I think there’s good and bad in every profession. There’s good and bad in dentistry. I think everyone talks about the bad, but there’s also good. We’re very well paid for what we do, of course. I mean, and that’s just and again, when people try and shy away from that, they shouldn’t. Okay. So dentistry also has their good and their bad. It’s very rewarding. Job media has the good and it has the bad. And with everything that’s going on right now in the media, you can see that right from people on television. So there’s a balance with everything. That’s how I see it as well. So but like you say, it’s very strange. It’s nice, though. It’s nice when people do recognise you for doing something.

Good, of course.

When was the last time you were recognised? Was it like in Sainsbury’s or whatever?

Like it’s actually it was a patient that was and that was the worst part. And do you know what? Obviously I got a bit of makeup on on TV. I do my hair a little bit, but then in practice, oh my God, I literally like Hagrid. And they were like, well, sorry. I think they were watching this morning and they saw me on there and it was just last week. And you just think to yourself, Oh dear, oh dear. I’m like, I’m so sorry that I look like this in.

Front of you right now.

But yeah, it happens a lot.

But I mean, I don’t know. I kind of like anonymity, right? Going where I want, when I want. No one knows that. The same reason why. Like you’re right. Everything has. Let’s say I drove a purple Lamborghini here. Every time I leave my house, all my neighbours would know I’m leaving my house. Yeah, I know, Driver But.

It’s good to say I.

Didn’t see you on parked.

But what I.

Say, what I’m saying is there’s that element of, you know, worry around being recognised. Do you like, you know that that’s there there, does it weigh on you or is it.

I think it does in certain settings. So. Yeah, it does in certain settings. And I think for me the safety aspect is the most important. I think and one thing I’ve done on my Instagram, I’ve deleted anything that was involving my like my family or like my extended my family. Okay? My sisters, my mom, my dad, they don’t mind it. But once I tell you what happened, the India Times posted an article about me, which I didn’t know about. Um, and one of my friends who’s really, really private, they took a picture of her and me from my Instagram, and she was, she was not happy about that. And I just I was so apologetic because obviously when back in the day you’re at university, you’re posting pictures together, it’s all fine. But to have that picture.

In front of.

Millions of people to see when it wasn’t even no one, I didn’t even know that article was a.

Thing.

People think that that if you’re in the press, you’ve somehow sanctioned everything that’s in the press. And what I’ve noticed about any time that we’ve we’ve done something with the press and it hasn’t been me, I’ve always tried not to be part of it. But anytime we’ve done anything with the press, anytime, it’s a subject that you know something about, they basically get everything wrong, you know, So there’s very little checking up of like fact checking. And the quotes are all wrong. Everything’s wrong. And then and then they’ll use a picture and then and then let’s say I’ve had this where one of my ex bosses, he had a piece in the Daily Mail or something and the GDC got on to him and said, Why did you say X, Y and Z? And why did you allow the article to go out? And he went back and said, Do you really think they run the article past me before they put it out?

Some don’t.

But most don’t, right? Like, you know, newspaper, National newspaper. Yeah. They don’t say, Hey, are you happy with this? Before they put it out, they put out whatever the hell they want, Right? So I bet your friend was your friend understanding what happened.

I just. I just was so apologetic because it was an invasion of my friend’s privacy. Because of.

Me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you just think. And the worst. Do you know what It’s not? Thank you. It wasn’t sweet. It was a nice article about the charity work, so it was very nice. But then they just take, like, pictures. And we were. I think we were on a holiday somewhere. It’s like a girls holiday, like we were, you know, it was just it was just just bizarre. And she was understanding. She still one of my best friends. And she when she listens to, you know, who she is. But in those situations, you have to be so careful. And what I also I was very naive at the beginning when I was doing the research stages. You know, I was telling you, I do a lot of my own research before because, like I say, journalists, any any journalists can do the job. Otherwise it’s why me, I have to bring something that’s different. So when I used to do that and message people from accounts which were my personal ones, very stupid, very naive. So you grow, though, right?

A couple of.

Other things I kind of want to get from you. One is what are the other charities that other pageant people, because your sounds so amazing. Does each person have their own charity or does everyone focus on this?

So this is this is why it’s incredible. This is their main one that you get to go on this trip to India if you fundraise a certain amount. But they do have charities that are people do focus on. And obviously, if people are closer to some charities and some like eating disorders or cancer. So there are those things too. So you can really pick and choose. It’s impactful. Yeah, Pageant is pageantry is impactful. But again, we’re also dislike about it is when people have surpassed a certain level of say, fame. So people like I obviously I love Priyanka Chopra Jonas she’s put representation for Asians, especially Asian women on the map big time. I think she’s great. But you don’t see them sometimes speaking about pageantry in that also positive and empowering way. I understand everyone has their personal experiences, but like you say, with the stigma, people don’t want to say, Oh, I came. I originally came from pageants. It’s everything else they’re doing now, whether it’s Unicef or the bigger things. But no one wants to go back to how they actually got to that position in the first place. You know, So that’s my thing with people going through pageants. Be proud, be proud of the choices you’ve made. You know, and sometimes if you’re not proud of the choices you’ve made, say, look, if I could go back, maybe I would have done that a bit differently, but embrace it. Embrace yourself. We live one life, and this is where I go on to like these blue ticks on Instagram. Right? You know how you can buy blue ticks now? Yeah. So I got mine, I think shortly after. Obviously this was before you could buy them. This was the organic way, I think shortly after I came on television.

Were you pissed.

Off when everyone else could just buy them?

Do you know what? No, Believe it or not.

And even when I had the blue tick, it was what I didn’t like. I think people started speaking and treating me differently.

Really.

I noticed these small differences, especially when go to bigger family events, people are like, Oh, so like we saw you got the blue tick on Instagram and it’s like, That doesn’t change my value as a person. I’m still the same person. I’m still.

Were they not looking up to it?

No, but they were just.

More jealous of it.

Somehow, I don’t.

Know. Inquiring. About it, you know. But my problem now with this whole blue tick situation is not that people can buy it. I think if somebody has worked so hard to build a business, say, for instance, I say if you I don’t know if you guys have a blue tick, but say if you did or didn’t did or didn’t, no idea.

No, no. I think we.

Can buy one right now.

You can buy one now.

But for example, a brand you’ve worked so hard to build your brand. And if you want to protect your brand or make let people aware that, look, we are the enlightened smiles.

That’s what it is. Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. But if people are also buying blue ticks, they influencers to make themselves a bit more credible, they know it will give them a bit more business, a bit more PR then if you want to do that, go for it. But the problem occurs when people are not disclosing when they are asked or won’t openly speak about the fact that they have bought it.

Who cares who.

A who cares? And b.

But why do.

You care if they.

Don’t disclose it? Because it’s not.

A problem, but it’s more a self. I think it’s a it’s a form of self deprecation. Because if you when somebody is just about honesty, honesty on the Internet, if anyone asks me anything, I’ll be completely honest. I think if in certain situations.

I know, I know.

What you’re saying. If someone if someone says I’m so like makes out that they didn’t pay for it.

Yeah, yeah.

Like they’ve woken up and I’ve seen this so much on Instagram, whether it be Dental. I’m really.

Happy. I’m really.

Happy. Thank you so much. We’ve finally been recognised for my work and you think to yourself, why lie? You don’t need to lie. You don’t need to make that up. Having a blue tick does not associate yourself with being as of value as it doesn’t make you a more a better person. It doesn’t make you a more uplifted person.

It doesn’t. But the.

Thing is, a lot of these platforms are pure marketing platforms.

Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

By the way, that’s how I see them. Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. So. So absolutely.

So if, if you’re, if you’re making your money from brand deals. Yeah. And to be honest with you, like how, how, how, how deeply do brands look into some of these influencers when you, when you look at I was talking to an influencer agency and she was telling me, yeah, one brand came in and just took 10,000 influencers. Micro influencers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They’re looking into it properly. So. So that person might have made a smart business move to make it look like.

They’re an influencer.

They. They got the blue tick.

Absolutely. And you.

Should. Do you. Yeah, absolutely. But what I’m saying when I say there’s a little issue with it, I say if my younger sister. Yeah right. So if she bought a blue tick she hasn’t. But say if she did I’ll say rushali. Why have you bought a blue tick. What does that make you feel like? My problem is with these younger generation of girls, especially like, obviously I know with men this happens as well. But with the girls, you don’t need to have a blue tick to make yourself feel more validated. I think it’s a form of self validation and that’s where my issue comes.

But you do because.

That’s what it is, isn’t it? I’m like, She’s the real rushali.

She is the real Rushali There’s only one rushali in this world. But she is. But the point is, it’s a validation in themselves to feel like. Do you feel a bit more valued as a person? Is it do you feel someone of status as a person? And I don’t want these young girls thinking they need a blue tick because they need to look a certain way or I think that falls in the same category that you don’t need to conform to societal pressures or like I say, look a certain way or fit a certain bill. And that’s the same category as having a blue tick. You don’t need that blue tick to make you feel better as a person. You are perfect the way you are and who you are. That’s the problem. So I think when people are blind buying blue ticks and lying about it, I think it’s a form of a really low self esteem and they need to look for within as why, you know.

Yeah, no, I understand. Of course I understand.

I’m playing devil’s advocate, of course, what this podcast is about.

Let’s, let’s, let’s we’re running out of time. What about the final, final question, perhaps the final question that he likes to ask. Yeah, it’s a bit weird with the 27 year old deathbed, your nearest and dearest around you, three pieces of advice you would leave them.

I think one thing is saying the value that I brought up is do whatever makes you happy in life as long as you’re not hurting anyone. Because so far, obviously I’m very young. Like I’m 27. I don’t have as much life experience. I’m not going to pretend like I do either, but it served me well. Um, that’s one thing. Be blowing out someone else’s candle will not make yours shine any brighter. Don’t go through life bitter. Don’t go through life. Resent resenting other people’s successes and happiness because that won’t make you happy. It’s like focus on your own happiness and focus on yourself thriving. Um, and see, I’ve said this before, but don’t be afraid to say no. And a lot of people say never say no as their final thing. But also don’t be afraid to say no. I think in this, especially in our generation, we’re also with social media. We’re also pressured into always wanting to kind of go to this cool place or doing something and pushing ourselves to going like doing things that we think were supposed to be doing to make. Ourselves online look like we’re living our best life. You don’t have to do that. If something doesn’t make you happy, say no. I think this is quite a generational thing as well, and I see that a lot within my generation. We feel like we say yes to everything and we need to be going 100mph because of social media. And I think I’ve seen a lot of people, especially in the media, who will do this. But you just need to say no. If it’s not serving you, not making you happy, say no.

I think that.

Comes from a place of success, though. You know, I hear you. And you’re right. And many times I’ve thought years down the line, why didn’t I just say no to this thing right at the beginning? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn’t feel right. I hear where you’re coming from at the same time at the beginning, saying yes really does work. And you said yes to a lot of stuff.

I did say yes to it.

But it’s interesting that you’ve learned that lesson early because so much has come for you so quickly.

Yes, I think. Do you know what it is with the saying no thing? Sometimes I think I feel pressured to do certain things to please other people. That’s where no, when it comes to opportunities and that’s going to make you grow, always say yes because you don’t know if one person is listening to you or 10 or 100 or a thousand in opportunities. Life. I think that way, yes. But I say when I say say no, it’s to more those other things. When you feel pressured to do something that you do not want to do, but you just do it anyway. And I think we’re a generation of that. And the same with social media. I think we’re all pushed. I don’t know how many 27 year olds you follow. Everyone looks the same going on the same holidays. It’s all the same, same, same, same. I think that comes from a pressure from social media. I think social media is driving the way our generation live their lives. And I think it’s true.

I mean, I was on my team and if you look at their social, they look like these amazing worldwide travellers, wonderful lives and they’re quite Well, yeah, you do. Um, so yeah, it’s been a massive pleasure. It’s been really refreshing.

It’s been lovely speaking to you.

You’re very authentic. Very authentic. Like, like you said, you know, you form a preconception of someone and then when you sit with someone, you know, it’s been. It’s been really lovely.

Oh, no, it’s been lovely chatting to you.

Thanks for having me.

Thanks for doing this.

This is Dental Leaders, the podcast where you get to go one on one with emerging leaders in dentistry. Your hosts. Payman, Langroudi and Prav. Solanki.

Thanks for listening, guys. Hope you enjoyed today’s episode. Make sure you tune in for future episodes. Hit subscribe in iTunes or Google Play or whatever platform it is. And you know, we really, really appreciate it. If you would give us a.

Six star rating.

Six star rating. That’s what always leave my Uber driver.

Thanks a lot, guys. Bye.

Ash Soneji is among a surprising number of dentists interested in stage magic. 

In this week’s episode, he tells how his hobby has found its way into his highly regarded teaching and lecturing on non-invasive dentistry. 

Ash also discusses his journey from early practice to education, the rigours (and joys) of new family life, and his commitment to the principles of non-invasive treatment.

Enjoy!    

 

In This Episode

01.36 – Meeting Ash

02.45 – Back story

03.35 – Discovering and studying dentistry

11.47 – First job
15.39 – Minimally invasive dentistry

21.05 – Pathways into practice

38.40 – Family life

40.56 – Teaching

50.07 – Magic

58.14 – Black box thinking

01.07.07 – Plans

01.11.31 – The next generation

01.13.14 – Regrets

01.14.51 – Fantasy podcast guests

01.23.32 – Last days and legacy

 

About Ash Soneji

Ash Soneji is a passionate proponent and teacher of minimally-invasive dentistry.

He graduated with honours and served as a Senior House Officer in Restorative and Oral Surgery at Guys’ Hospital in London Bridge. 

He gained the MJDF diploma from the Royal College and holds certificates in Cosmetic and Advanced Restorative Dentistry and Implant Dentistry. 

Ash was awarded the Aesthetic Dentistry Award in the Tooth Whitening category and recognised as the Best Young Dentist South West in 2018.

Yeah, I think if you’re going analogue, you know, and you’re taking implant impressions. Absolutely. There’s still still the gold standard. You know, I think it’s so dimensionally stable and even even when you’re getting those really deep margins that you know, and you’re finding it really difficult to isolate that. I mean, everyone talks about using gold standard kind of haemostatic agents and retraction cord and packing like in the heat of the moment and when, you know, you might be busy on the day and something might not quite go your way. Yeah. You know, you just need a reliable material that’s that’s going to capture those margins. And, you know, I do still use it. I mean, but a lot of my practice is now now scanning. Yeah, you’ve got the scanner in Queen’s Square and I have the Itero in BUPA, so that’s definitely the way forward.

This is Dental Leaders the podcast where you get to go one on one with emerging leaders in dentistry. Your hosts, Payman, Langroudi and Prav Solanki.

It gives me great pleasure to welcome Ash Sonejee onto the podcast. Ash is one of the crop of up and coming young dentists. You’re still a young dentist to me, but at ten years, ten years qualified or whatever you are, that to me, that’s a young dentist who has got himself properly into minimally invasive cosmetic dentistry and some implant dentistry and now finally teaching as well. Massive pleasure to have you, Ash.

Pleasure to be here. Thanks for having me.

But remind me, I feel like I’ve known you for years. When did we first meet?

It feels like that we seem to bump into each other pretty much everywhere. But I think think going back must have been around 2013, 2014, and that’s when I was starting to hear about Enlighten a lot more. And I think it was at that time that we were discussing a lot about whitening. And you mentioned that you were setting up a course involving a lot more kind of resin based stuff, and I think that’s where.

Oh, did you come to Mini Spa Maker?

Was that the first time? I think it was the first one. The first Mini Smile makeover. So.

Really?

Really. Yeah, that was going way back now. But yeah, it was great. It was great fun. And almost the first sort of opportunity that I had to network with a lot of a lot of these up and coming guys and it was pretty inspirational at the time. So yeah, it was.

And you didn’t you win some award with an enlightened case, I remember.

Yeah. Yeah, that was so that was, um, I remember it well because it was aesthetic dentistry awards. So was it entering, entering a few, few times with, um, kind of single tooth ceramic and, and a little bit of composite stuff and yeah, it was, it was a tetracycline case, and that felt good. That’s right.

That’s right. So tell me, where did you grow up, man?

So a little bit of the backstory is I was actually born born in London, born in north west Northwick Park Hospital, and, um, spent a little bit of my early life there and then happened to relocate in Bristol. So my, my dad’s a mechanical engineer and he was working for Rolls-Royce. He, you know, he recently retired, but we had this opportunity to either kind of relocate to Derby or relocate to Bristol. And I’m glad he chose Bristol. That’s where where, where I’ve settled and spent a lot of my life, life in the Southwest. So from about two, three years old have been in the Southwest since and had various kind of job opportunities and roles, mainly in the south of England. Yeah.

And do you remember the first time you thought, I’m going to be a dentist? Do you remember that time?

Yeah. Yeah. It’s a funny, funny story, actually. So I remember kind of year ten is when you have to do those work experience placements. And I was thinking of various things to do. I did actually do work experience with with my dad. I think he, he was saying, you know, I think engineering would be a good thing to do. So I started off with that and I’d I remember going in and I thought expected to see like loads of planes, loads of like testing and loads of cool stuff. But it wasn’t quite like that. There was a lot of kind of heavy mathematics and all that sort of stuff. And I thought, you know, this is more like an office based job. I kind of want something where I can get my hands dirty and get involved. I enjoyed kind of communicating the company of people, and I was pretty good at science subjects. So I thought to myself, let’s, um, let’s let’s try something else out. And one of my cousins, he was working in Central London private practice in Pall Mall and just sort of called him up on a whim. And I just said, listen, listen. Do you do you think there’s a chance that you could sort of have some work experience for me? I was like, yeah, absolutely, man. Come come down and see what’s about, see, see if you like it. And it all it all started from there.

But do you remember, Dude, I remember going to work experience when I did it and I remember not sort of seeing, not understanding what the hell was going on. And I went with an orthodontist and he was he was a good family friend. And I knew he was like, doing very well. I knew that. Yeah. And I could see he was sort of his own boss. But what was actually happening, I had no idea what was happening. And I remember being a little bit disillusioned with work experience thinking, Is that it, man? You’re just sitting in that chair all day. Oh, did you did you get something else out of it? Did you like really did it inspire you?

So So the day that I went there, um, I kind of got a feel for it. He started the day off and he was basically like, Look, this is what we’re going to do. We’ve got about kind of ten patients. We’ve got a couple of check-ups, a couple of extractions, you know. He gave me the whole spiel and he was basically like, You don’t really want to watch any of this. Like, I don’t think you’re going to take much of it. So he was like, If you want to, you can just explore Central London. So he literally was a 14 year old kid at the time, and he was basically like, look, why don’t you just explore a bit of central London, see, see what it’s about? And I had the complete freedom and was like, Whoa, this is crazy. So I actually think that was one of the best things they could have done because, you know, I got excited by that. I got excited about like being able to see the big city. It gave me that buzz and then actually said to him, Do you know what? I’ve seen plenty of London now. Like, can we quite actually fancy sitting in and seeing what you’re doing? And I think I just got really excited about the whole experience because there was loads of cool stuff going on. So I spent the first half of my work experience in Trocadero’s at the arcade, and then the second half of it I actually got quite interested in the dentistry and then I actually started watching and seeing what he was up to. And I think that that from then on, that kind of in, you know, in a way indirectly inspired me. Like, you know, first experience of the big the big city.

What were you like as a kid? Were you like a studious kid or not?

I think in in the early years, you know, I was intelligent, but I didn’t think I could apply myself as well as I can towards the latter years. I think that that was almost a turning point. Like around sort of year ten. I thought to myself, Look, if I want to, you know, once you do the research and you look at the kind of applications or this sort of stuff, like, you know, I’m like, dentistry is seriously hard to get into. And at that point, that was a turning point. I thought, you know, if I if I really want to do this, I’ve got to really knuckle down. And I think that’s when I started to become a lot more studious. But I wouldn’t say I’m like naturally, naturally gifted in picking up a lot of these things. You know, I think I have to work hard. But when I did apply myself, I managed managed to get the grades and and then, you know, the rest is history.

And then you studied in the best dental school in the country. In Cardiff.

I think we’re both biased there, aren’t we? And I know you’re also fellow Welsh graduate as well. And yeah, it was, it was great. Like I think that as far as a combination of juggling a good social life as well as a good kind of getting a good kind of clinical basis and a bit of academia, it’s a great balance between all of them.

I love Cardiff, absolutely love that town. And I’m sure people like wherever they study, like someone studies in Liverpool probably loves Liverpool too, right? But I love Cardiff. I love the people. And the size of town was perfect for me. Just. Just. Just the right size, right? Yeah. Do you go back? You must do. You’re nearby, right?

Yeah. I’m not too far. And, um, few few of my friends, I think half of the cohort of that year were from Wales. Yeah. So you know, really close friend of mine has settled in in Penarth so recently he had his, had his, his third kid. So we had a chance to go and go and see him. So only about 2 or 3 weeks ago we’d ventured across the bridge. So yeah. Still, still go back when, when can to see the people that matter.

And then what kind of dental student were you? Were you near the top? Near the middle. Near the bottom. Like me.

I would say the first. So I think when you first start to you get into dental school, you’ve almost got this euphoria and like you feel like you’re on top of the world. You feel like, you know, you’re you’ve done so well to get to that point. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you mean Cardiff? They hit you pretty hard early on. Like there’s a lot of exams and a lot of kind of essays and they had these kind of almost like four serious exams in the year, and the first one actually failed. So I think it was a real awakening for me. I can’t really, you know, not not work so hard. I think like I’m one of those ones that I have to really apply myself to to actually get to get the results. So I think after that, it was just a case of, you know, trying to juggle freshers and trying to, you know, get through the first year. That was that was the main thing. And then once I got through that bit and we started to get into a lot of the clinical side, that’s when I really saw myself excel.

It’s a funny thing, isn’t it? Because, you know, it’s going to be a difficult course. You know, everyone tells you it’s going to be a difficult course, but I was shocked at what a hard course it was that the first year of dental school, I mean, proper, difficult, harder than A-levels for me. Yeah. Because I didn’t do Biology A-level. So it was even harder. I felt it was even harder for me, but shockingly hard. I thought the first year, shockingly hard. And you suddenly, quickly grow up right in One part of you wants to go berserk and party and, you know, do all the things that first year students do. And there’s another side where you realise, Oh, this is proper, serious stuff, right? So did you did you pass everything first time or. No. That was just that one little.

I think once once had that blip right at the beginning, I just said to myself, Look, if I’m going to get through, I need to make sure that I’m I’m passing stuff. I hate that feeling of of failure. Like the first the first set of exams that we had. And I think what was tricky as well is you’re completely right. A lot of your colleagues, a lot of your your, your mates that are in contemporaries. Yeah, they’re often, um, sometimes, you know, they have five hours of lectures a week and you’ll be there doing like up to 30 hours. So and at the same time you’d still be trying to join in and party with those guys. So after that, I really got my head down and made sure I planned for this and and knuckled down. So since then, I didn’t I didn’t feel to fail too many exams I got close to and a couple of the Vivas in in final year. But um after after that I really knuckled down and just made sure I got through.

So then your first job, what was that?

Uh, do you mean, like. Like df1 kind of thing. So. So basically, that is when the first year of national recruitment. That’s the first year they brought it in. So I almost had this this job lined up. I knew through a family friend, um, a guy practising in Wotton under edge. So a chap called Phil Loughnane and he’s the, the Bristol adviser and he still is. And you know, it’s that practice has always had a great reputation. So I kind of got the cogs in motion as we were coming to the end of uni and effectively just sort of teed myself up for that job and then suddenly heard that actually, you know, now we’re going to have national recruitment. So you could be placed anywhere in the UK. So anyway, as it happens, we kind of got our rankings and everything and I managed to get my first choice, which was Bristol. So we had ten practices that we’d have to choose from and then they have this kind of Meet the Trainer interview and that was actually in the bath scheme. So that practice happened to be in the bath scheme. So I really wanted it. So we went to the Meet the Trainer interview and then as, as it turns out, when we got, got our exact practices, I happened to get that practice anyway. So after all of all of that, a little bit of luck, little stroke of luck. I managed to secure that as my as my first role and I was chuffed to bits with that. So it was great.

Explain, explain to me how does it work? National recruitment. They rank you and then you say, this is my first choice. This is my second choice. If your rank is high enough, you get your first choice area.

Yeah, exactly right.

And then this thing, this thing that you just said, meet the trainer. What’s that like a speed dating where you meet several of them?

Exactly. So if you’re sort of ranked within a certain thing, I don’t know exactly how they work out, to be honest. But, you know, if you’re if you’re ranked high enough, presumably there’s certain cities that are more favoured by by certain students, you know, so the Capitals is probably where a lot of people tend to tend to apply. So once once I got to that bit, I knew that I was going to be in the South West. I knew that I was going to be within the bath area. And then you get like a little bit of a blurb about each practice. And then if you if you like the sound of it, you kind of put them as a number one. And if if they put you as their their kind of favoured, if you get kind of similar rankings, then you get paired together. So, you know, it just so happened that they they ranked me as number one. I rank them as number one. And there we go.

So what was that like? What was what was your first boss like? I mean, I find the first boss is such a launch pad, right?

That role really, I think, set me into a good, good kind of stead. So I think that year is what really shapes your career clinically.

Yeah, I agree.

It’s, um. You come out of dental school with what you think is quite good clinical exposure and then the first day it’s, it’s a bit of a shock to the system. So, so they were really nice though. Like I remember the first day that I started, they were like, you know, so how many patients do you want to see at the beginning? And you know what things they’re really good at focusing on like strengths and weaknesses. They were quite, quite big on photography. They were really keen on that being kind of one one of the well known practices in the area and really supportive. So I think I got a huge numbers of quotas in terms of kind of restorative endos a lot of all surgery, I got a lot of experience and yeah, he was a great boss. You know, I think he, you know, super supportive. And in fact, to the point that I went on to do DF2, but actually when an associate job opened up at that practice, I actually took up, took up the job.

And now this interest in minimally invasive cosmetic dentistry. Did you feel like you started to get sort of the early signs that that’s the direction you were going to go in as early as one? When was the first time it came on your radar? That sort of work?

So I think I knew that I had an aptitude for that, for that type of work. During the case presentation. So I at the end of the day, one year you do your kind of case presentation prizes and things. And I happen to to win the prize for clinical photography. And the case that I, um, I treated was a kind of more cosmetic case. So I got a little bit of a buzz for that around then. And we had some great lectures from in the likes of like Louis Mackenzie. He was doing a lot of cool, like kind of cosmetic restorative stuff. And then, um, I thought to myself when I was at Guy’s, we, you know, we did do a lot more kind of treatment of hypodontia and more minimally invasive techniques for that. So I can remember doing, um, you know, treatment of tetracycline cases as well as more minimally invasive treatment of these, these hypodontia cases and often doing these composite build ups, something that I wasn’t exposed to a lot of in, in my df1. And after that I started to hear these, these kind of names being pushed around a lot. So for instance, Chris, Chris or yeah, I mean that that was, you know, one of the inspirational people, one of my kind of mentors and went on to do the course with advanced dental seminars in London. And from then on I just haven’t looked back, you know, I think that really changed and shaped my career moving forwards. Really.

So was your df2 in guys.

Df2 is it guys? Yeah. So had a combination of restorative and oral surgery.

And so explain that to me. Is it like optional to do df2?

Yes. So that time, the way that it was set up, I think the structure has changed now. But the way that it was set up is, you know, after completing your df1, you get your performer number, you know, you’re ready to go in practice. So a lot of my friends were kind of getting mixed roles, like a combination of kind of private practice or, you know, any kind of roles that were going really. Yeah. But that also became a national kind of recruitment process. So it was the first year for that. So again, I thought to myself, Look, this is the only opportunity that had advice from a few friends and some family members. They’re like, This is the only opportunity you’re going to get where you know you can still. You know, when you get a feel for earning a lot more, you basically will will find it difficult to go back. That’s true. So they were like, if you want to do it, you know, now’s the time to do it. And you know, you’re never going to be in that environment unless you really want to specialise and do specialist training. And I was undecided at that point. I thought to myself, like, I see myself doing a lot more kind of prosthodontic stuff. So, you know, if I could if I could get a decent role where I get exposure to that, maybe that would help to make my decision.

And then I just happened to again, it was it was quite a tough interview process. The the one the area that I really wanted to get into was I want to explore London a little bit, not just for not just to to get back the memories of my work experience, but it was more just a case of, you know, being at this kind of prestigious dental school and almost seeing seeing how it runs and operates. So happened to to rank really highly in that. And I got my first choice of role for that. So that was like started off the first six months, were in a restorative post and then that was great. I was working with Prof. Banerjee, David Bartlett, and you know, they were great mentors and they really, again, really shaped that that side of things in a certain way of treatment, planning and thinking. And then the second half of the year was focusing a lot more on the oral surgery side. So I had I was working with Chris Jerry Kwok, some, some great oral surgeons and got exposure to some to some really cool stuff. So that’s when I got a feel for more of the implant side as well. I got got to see a lot more surgery with implants.

And what do you say? You know, on this podcast, we’ve had a bunch of guys, men here who they kind of drum it into them, that they’re the best. Is it special? They’re. I mean, as a kind of gone. Be careful. Be careful.

I’ve got be super careful what I say here because. No, no, just.

Just say it. Say it. Say it how you see it, man. Like, really, Is it special? Like, okay, you’ve got these big names. I guess that must be a big thing.

There is definitely something, something special about that place. You know, I think the amount of research that they do there and they were definitely doing a lot more implant related work. So they were they were really ahead on that. And I feel that the vastness of it and almost like the location, there’s something prestigious about it. So I think there’s definitely something special about it. But then equally, I felt that from Cardiff, the amount of clinical exposure that, you know, I got as an undergrad is definitely a lot more than what I was. I was seeing a lot of graduates, you know, King’s getting, but the academia and the research and almost the prestige and carrying that name, I mean, that’s, that’s a great asset to anybody to have on their CV.

Yeah, for sure. So then tell me, first job in practice.

Yes. So that’s that was when there was a turning point when we were coming to the end of DF2. Almost had to had to sort of decide, do I go on to do kind of prosthodontic. Training? Do I apply now? Because there are a lot of a lot of the kind of supervisors there to say, look, look, I think you would enjoy cross training. I think you’d be a great kind of candidate candidate to apply. So they were kind of hinting that, you know, you should apply. And one of my a couple of my friends from Cardiff were actually on the programme at Guy’s and they were comparing it to the Eastman programme and just saying like, listen, like if you, you know, if you’re going to take Eastman or if you’re going to apply there, you have to accept that pretty much, you know, four years of your life are just out. You know, you’re going to be doing your own wax ups, you’re going to be doing a lot of kind of research and that sort of stuff. At least with guys, they’ve got their own kind of lab department and it’s hard work, but it’s it’s more doable. You know, I think it’s a more viable option. So I was seriously considering that and then got to the point where an opportunity came up at the practice where I did my vocational training. And I just thought to myself, Do you know what I think? I just want to get out there and earn exposed, you know, expose myself, get into doing more treatment. That’s where I felt the most comfortable. I just couldn’t see myself almost being a student again for another four years. It just it just didn’t didn’t feel right. And I’m glad I took that path. Like, I think I’ve been a lot of kind of private courses and had lots of great opportunities with a few few companies and that’s really set me up well. And I’ve learnt a lot, you know, in a different pathway.

Yeah, I mean, it’s a question that keeps coming up. You know, should you or shouldn’t you do the sort of the training that gives you letters after your name? And is that sort of traditional path or should you go and do courses? I don’t think it’s an awful thing, really. It’s you know, you can do both or, you know, I know some dentists who’ve got no letters after their name and they’re just brilliant, brilliant dentists. And then and the opposite side of it is true as well. Right?

You’ve got I think everybody kind of paves their own path. And I think that a career is almost built by like a series of opportunities. And, you know, it’s almost like placing yourself in in the right position. And, you know, they talk about about luck. You know, I think you can get lucky, but you can almost prepare yourself and place yourself in the right position for for that luck to find you. And I think that’s kind of kind of what what’s happened with me like I’ve almost been had had like a rough plan in my mind as to the direction I want to go and just had a series of opportunities. This led me into that pathway. So I don’t think, you know, for certain people specialist training is definitely the way to go. It’s a much more structured approach. Yeah, For me, it’s almost like self-directed learning, you know, I think that that that is what suits me a lot better.

But then. Okay, what was someone look, someone wants to take it the way that you took it. Yeah. What were the key conversations you had where or the key courses you did or the key moves you made to turn you into a guy who’s, you know, looking at being a know, very highly sort of quality led dentist. Right. What was it like? Who said what to you and what did you do if you had to sort of distil it down? What are the key things?

Yeah, I think it was more so. There’s a combination of things. I think when you first take an associate job and you think to yourself, Do you know what like six 7000 is like, that’s definitely achievable. Like in your head, you think, I could easily do that? And I was. I’ve always been quite efficient and proficient the way I work. So I thought to myself, you know, I can definitely do that. And you know, that that first year in practice was tough. You know, I really, really struggled. I think that part of me said like, there’s got to be another way. There’s got to be another way to to work where you’re you know, I always wanted to practice ethically. You know, I think that’s the most important thing. And I always wanted to deliver the best care for patients. And I just started to realise that this is, you know, I can’t do this for like another 40 years. There’s got to be another way. And part of that is when I started to then think to myself like, what are the ways are there? And that’s when I started to kind of approach family members. I had advice from a lot of my family.

Are they dentists?

Yeah. So I have quite a few cousins in London that are dentists. And, you know, some of them are working in, you know, great locations, great practices, and they’re almost like the family dentists and I’d call them like the dentist, dentists. You know, a lot of our family members that are dentists, there’s one of my cousins that I did work experience with. A lot of them go to see him. So he himself has always like delivered very high quality of care. And I think I thought to myself, you know, I want to strive to achieve that, you know, that I’ve seen that. And I think that’s something that struck a chord there. Like it definitely is achievable. And then I think seeing the work of some more kind of inspirational kind of lecturers and the people that kind of really inspire you. I saw a lot of kind of Jason Smiths and stuff that inspired me early on when when I went to Mini Smile Makeover, I was I was really inspired with some of the things that he was doing. And then going to these awards ceremonies, like a lot of this is like, what is it? Is it all about marketing? Is it all about PR? But for me, it wasn’t about that.

It wasn’t about like, you know, taking home an award. It was actually about the journey that that took you on. And I remember sitting there and it was the year that I won the tooth whitening category of the aesthetic dentistry, and I saw some of the work that was coming out of the Palmer Brothers that year. They they almost got ten, ten awards. And that, you know, that really inspired me. I thought to myself, like, look, these guys are at the top of their game. And that kind of actually led me to to think that, you know, there is definitely a different way of approaching this. And from then I just went on loads of loads of different courses, you know, some, some stuff by, by Tiff Qureshi I think he’s been he’s been a kind of great inspiration and a lot of the other guys, in terms of the more aesthetic Crown work, seeing Chris’s work during the course. Crystal. Crystal Yeah, seeing some of his cases during Brilliant Teacher.

Brilliant teacher.

Man Yeah. I mean, I think that just that year itself, like, really instilled the kind of. Side. And that’s when I decided to step back. And I really I just realised that in the practice that I was in, it was going to be difficult for me to achieve what I wanted to clinically. And I almost felt like I outgrew the practice. And then another another opportunity came up where a friend of mine, Alan Bergen, he was moving to Cornwall at the time. So great.

Great guy. The Cornish dentist.

The Cornish dentist. Yeah. He was just setting up that that profile at the time. Great guy. And he just said, listen, you know, I’m moving to Cornwall. And I was I was. Were you in.

The same year?

We were, yeah. Yeah, we were. We were in in Cardiff together. So we’ve actually travelled together as well. We did, um, me and Alan and one of our other friends, um, Viraj Patel, who’s he’s quite a prominent implant dentist. We all travelled. We did the Interrailing trip around Europe.

Oh, amazing.

So, yeah, that was great with those guys. And yeah, I mean, it’s great you develop these connections in uni and then later on you find that these are the same people that kind of you bump into inspire you. So he basically said, he’s like, listen, there’s, there’s a, there’s a job going near Bath. If you feel, you know, it sounds like it might be more what you’re suited to. It’s much less NHS and an opportunity to kind of grow your private. So I thought to myself, look, he’s a great guy. He’s a good guy to take over from.

Oh, you took his job.

I took his job. Yeah.

Oh, I see. I see. I see.

So when he moved to Cornwall, he actually mean he teed me up pretty well. He got some pretty nice, juicy cases ready for me. And I think from then on, like, that was. That was a great transition. It was like the smoothest transition I’ve had into an associate job in a new practice. And I stayed there for a good couple of years. And that was with a guy called George Maccius, who’s quite well known in the implant world. And from then on that’s where I got a lot more experience in implants, restoring a lot more implants. And I did a course with Nobel Biocare it’s the year long course with them and placed about ten implants as part of that. So yeah, from, from then on that was really my conversion from doing a lot more heavy NHS to a lot more of the private side.

And what an acceleration man. What an.

Acceleration. Yeah it was, it was. I think that’s the thing is sometimes you have to really change the environment that you’re in. And if you want to excel at something, I think you’ve just got to throw yourself in the deep end.

And the thing is, it’s the story of every young associate right now, isn’t it, who wants to leave the NHS? Every single young associate I speak to wants to leave the NHS. And now, you know, Rishi Sunak just said, Hey, we’re going to make you all work in the NHS and and then we’re all saying, Hey, why don’t you just fix the NHS? But, but you know, everyone wants to do it, but what you’ve done there, talk to the right people. I mean, I guess, you know, having, having family who are dentists are actually a massive advantage that those of us who don’t. I mean, I’ve got a couple of dentist uncles back home in Iran. Right. But, you know, it’s a massive advantage. Yeah. To be able to bounce ideas off someone. Dipesh says this too, you know, he’s got his brother who’s a very sort of experienced implant guy, and then he’s got his other brother, who’s a very experienced technician. And he said that the conversations while he was a 16 year old, conversations in his house were about dentistry. And so he sort of hit the ground running in that sense. But yeah, I like the story a lot, buddy. I like the story a lot that you’ve gone and gone and fixed it for yourself, right? You’ve gone and talk to the right people and done it like that.

Like I said, I think you’ve got to put yourself in the right opportunities. You’ve got to put yourself out there and the opportunities will come for sure.

So then how long do you stay there? Was there another practice in between there and Alfonso’s Queen Square?

No, no. So I was based there for nearly three years, and I think this was an interesting one, actually, because that’s when Covid hit. So I was working there. And it’s a practice which is is pretty close to where I live. Like it’s which is nice in some ways. But what I was starting to realise is that actually it’s nice to have a little bit of separation between your patients and where you live because during, during lockdown I can remember I was kind of going for walks around in our allocated one hour that we had and quite a lot of the time I’d bump into some patients and it was a bit of an awkward one because they would almost be like, look, you know, we, we, we, you know, we need some of them did need dental care. And I was just like, I can’t see you, man. Like. It’s it’s the rules at the moment. So I think there was part of that that I thought, eh, like the idea of having a little bit of separation between kind of work and and home life. So having a bit of distance from the practice. So that was always playing on my mind. And then during that time I’ve always known Alfonzo for a while. I met him at, um, one of the, the dentistry awards. This was in Leicester and, you know, he’s a great guy and we had a lot of fun over a few drinks and then, um.

He’s a brilliant guy.

No, he’s a, he’s a top man. And he randomly kind of calls me up shortly after practice was starting to reopen and it was like, ciao. Um, listen, he was like, Listen, Ash, how how’s it going? And I was like, it was I was a bit gobsmacked. I was like, you know, he never calls me. And he he basically sort of called me up and was like, Um, I have a position for you in Queen’s Square. I was like, What? And yeah, he basically was like, look, you know, there’s a couple of days going in Queen’s Square. I’d like you to work here. You know, I never applied for the job.

And how did how did he know about you?

I still don’t really know. I think that he’s very kind of knowledgeable in the area and a lot of the way that he grows his practices and grows his team is kind of from reputation in the area. So I don’t know whether that part of it is his. His brother in law had worked with me in one of the practices where I was working. And I don’t know whether he put a tip in, but to this day, I don’t I don’t actually know. You know, I’m not sure exactly how we’ve kind of found out, but it was it was quite a nice interview because I kind of knew that the job was there waiting. And we just did a couple of formalities and we had a bit of a chat. He said, You know, if you’ve got a clinical portfolio, it’d be good to see it. And, you know, I’d set up quite a lot of things.

So was that Richard Fields, patients that you took over?

So it was it was always a combination. You know, I’ve taken on a lot of Richard’s list, but not from the beginning. There’s one of the long standing associates, Mark Gillis, who was working there, and he wanted to refine a lot of his practice into doing oral surgery. So he had a general list kind of pretty much ready to go to maintain. And that’s the list that I kind of initially took over. And, you know, again, it was it was it was great because from the beginning, Alfonzo was pretty supportive. He was like, look, there’s no pressure to see a certain number of patients a day. Like, you just want you to feel comfortable in the practice and grow. And this is when I started to see like another standard of dentistry. This is when I was like, Look, it’s Alfonzo doesn’t compromise on quality. You know, it has the clinical standard has to be high. And that’s when I saw like another, another level of dentistry. And I think again, it was one of these situations where you just throw yourself in the deep end and you either sink or swim. It was it was one of those ones. And, you know, I think I’m still swimming at the moment.

So he’s, you know, with our Alphonso, what gets me about him is that, you know, he seems like the friendliest, funnest guy in the world. Yeah. But you just know like, you know, there’s no way you can be like that and run 14 practices or whatever it is he’s got. So so, you know, he carries off that tension between being your best friend and being your boss somehow. Yeah, that, by the way, from the outside, I’m not. I’m not on the inside. Right. He’s he’s not my boss. But I just. I just love the way that he manages to pull off those two things, you know? He’s brilliant.

It’s a tricky role. Like, I think that being an excellent clinician, when you’re focusing on your clinical work, like trying to pull off the management of staff, I mean, you know, I don’t know how he does it, to be honest, but it’s a very fine skill and I don’t think many people have that skill. Like, I think he’s got it, but I think.

He goes off instinct a lot, you know, like some people are like that. If something if someone feels right, they just they trust their instincts and they go with that person. And I guess he’s got that with his managers and and so on, you know? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I’m sure there are always times when something doesn’t quite work out, but like, to get to that point, like I think you have to take risk, you know, he’s, he’s definitely not a person to shy of risk and I think um, you know to, to build like an academy to build that level of practice, to build a group like that, you know, it’s quite an achievement.

So now you also work at a BUPA.

Yeah. Yeah.

So tell me about the difference between those two. It must be a big difference working for Bupa on the one side and Alfonso on the other.

So part of it is working in Queen’s Square is a very it can be quite taxing. So clinically demanding, like it’s quite a physically demanding role because it’s such a busy private practice. It’s got such a high reputation. I think doing five days of that would just I just don’t think I could manage that level of concentration for five days. Wow. So, you know, I’ve got a young family and I think Covid sort of taught all of us, you know, it’s getting the priorities right. You know, spending time with your family, doing a lot of that. So part of the reason of the BUPA job is I mean, look, it’s it’s almost like a kind of it’s like a more of a private practice, but it’s more like a family practice. And in a way, when you’re working at a certain standard, you know, you work at your, your normal standard anyway. But I feel like at that practice, I can kind of just take a little bit of a step back and get a chance to just do the little things, do the nursery drop offs, try and try and just manage a family life in the background as well.

Love that. Love that. How old are your kids?

So our eldest, Serena, is four and the youngest aria has just turned seven months. So. Yeah.

Are you telling me I saw you at tubules? Isn’t it? Yeah. Yeah, I remember you telling me. Seven months. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting to get some sleep again, so that’s great. But, you know, she’s really, really starting to kind of grow now and looking kind of. She’s got super big eyes and looking super cute at the moment. So yeah, it means coming back home and, you know, getting a chance to spend time with them. That’s that’s really important to me as well. And I think it’s just striking that balance.

Although, you know, your age. What are you, 32 something, 34, 34, whatever those those ages. Yeah. And and in your early 30s. Yeah. And young kids as well. It’s a funny time in life man, because early 30s almost is. You’re peaking. You’re completely peaking. You know, you’re Peking duck, man. You’re like, you’re, you’re earning, you’re earning and you’re young here And then but then there’s kids and then the kids. And I notice a lot of friends and family at your age a little bit. Maybe it’s like a man thing. Don’t know, a bit under stress, man. You’re being pulled in every direction somehow, you know, because it’s the beginning of serious work. It’s the beginning of serious parenthood. And, you know, not five years ago you were just like this young, free and single guy. He was like going off to Ibiza whenever you wanted to do. Am I right about this or are you managing? Was it just me who suffered that?

No, it’s definitely a juggling act. Like I think there’s a lot of things that Yeah. On on my mind and you know definitely spending a lot of plates that’s that’s that’s.

What I was looking for.

But you do it right You do it like I think the things that are important and the things that matter, you find a way like I think, Sure. And right now I find the energy from somewhere, you know, to do it. And like you say, I’m at my peak, so why not make the most of it? Why not? Why not try and take advantage of that? And like I said, I’ve I’ve got some of the best opportunities I’ve had in my career. Um, you know, tell me, tell me.

About the teaching. Tell me about the teaching. How, how did this come about?

Yeah. So that was an interesting one. I’ve done a little bit of teaching with at guys, you know, that’s the first kind of exposure that I had to that and that’s a real turning point because it didn’t feel like long ago that I was a student. And then again, you get thrown a bit in the deep end and there might be the time when you have to kind of supervise some of the undergrads in emergency department, restorative or surgery. So that was the first taste I had of it. I really enjoyed it. You know, I felt it felt really good to kind of impart some knowledge, something that you’ve learned and some impart some wisdom on someone else and and see them grow. So I really enjoyed that side. And, you know, I think really to have some credibility to you, I think you’ve got to have enough, you know, some experience. They talk about having like 10,000 hours of clinical experience before you can become an expert in one particular field. So I thought to myself, look, before I do more teaching, I think I’ve just got to get stuck in get that experience, go through the difficult situations, all of the difficult scenarios, difficult patients and.

See your own failures, see your own failures. A massive thing.

Completely. Completely. Yeah, that’s I think that’s the biggest way to learn. Like I’ve seen plenty of failures and I think that that in itself it kind of makes you a lot more humble in the care that you’re delivering, for sure. Yeah. And that that is when I felt that that was a good. Time to get involved in some teaching. So one of when I was working in the practice in Corsham in Bath, one of the the reps in the area, a guy called Ben, he kind of came round and said, Look, I’ve seen some of your work, some of the stuff you posted on Instagram, like maybe you should try some of our materials and see, you know, see what you can do with them.

What’s that?

Voco Voco. Yeah. Yeah. What?

The ceramic stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, actually, when when I first got into using some of these products, that’s what they’re known for. They’re known for a lot of their kind of biocompatible nanohybrid composite materials used like everyone sees them as like the German kind of posterior composite company, but they’ve actually got some fantastic anterior composites. And I actually, you know, started to I took a sample of some of these and I had just so happens that the next day, a kind of tricky class four fracture came in and I went back through my kind of crystal notes and looked at Berninis papers and I was like, Do you know what? I’m going to give this a go? And I kind of sketched it out and, you know, put in all my kind of dentine layers, my enamel, opacities and all of that. And I just thought, let’s just go for it. And, you know, it was a really tough case. And anyway, I showed him the kind of photos after. It was like, That’s a great result. Like, it’d be great to show this to some of the guys at the kind of R&D department or some of the headquarters in Germany and, you know, see what they think about it. And then from then it kind of just snowballed. Like I they really liked some of the stuff. I was posting a lot of the kind of content and shortly after they kind of said, you know, if we love you to become like a fellow for for us and, and yeah just come along to our fellowship symposium and got you know, just kind of happened like that. And you know since then I’ve I’ve used just a range of different products and I think you find what works in your hands and this this one seems to seems to work pretty well and yeah from then I’ve gone on it.

Is it, is it the ceramic one.

So the for the posteriors I do use the ceramic. It’s they’ve got a new version of that. So it’s admira fusion five. That is a ceramic based one. Yeah. For a lot of my anterior cases I actually use something called a product called Amoris and that is, you know, now nano filled, but it’s got like micro filler particles as well. It’s great polish, you know, for some cases I use some cosmogenic materials as well, so. Oh well, still still using that as well. Yeah.

You have to say that man.

There’s some in the drawer.

Definitely. There’s definitely some in the drawer.

The funny thing is dude. Yeah. That you end up learning the material that you learn, right? And then. And then you learn a technique, let’s say with the admira Fusion five, whatever you called that. Yeah. You start, you use a particular polisher on it that snaps the polisher, then you use a different polisher and Oh that worked. Right. Yeah. So then now now you’ve got to take, you’ve got your own technique here that I use the, the back of the pyramid, you know the little, the pointy thing I use the back of it not the front of it. Let’s say for the sake of the argument. Yeah. And you know, at the end of the day, what is a teacher? A teacher is someone who’s got more of these little tips and tricks than the rest of us. Yeah. And so then suddenly you’re realising, oh, I’m polishing my admira fusion four five. Like this. Yeah. And now, now the rep says to you, oh so-and-so in Germany said try this. Yeah. And then and now we’ve got, you know it builds doesn’t it. It builds. Yeah. And, and it’s funny. Who was I discussing this with. Rupert. Rupert. Yeah. Do you know Rupert Monkhouse. Yeah.

I was listening to your podcast.

Oh. Did you hear it? Did you hear it? So. So, yeah. So we were talking about that very subject, right? That, you know, there’s one side of it that says, okay, you’re going to teach for vodka and you’re going to use vodka materials because you’re going to be paid by them to teach. Yeah. And, you know, I paid the patient and, you know, we pay we pay people to teach. That’s that’s how it works. But there’s the other side of it. And I used to I used to get myself in my head in a funny place about this and say, oh, why is that guy using that material where, you know, this one’s better or whatever it is? Yeah. And then you realise that this point, the one I just made about, you know, you develop a technique based on the stuff that you’ve been using and then you take that technique further and further and then you get access from the manufacturer to new techniques and new things and new materials, and that becomes you. You become the material, don’t you?

That’s and I think that this is where I’ve learned so much. You know, I feel like I’ve come such a long way because you suddenly start to have a different circle of people that you interact with. And and these people are teaching you things that you never you didn’t even know about. You know, this is stuff that you almost don’t find in textbooks. It’s not stuff that you learn.

Like when you go is that when you go off to like a day or something and you meet the top guys from each each market?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I’ve been working a lot with Opti then as well, and we’ve had some fantastic lectures from a lot of the kind of Style Italiano guys. And I think that this is what again, what’s really driven that passion. You know, I think when I see the likes of Walter Devoto, kind of Louis Hardin, a lot of these guys, Miguel Stanley, have had access to a lot of these guys and had quite, you know, brushed shoulders with them, had some good chats. And I think that, again, that just drives that passion. It just wants you to excel and just get better at what you’re doing.

Yeah. What is Miguel Stanley, one of the Voco guys. No obtuse angles.

No, no, he works.

He works quite well. Quite a lot with Voco. So at the last Fellowship symposium, he was the kind of keynote speaker there and yeah, did a a great talk. Oh, the energy from that guy and the passion, honestly.

It’s also he’s, he’s so open to new ideas that something I’ve seen, you know to, to be open to new ideas and then test them and try them to keep on being like that. As you become more and more senior, it’s quite difficult. You know, it’s quite difficult because you get stuck in what you know, But there are some, some characters out there, Yeah, there’s a reason why they’re so famous and all that. Yeah. And he’s, he’s one of them. So tell me, teaching wise, how often are you teaching?

So actually this year I spent a little while developing some courses and my time now is split between doing some lecturing at some of the dentistry shows. So I’ve had some some opportunities at delivering some lectures at those slots. So a little bit of teaching there and I deliver. This is the first show that I’ve been delivering some some courses. I developed a course, um, you know, my kind of tagline is the magic of so it’s like the magic of posterior composites, the magic of, you know, minimally invasive cosmetic dentistry. So I’ve got a couple of courses that I’ve been doing at Delta Dental, which is part of the Queen’s Square Group. So really that’s something that’s taken off a lot this year. So maybe doing about kind of 4 or 5 different slots this year. And I’m trying to keep it kind of educational, but a bit fun as well. I’ve got another passion where I’m quite into a bit of like close up card magic. Oh yeah. So on the courses we, we deliver the obviously a lot of the clinical but in quite a fun way and there’s, there’s plenty of tricks that I have up my sleeve I should say.

What comedian Go on, go on. Explain that to me. What happens? Do you have a little section at the in the social where you do the card tricks.

During the.

Lectures? No, during the lectures you want, I think I think when there’s a time when I see people switching off, I kind of just sort of stop and say, Listen, guys, I think it’s time for time for a trick. I think it’s time to get your get your energy up a little bit. And so some of these tricks hit pretty hard. So I think it’s hard for people not to not to pay attention to them.

How funny. When did that start?

Yeah, so I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. So there’s always been I always used to have like Paul Daniel’s sets and, um, you know, always used to ask for Christmas for like Penn and Teller stuff and always used to watch all the kind of David Copperfield shows, David Blaine, all that kind of stuff. And then, you know, there was a point in time when Magic just wasn’t cool anymore. Like you get to kind of teen years and you’re just like, you know, it’s, you know, back then it just wasn’t that cool. And then I sort of took a bit of a step back. Maybe I became a bit more studious at that point. I don’t know. And then, um, actually one of the guys that inspired me again, he’s actually the head of the Bristol Magic Society. And when we got married, I said it’d be great to have a magician at the reception. So this guy, Callum Weaver, he tours with Derren Brown. He’s like an internationally recognised magician and managed to he’s actually quite a close friend now and we managed to get him to do some magic at the wedding. And that really just sort of drove that passion again. And I thought to myself, Do you know what? Magic is cool again? So I think I’m going to try and just pick up, you know, get some of the old tricks out.

Oh, I see. I see. That’s why the course is called the Magic of. Because of the magic. The magic tricks.

Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. So it’s a combination of that. So there’s, you know, there’s some, there’s some tricks that are involved and there’s a, there’s a couple of surprises on the course. So a few things that people won’t expect. It’s, you know, delivering high clinical content, but, you know, with a little bit of entertainment and it’s quite light-hearted and formal.

I love that man. I love that, you know, as long as it’s authentic. And that’s the most important thing, isn’t it, As long as it’s authentic. And and that’s that’s new, right? You didn’t copy that off anyone?

I’m trying to think.

Think Raj Rattan does a couple of couple of magic tricks. He’s part of the magic circle, but I’ve never seen him. Do anything while he’s doing, you know, giving a lecture. So. So this this might be a different spin on things. Yeah.

Yeah. We had a guy, mini Bamaca Rishi. He was. He was good. He was really.

Good. Yeah, I know him. I know him. Yeah. Yeah, he’s great.

He did this thing where he was it, like the. The card, like, literally went up in smoke. Actual smoke. Like he burnt it or so actual smoke came off it. And do you know Martin at Ariana do Yeah.

Yeah.

He does some he does some stuff Have you seen his.

He’s phenomenal. No he’s phenomenal. I’ve was sat next to him at the private private dentistry awards and, you know, we just got talking and it was just really funny.

Both of us are magicians.

Exactly.

Exactly. I was like, Is this your card? Um, no, it was great. But no, we might be doing something together in the pipeline. There might. There might be. Really?

Really?

Yeah.

How cool.

Well.

Listen, man, I’ll bear you guys in mind for the next enlightened party.

We’ll be there. We’ll be there. Definitely.

You’re actually right about the coolness thing, though. Yeah, because throughout the years go by, right? We do Dental shows, We do Dental parties, we do this, that and the other. Always. You know, every year you want to make it better and different, whatever. And. And people go to my team and say, Hey, what’s the latest thing? You know? And one one year they’ll say, you know, the selfie camera that goes round and round, you know, that 360, 360 selfie thing. Yeah, yeah. And then another year we’ll get some DJ and then and then lately they’ve been saying magic. And I was like, magic. That’s not cool. Yeah. And they turn around and. No, that’s cool. That’s like really cool. And when you get these sort of the younger group, that Gen Z saying that, Yeah, you realise, okay, magic’s back. Magic’s back. So yeah. Like that.

That. Do you know what I actually.

Like about it? I think what after one of these courses or one of the lectures I did, Callum, who’s like an outsider, he’s completely non dentist friend, he, he came out and he put something really great out there and I thought to myself, like the reaction that you get after, like delivering a smile maker for a patient like that is that feeling of elation. Like, it’s such a great feeling. And I feel like I get that same feeling after just doing like an awesome magic trick. Like you just feel like you’ve just like, they’re just so amazed. They’re just like, How is that possible? And I think I’m going off that. I’m trying to I’m trying to, like, keep that, keep that energy up. And that’s what I really like about it, is it almost really breaks the ice. You can have a room of people that are complete strangers and you you throw a bit of magic in there and you involve a lot of people. And you know, immediately the room, you know, feels like we’re all friends.

So do you want to do you want to is it not done? Not done thing to explain like not how it’s done, not how it’s done, but like, explain one of your tricks. Like what? What happens? Because. Because Martin did one the card. He threw the cards at the ceiling and one of them stuck to the ceiling. Man, It was.

That moment, I can tell.

You. What Do you know what? I was actually at a recent course with Costas and Zo. It’s prostate works. It’s like an injection moulding course. Right? So I was there this week, and sometimes when I’m at the student things, one of the guys basically it’s Tom from Occidente, he works, I think he covers a lot of London area and he was there, so they were sponsoring the course and he basically really stitched me up. He kind of said like, Listen, Ash, like we need to break the ice a little bit here and told everyone he’s going to do a great magic trick for you. And I was like completely unprepared. I was so rushed out of leaving the house, I didn’t even bring my cards. Nothing. You know, a lot of the stuff I can do with normal pack of cards anyway, you know, it’s real magic. But the but this, this one, there’s, there’s one which I do with, like, a phone. Yeah. So basically what you do is you get three different random people to type in a three digit number and they, they basically like you. Do you go on the calculator app, type in the three digit number, pass it on to the next person. They times it by that, times it by that. So you end up with a number in the tens of millions, right? Yeah. So then somebody at the end is holding the phone face towards them and there’s, you know, they’re like, okay, it’s a random random number in the millions.

So I get a piece of paper and I basically predict what that number is on the phone, right? No. So, you know, with a lot of theatre involved, right, Pretty much kind of like write out this was like 32 million or something, right? So then you get this bit of paper and then the person, then I’m like, look, listen, what we’re going to we’re going to show everybody. We’re going to turn them around together and hopefully I’ve got close to your number, right? They turn it around and it is exactly the number that was written on on this bit of paper. And everyone’s like, how how did he do that? Right? Like, it’s a great thing. What I love about this trick is you then take it a step further and you’re like, Listen, guys, you know, how about we do something different and we take those digits and we reverse them So you pass them to someone else, they get a pen and they write the digits out in reverse. And then everyone’s like thinking like, what is he doing now? So you look at the look at the digits and then you show it to everybody. It’s like, Does anybody recognise those numbers? And everyone’s like, Oh my God, that’s today’s date. So that, that that’s the one that I did at this. How is.

That possible?

How is that possible?

I don’t know, man. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But you got lucky this time.

So I guess you’re not going to tell us how you do that one?

I don’t know. You have to. You have to come and see me at one of the courses, and we can. We can we can talk about that one.

The let’s, let’s get let’s get to darker parts. Darker parts. I want to talk about errors. Mistakes, clinical errors. What comes to mind when I say clinical errors?

Look, we all make them. And there’s no there’s no shame in sharing our mistakes. You know, that’s what we learn from. And I think I’ve made plenty. You know, there’s there’s definitely been times when I’ve looked back and I’m like, how how on earth did I do that? Um, so one that comes to mind is actually in dental school. And I remember that I was pretty much like, you know, we’re going into like the perio department. And perio was always, for me, a dull subject. And I just was getting into it and I was like, Look, I just going to get through this day. You just need to pass my scan and polish competency, whatever, right? So anyway, I went in to call my patient and got her in and I was in a bit of a rush of getting stuff started, so I just started like taking like a plaque score. When you’re trying to pass these competencies, it’s always it’s always a bit, you know, you’re always a little bit nervous just making sure you’re, you really want to nail them. So anyway, I started doing a plaque score, started disclosing, got through like to another point. And then, um, I was like, you have to get like a checkpoint by each supervisor, right? So supervisor comes along and was like, okay, I’m going to look at this. And there was already a patient’s chart on here and it was like, okay, upper eight, six. He’s like, This patient doesn’t have an upper right six Like, what’s going on? Um, so I look back and then we look at the patient’s notes and we just ask the patient their name again. And they were like, Yeah, that’s not me. So I’m luckily I was on the oral surgery department because I easily could have extracted the wrong tooth. But I think you underestimate how easy it is to just treat the wrong person so that, you know, that was a big learning curve. So every patient I get in now, I always check date of birth. I always just check the age and gender, make sure all of that’s good.

That’s a good point, man.

That’s a good point.

Yeah. So that that was, um, that was a little bit embarrassing. And I got mentioned in our uni yearbook for that and never let down for that. And, um.

But that won’t.

Do. That won’t do. Yeah. Give me something better than that.

So that’s a, that’s a really.

That’s a, that’s a really good point. Learning point. Yeah. That you’re right about that. You’re right about that. Yeah. That’s why, that’s why before they cut your kidney out they, they do that as well. It’s true isn’t it. That’s, that’s why they do it. But go on, give me something else.

I’ve got.

I’ve got something worse than that. Yeah. Something pretty bad that happened. So this was when I was, um, in one of my, like, two posts. So pretty much was getting into doing implants. And you’ll be familiar with, like, a pickup impression. So we’ve got, um, I was getting used to using some of these systems and I pretty much put the pickup on first experience of using some more of these in Prague. Um, so first experience of using gum, right? And I mean, that stuff is hard to use the first.

Time you use proper.

Sticky stuff, right? So I was too busy caught up in trying to fill up my tray and trying to get this into the patient’s mouth without it falling all over the place. So anyway, I did that. And then, um, a lot of the patients that you treat actually, because they’re kind of quite big cancer like all their resections, a lot of them have lost a lot of sensation to the back of their mouth. So often they don’t. They tend not to sometimes have like a reflex of prominence. So anyway, I’d done this impression and I pulled it out and I was like, Oh, great. Like, um, looks good. Like, I’m happy with it. I could see the kind of retromolar pads and all the kind of borders on it, you know, I think I’ve nailed this impression and I was looking at where the pickups were and I was like, Hang about. There’s only one pickup in here. Like I put two in and then actually kind of look back and I was like, All right, it’s not in the patient’s mouth, haven’t dropped on the floor. What is going on? I was like, Shit, Like what? What has happened here? Yeah.

And I was like, well, this is, this is either, you know, in the impression somewhere embedded in or the patient swallowed it or worse, they could have inhaled it, right? Yeah. So, um, yeah, that was super stressful, you know, we. What did you do to go x ray? Yeah. Yeah. Went to, um, went to kind of the radio, escorted the patient to the kind of radiology department and radiology and yeah, just, it was a bit nervous waiting to see what the situation was with, with like the chest x ray pretty much they took a chest x ray and. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think when, when they saw that, they actually saw that it was actually most of the time it goes down the right bronchus. So they, they spotted the healing abutment there, it was there in the right bunkers in the right. Well it hadn’t quite gone down. It was still in the tube, It was still retrievable. So from the mouth. From the mouth, yeah. Yeah. It was still retrievable there from there.

So they had.

An operation to get like they knocked him out to get it out.

Well, actually, fortunately with with this they were able to retrieve this with like a cage without actually without going into. But if, if it had gone further down. Yeah that that would be. That would be an operation pretty much. You know, that’s stuff. So I’m super careful with all the healing abutments that I deal with now, you know, use gauze and make sure the patient’s upright and stuff like that. So that was that was that was a pretty big learning curve. And yeah, that was a tough one.

That’s a goodie. That’s a goodie. Do you feel like I mean, do you feel like you were you were in on reflection, do you think like there was an element of carelessness there? Or was it one of those ones where it just dropped?

So I don’t know, man. Like, I think I checked, I checked everything. I made sure that the healing abutments were seated correctly. But like with anything, when you’re using a new system, you’re using a new material that you’re not used to like.

You know, improv wasn’t taught at all at dental school and when my day and yet it’s everywhere in practice, isn’t it? And a lot of people think it’s a gold standard or I don’t know, I’m a bit behind nowadays. I mean, you tell me, do people still think it’s the gold standard?

Do you know? I’m scanning a lot now.

Lot.

But if we’re talking analogue.

Yeah, I think.

If you’re going analogue, you know, and you’re taking implant impressions. Absolutely. There’s still still the gold standard. You know, I think it’s so dimensionally stable and even even when you’re getting those really deep margins that you know, and you’re finding it really difficult to isolate that. I mean, everyone talks about using gold standard kind of haemostatic agents and retraction cord and packing like in in the heat of the moment and when, you know, you might be busy on the day and something might not quite go your way. Yeah. You know, you just need a reliable material that’s that’s going to capture those margins. And, you know, I do still use it. I mean, but a lot of my practice is now now scanning. Yeah, you’ve got the scanner in Queen’s Square and I have the Itero in BUPA.

So which, which one.

Which one do you like more?

I think for my restorative, definitely the trios like in my hands that just works, works so much better and there’s so much that I feel you can do with it, but I don’t know whether it’s because my knowledge of it is better and I’ve been using it for longer, but I think I really kind of fine tuned my workflow with that. Like I rarely get any errors or problems and I like the communicate app. So a lot of the time when I’m chatting with a couple of my technicians, Stephen Lusty for instance, it’s very easy to just take a screenshot and then just bounce ideas back and forth off of him. So right now, yeah, I’m enjoying that. I’m going to the, the, I think we’re having a chat about this. I’m going to the Trios Symposium this Thursday, so hopefully learn some of the more advanced techniques with that. So looking looking forward to that.

And do you do do you do the Invisalign yourself as well?

No.

So I’ve treated maybe about sort of 11 or 12 Invisalign cases and I just feel I don’t have the patience for it. If I’m honest. I think that there’s a lot of times that I find it doesn’t work how I want it to in my hands, and then the refinements and everything that follows. And just coming towards the end of finishing, the patients often get super picky. And I think for me that is probably a skill that I still have to develop and I enjoy doing a lot of the finishing and a lot of the restorative afterwards. But I feel that there are there are people that are kind of better at managing those situations and their diary is almost tailored for that. Yeah. So the simple cases I probably take on, but yeah, the more complex cases I usually refer those on to either Alfonso, for instance, or some of my colleagues.

Where do you see your your career going? Are you looking to open a practice at some point?

Right now.

I’m enjoying the kind of combination of family life, being an associate, leaving, leaving work at work to some degree. I mean, I’m still playing cases at home. I’m enjoying the teaching side, so I’m just sort of going with it. I think I was listening to your podcast with Jason a while ago and he was he was saying that it’s it’s difficult for to have everything. You know, people will talk about how they can have the practice, have a lecture career, have a good family life, be a high performing associate.

And look after yourself as well. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think I think he had such a good point. Like I a lot of people might kind of portray themselves as having that, but generally, is that is that actually achievable? I don’t know. Like never say never. But, you know, right now I’m pretty comfortable and content with where I am.

I think Jason’s point especially, you know, international lecturer. Yeah, it takes it out of you, man. I just came back from Lithuania. Two, 2.5 hour flight. It’s nothing. Yeah. And yet it takes it out of you going a place, finding the place, making sure your laptop works, all of that. And then coming back. I did a one hour lecture with a 2.5 hour flight. Either either side of it. Tiring. Tiring. Tiring. Difficult. Yeah. When then you look at Jason, right? He’s off to the US every other weekend you know he’s he’s suddenly off to Indonesia and Australia and no way could he have been owning a practice at the same time. No way. He’s absolutely right about that.

Absolutely right. And this.

Is it. It’s almost like what what level do you want to get to in in a certain sector? And I think you ultimately there’s going to be a sacrifice somewhere. Right? You know, and it’s a question of what are you willing to sacrifice. And right now, you know, I’m quite content with, you know, really delivering high quality patient care, planning the cases, spending time with my family, you know, giving them the time that they deserve. And and, yeah, just focusing on this lecture and teaching side. So we’ll see that roles. But certainly in it’s not part of the next kind of five year plan.

But you must have in your head like the sort of ambition of hey, my perfect practice. We all do. Right. So do you think do you think you might end up not doing it at some point? Like you’re really saying that? I mean, there’s definitely you come across people like that, right? Teachers, they decide that’s what they’re going to do. They’re going to teach.

Yeah. Yeah. I’m not sure.

I think I’ve got the.

I’ve certainly got the right people around me to guide me and put me into the right context and steps in the right direction. But I honestly, at this stage, I’m not you know, I don’t I don’t feel completely you know, it’s definitely something that hasn’t crossed my mind yet. So never say never. Sure. I think I think the dentistry is changing a lot and the demands on principles and running a practice is becoming more and more challenging. And I can I can see that. But yeah, I mean, never say never. Like the other thing is my wife’s a dentist as well, so. Oh, is.

She. Is she. Yeah.

Yeah. So how much.

Does she work.

So right now she’s on, she’s on maternity. Yeah, of course. And she, I mean she’s looking to get, she herself is doing the transition from maybe kind of getting into a lot more private practice as well. So she’s she’s hoping to start off with that. And you know I think that she you know, again, trying to juggle it, she’ll she’ll probably start off with 2 or 3 days. And I think we’re just going to try and find our routine from there.

Yeah. Yeah. My wife, my wife’s a dentist. She does. She does one and a half days a week right now. I think it’s brilliant. It’s brilliant in so much as you can choose how many days a week you want to do, right?

That’s the best.

Flexibility is like you can have a side hustle. So if you feel like you want, you know, I don’t know if that’s how enlightened came about where yeah, kind of you sort of cut back a lot more in your clinical time and realise that actually there’s an opportunity here. There’s a market for this.

Yeah, Yeah. I was having that conversation with my son. You know, he’s, he’s saying he definitely doesn’t want to be a dentist. Right. And you know, he’s a 16 year old, so that’s what he might say. And I was telling him, hey, you know, all right, become a dentist and don’t be a dentist after that. Yeah. And he said, well, why, you know, when you’re 16, five years seems like such a long time, doesn’t it? But yeah. Would you would you advise your kids to become a dentist?

I think the more and more I look into this sort of stuff, I think the advice that I would give is do what you love like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But when it comes down to it, dude, Yeah. You’ll see when he’s 16 and deciding his A-levels. Yeah. And he says, All right, should I do politics or should I do chemistry? You end up having to give these bits of advice. I was the same as you. Oh, yeah, man. Follow. Follow your dreams, make movies and all of this. But suddenly these decisions come up, You know, it actually happens that way.

I think you’re pretty happy.

You’re happy, aren’t you? You’re happy as a dentist.

Why wouldn’t you advise it? Look, I’m.

Content in the role, and it’s for sure it’s created a lot, a lot of opportunities for me. And if I see the kind of interest and acumen there, like, I think there’s lots of dentists that are unhappy as well. There’s a lot of people that have like taken this role and then all of a sudden they’re stuck in that that kind of job. And the difficulty with it is you do the five year degree and when you’re actually in real life practice, sometimes it’s not what you kind of thought it was going to be. And I think if they enjoy it, if they do a good amount of work experience, you know, I probably would send them to Trocadero’s as well, go to the arcade, film their work experience, and then maybe, you know, after that, if they’re really paying genuine interest towards it and they’ve got they feel like they can have a passion for that. Absolutely. Like, you know, it’s a great job in the sense that it’s not an office based job. And, you know, you really do kind of get your hands dirty and you can you can create so many opportunities for yourself. And I think that that’s a very kind of unique field, which you can’t really do that in many other sectors.

What do you regret in your career? Don’t tell me you don’t regret anything. That’s kind of guy you are. No. Yeah. Apart from that, what do you regret? What do you wish you’d done something earlier or hadn’t done something or.

That’s a tough one.

Part of me does.

Part of me does regret what I have benefited more from specialising. Do you think would I have got more kind of experience and would I have almost fast tracked myself to be where I am? But in a way, you know, I feel like the opportunities have kind of been there. And in a way, I’m there’s still prosthodontists when they come out. They’re not they’re definitely not the finished article, you know what I mean? So I think that when I start to realise that that it is an ongoing learning process, so maybe, I don’t know if I’d done some, some sort of specialist training, whether that would be like a broad maybe that I would have got a lot more kind of varied clinical experience. A friend of mine actually travelled to NYU and he did like an implant diploma and from that he placed about 150 implants. So that that kind of really fast tracked his career. It’s a journey, right? So sometimes you know that that journey doesn’t that journey is individual for everyone. So I suppose that that that could be a regret. But equally, I’m also kind of content with the way that things have panned out like that.

And who would you like to see as a guest on this podcast? Who’s whose story would you like to hear the most?

Dental or anyone.

It is called Dental Leaders. One of the problematic pieces.

Um, do you know what do you know? Actually, when we were at the first Mini Smile makeover, can you remember we went for dinner, Right? We. We all.

Remind me. Remind me, remind me of, like, you don’t feel like 150. So this was. There’s that pizza restaurant.

On Whiteladies Road in Bristol, I. Bosco Can you remember that?

Bosco Yeah, yeah, yeah.

With Alfonso.

That’s the one. Yeah.

When Depeche had the bike motorbike crash.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the.

One. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

So that wasn’t the first mini spa maker that was well, in man, that was well in. We’ve done many by that point. You’ve done.

A few for.

That. Yeah, but that.

Was, that was actually my favourite mini spa maker. We actually talk about that one because the sun was out and we had drinks outside didn’t we. Yeah. And, and then we went to Moscow. Well, what are you telling me about Moscow again? Tell me.

So I think.

The.

Guys that.

Were there for dinner, I’m not sure if we’re talking about the same one, but it was Andy McLean and Kailash.

Kailash Yeah, both of them came.

And that was great because, I mean, it’s the first time I’ve kind of properly had a chat with those guys in that environment. And I think Kailash was trying to tell me a little bit about his story and a bit of his kind of background. And I don’t know if he’s been on the show. I don’t know if.

Yeah, twice. Twice. Yeah. I was going.

To say one of those two guys. So either Kailash and Andy McLean, I don’t know.

Andy McLean is a good guy, though. Andy McLean is a goodie. I’m going to I’m going to get him on.

You should try and get him on. And no, I will.

I will.

For sure.

I mean, his work is just outstanding.

And the original.

Composite veneer guy, wasn’t.

He? Yeah. Yeah, it’d be great to hear it.

It’d be great to hear his story and see how how we got about going on there.

So interesting. He tells me when when I told him, Listen, Andy, like at the time he was booked nine months ahead with composite veneers. Yeah, yeah. And I said, Dude, you know, that’s a lot of polishing. It’s a lot of polishing. Like they sometimes think, you know, what am I like, some sort of Polish guy? And he went, you know, that’s when I’m most at ease in my life. Like, gets himself to like a Zen sort of mindset and focus. And he’s in a flow state as he’s polishing these teeth, you know, and, and, you know, you realise like that’s, that’s loving your career isn’t it. That’s, that’s, that’s, that’s a beautiful thing. And I’m sure you can relate in some way, right?

If you’ve got like a passion.

I mean I think if you’ve got passion for polishing composites, you know you love it, you know, you know.

You love love. Yeah. You can spend.

Hours polishing.

Composite then.

Yeah. Think you you’re pretty much there, aren’t you? But, um, yeah.

I can.

I can definitely relate to that, but probably not quite to that level.

Basil. Basil. Basil. You know, he’s famous for his temporaries, and. And he says sometimes he gets into this zone of, like, overdoing it, making the temporary this unbelievable thing. We’re all guilty of it a bit, right? We don’t know where to stop as well. That’s the other thing.

I think there’s stuff like that, you know, when you’ve got like a kind of a more kind of rehab case or like a veneer case coming in, just spending that extra bit of time on the temporaries just, you know, really overdeliver under-promising but over delivering, you know, I think that’s that extra like little bit of time that you’re spending and just getting that reaction from the patient. That’s what it’s all about.

So am I wrong that your work is all minimally invasive? Do you do you do things like rehab cases as well?

Yeah. Yeah. So. Oh, do you?

I do quite a lot of varied work, to be honest. I think a lot of the stuff that I usually kind of post on Instagram is the stuff that I’ve had kind of time to photograph or time to enjoy. And a lot of the time when it’s a less demanding case, that’s often when I try and photograph everything. But it can be difficult. But, you know, there’s a lot of cases of kind of upper upper arch rehab that I’ve got going on in Queen’s Square at the moment. I’m doing quite a lot of implant work in my practice, so I think I’m getting to a point where the photos are good enough to post on Instagram. I know that’s that’s a bad thing to say, but you know, sometimes that’s the difficulty as Instagram sometimes doesn’t show any kind of mistakes or any like little things that are not quite right. So, you know, I think these I’m growing in these areas as well.

It depends depends on your market, isn’t it? Because the majority of dentists who post on Instagram are aiming their pictures at patients? Yeah, but but someone like you or like Depeche, for instance, is more aiming the picture at dentists.

Yeah.

And and you can you can get you can get paralysed by perfection though. But you know, that’s that’s one thing I would warn you against. You know, next time Obtenant says oh come and do a course on whatever. Yeah. Even if, even if that course you don’t feel like you’re 100. Yet you do the work, just get it out because getting it out is the work. And then. And then. And then as you know yourself, like even, you know, I’ve seen 150 mini spa makers. It’s constantly changing. He’s constantly adding to it and all that. The more the more you deliver that course, the course itself then evolves. Yeah. Whereas trying to make it perfect first time. Um. Yeah, it’s.

True.

That’s also a learning process as well. Right. And that’s nice. Bit of wisdom added there. Yeah.

It’s difficult. Being a teacher is difficult. I’ve noticed that, you know, having worked with a lot of teachers, it’s difficult. It’s difficult. Difficult. It’s a lot of hours of actually, you know, making these presentations. And normally it’s fuelled by pure passion. I mean, you can’t you can’t sort of think that you get paid for those hours because you don’t you could be the top teacher in the world. You’re the top teacher in the world, but everyone else here doesn’t get paid for the number of hours they put in. But it’s the passion that keeps you wanting to keep going, man. So, you know, I wish you well with it, my buddy. I wish you well with it. We’ve come to the end of our time. Let’s. Let’s finish it off with the. With the usual questions. Fancy dinner party. Three guests, dead or alive, Who would you have?

So this is this is a non Dental Leaders one, right? This can be anyone know?

It can be anyone. Anyone. It can be anyone.

Okay, cool. So, um, I’m. I’m thinking, um. Had to be someone magic related, you know, like, I’d love to get some into the mind of, well, Paul Daniels could be one, but I think David Blaine is super. He’s super cryptic. Right. There’s something about that guy. I’m sure there’s a lot of layers to unravel there. So yeah, I’d love to love to have him there. And there’s a couple of tricks you’ve done that I just I just love to know how he did some of those so he would be a good guy. I’ve also got, um, Nobu Mata’utia matches, You know, the guy, the. The chef there, the head of Nobu. I’d love to love to have him there. That’s like my favourite restaurant, so it would be great to.

It is good for.

You. The funny thing about Nobu is ridiculous. The prices are ridiculous, right? Hardly anyone in there is paying for the dinner themselves. Right? It’s all corporate. But the one thing I’ve noticed. I mean, you like food, right? I like food. I hate it when I go and eat something. And I think I could have made that myself. But something. There’s something about it. Even if it’s delicious. If I could have made it myself. It’s just. And in Nobu, it’s. I remember it was the first time and repeatedly, every time I’ve been I’ve only been like four times in my life. But every time you eat something, you think, what the hell did he do that? You have no idea what it was.

It’s amazing.

Yeah. Every time I’ve been like. It’s just, um. Yeah, just. The food is just outstanding. So. Yeah, it’d be be a great person to.

What’s his name?

Matt. Matt What?

Nobu Matsuhisa. Matsuhisa Ohisa. Yeah.

I didn’t realise it was a guy. How cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was thinking, thinking outside the box with him and then, um. The other. The other guy. I mean, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the. The video of the launch of the iPhone. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Steve Jobs deliver that.

I’ve watched that a hundred times. Like, I adore it.

It is just so amazing.

It’s like just perfection, the way that is delivered. And I mean, to just spend a bit of time with that guy just to understand how his mind works. Like literally that would be, um, that would be great. So yeah, I think those are, those are three, three good people.

Very nice. Very, very nice and deathbed. A bit weird with a guy so young friends and family around you. What three pieces of advice would you leave them with?

Well, this is tough.

So I’ve always kind of liked that that quote. So as cliche as it is, you know, life life is basically like a blank canvas. So, you know, you want to make your own mark on it and kind of make your own Mona Lisa. That’s that’s the advice I’d definitely give to to my to my girls as well. That’s something that I definitely try and impart on them. Um. I suppose. The other thing is. You know, kind of. You know, believe in the magic. Do you know what I mean? Like, believe that the things are you can kind of deliver something and believe in yourself, even if you think it’s impossible. Believe that that can happen. Because, you know, you’d be surprised at kind of what you can achieve in life and, you know, believe in yourself and and doing that and.

Confidence.

Kind of one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just, you know, be confident in yourself. I think. I think confidence in abundance, you know, like you say, putting yourself in the right position and creating those opportunities, that’s that’s like a really kind of important thing to, to believe in.

And by the.

Way, you know, your kids are young. Yeah. But when I think about what do you want to give your kids? Yeah. And I think about it all the time, right? Because it’s difficult. You’re trying to you’re trying to do the best you can. Right? And I’ve put, I think, confidence and kindness. Yeah. And if you can manage those two, you’ve done really, really well. Like, really, really well. Um, it’s, it’s, you know, you’ve got young kids and you end up loving them. Of course. Yeah. But what do you want to give them? Yeah. Confidence is such a big one. Hold on.

What else.

It’s. It’s so true. And it’s never had to think about that. So. Yeah, an interesting one.

What’s your third?

Um, yeah, Just, I suppose.

I suppose just like a thank you for. For everything, you know, thank you for, like, the support and just the, the opportunities, because I think growing and spending time on your career requires a certain amount of kind of support from your family. And, you know, the family for sure have always been there. So definitely just like a just a thank you for everything because, you know, without your support and without your kind of, you know, always, always striving me to to want to achieve better. Like it’s there’s always that encouragement that, you know, you can do it that kind of can do attitude. So just, just a thank you for everything.

That’s lovely, man. That’s lovely, buddy. Like that very much, man. But it’s been lovely to have. You really has really enjoyed it. And and I’ve been following you since, I don’t know, two years after you qualified and the acceleration is massive. And now I remember you did tell me you knew the Cornish dentist, but. But it’s all making a lot more sense now, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. No, it’s all Alan’s.

A great guy. And, you know, I could see both of you. The acceleration. The acceleration, man. It’s just lovely to see you, man. Lovely to see you. I’ve talked about this before. Yeah. Where you know, you qualify. Is it a 2012 three?

So, yeah, it’s been 11 years this year. Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know, 17 years after me. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. And then to watch someone go from knowing nothing and knowing a little bit and knowing and then to see them go straight past, you know, know way more than me in so many areas, right? In most areas it’s just a wonderful thing to watch, man. It really is. And I watch your progress with interest, man. So thanks a lot for doing this.

To to kind man and yeah, really appreciate you having me on here and thanks Thanks for the advice along the way.

Cool my buddy. Thanks a lot, bud. Cheers.

This is Dental Leaders, the podcast where you get to go one on one with emerging leaders in dentistry. Your hosts. Payman, Langroudi and Prav. Solanki.

Thanks for listening, guys. If you got this far, you must have listened to the whole thing. And just a huge thank you both from me and pay for actually sticking through and listening to what we’ve had to say and what our guest has had to say, because I’m assuming you got some value out of it.

If you did get some value out of it, think about subscribing and if you would share this with a friend who you think might get some value out of it, too. Thank you so, so, so much for listening. Thanks.

And don’t forget our six star rating.